“Female Speak” Translation

Fine: This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use “fine” to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

Five minutes: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that it’s an even trade.

Go Ahead (with raised eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over “Nothing” and will end with the word “Fine”.

Go Ahead (normal eyebrows): This means “I give up” or “do what you want because I don’t care”. You will get a raised eyebrow “Go Ahead” in just a few minutes, followed by “Nothing” and “Fine” and she will talk to you in about “Five Minutes” when she cools off.

Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing”.

Nothing: This means something and you should be on your toes. “Nothing” is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. “Nothing” usually signifies an argument that will last “Five Minutes” and end with the word “Fine”.

Oh: This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example; “Oh, let me get that”. Or, “Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night”. If she says “Oh” before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is “Fine” when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days. “Oh” as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows “Go ahead” followed by acts so unspeakable that I can’t bring myself to write about them.

Please Do: This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn’t get a “That’s Okay”.

Soft Sigh: Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. “Soft Sighs” are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you’re welcome.

Thanks A Lot: This is much different than “Thanks”. A woman will say, “Thanks A Lot” when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the “Loud Sigh”. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the “Loud Sigh”, as she will only tell you “Nothing.”

That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for what ever it is that you have done. “That’s Okay” is often used with the word “Fine” and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow “Go Ahead”. At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

QuotaBills
I'm a woman who wants her chocolate. - Jessica Simpson

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

Women want love to be a novel. Men, a short story. - Daphne du Maurier

A weeping man and a smiling woman are not to be trusted. - Indian Proverb

A great city is that which has the greatest men and women. - Walt Whitman

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

She's loaded with this, waddya call, women's intermission. - Archie Bunker

There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works. - Will Rogers

Men fall in love with their eyes. Women fall in love with their ears. - Dr. Phil McGraw

Love is what happens to men and women who don’t know each other. - W Somerset Maugham

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man. - Erica Jong

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. - Aristotle Onassis

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

No woman should ever be quite accurate about her age. It looks so calculating. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

Women over thirty are at their best, but men over thirty are too old to recognize it. - Jean-Paul Belmondo

In Hollywood, the women are all peaches. It makes one long for an apple occasionally. - W Somerset Maugham

When once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. - Cher

To my eye, women get sexier around 35. They know a thing or two, and knowledge is always alluring. - Pierce Brosnan

Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. - Rita Rudner

The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me. - George Bernard Shaw

A woman, especially if she has the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can. - Jane Austen

A woman's dress should be like a barbed-wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view. - Sophia Loren

The next woman who gets hold of me is gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars. - Jack Nicholson

No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed. - Godfrey Winn

No matter how plain a woman may be, if truth and honesty are written across her face, she will be beautiful. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Romance is thinking about your significant other, when you are supposed to be thinking about something else. - Nicholas Sparks

Women are the most powerful magnet in the universe. And all men are cheap metal. And we all know where north is. - Larry Miller

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

Our duty, as men and women, is to proceed as if limits to our ability did not exist. We are collaborators in creation. - Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town. - Steve Martin

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin

see also Relationship Section
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
Flower Shop For Men
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

“Female Speak” Translation

Understanding Women 101

29-Mar-2020