Looking tired and disgusted, Shawn went to see his doctor. The doctor could barely contain his surprise when he saw carrots growing from the man’s nostrils.
“My goodness,” the doctor said,“no wonder you’re upset!”
“You’re not kidding,” Shawn said. “I planted tomatoes.”
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken
Good doctors make poor patients. - Unknown
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb
No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez
Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer
Time is a physician that heals every grief. - Diphilus
Keratin: What preserved carrots are sold in - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Fashion saves a lot more lives than doctors. - Bruno Gehard
When fate arrives the physician becomes a fool. - Arabic proverb
False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore
Why do the best doctors have the sickest patients? - Unknown
One should only see a psychiatrist out of boredom. - Muriel Spark
Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates
My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck
Somebody must get the incompetent lawyers and doctors. - George Bernard Shaw
A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb
There is no physician who can cure the disease of love. - African Proverb
If you wish to die young, make your physician your heir. - Romania Proverb
I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman
If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin
A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer
Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing. - Johnny Depp
Jockey: What a dentist uses when you won't open your mouth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier
A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth. - George D. Prentice
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes
Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette
She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. - Groucho Marx
The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett
The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard
There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Ben Williams
Doctors think a lot of patients are cured who have simply quit in disgust. - Don Herold
The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel
Observation, Reason, Human Understanding, Courage; these make the physician. - Martin H. Fischer
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield
When it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain. - Graham Norton
It is said to be the manner of hypochondriacs to change often their physician. - William Cullen
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
He's the best physician that knows the worthlessness of the most medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
Barium: 1. What Doctors do when treatment fails; 2. What you do when CPR fails. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire
I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren
Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham
First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin
No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild
If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman
People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca
If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley
I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan
The latest thing in psychiatry is group therapy. Instead of couches, they use bunk beds. - Henny Youngman
Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. - Laurence J Peter
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce
Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown
My physician has become warden of my medically imprisoned body, pharmaceuticals the bars on my cell. - Grey E. Livingston
To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson
The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. - Rodney Dangerfield
Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather
Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle
Each patient ought to feel somewhat the better after the physician's visit, irrespective of the nature of the illness. - Warfield Theobald Longcope
'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz
I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman
Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw
The art of healing comes from nature, not from the physician. Therefore the physician must start from nature, with an open mind. - Paracelsus
Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp
Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too. - Anton Chekhov
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown
Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles
I'm Irish, so I'm used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I'll call it dinner. - Liam Neeson
I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed. - James Thurber
My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield
A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. And a psychiatrist is a man who collects the rent. - Lord Webb-Johnson
The physician should look upon the patient as a besieged city and try to rescue him with every means that art and science place at his command. - Alexander of Tralles
A physician's physiology has much the same relation to his power of healing as a cleric's divinity has to his power of influencing conduct. - Samuel Butler
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler
I am keeping with tradition today. After I learned of my Golden Globe nomination, I went to the dentist, so today, let's make it the orthodontist. - Frankie Muniz
In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart
Good doctors make poor patients. - Unknown
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb
No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez
Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer
Time is a physician that heals every grief. - Diphilus
Keratin: What preserved carrots are sold in - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Fashion saves a lot more lives than doctors. - Bruno Gehard
When fate arrives the physician becomes a fool. - Arabic proverb
False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore
Why do the best doctors have the sickest patients? - Unknown
One should only see a psychiatrist out of boredom. - Muriel Spark
Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates
My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck
Somebody must get the incompetent lawyers and doctors. - George Bernard Shaw
A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb
There is no physician who can cure the disease of love. - African Proverb
If you wish to die young, make your physician your heir. - Romania Proverb
I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman
If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin
A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer
Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing. - Johnny Depp
Jockey: What a dentist uses when you won't open your mouth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier
A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth. - George D. Prentice
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes
Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette
She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. - Groucho Marx
The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett
The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard
There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Ben Williams
Doctors think a lot of patients are cured who have simply quit in disgust. - Don Herold
The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel
Observation, Reason, Human Understanding, Courage; these make the physician. - Martin H. Fischer
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield
When it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain. - Graham Norton
It is said to be the manner of hypochondriacs to change often their physician. - William Cullen
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
He's the best physician that knows the worthlessness of the most medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
Barium: 1. What Doctors do when treatment fails; 2. What you do when CPR fails. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire
I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren
Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham
First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin
No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild
If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman
People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca
If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley
I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan
The latest thing in psychiatry is group therapy. Instead of couches, they use bunk beds. - Henny Youngman
Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. - Laurence J Peter
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce
Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown
My physician has become warden of my medically imprisoned body, pharmaceuticals the bars on my cell. - Grey E. Livingston
To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson
The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. - Rodney Dangerfield
Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather
Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle
Each patient ought to feel somewhat the better after the physician's visit, irrespective of the nature of the illness. - Warfield Theobald Longcope
'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz
I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman
Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw
The art of healing comes from nature, not from the physician. Therefore the physician must start from nature, with an open mind. - Paracelsus
Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp
Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too. - Anton Chekhov
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown
Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles
I'm Irish, so I'm used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I'll call it dinner. - Liam Neeson
I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed. - James Thurber
My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield
A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. And a psychiatrist is a man who collects the rent. - Lord Webb-Johnson
The physician should look upon the patient as a besieged city and try to rescue him with every means that art and science place at his command. - Alexander of Tralles
A physician's physiology has much the same relation to his power of healing as a cleric's divinity has to his power of influencing conduct. - Samuel Butler
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler
I am keeping with tradition today. After I learned of my Golden Globe nomination, I went to the dentist, so today, let's make it the orthodontist. - Frankie Muniz
In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart
see also Relationship Section
Alternate Uses For Brand Name Products
Cutting Off Board
Duck Tomato
Italian Chef Memorial
Long Noodles
Mexican Jews
Reasons to Stop Dieting
Special Southernisms
Texas Chili Taster
The 1500s
The New Supermarket
Three Tomatoes
Tomato IV
Tomato Sprouts
Tomato Treat
Truly Tasteless Veggie
1-800-PILLCASH
Acceptable Doctors Sign
Alzheimer’s Wing
An Old Man’s Dying Request
Arkansas Cure For Terminal Illness
Birth Control Pill For Men
Car Surgeon
Celebrity Swine Flu Fatality
Chewing Gum Hazard
Chiropractor Mailbox
Coke Dispenser
Colon Celery
Colorectal Exam For Dogs
Colorectal Surgeon Praise
Constipated Mathematician
Diabetes Medication
Do You Have An HMO?
Doctor Stories
Doctor Types
Doctor’s Flat Examination
Doctor’s Hunting Skills
Doctor’s OR Specialty
Dog Proctologist
Dogter
Dreaded Furniture Disease
Ebola Diet
Exhausting Gyne Work
Fart Facts
First Proctologist Exam
Flu Fashion
German Flatulence Control
HMO Judgment Day
Hygiene On The Farm
HAGS Disease
Is Laughter The Best Medicine?
Magnetic Personality
Mechanical Patient
Menopause Sucks
One Wee Scottish Farty
Proctologist Call
Proctologist’s Second-Hand Prescription
Psychiatrist’s Patient Advice
Redneck Flu Shot
Shower Bar
Simple Surgery
Singing Gynecologist
Sons Of Arthritis
Swine Flu Symptoms
Tattoo Implants
Typeface for Doctors
Viagra Overdose
Worst Aid
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06-Jul-2020 |