Queen Donald

He was not only a bore; he bored for England. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors. - Alice Walker

English Wrestling Champion: A lord of the ring - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I think Queen Elizabeth II is a charming woman. - Malcolm Muggeridge

England can never be ruined except by a Parliament. - Lord Burleigh

Britain's goal is not to survive, but to prevail. - Winston Churchill

You only have to survive in England and all is forgiven you. - Alan Bennett

What Great Britain calls the Far East is to us the near north. - Robert Gordon Menzies

If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English. - Wilfred Sheed

There'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood. - Bob Hope

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

Elvis may have been the king of rock 'n roll, but I am the queen. - Little Richard

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

The 3 fastest means of communication: Twitter; Telephone; Tell a woman. - Unknown

The Irish and British, they love satire, it's a large part of the culture. - Ben Nicholson

Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

There's nothing like an English weirdo. We have the best nutters in the world. - Sharon Osbourne

The British have a remarkable talent for keeping calm, even when there is no crisis. - Franklin P Jones

The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles. - Garrison Keillor

To cure the British disease with socialism was like trying to cure leukemia with leeches. - Margaret Thatcher

Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

I know why the sun never sets on the British Empire: God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark. - Duncan Spaeth

"Burn everything British," he once advised his Irish countrymen, "except their coal." - Jonathan Swift

I alone of English writers have consciously set myself to make music out of what I may call the sound of sense. - Robert Frost

The seeds of learning can grow almost anywhere. Trump University and my other education-related ventures like... - Donald Trump

If you find yourself saying, "But I can't speak English...", try adding the word "... yet". - Jane Revell

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

'Good English' is whatever educated people talk; so that what is good in one place or time would not be so in another. - C S Lewis

The biggest mistake we see companies make when they first hit Twitter is to think about it as a channel to push out information. - Tim O'Reilly

It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan

In England people actually try to be brilliant at breakfast. That is so dreadful of them! Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast. - Oscar Wilde

The English eat all sorts of birds - pigeons, ducks, sparrows - but if you tell them you eat puffin, you might as well come from Mars. - Bjork

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it makes. - Sir Thomas Beecham

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin