A little dirt never hurt anyone, just wipe it off.
Act your age.
Always say please and thank you - that way, you get more.
Am I talking to a brick wall?
As long as you live under my roof, you’ll live by my rules.
Big boys don’t cry.
C’mon, you throw like a girl.
Coffee will stunt your growth.
Could those sleeves be any longer?
Didn’t your teacher learn you anything?
Do what I say, not what I do.
Do you think I’m made of money?
Don’t ask me, ask your mother.
Don’t believe anything you hear and only half of what you see.
Don’t give me any of your lip, young lady.
Don’t make me stop the car!
Don’t tell on anybody unless you tell on yourself first.
Don’t use that tone with me!
Don’t worry. It’s only blood.
Don’t you know any normal boys?
Enough is enough!
Get your elbows off the table.
Hey, did you hear me talking to you?
“Hey” is for horses.
I didn’t feel a thing.
I don’t care what other people are doing - I’m not everybody else’s father!
I feel for you, but I can’t reach you from here.
I got my tongue wrapped around my eye-tooth and couldn’t see what I was saying.
I told you, keep your eye on the ball.
If I catch you doing that one more time, I’ll...
If I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.
If you’re gonna be dumb, you’ve gotta be tough.
If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times.
If you forget, you’ll be grounded till the end of the world.
I’ll play catch after I read the paper.
I’ll tell you why. Because I said so. That’s why.
I’m not just talking to hear my own voice!
I’m not sleeping, I was watching that channel.
I’m not watching television. I’m resting my eyes.
It’s hard to be good, and easy to be bad.
Just wait on the corner and another one will come along.
Men are like buses.
No, we’re not there yet.
Now you listen to ME, Buster!
Shake it off. It’s only pain.
Sit up straight!
So you think you’re smart, do you?
This is your last warning.
This will hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.
Turn off those lights.
Two wrongs do not make a right.
We’re not lost. I’m just not sure where we are.
Were you raised in a barn? Close the door.
What did I just get finished telling you?
What do you think I am, a bank?
What keeps those jeans of yours from falling off?
What part of NO don’t you understand?
What will other parents think?
What’s so funny?
When I was your age , I treated MY father with respect.
Who said life was supposed to be fair?
Wipe that smile off your face.
Wipe your feet!
Worrying about things you can’t change is like a rocking chair - it gives you
something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.
You call that a haircut?
You call that noise “music”?
You can marry a rich guy just as easily as you can a poor guy.
You didn’t beat me. I let you win.
You know you’re always gonna be Daddy’s little girl.
You look like a bag lady!
You should visit more often.
You want something to do? I’ll give you something to do.
Young ladies perspire, they do not sweat.
You’re not leaving my house dressed like that!
Your mother worries too much.
Dust Rags: Dad's Underwear - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A short saying oft contains much wisdom. - Sophocles
It is a wise father that knows his own child. - William Shakespeare
Buoyant: 1. Male insect; 2. An ant's son. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Love is the silent saying and saying of a single name. - Mignon McLaughlin
Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said. - Mel Brooks
Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much. - Robert Greenleaf
Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!" - Robin Williams
Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! - Lydia Child
Ma-ma does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Da-da first. - Mignon McLaughlin
A picture is worth a thousand words, but try saying that with a picture. - Unknown
They invented hugs to let people know you love them without saying anything. - Bill Keane
No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown
It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father. - Pope John XXIII
For me, there's a kind of absolute power to saying the opposite of what you feel. - Sarah Silverman
No man I ever met was my father's equal, and I never loved any other man as much. - Hedy Lamarr
An almost perfect relationship with his father was the earthly root of all his wisdom. - C S Lewis
My father had a piano that was a nickelodeon - put a nickel, and the roller would play. - Frank Sinatra
Middle Age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature. - Harold Coffin
You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's. - Robert Frost
Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno
Cynics always so no. Saying yes leads to knowledge. So for as long as you have the strength to, say yes. - Stephen Colbert
He made us all one true religion, Edith, which he named after his son, Christian - or Christ, for short. - Archie Bunker
I blend my green drink every morning. I also fix my son a full-on American breakfast with bacon and toast. - Liz Phair
'Healing,' Papa would tell me, 'is not a science, but the intuitive art of wooing nature.' - W H Auden
Graduate School: The place where a young scholar goes off his Dad's payroll - and on to his wife's - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Our oldest son was trying to find himself for about a year. Then one day he got a haircut, and found himself. - Phil Callaway
That he delights in the misery of others no man will confess, and yet what other motive can make a father cruel? - Joseph Addison
What's a good investment? Go home from work early and spend the afternoon throwing a ball around with your son. - Ben Stein
If you find yourself saying, "But I can't speak English...", try adding the word "... yet". - Jane Revell
A father is a life source, a protector, a life coach, a provider, and many more. You are special and indispensable. - Unknown
A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society. - Billy Graham
The quality of a father can be seen in the goals, dreams, and aspirations he sets not only for himself, but for his family. - Reed Markham
Any fool can have a child. That doesn't make you a father. It's the courage to raise a child that makes you a father. - Barack Obama
My Dad once said, "you wouldn't worry so much about what people thought of you if you knew how seldom they did." - Dr. Phil McGraw
My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle
Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad, and that's why I call you dad, because you are so special to me. - Wade Boggs
If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain
I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo
Doing and saying the right thing are not sufficient. Doing the right thing in the right way and with the person's comfort in mind is critical. - Ravi Zacharias
Father’s Day Selfie
I Love Dad
“Must Have” Power Drill
Ways to say “Dad” in Different Languages
Redneck NASCAR Astronaut
Happy Billionaire Halloween
Clean Windows Are Highly Over-rated
Cutting Off Board
Eat Your Dinner!
Pumpkin-Themed Baby Announcement
How To Enjoy Pumpkin Beer