Apple Doubles Up On Its IT

Apple app provides major social breakthrough



new Apple software and hardware products

Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music. The iTit will cost from $4990 to $6990, depending on cup and speaker size. This is considered a major social breakthrough, because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

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Kind words are the music of the world. - F.W. Faber

Extraordinary how potent cheap music is. - Noel Coward

Hope springs eternal in the human breast. - Alexander Pope

Oh, so they have internet on computers now! - Homer Simpson

Wagner's music is better than it sounds. - Mark Twain

Country music is three chords and the truth. - Harlan Howard

Music is well said to be the speech of angels. - Thomas Carlyle

My dad's Irish music was such a huge influence. - Dido Armstrong

Making music should not be left to the professionals. - Michelle Shocked

Writing about music is like dancing about architecture. - Elvis Costello

Of all noises, I think music is the least disagreeable. - Samuel Johnson

Dancing can reveal all the mystery that music conceals. - Charles Baudelaire

The computer is down. I hope it's something serious. - Stanton Delaplane

Classical music is music written by famous dead foreigners. - Arlene Heath

Music is my mistress, and she plays second fiddle to no one. - Duke Ellington

Learning music by reading about it is like making love by mail. - Luciano Pavarotti

The sweetest music in the world to every person is his own name. - Unknown

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. - Robert Orben

If in the afterlife there is not music, we will have to import it. - Domenico Cieri Estrada

We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. - Unknown

My metabolism stinks. I can gain weight just listening to dinner music. - Ron Dentinger

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

Music, the greatest good that mortals know and all of heaven we have hear below. - Joseph Addison

Most people live and die with their music still unplayed. They never dare to try. - Mary Kay Ash

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee. - Phyllis Diller

Film is one of the three universal languages, the other two: mathematics and music. - Frank Capra

Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. - Victor Hugo

I love Thanksgiving turkey - it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything. - Plato

A hundred years from now, people will listen to the music of the Beatles the same way we listen to Mozart. - Paul McCartney

I think Paul McGuinness and U2 created the Irish music industry. It certainly wasn't there before that. - Van Morrison

In a weird kind of way, music has afforded me an idealism and perfectionism that I could never attain as me. - Billy Corgan

They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. - Milton Berle

Melody is the essence of music. I compare a good melodist to a fine racer, and counterpoints to hack post-horses. - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. - Penn Jillette

Just think how far we've come in the 20th Century. The man who used to be a cog in the wheel is now a digit in the computer. - Robert Fuoss

The day I made that statement, about inventing the internet, I was tired because I'd been up all night inventing the camcorder. - Al Gore

The problem with the internet is that it gives you everything - reliable material and crazy material. So the problem becomes, how do you discriminate? - Umberto Eco


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08-Dec-2019