Afterlife Life

Fear that there is no heaven


A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. The biggest fear was that there was no heaven.

After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his word, he made contact.

“Mary... Mary....”

“Is that you, Fred?”

“Yes, I’ve come back like we agreed.”

“What’s it like?”

“Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast, I have sex. I bathe in the sun, then I have sex twice. I have lunch, then sex pretty much all afternoon. After supper, I have sex until late at night. The next day it starts again.”

“Oh, Fred you surely must be in heaven.”

“Not exactly. I’m a rabbit in Kansas.”




QuotaBills
Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

Fame is the thirst of youth. - Lord Byron

Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope

A star on earth - a star in heaven. - Karen Carpenter

A root is a flower that disdains fame. - Kahlil Gibran

Seek not outside yourself, heaven is within. - Mary Lou Cook

Heaven never helps the man who will not act. - Sophocles

Heaven is home. Utopia is here. Nirvana is now. - Edward Abbey

The nameless is the beginning of heaven and earth - Lao-tzu

Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads. - Henry David Thoreau

If you chase two rabbits, you will not catch either one. - Russian Proverb

Fame usually comes to those who are thinking about something else. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all. - Rodney Dangerfield

Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others. - Wayne Dyer

O all you host of heaven! O earth! What else? And shall I couple Hell? - William Shakespeare

Bliss was it in that dawn to be alive, but to be young was very heaven! - William Wordsworth

Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs. - Homer Simpson

They can keep their heaven. When I die, I'd sooner go to Middle Earth. - George R.R. Martin

Sometimes the best communication happens when you're on separate bikes. - Unknown

May you be in Heaven a full half hour before the Devil knows you're dead. - Irish Toast

John Wooden was a hall of fame character long before he was a hall of fame coach. - John C Maxwell

I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality. - Bob Hope

Surfing is the most blissful experience you can have on this planet, a taste of heaven. - John McCarthy

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

What is so real as the cry of a child? A rabbit's cry may be wilder but it has no soul. - Sylvia Plath

During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. - Rodney Dangerfield

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

Talent is God-given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be thankful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful. - Harvey Mackay

Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen. - John Steinbeck

Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you get between the right man and the right woman. - Woody Allen

Socialism only works in two places: Heaven where they don't need it, and Hell where they already have it. - Ronald Reagan

Remember that your best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. - Unknown

Earn all you can,
Spend all you can,
Save all you can,
But for heaven's sake,
Give all you can. - John Wesley

I've never sought success in order to get fame and money; it's the talent and the passion that count in success. - Ingrid Bergman

The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your relationships. The quality of your business is no different. - Harvey Mackay

I think Mick Jagger would be astounded and amazed if he realized that to many people he is not a sex symbol, but a mother image. - David Bowie

It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people. - Axl Rose

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the Union speeches, there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven. - Will Rogers

This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. - Unknown


see also   Aging, History  &  Trivia  Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before The Impact
Emotion Stew
Everything Men Know About Women
Hormone Guide
Keyboard Wedding
Men To The Left
My Ex-Wife, The Pilot
Obedient Wife
The Origin of the White Wedding Dress
Understanding Women
Walker Buddies
Wedding Cake for the Submissive Husband
What Did You Just Say?
Winning An Argument With A Woman
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Balanced Family Life

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Forgettable Fishing Trips

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21-Feb-2020