Up With Carl

Never judge a book by its movie. - J.W. Egan

Reality is frequently inaccurate. - Douglas Adams

Legitimate reality (realty) company. - Archie Bunker

A TV licence is a licence to print money. - Roy Thomson

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch. - Jane Wagner

I steal from every single movie ever made. - Quentin Tarantino

Imitation is the sincerest form of television. - Fred Allen

Fiction reveals the truth that reality obscures. - Jessamyn West

Love paid a price so hope could become a reality. - Susan Gaddis

Always remember, your focus determines your reality. - George Lucas

Sex on television can't hurt you - unless you fall off. - Unknown

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs. - Lily Tomlin

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV. - Jerry Seinfeld

What I've learned is that life is too short and movies are too long. - Denis Leary

Getting an award from TV is like being kissed by someone with bad breath. - Mason Williams

Celebrity was a long time in coming; it will go away. Everything goes away. - Carol Burnett

A sign of celebrity is that his name is often worth more than his services. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television. - Victoria Wood

All I can say is, if they show my butt in a movie, it better be a wide shot. - Jennifer Lopez

A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality. - Yoko Ono

The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself. - Will Rogers

I wanted this to be a movie on TV so I could press the off button and make it all go away. - Michelle Rowen

People who urge you to be realistic generally want you to accept their version of reality. - Unknown

It takes hunger, tenacity and commitment to see a dream through until it becomes a reality. - John C Maxwell

So many people are on television that don't know me, and they're like experts on me. - Donald Trump

The only way to see a movie is in a big theater, on a big screen, with a big bag of popcorn. - Dan Glickman

I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight. - Milton Berle

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! - Homer Simpson

The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. - Groucho Marx

With 'The A-Team,' it was like, 'Alright, I'm going to do a big popcorn movie and see how that feels.' - Joe Carnahan

The use of traveling is to regulate imagination by reality, and instead of thinking how things may be, to see them as they are. - Samuel Johnson

We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn't that a little backwards? - Jay Leno

In our society those who are in reality superior in intelligence can be accepted by their fellows only if they pretend they are not. - Marya Mannes

He who cannot change the very fabric of his thought will never be able to change reality, and will never, therefore, make any progress. - Anwar Sadat

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright