Afterlife Life

Fear that there is no heaven


A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. The biggest fear was that there was no heaven.

After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his word, he made contact.

“Mary... Mary....”

“Is that you, Fred?”

“Yes, I’ve come back like we agreed.”

“What’s it like?”

“Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast, I have sex. I bathe in the sun, then I have sex twice. I have lunch, then sex pretty much all afternoon. After supper, I have sex until late at night. The next day it starts again.”

“Oh, Fred you surely must be in heaven.”

“Not exactly. I’m a rabbit in Kansas.”




QuotaBills
Intricate facts of sex - Archie Bunker

Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope

A star on earth - a star in heaven. - Karen Carpenter

Fame is the perfume of heroic deeds. - Socrates

A root is a flower that disdains fame. - Kahlil Gibran

Death ends a life, not a relationship. - Jack Lemmon

Sex is the biggest nothing of all time. - Andy Warhol

In heaven an angel is nobody in particular. - George Bernard Shaw

Heaven never helps the man who will not act. - Sophocles

Sex is good, but not as good as fresh sweet corn. - Garrison Keillor

In heaven all the interesting people are missing. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Treasure your relationships, not your possessions. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads. - Henry David Thoreau

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. - George Burns

A rabbit's foot is a poor substitute for horse sense. - Unknown

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects. - Les Dawson

Extremists think 'communication' means agreeing with them. - Leo Rosten

Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others. - Wayne Dyer

Thank heaven for little girls, for little girls get bigger every day. - Allen Jay Lerner

Old statisticians never die, they are just broken down by age and sex. - Unknown

They say marriages are made in heaven. But so is thunder and lightning. - Clint Eastwood

Find someone who will change your life, not just your relationship status. - Abdul'Rauf Hashmi

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away. - Phyllis Diller

May you be in Heaven a full half hour before the Devil knows you're dead. - Irish Toast

Want to improve your relationships? See love as a verb rather than as a feeling. - Stephen R. Covey

John Wooden was a hall of fame character long before he was a hall of fame coach. - John C Maxwell

Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant. - George Burns

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

All that separates... race, class, creed, or sex, is inhuman, and must be overcome. - Kate Sheppard

Talent is God-given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be thankful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful. - Harvey Mackay

I have a great relationship with the blacks. I've always had a great relationship with the blacks. - Donald Trump

Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you get between the right man and the right woman. - Woody Allen

I'm going to smile, and my smile will sink down into your pupils, and heaven knows what it will become. - Jean-Paul Sartre

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson

I've never sought success in order to get fame and money; it's the talent and the passion that count in success. - Ingrid Bergman

The greatest mistake we humans make in our relationships: we listen half, understand quarter, think zero, and react double. - Unknown

We are in the world to laugh. In purgatory or in hell we shall no longer be able to do so. And in heaven it would not be proper. - Jules Renard

No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit. - Helen Keller

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the Union speeches, there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven. - Will Rogers


see also   Aging, History  &  Trivia  Sections
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Before The Impact
Emotion Stew
Everything Men Know About Women
Hormone Guide
Keyboard Wedding
Men To The Left
My Ex-Wife, The Pilot
Obedient Wife
The Origin of the White Wedding Dress
Understanding Women
Walker Buddies
Wedding Cake for the Submissive Husband
What Did You Just Say?
Winning An Argument With A Woman
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01-Apr-2020