Boarding Planes in Israel

Exploding sales in airport security


TEL AVIV, Israel - The Israelis are developing an airport security device that eliminates the privacy concerns that come with full-body scanners. It’s an armored booth you step into that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on your person.

Israel sees this as a win-win situation for everyone, with none of this crap about racial profiling. It will also eliminate the costs of long and expensive trials.

You’re in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly thereafter, an announcement:
“Attention to all standby passengers, El Al is pleased to announce a seat available on flight 670 to London. Shalom!”


QuotaBills
The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup. - Bob Hope

There is no security in this life. There is only opportunity. - Douglas MacAurthur

The bomb will never go off. I speak as an expert in explosives. - William Leahy

What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise. - Oscar Wilde

We spend our time searching for security and hate it when we get it. - John Steinbeck

He prefers the security of known misery to the misery of unfamiliar insecurity. - Sheldon B. Kopp

The gem cannot be polished without friction, not a man perfected without trials. - Chinese Proverb

It is true greatness to have in one the frailty of a man and the security of a god. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I wear a fun sock when I travel to give the security staff a well-deserved chuckle. - Chelsea Peretti

Real joy seems to me almost as unlike security or prosperity as it is unlike agony. - C S Lewis

We can destroy ourselves by cynicism and disillusion, just as effectively as by bombs. - Kenneth Clark

The guns and the bombs, the rockets and the warships, are all symbols of human failure. - Lyndon B Johnson

A man's own good breeding is the best security against other people's ill manners. - Lord Chesterfield

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

This is why I loved technology: if you used it right, it could give you power and privacy. - Cory Doctorow

The longest absence is less perilous to love than the terrible trials of incessant proximity. - Ouida

Trials function like a fire that burns off every impurity impeding our progress towards holiness. - David Jeremiah

I do not think there is any silver bullet to solving the technology side of the security equation. - John W. Thompson

One has to look out for engineers - they begin with sewing machines and end up with the atomic bomb. - Marcel Pagnol

Hard work is the soundest investment. It provides a neat security for your widow's next husband. - Unknown

I want to die like my father; peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers. - Bob Monkhouse

A poet can write about a man slaying a dragon, but not about a man pushing a button that releases a bomb. - W H Auden

I realize the tragic significance of the atom bomb. We thank God it has come to us instead of our enemies. - Harry S Truman

I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris

My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw

If you don't run to the cross in your messages, your people won't run to the cross in their trials. - Bill Giovannetti

My parents have been visiting me for a few days. I just dropped them off at the airport. They leave tomorrow. - Margaret Smith

Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping tom to install your window blinds. - John P Barlow

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death. - James F. Bymes

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

People confuse amassing money with security, but it is not so. What a pity to confuse real security with making money. - Billy Graham

Airport screeners are now scanning holiday fruitcakes. Not even the scanners can tell what those little red things are. - David Letterman

Israel is still the only country in the world against which there is a written document to the effect that it must disappear. - Menachem Begin

Moses took us Israelis forty years through the desert in order to bring us to the one spot in the Middle East that has no oil. - Golda Meir

My best security is within the munitions of an immutable Jehovah, where His unalterable promises stand like giant walls of rock. - Charles H Spurgeon

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

The starting line of the New York Marathon is like a giant time bomb behind you about to go off. It is the most spectacular start in sport. - Bill Rodgers

In a world of complex threats, our security and leadership depends on all elements of our power - including strong and principled diplomacy. - Barack Obama

The trials in our lives are valuable lessons and those lessons can be used to avoid similar situations in the future or even help someone else. - Neviesh Perry

A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills. They'd make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while. - Robin Williams


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10-Aug-2022