Tendjewberrymud

Translation 101 for anyone traveling to the Far East


[To get the full effect, this should be read aloud. The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review. You will understand what 'tendjewberrymud' means by the end of the conversation...]

Room Service (RS): Morny. Ruin sorbees.
Guest (G): Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.
RS: Rye... Ruin sorbees... morny! Djewish to odor sunteen?
G: Uh... yes... I’d like some bacon and eggs.
RS: Ouw July den?
G: What?
RS: Ouw July den?... pryd, boyd, poochd?
G: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please.
RS: Ouw July dee baychem? Crease?
G: Crisp will be fine.
RS: Hokay. An Sahn toes?
G: What?
RS: An toes. July Sahn toes?
G: I don’t think so.
RS: No? Judo sahn toes?
G: I feel really bad about this, but I don’t know what ’judo sahn toes’ means.
RS: Toes! toes!... Why djew Don Juan toes? Ouw bow Anglish moppin we boter?
G: English muffin! I’ve got it! You were saying ‘Toast.’ Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.
RS: We boter?
G: No... just put the boter on the side.
RS: Wad?
G: I mean butter... just put it on the side.
RS: Copy?
G: Sorry?
RS: Copy... tea... mill?
G: Yes. Coffee, please, and that’s all.
RS: One Minnie. Scram egg, crease baychem, Anglish moppin we boter on sigh and copy.... rye?
G: Whatever you say.
RS: Tendjewberrymud.
G: You’re very welcome.





QuotaBills
A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Poetry is what gets lost in translation. - Robert Frost

I am disappointment in you're grammar. - Unknown

Nothing you can't spell will ever work. - Will Rogers

Discretion in speech is more than eloquence. - Sir Francis Bacon

Good sayings are like pearls strung together. - Chinese Proverb

Speech was given to man to disguise his thoughts. - Charles de Talleyrand

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. - Xenocrates

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech. - Martin Fraquhar Tupper

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way. - Mark Twain

You're not a star until they can spell your name in Karachi. - Humphrey Bogart

Extremists think 'communication' means agreeing with them. - Leo Rosten

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. - Mark Twain

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

Our waking hours form the text of our lives, our dreams, the commentary. - Unknown

The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said. - Peter F Drucker

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

Sometimes the best communication happens when you're on separate bikes. - Unknown

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

The first 40 years of life give us the text; the next 30 supply the commentary. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the first word you thought of. - Burt Bacharach

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect. - Owens L. Pomeroy

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

Grammar: the difference between Feeling Your Nuts and Feeling You're Nuts. - Unknown

Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to. - Unknown

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

He respects Owl, because you can't help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn't spell it right. - A. A. Milne

Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends. - Mary Catherwood

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

Good leaders must communicate vision clearly, creatively and continually. However, the vision doesn't come alive until the leader models it. - John C Maxwell

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Lord Francis Bacon

This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. - Unknown


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25-Jan-2020