Afterlife Life

Fear that there is no heaven


A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. The biggest fear was that there was no heaven.

After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his word, he made contact.

“Mary... Mary....”

“Is that you, Fred?”

“Yes, I’ve come back like we agreed.”

“What’s it like?”

“Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast, I have sex. I bathe in the sun, then I have sex twice. I have lunch, then sex pretty much all afternoon. After supper, I have sex until late at night. The next day it starts again.”

“Oh, Fred you surely must be in heaven.”

“Not exactly. I’m a rabbit in Kansas.”




QuotaBills
Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

Hare Brush: Used to groom a rabbit - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Be brave, little rabbit. Take a chance. - Cherise Sinclair

A happy family is but an earlier heaven. - Sir John Bowring

In heaven an angel is nobody in particular. - George Bernard Shaw

Assumptions are the termites of relationships. - Henry Winkler

Better to reign in Hell, than serve in Heaven. - John Milton

Treasure your relationships, not your possessions. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

If you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast. - Woody Allen

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. - Billy Crystal

Sex on television can't hurt you - unless you fall off. - Unknown

Many might go to Heaven with half the labor they go to hell. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Extremists think 'communication' means agreeing with them. - Leo Rosten

Every man is as Heaven made him, and sometimes a great deal worse. - Miguel de Cervantes

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex. - Bill Maher

In Heaven, chocolate has no calories and is served as the main course. - Unknown

Bliss was it in that dawn to be alive, but to be young was very heaven! - William Wordsworth

The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said. - Peter F Drucker

I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away. - Phyllis Diller

Computers are heaven-sent when they work and hell-spawn when they don't. - Dani Harper

Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other. - Erma Bombeck

The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said. - Peter Drucker

"The Sex Lives of A-Borgnines" - is that the actor with all the wives? - Archie Bunker

John Wooden was a hall of fame character long before he was a hall of fame coach. - John C Maxwell

If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blanket back to your side. - Stuart Turner

Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant. - George Burns

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield

The true object of all human life is play. Earth is a task garden; heaven is a playground. - G K Chesterton

Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit. - R.E. Shay

I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic. - Woody Allen

Sex is the mysticism of materialism and the only possible religion in a materialistic society. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Earn all you can,
Spend all you can,
Save all you can,
But for heaven's sake,
Give all you can. - John Wesley

The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your relationships. The quality of your business is no different. - Harvey Mackay

It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people. - Axl Rose

A problem occurs when people want the benefits of a relationship with God without the responsibilities of a relationship with God. - Jim Herring

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the Union speeches, there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven. - Will Rogers

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected. - Carl Sandburg

The other day I dreamed that I was at the gates of heaven.
And Saint Peter said, "Go back to Earth. There are no slums up here." - Mother Teresa

Join voices, all ye living souls: ye birds,
That singing up to heaven-gate ascend,
Bear on your wings and in your notes his praise. - John Milton

Forgiveness is the best form of love in any relationship. It takes a strong person to say they're sorry, and an even stronger person to forgive. - Yolanda Hadid


see also   Aging, History  &  Trivia  Sections
A Woman’s Mind
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Everything Men Know About Women
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Keyboard Wedding
Men To The Left
My Ex-Wife, The Pilot
Obedient Wife
The Origin of the White Wedding Dress
Understanding Women
Walker Buddies
Wedding Cake for the Submissive Husband
What Did You Just Say?
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26-Jun-2022