![]() Floods and diseases and pestillentaries - Archie Bunker Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer Borscht: Beet soup with high blood pressure - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny Psychoanalysis is the disease it claims to cure. - Karl Kraus Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love. - Hubert H Humphrey Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes. - Richard M Nixon I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield We have to live our lives as if we are dying of a fatal disease. Because we are. - Phineas Narco An ugly woman is a disease of the stomach; a handsome woman a disease of the head. - Italian Proverb Co-Operation: An exchange between a woman and a man in which she coos and he operates - Daffynitions joe-ks.com We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis, but the feeling of being unwanted. - Mother Teresa The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying Disease is war with the laws of our being, and all war, as a great general has said, is hell. - Lewis G. Janes The yoga mat is a good place to turn when talk therapy and antidepressants aren't enough. - Amy Weintraub As it takes two to make a quarrel, so it takes two to make a disease, the microbe and its host. - Charles V. Chapin Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou Some of these people need ten years of therapy - ten sentences of mine do not equal ten years of therapy. - Oscar Wilde I think I have a disease called spontaneous disclosure. I need to tell everyone my life story instantaneously. - Kelly Ripa Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno I welcome him like I welcome cold sores. He's from England, he's angry, and he's got Mad Power Disease. - Paula Abdul The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories. - George Carlin see also Medical Section |
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