Chinese to English Translation

Sometimes you just hear what you want to hear


At a travel agency in Shanghai, I asked the Chinese girl behind the counter if she could escort me on a city tour and asked her for her mobile number so I could call her to make arrangements.

She gave me a big smile, nodded her head and said, “Sex sex sex wan free sex for tonight.”

I replied, “Wow, you Chinese women are really hospitable!”

A guy standing next to me overheard, tapped me on the shoulder and said, “What she really said was: 666136429.”



QuotaBills
Humor is a universal language. - Joel Goodman

Language is a virus from outer space. - William S Burroughs

I'm a supporter of my free speech. - Howard Stern

Discretion in speech is more than eloquence. - Francis Bacon

Speech is the vestibule to the palace of love. - Jami of Persia

English Wrestling Champion: A lord of the ring - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Speech was given to man to disguise his thoughts. - Charles de Talleyrand

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech. - Martin Fraquhar Tupper

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put. - Winston Churchill

A sage thing is timely silence, and better than any speech. - Plutarch

Germlish: Training done using a mixture of English & German - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Quota: Someone who likes to report other people's speech - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The surest way to make a monkey out of a man is to quote him. - Robert Benchley

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English. - Wilfred Sheed

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

Wisdom is knowing when to speak your mind and when to mind your speech. - Evangel

Dreams say what they mean, but they don't say it in daytime language. - Gail Godwin

When I quote others I do so in order to express my own ideas more clearly. - Michel de Montaigne

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright

No Chinese Catholics are allowed to worship ancestors in their familial temples. - Pope Clement XI

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

I am going to give a long speech today. I haven't had time to prepare a short one. - Winston Churchill

Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree. - Ezra Pound

When my friends and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker. - Robin Williams

Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere

Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to. - Unknown

I, schooled in misery, know many purifying rites, and I know where speech is proper and where silence. - Aeschylus

Although he tortures the English language, he has not yet succeeded in forcing it to reveal its meaning. - J B Morton

The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.999 percent of them are made by people who are still alive. - Joshua Bruns

No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

The English eat all sorts of birds - pigeons, ducks, sparrows - but if you tell them you eat puffin, you might as well come from Mars. - Bjork

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

Music is a language that doesn't speak in particular words. It speaks in emotions, and if it's in the bones, it's in the bones. - Keith Richards

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell


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23-Oct-2021