Ukrainian Sausage

Are you qualified to buy Ukrainian sausage?


A man goes into a store and tells the clerk, “I’d like some Ukrainian sausage.” The clerk looks at him and says, “Are you Ukrainian?”

The guy, clearly offended, says, “Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a taco would you ask if I was Mexican? Would you?
The clerk says, “Well, no.”

“And if I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?”
The clerk says, “Well, I probably wouldn’t.”

With deep self-righteous indignation, the guy says, “Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I’m Ukrainian just because I ask for Ukrainian sausage?”
The clerk replies, “Because you’re at Home Depot.”


QuotaBills
A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

The eyes have one language everywhere. - George Herbert

Dance is the hidden language of the soul. - Martha Graham

Nothing you can't spell will ever work. - Will Rogers

Music is the universal language of mankind. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I will not down to posterity talking bad grammar. - Benjamin Disraeli

Speech was given to man to disguise his thoughts. - Charles de Talleyrand

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech. - Martin Fraquhar Tupper

Ratify: To use a spell and turn a person into a rodent - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A fool is known by his speech; and a wise man by silence. - Pythagoras

A sage thing is timely silence, and better than any speech. - Plutarch

I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way. - Mark Twain

If you're a good numbers person, you're a bad language person. - Frank Luntz

Laughter is, after speech, the chief thing that holds society together. - Max Eastman

The 3 fastest means of communication: Twitter; Telephone; Tell a woman. - Unknown

Grammar is a piano I play by ear. All I know about grammar is its power. - Joan Didion

The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said. - Peter F Drucker

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

Under all speech that is good for anything there lies a silence that is better. - Thomas Carlyle

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

Actions, looks, words and steps form the alphabet by which you may spell character. - Johann Kasper Lavater

Language: The blood of the soul into which thoughts run, and out of which they grow - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

I am going to give a long speech today. I haven't had time to prepare a short one. - Winston Churchill

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman

Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything beautiful, for beauty is God's handwriting. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech. - George Bernard Shaw

I want flowers, I don't want to text. What does that make me? What kind of dinosaur am I? - Jennifer Garner

If we do not believe in freedom of speech for those we despise, we do not believe in it at all. - Noam Chomsky

Language, identity, place, home: these are all of a piece - just different elements of belonging and not-belonging. - Jhumpa Lahiri

Thanksgiving is the language of heaven, and we had better start to learn it if we are not to be mere dumb aliens there. - AJ Gossip

The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. - Alan Kay

The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless. - Unknown

Charity, good behaviour, amiable speech, unselfishness - these by the chief sage have been declared the elements of popularity. - Burmese Proverb

The five essential entrepreneurial skills for success: Concentration, Discrimination, Organization, Innovation and Communication. - Harold S Geneen

All worthwhile men have good thoughts, good ideas, and good intentions, but precious few of them ever translate those into action. - John Hancock Field

Music is a language that doesn't speak in particular words. It speaks in emotions, and if it's in the bones, it's in the bones. - Keith Richards

This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. - Unknown


see also   Language  Section
Slovak Muffler Accessory
Ukrainian Air Conditioning
Ukrainian Cattle Car
Ukrainian Horse Transportation

 

Parking Squeeze

Tree Barking

Elephant Sunset

TP Safety

Locked Up Bull Elk

Duck Crossing

Peeping Snake

Hydro Water Power

Cutting Edge Delivery

Baby Scan

Redneck Mirror

Skateboard Statue

WipeOut

Turtle Truck

How To Burn Fat

Unplugged

Praying & Preying Mantis

Good Driver

Overpass Passover

Fire Starter
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

13-Aug-2022