Sewing Machine For Sale

Cheap Love Not Included

“Can I have the Classified Ads Re-Correction Department, please?”


[These four classified ads appeared in a newspaper on four consecutive days... the last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day’s mistake...]

MONDAY
“For sale - SK Sharath has a sewing machine for sale. Phone 255-0707 after 7PM and ask for Mrs Mani who lives with him cheap.”

TUESDAY
Notice: We regret having erred in SK Sharath’s ad yesterday. It should have read:
“One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone 255-0707 and ask for Mrs Mani, who lives with him after 7PM.”

WEDNESDAY
Notice: SK Sharath has informed us that he has received several annoying telephone calls because of the error we made in the classified ad yesterday. The ad stands correct as follows:
“For sale - SK Sharath has a sewing machine for sale. Cheap. Phone 255-0707 after 7PM and ask for Mrs Mani who loves with him.”

THURSDAY
“Notice: I, SK Sharath, have no sewing machine for sale. I smashed it. Don’t call 255-0707 as I have had the phone disconnected. I have not been carrying on with Mrs Mani. Until yesterday, she was my housekeeper but she quit.”


QuotaBills
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Marketing strategy is a lot like military strategy. - Liddell Hart

Marketing isn't magic. There is a science to it. - Dan Zarrella

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

Malaria: Several shopping centers close to each other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Social media allows big companies to act small again. - Jay Baer

Content is the atomic particle of all digital marketing. - Rebecca Lieb

I intend to build this brand again... Elite is legendary. - Donald Trump

For corporate marketers, podcasting is low-hanging fruit. - Paul Gillin

Give them quality. That's the best kind of advertising. - Milton Hershey

Increasingly, the mass marketing is turning into a mass of niches. - Chris Anderson

A good thing sells itself; a bad thing advertises itself for sale. - African Saying

Advertising has annihilated the power of the most powerful adjectives. - Paul Valery

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Bargain Sale: A place where a woman can ruin one dress while she buys another - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

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Marketers need to build digital relationships and reputation before closing a sale. - Chris Brogan

Please don't come to my garage sale if you've ever let me borrow something. - Mike Spears

Every sale has five basic obstacles: no need, no money, no hurry, no desire, no trust. - Zig Ziglar

It used to be that people needed products to survive. Now products need people to survive. - Nicholas Johnson

Good marketing makes the company look smart. Great marketing makes the customer feel smart. - Joe Chernov

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

The next time you hear a social media myth, question it. Ask for the proof, and ask out loud. - Dan Zarrella

The stronger the dialog, the stronger the brand; the weaker the dialog, the weaker the brand. - Larry Webber

Put your energy into making things that are likeable, not some douchey social media strategy. - Matthew Inman

No matter what, the very first piece of social media real estate I'd start with is a blog. - Chris Brogan

The way you can understand all of the social media is as the creation of a new kind of public space. - Danah Boyd

Before you create any more 'great content,' figure out how you are going to market it first. - Joe Pulizzi

Advertising promotes the divine discontent which makes people strive to improve their economic status. - Ralph Butler

Advertising is the modern substitute for argument; its function is to make the worse appear the better. - George Santayana

Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it. - Stephen Leacock

The Internet has turned what used to be a controlled, one-way message into a real-time dialogue with millions. - Danielle Sacks

Word-of-mouth marketing has always been important. Today, it's more important than ever because of the Internet. - Newt Barrett

The aim of marketing is to know and understand the customer so well the product or service fits him and sells itself. - Peter F Drucker

People shop and learn in a whole new way compared to just a few years ago, so marketers need to adapt or risk extinction. - Brian Halligan

Instead of one-way interruption, Web marketing is about delivering useful content at just the precise moment that a buyer needs it. - David M. Scott

Even when you are marketing to your entire audience or customer base, you are still simply speaking to a single human at any given time. - Ann Handley

Search, a marketing method that didn't exist a decade ago, provides the most efficient and inexpensive way for businesses to find leads. - John Battelle

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't need to advertise it. - Will Rogers

Social media is about friending someone so they'll invite you to a party or get you a job. If that's the work, Snapchat is the playground. - Evan Spiegel

If you have more money than brains, you should focus on outbound marketing. If you have more brains than money, you should focus on inbound marketing. - Guy Kawasaki


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02-Dec-2020