Queen Donald

Scotland is the Canada of England. - Rainn Wilson

I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West

He was not only a bore; he bored for England. - Malcolm Muggeridge

I think Queen Elizabeth II is a charming woman. - Malcolm Muggeridge

England can never be ruined except by a Parliament. - Lord Burleigh

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

I didn't know he was dead; I thought he was British. - Unknown

Jesus on Twitter would have been a pretty amazing thing. - Mark Batterson

Germlish: Training done using a mixture of English & German - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You only have to survive in England and all is forgiven you. - Alan Bennett

The monarchical institution in England is immensely valuable. - Malcolm Muggeridge

The English have three vegetables and two of them are cabbage. - Walter Page

I would rather be a beggar and single than a queen and married. - Queen Elizabeth I

Britain's last gold medal was a bronze in 1952 in Helsinki. - Nigel Starmer-Smith

In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce. - Francesco Caracciolo

Britain's most useful role is somewhere between bee and dinosaur. - Harold MacMillan

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

The 3 fastest means of communication: Twitter; Telephone; Tell a woman. - Unknown

The Irish and British, they love satire, it's a large part of the culture. - Ben Nicholson

The people of England are never so happy as when you tell them they are ruined. - Arthur Murphy

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

Humour is practically the only thing about which the English are utterly serious. - Malcolm Muggeridge

There's nothing like an English weirdo. We have the best nutters in the world. - Sharon Osbourne

The British have a remarkable talent for keeping calm, even when there is no crisis. - Franklin P Jones

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles. - Garrison Keillor

The noblest prospect which a Scotsman ever sees is the high road that leads him to England. - Samuel Johnson

To disagree with three-fourths of the British public is one of the first requisites of sanity. - Oscar Wilde

Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle

Oats: A grain, which in England is generally given to horses, but in Scotland supports the people - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It's triple the Trump this season... I invited my children, Don Jr. and Ivanka into the boardroom. - Donald Trump

"Burn everything British," he once advised his Irish countrymen, "except their coal." - Jonathan Swift

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

The seeds of learning can grow almost anywhere. Trump University and my other education-related ventures like... - Donald Trump

I welcome him like I welcome cold sores. He's from England, he's angry, and he's got Mad Power Disease. - Paula Abdul

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

In England people actually try to be brilliant at breakfast. That is so dreadful of them! Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast. - Oscar Wilde

The English eat all sorts of birds - pigeons, ducks, sparrows - but if you tell them you eat puffin, you might as well come from Mars. - Bjork

It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it makes. - Sir Thomas Beecham

These are stupid people that say, "Oh didn't Trump declare bankruptcy? Didn't he go bankrupt?" I didn't go bankrupt. - Donald Trump