Redneck NASCAR Astronaut

Flatulent racecar driver approaches takeoff speed



Jet powered scooter rivals NASCAR race - Astronaut Exhaust

QuotaBills
Unsafe at any speed. - Ralph Nader

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

Love. Of course, love. Flames for a year, ashes for 30. - Giuseppi di Lampedusa

Love is friendship set on fire. Hate is friendship burned. - Jeremy Taylor

Keep a little fire burning; however small, however hidden. - Cormac McCarthy

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. - Steven Wright

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

By the time I have money to burn, my fire will have burnt out. - Unknown

When you're over the hill, that's when you pick up speed. - Quincy Jones

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. - Dave Barry

Contentment consisteth not in adding more fuel, but in taking away some fire. - Thomas Fuller

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant. - Mitchell Kapor

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

Success isn't a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire. - Arnold H Glasow

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? - George Carlin

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Yoga is a light, which once lit, will never dim. The better your practice, the brighter the flame. - B.K. Iyengar

Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement. - Golda Mier

You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within. - Bob Nelson

In France we leave unmolested those who set fire to the house, and persecute those who sound the alarm. - Sebastien Chamfort

I am the astronaut of boxing. Joe Louis and Jack Dempsey were just jet pilots. I'm in a world of my own. - Muhammad Ali

The fire of the diamond of true identity is always there; it just needs the Master's crafting to reveal it. - Kenneth G Mills

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

I have a microwave fireplace in my house... The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes. - Steven Wright

I took a course in speed reading. Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm. By the time I got the machine set up, I was done. - Steven Wright

You don't have to say everything to be a light. Sometimes a fire built on a hill will bring interested people to your campfire. - Shannon L. Alder

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

You can tell it's good if you light it and a blue flame comes up; that means it's good moonshine and it won't make you go blind. - Johnny Knoxville

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

Any committee is only as good as the most knowledgeable, determined, and vigorous person on it. There must be somebody who provides the flame. - Lady Bird Johnson

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright

Approach racing like a game of billiards. If you bash the ball too hard, you get nowhere. As you handle the cue properly, you drive with more finesse. - Juan M Fangio


see also   Bad Gas,  Car,  Redneck  &  Space  Sections
Amish Speed Wagon - NASCAR Debut
India’s New Space Program
Liftup Lunch
Redneck Space Shuttle

 

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16-Apr-2021