A little dirt never hurt anyone, just wipe it off.
Act your age.
Always say please and thank you - that way, you get more.
Am I talking to a brick wall?
As long as you live under my roof, you’ll live by my rules.
Big boys don’t cry.
C’mon, you throw like a girl.
Coffee will stunt your growth.
Could those sleeves be any longer?
Didn’t your teacher learn you anything?
Do what I say, not what I do.
Do you think I’m made of money?
Don’t ask me, ask your mother.
Don’t believe anything you hear and only half of what you see.
Don’t give me any of your lip, young lady.
Don’t make me stop the car!
Don’t tell on anybody unless you tell on yourself first.
Don’t use that tone with me!
Don’t worry. It’s only blood.
Don’t you know any normal boys?
Enough is enough!
Get your elbows off the table.
Hey, did you hear me talking to you?
“Hey” is for horses.
I didn’t feel a thing.
I don’t care what other people are doing - I’m not everybody else’s father!
I feel for you, but I can’t reach you from here.
I got my tongue wrapped around my eye-tooth and couldn’t see what I was saying.
I told you, keep your eye on the ball.
If I catch you doing that one more time, I’ll...
If I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.
If you’re gonna be dumb, you’ve gotta be tough.
If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times.
If you forget, you’ll be grounded till the end of the world.
I’ll play catch after I read the paper.
I’ll tell you why. Because I said so. That’s why.
I’m not just talking to hear my own voice!
I’m not sleeping, I was watching that channel.
I’m not watching television. I’m resting my eyes.
It’s hard to be good, and easy to be bad.
Just wait on the corner and another one will come along.
Men are like buses.
No, we’re not there yet.
Now you listen to ME, Buster!
Shake it off. It’s only pain.
Sit up straight!
So you think you’re smart, do you?
This is your last warning.
This will hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.
Turn off those lights.
Two wrongs do not make a right.
We’re not lost. I’m just not sure where we are.
Were you raised in a barn? Close the door.
What did I just get finished telling you?
What do you think I am, a bank?
What keeps those jeans of yours from falling off?
What part of NO don’t you understand?
What will other parents think?
What’s so funny?
When I was your age , I treated MY father with respect.
Who said life was supposed to be fair?
Wipe that smile off your face.
Wipe your feet!
Worrying about things you can’t change is like a rocking chair - it gives you
something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.
You call that a haircut?
You call that noise “music”?
You can marry a rich guy just as easily as you can a poor guy.
You didn’t beat me. I let you win.
You know you’re always gonna be Daddy’s little girl.
You look like a bag lady!
You should visit more often.
You want something to do? I’ll give you something to do.
Young ladies perspire, they do not sweat.
You’re not leaving my house dressed like that!
Your mother worries too much.
He wants his son to follow in his footprints. - Archie Bunker
Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. - Luke 23:24
A proverb is a wise saying, old yet radiant with novelty. - Erasmus
Being a Dad is the greatest, except for assembling things. - Conan O'Brien
My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic. - Spike Milligan
I have enjoyed life a lot more by saying yes than by saying no. - Richard Branson
Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!" - Robin Williams
Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert
My father was grounded, a very meat-and-potatoes man. He was a baker. - Anthony Hopkins
Saying no to something is actually much more powerful than saying yes. - Tom Hanks
The art of leadership is saying no, not yes. It is very easy to say yes. - Tony Blair
Almost every wise saying has an opposite one, no less wise, to balance it. - George Santayana
My heart is happy, my mind is free.
I had a father who talked with me. - Hilde Bigelow
Those who slew my father I drove into exile... and defeated them in battle. - Augustus
A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life. - Unknown
It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father. - Pope John XXIII
For me, there's a kind of absolute power to saying the opposite of what you feel. - Sarah Silverman
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying. - Oscar Wilde
I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son's school overcome a learning disability. - Jason Alexander
My father had a piano that was a nickelodeon - put a nickel, and the roller would play. - Frank Sinatra
I'm so ugly my father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. - Rodney Dangerfield
I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke
I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. - Mark Twain
I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail
Failure is God's way of saying, "Excuse me, you're moving in the wrong direction." - Oprah
There's an old saying about those who forget history. I don't remember it, but it's good. - Stephen Colbert
I want to die like my father; peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers. - Bob Monkhouse
One-half the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough. - Josh Billings
Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless. - Homer Simpson
I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson
There's a saying among prospectors: "Go out looking for one thing and that's all you'll ever find." - Robert J. Flaherty
The first minute we get something beautiful going you got a way of saying things that just, I dunno, breaks the whole spill. - Archie Bunker
For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor
My Dad once said, "you wouldn't worry so much about what people thought of you if you knew how seldom they did." - Dr. Phil McGraw
To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years. - Ernest Hemingway
I was Ashallayn’darkmyr Tallyn, son of Mab, former prince of the Unseelie Court, and I was not afraid of a witch on a broom. - Julie Kagawa
Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true. - Rene Descartes
God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believed in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. - John 3:16
When I was nine, my father said 'You can take piano lessons or do karate' - I had a black belt and was competing before I was 19. - Elodie Yung
It is perfectly monstrous the way people go about nowadays saying things against one, behind one's back, that are absolutely and entirely true. - Oscar Wilde
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