Up With Carl

Reality is almost always wrong. - Gregory House

Television is democracy at its ugliest. - Paddy Chayefsky

It's the hottest thing on television. - Donald Trump

Reality is not always probable, or likely. - Jorge Luis Borges

Television has raised writing to a new low. - Samuel Goldwyn

Imitation is the sincerest form of television. - Fred Allen

Fiction reveals the truth that reality obscures. - Jessamyn West

All our separate fictions add up to joint reality. - Stanislaw Lec

Nothing is really real unless it happens on television. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Sex on television can't hurt you - unless you fall off. - Unknown

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

Bed is like the womb, only drier and with better TV reception. - Linda Richman

Canadian cities looked the way American cities did on television. - William Gibson

Television has brought back murder into the home... where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense. - Tom Clancy

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV. - Jerry Seinfeld

The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. - Dave Barry

My children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television. - Erma Bombeck

So long as there's a jingle in your head, television isn't free. - Jason Love

I am a genre lover - everything from spaghetti western to samurai movies. - Quentin Tarantino

We have art so that we do not die of reality. Reality is too much with us. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that is education. - Will Rogers

All I can say is, if they show my butt in a movie, it better be a wide shot. - Jennifer Lopez

A celebrity is a person known to many people he is glad he doesn't know. - H L Mencken

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows. - Woody Allen

I'm kinda disapointed that Canada isn't like the South Park movie said it was. - Joel Madden

I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal. - Groucho Marx

If it weren't for the Japanese and Germans, we wouldn't have any good war movies. - Stanley Ross

I wanted this to be a movie on TV so I could press the off button and make it all go away. - Michelle Rowen

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

So many people are on television that don't know me, and they're like experts on me. - Donald Trump

The only way to see a movie is in a big theater, on a big screen, with a big bag of popcorn. - Dan Glickman

The reality of professional skateboarding contests is that they're not relevant in our world. - Rob Dyrdek

The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault. - Henry Kissinger

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your home. - David Frost

The best reason to go to the movies is to be with other people. Eating the popcorn, being with other people you don't know. - Peter Weller

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. - Albert Einstein

You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete. - R Buckminster Fuller