Good Morning Liberals

Oh, that lovely title, ex-president. - Dwight D Eisenhower

Vice-President: A cow's fifth teat. - Harry S Truman

When I'm president, everyone gets a free pony. - Vermin Supreme

Some people like to eat octopus. Liberals, mostly. - Russell Baker

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep. - George Stephanopolous

Republicans have nothing but bad ideas and Democrats have no ideas. - Lewis Black

Republicans are men of narrow vision, who are afraid of the future. - Jimmy Carter

Needless to say, the president is correct. Whatever it was he said. - Donald Rumsfeld

Just because you're offended doesn't mean you're right. - Ricky Gervais

Every man who wants to be President is either an egomaniac or crazy. - Dwight D Eisenhower

I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat. - Will Rogers

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

A liberal is a man who will give away everything he doesn't own. - Frank Dane

A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel. - Robert Frost

Republicans will do anything for the poor except get off their backs. - American Proverb

I can remember way back when a liberal was generous with his own money. - Will Rogers

In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take. - Adlai Stevenson

You have to have been a Republican to know how good it is to be a Democrat. - Jackie Kennedy

Frankly, I don't mind not being President. I just mind that someone else is. - Edward Kennedy

A leader in the Democratic Party is a boss, in the Republican Party he is a leader. - Harry S Truman

Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few. - George Bernard Shaw

Liberal and conservative have lost their meaning in America. I represent the distracted center. - Jon Stewart

It's triple the Trump this season... I invited my children, Don Jr. and Ivanka into the boardroom. - Donald Trump

Being President is like being a jackass in a hailstorm. There's nothing to do but stand there and take it. - Lyndon Johnson

To be President of the United States, sir, is to act as advocate for a blind, venomous, and ungrateful client. - John Updike

The seeds of learning can grow almost anywhere. Trump University and my other education-related ventures like... - Donald Trump

I have a fantasy where Ted Turner is elected President but refuses because he doesn't want to give up power. - Arthur C. Clarke

Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president. - Johnny Carson

I was a Democrat for a period of time early on. And then I was also an independent. And then I became a Republican. - Donald Trump

When the President decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no matter what happened Tuesday. - Stephen Colbert

Being President is a lot like running a cemetery. You've got a lot of people under you and nobody's listening. - Bill Clinton

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too. - Oscar Levant

Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half. - Gore Vidal

Did you hear about the auto worker who was offered a position as president of a bank but couldn't afford the pay cut? - Unknown

Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so. - Gore Vidal

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

The Republicans have all of the cards. And this is the time to get rid of Obamacare. This is the time to make the great deal. - Donald Trump

I have long enjoyed the friendship and companionship of Republicans because I am by instinct a teacher, and I would like to teach them something. - Woodrow Wilson

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson