Boarding Planes in Israel

Exploding sales in airport security


TEL AVIV, Israel - The Israelis are developing an airport security device that eliminates the privacy concerns that come with full-body scanners. It’s an armored booth you step into that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on your person.

Israel sees this as a win-win situation for everyone, with none of this crap about racial profiling. It will also eliminate the costs of long and expensive trials.

You’re in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly thereafter, an announcement:
“Attention to all standby passengers, El Al is pleased to announce a seat available on flight 670 to London. Shalom!”


QuotaBills
Treat the patient, not the X-ray. - James M. Hunter

Wit is an explosion of the compound spirit. - Karl W.F. Schlegel

The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup. - Bob Hope

Hard work is the best remedy for all of life's trials. - Unknown

What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise. - Oscar Wilde

We spend our time searching for security and hate it when we get it. - John Steinbeck

I have a feeling that when my ship comes in I'll be at the airport. - Charles Schulz

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

He prefers the security of known misery to the misery of unfamiliar insecurity. - Sheldon B. Kopp

The gem cannot be polished without friction, not a man perfected without trials. - Chinese Proverb

Security is mostly a superstition. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. - Helen Keller

If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport. - Jonathan Winters

It is true greatness to have in one the frailty of a man and the security of a god. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I wear a fun sock when I travel to give the security staff a well-deserved chuckle. - Chelsea Peretti

We can destroy ourselves by cynicism and disillusion, just as effectively as by bombs. - Kenneth Clark

A man's own good breeding is the best security against other people's ill manners. - Lord Chesterfield

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

This is why I loved technology: if you used it right, it could give you power and privacy. - Cory Doctorow

The longest absence is less perilous to love than the terrible trials of incessant proximity. - Ouida

One has to look out for engineers - they begin with sewing machines and end up with the atomic bomb. - Marcel Pagnol

Hard work is the soundest investment. It provides a neat security for your widow's next husband. - Unknown

I want to die like my father; peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers. - Bob Monkhouse

I realize the tragic significance of the atom bomb. We thank God it has come to us instead of our enemies. - Harry S Truman

I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris

My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw

My parents have been visiting me for a few days. I just dropped them off at the airport. They leave tomorrow. - Margaret Smith

Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping tom to install your window blinds. - John P Barlow

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

If you can't even acknowledge that you have to fix social security, that's not a very good starting point. - Rob Portman

Airport screeners are now scanning holiday fruitcakes. Not even the scanners can tell what those little red things are. - David Letterman

Israel is still the only country in the world against which there is a written document to the effect that it must disappear. - Menachem Begin

Moses took us Israelis forty years through the desert in order to bring us to the one spot in the Middle East that has no oil. - Golda Meir

Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty

The starting line of the New York Marathon is like a giant time bomb behind you about to go off. It is the most spectacular start in sport. - Bill Rodgers

In a world of complex threats, our security and leadership depends on all elements of our power - including strong and principled diplomacy. - Barack Obama

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

Social Security's not the hard one to solve. Medicare, that is the gorilla in the room, and you've got to put all of it on the table. - Joe Biden

A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills. They'd make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while. - Robin Williams

What we lawyers want to do is to substitute courts for carnage, dockets for rockets, briefs for bombs, warrants for warheads, mandates for missiles. - George Rhyne

Sex is like an atom bomb. A potent weapon which fascinates and frightens. We're afraid to let it loose, yet we all have our finger on the button. - Zeena Schreck


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01-Oct-2020