Last night I had a salad for dinner. Beulah, peel me a grape. - Mae West In wine, there is truth. - Pliny the Elder Save water - drink vodka. - Unknown Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton That one kind of grapes on my nerves. - Archie Bunker Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder. - Addison Mizner Elderberry: Wisest fruit on the branch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com German headshrinker named Sigmund Fruit - Archie Bunker Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb Avoid fruit and nuts. You are what you eat. - Jim Davis Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence. - Robert Fripp As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields For corporate marketers, podcasting is low-hanging fruit. - Paul Gillin Excellence in any pursuit is the late, ripe fruit of toil. - W.M.L. Jay The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet. - Aristotle I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields One martini is all right, two is too many, three is not enough. - James Thurber Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin Don't be afraid to go out on a limb. That's where the fruit is. - H. Jackson Browne I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur I'm just a person standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut. - Unknown In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. - Miles Kington New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker Chocolate comes from coco, which is a tree - that makes it a plant. Chocolate is salad. - Unknown Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. So just what are time flies, and why do they fly like an arrow? - Groucho Marx I value my garden more for being full of blackbirds than of cherries, and very frankly give them fruit for their songs. - Joseph Addison A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe see also Dining, Food & Wine Sections Apples and Wine - Picked or Stomped? Aussie Wine Glass Cheap Wine Market Costco Wine French Red Wine Glass Prescription Got Any Gwapes? Grapeless Hammock Wine Heavy Drinking If Alcohol Talked Insect Wine Glass Jim’s Happy Hour Men Are Like Fine Wine Navajo Wine New Wine For Seniors Red Wine Diet Redneck Wine Glass Redneck Wine Dispenser Redneck Wine Holder Texas Wine Glass Walmart’s Redneck Wine Wine Aerobics Wine Day Wine Flowchart Wine Glass Chair Wine Glass Lanyard Wine Pairing in the Stone Age Wine Secret Wine Signs Wine Socks Wine Therapy Wine Time Wine Time Finally |
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