Taking Too Many Seats

How to remove an uncooperative old man at a concert

An elderly man lay sprawled across three entire seats at a concert. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man, “Sorry sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.”
The old man didn’t budge.

The usher became more impatient.
“Sir, if you don’t get up from there I’m going to have to call the manager.”
Once again, the old man just muttered and did nothing.

The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the old dishevelled man, but with no success.

Finally they summoned the police.

The responding officer surveyed the situation briefly then asked, “All right buddy, what’s your name?”
“Fred,” the old man moaned.
“Where you from, Fred?” asked the police officer.
With a terrible strain in his voice, and without moving, Fred replied, “The balcony...”



QuotaBills
The only truth is music. - Jack Kerouac

Music is the poetry of the air. - Jean Paul Richter

Music is an outburst of the soul. - Frederick Delius

He has Van Gogh's ear for music. - Billy Wilder

Music is the soundtrack of your life. - Dick Clark

Music hath charms to soothe the savage beast. - James Bramston

Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence. - Robert Fripp

You can't touch music, but music can touch you. - Mordecai

The only love affair I have ever had was with music. - Maurice Ravel

Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end. - Igor Stravinsky

Writing about music is like dancing about architecture. - Elvis Costello

The music is all around us. All you have to do is listen. - August Rush

You just pick a chord, go twang, and you've got music. - Sid Vicious

Interval In Music: The distance from one piano to the next - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Yoga is almost like music in a way; there's no end to it. - Sting

Most people die with their music still locked up inside them. - Benjamin Disraeli

You can run out of garlic, but you can't really run out of music. - Jace Wayland

There are two kinds of music, the good and bad. I play the good kind. - Louis Armstrong

Music is what tells us that the human race is greater than we realize. - Napoleon Bonaparte

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats. - Albert Schweitzer

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. - George Carlin

My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music. - Vladimir Nabokov

Music sounds different to the one who plays it. It is the musician's curse. - Patrick Rothfuss

Most people live and die with their music still unplayed. They never dare to try. - Mary Kay Ash

After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music. - Aldous Huxley

Music has charms to sooth a savage breast, to soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak. - William Congreve

If you're offered a seat on a rocket ship, don't ask what seat! Just get on. - Sheryl Sandberg

The greatest pleasure of writing is not what it's about, but the music the words make. - Truman Capote

Music is an agreeable harmony for the honor of God and the permissible delights of the soul. - Johann Sebastian Bach

Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana

Words make you think a thought. Music makes you feel a feeling. A song makes you feel a thought. - E Y Harburg

All is beautiful and unceasing, all is music and reason, and all, like diamond, is carbon first, then light. - Jose Martin

My heart, which is so full to overflowing, has often been solaced and refreshed by music when sick and weary. - Martin Luther

Music is by far the most wonderful method we have to remind us each day of the power of personal accomplishment. - Chris S Salazar

A university is an institution that has two thousand seats in the classrooms and eighty thousand in the stadium. - Unknown

Melody is the essence of music. I compare a good melodist to a fine racer, and counterpoints to hack post-horses. - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

If being an egomaniac means I believe in what I do and in my art or music, then in that respect you can call me that. - John Lennon

It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it makes. - Sir Thomas Beecham

I've seen whales calving in the waters off Maui, and I've watched my children being born. But music is the most beautiful thing of all. - Steven Tyler

The music that really turns me on is either running toward God or away from God. Both recognize the pivot, that God is at the center of the jaunt. - Bono


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20-Sep-2020