Queen Donald

What Britain needs is an iron lady. - Margaret Thatcher

England is a nation of shopkeepers. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors. - Alice Walker

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

Britain's goal is not to survive, but to prevail. - Winston Churchill

He speaks English, Spanish, and he's bilingual too. - Don King

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put. - Winston Churchill

What Great Britain calls the Far East is to us the near north. - Robert Gordon Menzies

Rain is the one thing the British do better than anybody else. - Marilyn French

If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English. - Wilfred Sheed

There'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood. - Bob Hope

In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce. - Francesco Caracciolo

Elvis may have been the king of rock 'n roll, but I am the queen. - Little Richard

Britain's most useful role is somewhere between bee and dinosaur. - Harold MacMillan

England is an empire, Germany is a nation, a race, France is a person. - Jules Michelet

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen. - Dolly Parton

The Irish and British, they love satire, it's a large part of the culture. - Ben Nicholson

Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne

The people of England are never so happy as when you tell them they are ruined. - Arthur Murphy

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

To disagree with three-fourths of the British public is one of the first requisites of sanity. - Oscar Wilde

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded. - Steven Wright

"Burn everything British," he once advised his Irish countrymen, "except their coal." - Jonathan Swift

If you find yourself saying, "But I can't speak English...", try adding the word "... yet". - Jane Revell

No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

If there be a God, I think that what he would like me to do is paint as much of the map of Africa British red as possible. - Cecil Rhodes

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it makes. - Sir Thomas Beecham

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin