Things Learned From Children
Little Johnny through the learning curve of life

A 3-year-old’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

A 6-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 60-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies.

A good sense of humour will get you through most problems in life (unfortunately, mostly in retrospect).

A king-size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 square foot house 4 inches deep.

A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.

Baseballs make marks on ceilings. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.

Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

DVDs do not eject peanut butter and jelly sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20-by-20-foot room.

If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes, it does not leak - it explodes.

Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year-old. Duplos will not.

Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can’t walk on water. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

Plastic toys do not like ovens.

“Play-Doh” and “microwave” should never be used in the same sentence.

Quiet does not necessarily mean you don’t need to worry.

Super glue is forever.

The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

There is no such things as child-proofing your house.

When you hear the toilet flush and the phrase “oh, oh,” it’s already too late.

You probably don’t want to know what that odor is.

see also   Kids,  Little Johnny  &  Practical  Sections


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