I went out with some friends last night and tied one on. I got really plastered.
Knowing that I was wasted, I did something that I have never done before. I took the bus home.
I arrived safe and warm, which seemed really surprising as I have never driven a bus before.
Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson
Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee
Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling
I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King
Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown
Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton
Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash
Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster
I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn
We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown
I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown
Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown
Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney
There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson
Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson
Some call it Cocktail Hour. To me, it's a support group. - Unknown
What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper
I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw
Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown
Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown
One martini is all right, two is too many, three is not enough. - James Thurber
Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin
Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain
Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII
A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur
You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek
One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson
Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke
Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump
My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown
I slipped at a bus stop; I went one way and my hair went the other. That was the end of my wig. - Tia Carrere
I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz
Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung
I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright
If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown
There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin
I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen
You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott
I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde
A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke
Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown
When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway
NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown
Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor
Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee
Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling
I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King
Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown
Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton
Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash
Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster
I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn
We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown
I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown
Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown
Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney
There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson
Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson
Some call it Cocktail Hour. To me, it's a support group. - Unknown
What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper
I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw
Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown
Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown
One martini is all right, two is too many, three is not enough. - James Thurber
Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin
Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain
Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII
A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur
You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek
One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson
Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke
Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump
My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown
I slipped at a bus stop; I went one way and my hair went the other. That was the end of my wig. - Tia Carrere
I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz
Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung
I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright
If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown
There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin
I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen
You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott
I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde
A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke
Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown
When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway
NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown
Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor
see also Bar & Travel Sections
Bus Head Rest
Bus Wait Weight
Cold Weather Travel Warning
Deluxembourg
Designated Driver
Drink Refill
Safe Drive Home
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 Lettuce Face |  Devoted Husband |  Dental Car |  Donut Seeds |  Pill Man |
 Bus Wait Weight |  It Should Start |  Hi, My Name's Cliff - Drop Over Some Time! |  Sparks Recycling |  Last Gasp Request |
19-Nov-2019 |