Chinese to English Translation

Sometimes you just hear what you want to hear


At a travel agency in Shanghai, I asked the Chinese girl behind the counter if she could escort me on a city tour and asked her for her mobile number so I could call her to make arrangements.

She gave me a big smile, nodded her head and said, “Sex sex sex wan free sex for tonight.”

I replied, “Wow, you Chinese women are really hospitable!”

A guy standing next to me overheard, tapped me on the shoulder and said, “What she really said was: 666136429.”



QuotaBills
Speech is silver; silence is golden. - Thomas Carlyle

Language is a virus from outer space. - William S Burroughs

I'm a supporter of my free speech. - Howard Stern

Speech is of time; silence is of eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

Music is well said to be the speech of angels. - Thomas Carlyle

Speech is the vestibule to the palace of love. - Jami of Persia

I will not down to posterity talking bad grammar. - Benjamin Disraeli

China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese. - Charles de Gaulle

The art of communication is the language of leadership. - James Humes

I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27. - Clement Attlee

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit. - W Somerset Maugham

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put. - Winston Churchill

A fool is known by his speech; and a wise man by silence. - Pythagoras

The surest way to make a monkey out of a man is to quote him. - Robert Benchley

An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. - Martin Buber

I look like I'm Chinese or Thai or Japanese - very different. - Mary Kom

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. - Mark Twain

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright

There's nothing like an English weirdo. We have the best nutters in the world. - Sharon Osbourne

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

Speak when you're angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. - L.J. Peter

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech. - George Bernard Shaw

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to. - Unknown

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French - surprised everybody, it was a Chinese restaurant. - Tommy Cooper

I alone of English writers have consciously set myself to make music out of what I may call the sound of sense. - Robert Frost

Language, identity, place, home: these are all of a piece - just different elements of belonging and not-belonging. - Jhumpa Lahiri

No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends. - Mary Catherwood

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

I'll love you, dear, I'll love you till China and Africa meet and the river jumps over the mountain and the salmon sing in the street. - W H Auden

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


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26-May-2020