“Female Speak” Translation

Understanding Women 101


Fine: This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use “fine” to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

Five minutes: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that it’s an even trade.

Go Ahead (with raised eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over “Nothing” and will end with the word “Fine”.

Go Ahead (normal eyebrows): This means “I give up” or “do what you want because I don’t care”. You will get a raised eyebrow “Go Ahead” in just a few minutes, followed by “Nothing” and “Fine” and she will talk to you in about “Five Minutes” when she cools off.

Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing”.

Nothing: This means something and you should be on your toes. “Nothing” is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. “Nothing” usually signifies an argument that will last “Five Minutes” and end with the word “Fine”.

Oh: This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example; “Oh, let me get that”. Or, “Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night”. If she says “Oh” before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is “Fine” when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days. “Oh” as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows “Go ahead” followed by acts so unspeakable that I can’t bring myself to write about them.

Please Do: This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn’t get a “That’s Okay”.

Soft Sigh: Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. “Soft Sighs” are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you’re welcome.

Thanks A Lot: This is much different than “Thanks”. A woman will say, “Thanks A Lot” when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the “Loud Sigh”. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the “Loud Sigh”, as she will only tell you “Nothing.”

That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for what ever it is that you have done. “That’s Okay” is often used with the word “Fine” and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow “Go Ahead”. At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.



QuotaBills
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

Women's word is never done. - American Proverb

So much work, so few women to do it. - Unknown

There are no ugly women, only lazy ones. - Helena Rubinstein

I was with book, as a woman is with child. - C S Lewis

A woman is as old as she looks before breakfast. - Edgar W Howe

A woman can keep one secret - the secret of her age. - Voltaire

A woman's best protection is a little money of her own. - Clare B Luce

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother. - WC Fields

If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it. - Unknown

Nothing spoils a romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman. - Oscar Wilde

Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another. - H L Mencken

I am a woman meant for a man, but I never found a man who could compete. - Bette Davis

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it. - Evan Esar

An ugly woman is a disease of the stomach; a handsome woman a disease of the head. - Italian Proverb

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

It is easier for a woman to defend her virtue against men than her reputation against women. - French Proverb

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?" - Dumas

My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty. - Woody Allen

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself. - Anais Nin

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes. - Robert Frost

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. - Unknown

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra

There is a direct relationship between a person's grasp and experience of God's grace and his or her heart for justice. - Unknown

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor

I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene

Now I lay facedown on the bed, sobbing for the woman who once slept here not knowing that someday one of her worst fears would come true. - Jennifer Castle

I was just so lucky with 'Real Women Have Curves.' At that point, I would have done an insurance commercial. I would have done anything. - America Ferrera

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. - Helen Rowland


see also   Relationship   Section
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
Flower Shop For Men
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

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24-Jan-2021