Donald Trump goes on a fact-finding visit to Israel. While he is on a tour of Jerusalem he suffers a heart attack and dies.
The undertaker tells the American Diplomats accompanying him, “You can have him shipped home for $50,000, or you can bury him here, in the Holy Land for just $100.”
The American Diplomats go into a corner and discuss for a few minutes. They come back to the undertaker and tell him they want Donald shipped home.
The undertaker is puzzled and asks, “Why would you spend $50,000 to ship him home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $100?”
The American Diplomats replied, “Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. We just can’t take the risk.”
Don't underestimate her. - Donald Trump
I love Wisconsin. It's a great place. - Donald Trump
Heidi Klum. Sadly, she's no longer a 10. - Donald Trump
The first thing the secretary types is the boss. - Donald Trump
I am very, very proud to say that I am pro-life. - Donald Trump
You haven't been called, go back to Univision. - Donald Trump
The 1990's sure aren't like the 1980's. - Donald Trump
I have a great relationship with the Mexican people. - Donald Trump
Politicians can't manage. All they can do is talk. - Donald Trump
I think he'll be great for the business community. - Donald Trump
I'm a bit of a P. T. Barnum. I make stars out of everyone. - Donald Trump
Sometimes your best investments are the ones you don't make. - Donald Trump
Let's see how Buchanan does and then maybe we'll step in. - Donald Trump
I was a great student at a great school, Wharton School of Finance. - Donald Trump
In life you have to rely on the past, and that's called history. - Donald Trump
You realize just how bad a golfer you are when you play with Freddie. - Donald Trump
I'm worth far too much money. I don't need anybody's money. - Donald Trump
... that I own so much of it and most people thought I would never sell. - Donald Trump
I think there was confusion between Martha's "Apprentice" and mine. - Donald Trump
People love me. And you know what, I have been very successful. Everybody loves me. - Donald Trump
I get called all these horrible names by Lindsey Graham, who I don't even know. - Donald Trump
... raise substantial doubt about the company's ability to continue as a going concern. - Donald Trump
No more massive injections. Tiny children are not horses - one vaccine at a time, over time. - Donald Trump
A lot of people feel very good about Mitt Romney and I think he's going to do a great job. - Donald Trump
see also Government & Relationship Sections
Taking No Chance with the Mother-In-Law
America’s Moment of Truth
Ancient Politician
Bad Hair Trump
Bear Pinata
Donald Tramp
Donald Trump’s Dog
Donald Trump Eagle
Donald Trump Pinata
Donald Trump Quotes
Donald Trump White House
Dusseldorf Carnival Float
Hair We Go
Hillarius Trump
Hurricane Sandy Wreaking Havoc on NYC Landmarks
Mexican Plan to Get Through Trump’s Wall
Queen Donald
The Pope Visits Donald Trump
Trump Ballot Box
Trump Cat
Trump Sandwich
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