Make My Daisy

Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Shopping is my cardio. - Carrie Bradshaw

Gun Control: Using both hands - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Leave the gun, take the cannoli. - The Godfather

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

Gladly accept the gifts of the present hour. - Horace

Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind. - William Shakespeare

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

Each day comes bearing its own gifts. Untie the ribbons. - Ruth Ann Schabacker

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue. - Joseph Addison

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue. - Virginia Woolf

Those gifts are ever the most acceptable which the giver has made precious. - Ovid

You can get a lot farther with a kind word and a gun than a kind word alone. - Al Capone

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

It's better to have a gun and need it, than to not have a gun and not need it. - Ricky

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

When I take a gun in hand, the safest place for a pheasant is just opposite the muzzle. - Sydney Smith

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

It's one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody. - Maya Angelou

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

The purpose of life is to discover your gifts, and the meaning of life is to give them away. - Martin Seligman

One of the most important gifts we have in television - the ability to heal through laughter. - Soleil M Frye

When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown

There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy. - Goldie Hawn

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas. - Joseph Stalin

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

Unrest of spirit is a mark of life; one problem after another presents itself and in the solving of them we can find our greatest pleasure. - Kal Menninger

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

I'd love to see Christ come back to crush the spirit of hate and make men put down their guns. I'd also like just one more hit single. - Tiny Tim

I not only knew Houdini, but we had a very lovely relationship. I really though we had something going, and then the son of a gun disappeared. - Betty White