Chinese to English Translation

Sometimes you just hear what you want to hear


At a travel agency in Shanghai, I asked the Chinese girl behind the counter if she could escort me on a city tour and asked her for her mobile number so I could call her to make arrangements.

She gave me a big smile, nodded her head and said, “Sex sex sex wan free sex for tonight.”

I replied, “Wow, you Chinese women are really hospitable!”

A guy standing next to me overheard, tapped me on the shoulder and said, “What she really said was: 666136429.”



QuotaBills
Silence is safer than speech. - Epictetus

Fair speech may hide a foul heart. - JRR Tolkien

Speech is the small change of silence. - George Meredith

I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West

Poetry is what gets lost in translation. - Robert Frost

Speech is of time; silence is of eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

I am the Roman Emperor and am above grammar. - Emperor Sigismund

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech. - Clifton Fadiman

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put. - Winston Churchill

All poetry is a reproduction of the tones of actual speech. - Robert Frost

Leadership is the capacity to translate vision into reality. - Warren G Bennis

You don't have good grammar when you type with your fists. - C.F. Payne

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

No Chinese Catholics are allowed to worship ancestors in their familial temples. - Pope Clement XI

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

Humour is practically the only thing about which the English are utterly serious. - Malcolm Muggeridge

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

Speak when you're angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. - L.J. Peter

The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles. - Garrison Keillor

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to. - Unknown

You're an old-timer if you can remember when setting the world on fire was a figure of speech. - Franklin P Jones

Fashion is free speech, and one of the privileges, if not always one of the pleasures, of a free world. - Alison Lurie

Although he tortures the English language, he has not yet succeeded in forcing it to reveal its meaning. - J B Morton

The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.999 percent of them are made by people who are still alive. - Joshua Bruns

I alone of English writers have consciously set myself to make music out of what I may call the sound of sense. - Robert Frost

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

Grammar: 1. Lives with granpar; 2. The difference between Feeling Your Nuts and Feeling You’re Nuts. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Charity, good behaviour, amiable speech, unselfishness - these by the chief sage have been declared the elements of popularity. - Burmese Proverb

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

No matter how bad things are, they can always be worse. So what if my stroke left me with a speech impediment? Moses had one, and he did all right. - Kirk Douglas


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05-Aug-2020