Taking Too Many Seats

How to remove an uncooperative old man at a concert

An elderly man lay sprawled across three entire seats at a concert. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man, “Sorry sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.”
The old man didn’t budge.

The usher became more impatient.
“Sir, if you don’t get up from there I’m going to have to call the manager.”
Once again, the old man just muttered and did nothing.

The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the old dishevelled man, but with no success.

Finally they summoned the police.

The responding officer surveyed the situation briefly then asked, “All right buddy, what’s your name?”
“Fred,” the old man moaned.
“Where you from, Fred?” asked the police officer.
With a terrible strain in his voice, and without moving, Fred replied, “The balcony...”



QuotaBills
Music is my higher power. - Oliver James

Music is the shorthand of emotion. - Leo Tolstoy

Music, my rampart and my only one. - Edna St Vincent Millay

He has Van Gogh's ear for music. - Billy Wilder

Music is the soundtrack of your life. - Dick Clark

Canned music is like audible wallpaper. - Alistair Cooke

Music comes to me more readily than words. - Ludwig van Beethoven

Music is well said to be the speech of angels. - Thomas Carlyle

Those who have free seats at a play hiss first. - Chinese Proverb

Music is to the soul what words are to the mind. - Unknown

Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence. - Robert Fripp

Music is the moonlight in the gloomy night of life. - Jean Paul Friedrich Richter

Writing about music is like dancing about architecture. - Elvis Costello

Music melts all the separate parts of our bodies together. - Anais Nin

Interval In Music: The distance from one piano to the next - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

After Rossini dies, who will there be to promote his music? - Richard Wagner

We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams. - Arthur O'Shaughnessy

Music is a higher revelation than all wisdom and philosophy. - Ludwig van Beethoven

The seat of knowledge is in the head, of wisdom, in the heart. - William Hazlitt

The sweetest music in the world to every person is his own name. - Unknown

The symphony must be like the world. It must embrace everything. - Gustav Mahler

The hardest instrument in the orchestra to play is second fiddle. - Leonard Bernstein

There are two kinds of music, the good and bad. I play the good kind. - Louis Armstrong

A man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd. - Max Lucado

I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to. - Elvis Presley

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats. - Albert Schweitzer

The power of music feels like taking a a nice brake from this busy world. - Millie DeWitt

All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff. - Frank Zappa

Music, once admitted to the soul, becomes a sort of spirit, and never dies. - Edward Bulwer-Lytton

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

The trouble with dancing naked is that not everything stops when the music does. - Unknown

Music could ache and hurt, that beautiful music was a place a suffering man could hide. - Pat Conroy

Music is everybody's possession. It's only publishers who think that people own it. - John Lennon

If you were music, I would listen to you ceaselessly, and my low spirits would brighten up. - Anna Akhmatova

Music has healing power. It has the ability to take people out of themselves for a few hours. - Elton John

Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana

I alone of English writers have consciously set myself to make music out of what I may call the sound of sense. - Robert Frost

Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on one's nerves - which is the same thing nowadays. - Oscar Wilde

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

The music that really turns me on is either running toward God or away from God. Both recognize the pivot, that God is at the center of the jaunt. - Bono


see also   Aging,  Music,  Police  &  Stress  Sections
Island Music

 

Sun Top Roof With Sun Substitute

2022 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Snow Sleep

21st Century Bride

SUV Haircut

Graphic Auto Accident (PG)

Cell Phone Book

Aussie Safety Sign

VW Snow Tractor

Math Riddle

Maiden Rock Illusion

Radioactive Games

Winter Bystander

Snow Good

Which One's Real?

Enough Art Supplies

Chinese Watermelon Sculptures

Sea Sand Art

Spot the Mistake

Image Challenge
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

24-Jan-2022