A little dirt never hurt anyone, just wipe it off.
Act your age.
Always say please and thank you - that way, you get more.
Am I talking to a brick wall?
As long as you live under my roof, you’ll live by my rules.
Big boys don’t cry.
C’mon, you throw like a girl.
Coffee will stunt your growth.
Could those sleeves be any longer?
Didn’t your teacher learn you anything?
Do what I say, not what I do.
Do you think I’m made of money?
Don’t ask me, ask your mother.
Don’t believe anything you hear and only half of what you see.
Don’t give me any of your lip, young lady.
Don’t make me stop the car!
Don’t tell on anybody unless you tell on yourself first.
Don’t use that tone with me!
Don’t worry. It’s only blood.
Don’t you know any normal boys?
Enough is enough!
Get your elbows off the table.
Hey, did you hear me talking to you?
“Hey” is for horses.
I didn’t feel a thing.
I don’t care what other people are doing - I’m not everybody else’s father!
I feel for you, but I can’t reach you from here.
I got my tongue wrapped around my eye-tooth and couldn’t see what I was saying.
I told you, keep your eye on the ball.
If I catch you doing that one more time, I’ll...
If I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.
If you’re gonna be dumb, you’ve gotta be tough.
If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times.
If you forget, you’ll be grounded till the end of the world.
I’ll play catch after I read the paper.
I’ll tell you why. Because I said so. That’s why.
I’m not just talking to hear my own voice!
I’m not sleeping, I was watching that channel.
I’m not watching television. I’m resting my eyes.
It’s hard to be good, and easy to be bad.
Just wait on the corner and another one will come along.
Men are like buses.
No, we’re not there yet.
Now you listen to ME, Buster!
Shake it off. It’s only pain.
Sit up straight!
So you think you’re smart, do you?
This is your last warning.
This will hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.
Turn off those lights.
Two wrongs do not make a right.
We’re not lost. I’m just not sure where we are.
Were you raised in a barn? Close the door.
What did I just get finished telling you?
What do you think I am, a bank?
What keeps those jeans of yours from falling off?
What part of NO don’t you understand?
What will other parents think?
What’s so funny?
When I was your age , I treated MY father with respect.
Who said life was supposed to be fair?
Wipe that smile off your face.
Wipe your feet!
Worrying about things you can’t change is like a rocking chair - it gives you
something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.
You call that a haircut?
You call that noise “music”?
You can marry a rich guy just as easily as you can a poor guy.
You didn’t beat me. I let you win.
You know you’re always gonna be Daddy’s little girl.
You look like a bag lady!
You should visit more often.
You want something to do? I’ll give you something to do.
Young ladies perspire, they do not sweat.
You’re not leaving my house dressed like that!
Your mother worries too much.
A witty saying proves nothing. - Voltaire
Geologists have a saying - rocks remember. - Neil Armstrong
One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters. - George Herbert
Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown
Money no longer talks. It just goes without saying. - George Humphrey
Being a Dad is the greatest, except for assembling things. - Conan O'Brien
Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said. - Mel Brooks
I have enjoyed life a lot more by saying yes than by saying no. - Richard Branson
Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!" - Robin Williams
My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings. - Jay London
The art of leadership is saying no, not yes. It is very easy to say yes. - Tony Blair
Don't talk about a rope in the house of someone whose father was hung. - Colin Farrell
The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli
A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life. - Unknown
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying. - Oscar Wilde
I'm so ugly my father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. - Rodney Dangerfield
One of the most important things a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Ray Chenoweth
That's what Abel was saying when he got it in the back from his own brother with a cane. - Archie Bunker
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be made at me for saying that. - Mitch Hedberg
Don't criticize what you don't understand, son. You never walked in that man's shoes. - Elvis Presley
To say my fate is not tied to your fate is like saying, "Your end of the boat is sinking." - Hugh Downs
There's an old saying about those who forget history. I don't remember it, but it's good. - Stephen Colbert
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. - Mark Twain
I want to die like my father; peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers. - Bob Monkhouse
The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell
One-half the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough. - Josh Billings
It is no use saying, 'We are doing our best.' You have got to succeed in doing what is necessary. - Winston Churchill
By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong. - Charles Wadsworth
Having a positive mental attitude is asking how something can be done rather than saying it can't be done. - Bo Bennett
The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker
There's a saying among prospectors: "Go out looking for one thing and that's all you'll ever find." - Robert J. Flaherty
For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor
God proved His love on the Cross. When Christ hung, and bled, and died, it was God saying to the world, 'I love you.' - Billy Graham
My father instilled in me that if you don't see things happening the way you want them to, you get out there and make them happen. - Susan Powter
When I was nine, my father said 'You can take piano lessons or do karate' - I had a black belt and was competing before I was 19. - Elodie Yung
If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain
How shall a man escape from his ancestors, or draw off from his veins the black drop which he drew from his father’s or mother's life? - Ralph Waldo Emerson
I once said to my father, when I was a boy, 'Dad we need a third political party.' He said to me, 'I'll settle for a second.' - Ralph Nader
I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller
Style is that which indicates how the writer takes himself and what he is saying. It is the mind skating circles around itself as it moves forward. - Robert Frost
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