CNN Breaking News

No news is good news. - Ludovic Halevy

The vertizontal hold on the TV. - Archie Bunker

Television has raised writing to a new low. - Samuel Goldwyn

In television blood is thicker than talent. - Gerald F Lieberman

The man who laughs has not yet heard the news. - Bertolt Brecht

Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me! - Homer Simpson

All new news is old news happening to new people. - Malcolm Muggeridge

No news is good news; no journalists is even better. - Nicolas Bentley

When the news is scary, you should look for the helpers. - Fred Rogers

Life doesn't imitate art; it imitates bad television. - Woody Allen

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare. - Fred Allen

Sex on television can't hurt you - unless you fall off. - Unknown

It's very nearly impossible to tell the truth in television. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Television has brought back murder into the home... where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV. - Jerry Seinfeld

The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. - Dave Barry

My children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television. - Erma Bombeck

Getting an award from TV is like being kissed by someone with bad breath. - Mason Williams

The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other. - Ann Landers

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets? - Dick Cavett

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

It is better to be making the news than taking it; to be an actor rather than a critic. - Winston Churchill

Because the Empire controls the media, we can turn any news to the Emperor's advantage. - Daniel Wallace

Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object. - Laurence J Peter

I have had my television aerials removed. It is the moral equivalent of a prostate operation. - Malcolm Muggeridge

One of television's great contributions is that it brought murder back into the home, where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

Evening news is where they begin with "Good evening", and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. - Unknown

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! - Homer Simpson

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

There is no way you can get people to believe you on screen if they know who you really are through television. - Jack Nicholson

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. - Jerry Seinfeld

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn't that a little backwards? - Jay Leno

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

The average family spends 30 hours in front of a television, and they say they don't have the time to have a balanced, integrated life. - Stephen Covey

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump

What brought me into the TV business is what keeps me here and happy. You can learn something new every day if you have a really positive attitude. - Katie Couric

I could never have imagined that firing 67 people on national television would actually make me more popular, especially with the younger generation. - Donald Trump