Sewing Machine For Sale

Cheap Love Not Included

“Can I have the Classified Ads Re-Correction Department, please?”


[These four classified ads appeared in a newspaper on four consecutive days... the last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day’s mistake...]

MONDAY
“For sale - SK Sharath has a sewing machine for sale. Phone 255-0707 after 7PM and ask for Mrs Mani who lives with him cheap.”

TUESDAY
Notice: We regret having erred in SK Sharath’s ad yesterday. It should have read:
“One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone 255-0707 and ask for Mrs Mani, who lives with him after 7PM.”

WEDNESDAY
Notice: SK Sharath has informed us that he has received several annoying telephone calls because of the error we made in the classified ad yesterday. The ad stands correct as follows:
“For sale - SK Sharath has a sewing machine for sale. Cheap. Phone 255-0707 after 7PM and ask for Mrs Mani who loves with him.”

THURSDAY
“Notice: I, SK Sharath, have no sewing machine for sale. I smashed it. Don’t call 255-0707 as I have had the phone disconnected. I have not been carrying on with Mrs Mani. Until yesterday, she was my housekeeper but she quit.”


QuotaBills
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Social media are tools. Real time is a mindset. - David M. Scott

Marketing strategy is a lot like military strategy. - Liddell Hart

Marketing isn't magic. There is a science to it. - Dan Zarrella

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

For corporate marketers, podcasting is low-hanging fruit. - Paul Gillin

A brand new vacuum cleaner with all the latest attractions - Archie Bunker

Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill-bucket. - George Orwell

Advertising is the greatest art form of the twentieth century. - Marshall McLuhan

Traditional methods of sales prospecting are grossly inefficient. - Jill Konrath

Increasingly, the mass marketing is turning into a mass of niches. - Chris Anderson

A good thing sells itself; a bad thing advertises itself for sale. - African Saying

When all you've got is a hammer, bad service looks like a nail. - Doc Searls

Advertising has annihilated the power of the most powerful adjectives. - Paul Valery

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Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising. - Mark Twain

Marketing is trying to figure out what people want so you can give it to them. - Shelly Lazarus

There is no such thing as a bad client, but there such a thing as bad advertising. - Jerry D Femina

Marketers need to build digital relationships and reputation before closing a sale. - Chris Brogan

Please don't come to my garage sale if you've ever let me borrow something. - Mike Spears

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

Every sale has five basic obstacles: no need, no money, no hurry, no desire, no trust. - Zig Ziglar

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

We have always said that advertising is just the icing on the cake. It is not the cake. - Meg Whitman

It used to be that people needed products to survive. Now products need people to survive. - Nicholas Johnson

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is, I don't know which half. - John Wannamaker

No matter what, the very first piece of social media real estate I'd start with is a blog. - Chris Brogan

I went to a garage sale. "How much for the garage?" "It's not for sale." - Steven Wright

Companies need to lighten up and take themselves less seriously. They need to get a sense of humor. - Unknown

The way you can understand all of the social media is as the creation of a new kind of public space. - Danah Boyd

Before you create any more 'great content,' figure out how you are going to market it first. - Joe Pulizzi

Advertising is the modern substitute for argument; its function is to make the worse appear the better. - George Santayana

It no longer makes economic sense to send an advertising message to the many in hopes of persuading the few. - M. Lawrence Light

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it. - Stephen Leacock

The Internet has turned what used to be a controlled, one-way message into a real-time dialogue with millions. - Danielle Sacks

In today's information age of Marketing and Web 2.0, a company's website is the key to their entire business. - Marcus Sheridan

The aim of marketing is to know and understand the customer so well the product or service fits him and sells itself. - Peter F Drucker

Doing business without advertising is like winking at a girl in the dark. You know what you are doing, but nobody else does. - Stuart H Britt

Understand the key factors in the math behind viral marketing, and use those to figure out what it takes to get viral growth. - David Skok

Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless. - Sinclair Lewis

Search, a marketing method that didn't exist a decade ago, provides the most efficient and inexpensive way for businesses to find leads. - John Battelle

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't need to advertise it. - Will Rogers

Social media is about friending someone so they'll invite you to a party or get you a job. If that's the work, Snapchat is the playground. - Evan Spiegel

If you have more money than brains, you should focus on outbound marketing. If you have more brains than money, you should focus on inbound marketing. - Guy Kawasaki


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04-Apr-2020