Chinese to English Translation

Sometimes you just hear what you want to hear


At a travel agency in Shanghai, I asked the Chinese girl behind the counter if she could escort me on a city tour and asked her for her mobile number so I could call her to make arrangements.

She gave me a big smile, nodded her head and said, “Sex sex sex wan free sex for tonight.”

I replied, “Wow, you Chinese women are really hospitable!”

A guy standing next to me overheard, tapped me on the shoulder and said, “What she really said was: 666136429.”



QuotaBills
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted. - Groucho Marx

Speech is silver; silence is golden. - Thomas Carlyle

Language is a virus from outer space. - William S Burroughs

I'm a supporter of my free speech. - Howard Stern

I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West

Dance is the hidden language of the soul. - Martha Graham

Speech is of time; silence is of eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

A story is told as much by silence as by speech. - Susan Griffin

He speaks English, Spanish, and he's bilingual too. - Don King

The art of communication is the language of leadership. - James Humes

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech. - Clifton Fadiman

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit. - W Somerset Maugham

Germlish: Training done using a mixture of English & German - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The English have three vegetables and two of them are cabbage. - Walter Page

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut. - Sam Rayburn

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection. - Yakov Smirnoff

Many agree that the worst thing that could ever happen is if Russia and China get closer. - Donald Trump

When my friends and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker. - Robin Williams

I never made a mistake in grammar but once in my life, and as soon as I done it. I seen it. - Carl Sandburg

Officialese: A government language where you can understand the words, but not the sentences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If we do not believe in freedom of speech for those we despise, we do not believe in it at all. - Noam Chomsky

You're an old-timer if you can remember when setting the world on fire was a figure of speech. - Franklin P Jones

Music is the language of the spirit. It opens the secret of life bringing peace, abolishing strife. - Kahlil Gibran

Although he tortures the English language, he has not yet succeeded in forcing it to reveal its meaning. - J B Morton

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. - Alan Kay

Grammar: 1. Lives with granpar; 2. The difference between Feeling Your Nuts and Feeling You’re Nuts. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

Always try to use the language so as to make quite clear what you mean and make sure your sentence couldn't mean anything else. - C S Lewis

When written in Chinese, the word "crisis" is composed of two characters. One represents danger, and the other represents opportunity. - John F Kennedy

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


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26-Jan-2021