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No news is good news. - Ludovic Halevy

Literature is news that stays news. - Ezra Pound

A TV licence is a licence to print money. - Roy Thomson

It's the hottest thing on television. - Donald Trump

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover! - Homer Simpson

None loves the messenger who brings bad news. - Sophocles

When I was your age, television was called books. - William Goldman

Television proves that sight has a definite odor. - Gerald F Lieberman

Mobile is a lot closer to TV than it is to desktop. - Mark Zuckerberg

No news is good news; no journalists is even better. - Nicolas Bentley

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

When the news is scary, you should look for the helpers. - Fred Rogers

Life doesn't imitate art; it imitates bad television. - Woody Allen

Let's bask in television's warm, glowing, warming glow. - Homer Simpson

When your wife asks what's on TV, dust is not the right answer. - Unknown

Entertainment is a thing of the past, today we've got television. - Archie Bunker

TV is simply a place where people go when they get tired of thinking. - Kevin Devitte

Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television. - David Letterman

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV. - Jerry Seinfeld

The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. - Dave Barry

So long as there's a jingle in your head, television isn't free. - Jason Love

Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television. - Victoria Wood

And all we feared inside the night / shows true in morning's biased light. - Garth von Buchholz

Do you realize if it weren't for Edison we'd be watching TV by candlelight? - Al Boliska

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts. - Orson Welles

Because the Empire controls the media, we can turn any news to the Emperor's advantage. - Daniel Wallace

I have had my television aerials removed. It is the moral equivalent of a prostate operation. - Malcolm Muggeridge

The automatic stabilizer is unemployment insurance, food stamps, additional coverage of Medicaid. - Franklin Raines

President Ford tells us all to bite the bullet and Betsy Ford goes on TV and shoots off her mouth. - Archie Bunker

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

One of television's great contributions is that it brought murder back into the home, where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

Evening news is where they begin with "Good evening", and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. - Unknown

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! - Homer Simpson

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

There is no way you can get people to believe you on screen if they know who you really are through television. - Jack Nicholson

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of the television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. - Johnny Carson

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons. - Ogden Nash