Sewing Machine For Sale

Cheap Love Not Included

“Can I have the Classified Ads Re-Correction Department, please?”


[These four classified ads appeared in a newspaper on four consecutive days... the last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day’s mistake...]

MONDAY
“For sale - SK Sharath has a sewing machine for sale. Phone 255-0707 after 7PM and ask for Mrs Mani who lives with him cheap.”

TUESDAY
Notice: We regret having erred in SK Sharath’s ad yesterday. It should have read:
“One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone 255-0707 and ask for Mrs Mani, who lives with him after 7PM.”

WEDNESDAY
Notice: SK Sharath has informed us that he has received several annoying telephone calls because of the error we made in the classified ad yesterday. The ad stands correct as follows:
“For sale - SK Sharath has a sewing machine for sale. Cheap. Phone 255-0707 after 7PM and ask for Mrs Mani who loves with him.”

THURSDAY
“Notice: I, SK Sharath, have no sewing machine for sale. I smashed it. Don’t call 255-0707 as I have had the phone disconnected. I have not been carrying on with Mrs Mani. Until yesterday, she was my housekeeper but she quit.”


QuotaBills
Clarity trumps persuasion. - Flint McGlaughlin

Window Shopping: Eye browsing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

These are cathedrals of shopping. - Emile Zola

Advertising Executive: Yessir, nosir, ulcer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Social media are tools. Real time is a mindset. - David M. Scott

By listening, marketing will re-learn how to talk. - David Weinberger

Marketing strategy is a lot like military strategy. - Liddell Hart

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

Social media allows big companies to act small again. - Jay Baer

I intend to build this brand again... Elite is legendary. - Donald Trump

Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill-bucket. - George Orwell

Traditional methods of sales prospecting are grossly inefficient. - Jill Konrath

Marketing is far too important to leave to the marketing department. - David Packard

Yesterday ended last night. Today is a brand new day and it's yours. - Zig Ziglar

Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing about. - Benjamin Franklin

Marketing is trying to figure out what people want so you can give it to them. - Shelly Lazarus

I am on a ketos diet so I avoid sugar, dairy products, wheat, grain or pulses. - Puneet Issar

There is no such thing as a bad client, but there such a thing as bad advertising. - Jerry D Femina

Marketers need to build digital relationships and reputation before closing a sale. - Chris Brogan

Please don't come to my garage sale if you've ever let me borrow something. - Mike Spears

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

Marketing is no longer about the stuff that you make, but about the stories you tell. - Seth Godin

Every sale has five basic obstacles: no need, no money, no hurry, no desire, no trust. - Zig Ziglar

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

It used to be that people needed products to survive. Now products need people to survive. - Nicholas Johnson

Good marketing makes the company look smart. Great marketing makes the customer feel smart. - Joe Chernov

The next time you hear a social media myth, question it. Ask for the proof, and ask out loud. - Dan Zarrella

The stronger the dialog, the stronger the brand; the weaker the dialog, the weaker the brand. - Larry Webber

I went to a garage sale. "How much for the garage?" "It's not for sale." - Steven Wright

Before you create any more 'great content,' figure out how you are going to market it first. - Joe Pulizzi

Networking is marketing. Marketing yourself, marketing your uniqueness, marketing what you stand for. - Christine Comaford-Lynch

Advertising promotes the divine discontent which makes people strive to improve their economic status. - Ralph Butler

Advertising is the modern substitute for argument; its function is to make the worse appear the better. - George Santayana

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it. - Stephen Leacock

The Internet has turned what used to be a controlled, one-way message into a real-time dialogue with millions. - Danielle Sacks

People shop and learn in a whole new way compared to just a few years ago, so marketers need to adapt or risk extinction. - Brian Halligan

Audiences everywhere are tough. They don't have time to be bored or brow beaten by orthodox, old fashioned advertising. - Craig Davis

Understand the key factors in the math behind viral marketing, and use those to figure out what it takes to get viral growth. - David Skok

With traditional marketing, you tell people you are a rock star. With content marketing, you show them you're a rock star. - Robert Rose

Calories: 1. Weight lifters; 2. Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Instead of one-way interruption, Web marketing is about delivering useful content at just the precise moment that a buyer needs it. - David M. Scott

Even when you are marketing to your entire audience or customer base, you are still simply speaking to a single human at any given time. - Ann Handley

Fall: The season when your wife buys new winter clothes so she will have something to wear when she goes out shopping for spring outfits - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Search, a marketing method that didn't exist a decade ago, provides the most efficient and inexpensive way for businesses to find leads. - John Battelle

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't need to advertise it. - Will Rogers

Advertising moves the goods - if it's good advertising. Bad advertising doesn't move the goods because it doesn't move the buyers. - Unknown

Social media is about friending someone so they'll invite you to a party or get you a job. If that's the work, Snapchat is the playground. - Evan Spiegel

History will see advertising as one of the real evil things of our time. It is stimulating people constantly to want things, want this, want that. - Malcolm Muggeridge


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03-Jul-2022