Redneck Coffee Table

Turkish Bath: A pool room - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Keep calm and run the table. - Unknown

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? - Steven Wright

Your messages are all the coffee I need. - Unknown

When coffee dreams, it dreams of chocolate. - Unknown

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Coffee,chocolate, men. The richer the better! - Unknown

Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee? - Albert Camus

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons. - T S Eliot

At a round table there is no dispute about place. - Italian Proverb

Where love sets the table, food tastes at its best. - French Proverb

I'd rather take coffee than compliments just now. - Louisa May Alcott

I only drink coffee grown in high altitude rain forests. - Rob Dyrdek

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. - Paul Erdos

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. - Stephanie Piro

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. - Steven Wright

The man who can dominate a London dinner-table can dominate the world. - Oscar Wilde

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

I did not literally paint that table, but the emotion it produces upon me. - Henri Matisse

I never drink coffee at lunch - I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. - Ronald Reagan

I love you more than pumpkin spice latte but please don't make me prove it! - Unknown

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

If there's no coffee, I'm not getting up. Make Groundhog Day just better. - ethicalbean

It's amazing how the world begins to change through the eyes of a cup of coffee. - Donna A Favors

It isn't so much what's on the table that matters, as what's on the chairs. - W S Gilbert

The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going. - Reinhard Bonnke

I just want a hot cup of coffee, black, and I don't want to hear about your troubles. - Charles Bukowski

Insight comes, more often than not, from looking at what's been on the table all along. - David McCullough

Jitterbug: 1. A Scotchman in front of a pay toilet; 2. Insect that's had too much coffee. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. - Unknown

Life as pool table,
White is focus,
Others, targets.
Stick is your driving force! - Stricketer

Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee, and then after that still don't talk to me. - Unknown

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

May I never be drunk enough to try to play a foosball table alone like that dude over there who actually is. - Dr. Okay Times

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work. - Stephen King

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

You need the kind of objectivity that makes you forget everything you've heard, clear the table, and do a factual study like a scientist would. - Steve Wozniak

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda