Driver’s License Please

Moose are the squirrels of Alaska. - Tim Moon

A TV licence is a licence to print money. - Roy Thomson

No one is in your mind - you are its only driver. - Unknown

That isn't the plural of moose. It's moosi. - Mikey Way

Belonging has always been a fundamental driver of humankind. - Brian Chesky

Pound for pound, the moose is the leanest ruminant on earth. - Daniel M Ortberg

Destiny is a Paris driver pushing a taxicab with my name on it. - Frank Dane

Mick Jagger could French-kiss a moose. He has child-bearing lips. - Joan Rivers

I'm as strong as a bull moose and you can use me to the limit. - Theodore Roosevelt

I don't really get romance. Bring me fish or moose, not flowers. - Eden Robinson

A careful driver is one who honks his horn when he goes through a red light. - Henry Morgan

Never break your putter and your driver in the same round or you're dead. - Tommy Bolt

Liberty is the right to do what I like; license, the right to do what you like. - Bertrand Russell

The one thing you shouldn't do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere. - Jimmy Fallon

Husband-hunting: A sport in which the animal that gets caught has to buy the license - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead. - Mac McCleary

Moose: An animal that has a head and horns on one end and a living room wall on the other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver. - Jay Leno

I pranced around the room like a blind moose, but what I lacked in grace I made up for in effort. - Kiera Cass

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

Sometimes an alien would stand with a moose, not because of solidarity, but because of accidentally doing it. - Tao Lin

I know runners who have suffered a tick bite and ended up with Lyme disease. I'll take an angry moose any day. - Don Kardong

Kissing power is stronger than will power: Girls need to 'prove their love' like a moose needs a hat rack. - Abigail VanBuren

She ran after the garbage truck yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
The driver said, "No, jump in!" - Red Skelton

Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. Nonsense. A moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old. - Bill Bryson

Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, not just moose populations, their main prey, because less moose equals more tree growth. - Rolf Peterson

Don't let the age on your driver's license determine your season in life. Everyone's growing seasons look a bit different. - Vicki Kuyper

Every creature is better alive than dead, men and moose and pine trees, and he who understands it aright will rather preserve its life than destroy it. - Henry David Thoreau

The moose is singularly grotesque and awkward to look at. Why should it stand so high at the shoulders? Why have so long a head? Why have no tail to speak of? - Henry David Thoreau

Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exception of a moose singing 'Embraceable You' in spats. - Woody Allen

If you want to go foraging into the wilds of Canada without proper gear, you deserve what you get, even if that happens to include being attacked by an undead moose. - Mira Grant

When we went into World War II, I was a tractor driver then. I drove tractors on the plantation. So when they start calling people my age, 18, up, I was one they called. - B.B. King

If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack. - Winston Churchill