Farmer’s Pond Advice for Youngsters

Farmer gives young women something to “pond”er over


The old farmer had a large pond in the back, fixed up nicely with picnic tables, a barbecue pit, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening, the old guy decided to go down to the pond and look it over. He hadn’t been there for a while. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. As he approached, he made the women aware of his presence.

At once, they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave.”

The old man frowned, “I did not come down here to watch you young ladies swim naked, or to make you get out of the pond naked.”

Holding up the bucket, he said, “I’m here to feed the alligator.”

Moral: Old age and treachery will triumph over youth and skill...


QuotaBills
Whatever your advice, make it brief. - Horace

In giving advice I advise you, be short. - Horace

One can give advice comfortably from a safe port. - Johann Von Schiller

A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice. - Edgar Watson Howe

Many receive advice, but only the wise profit from it. - Syrus

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? - George Carlin

The patient has the right to accept your advice or to ignore it. - Martin H. Fischer

There is nothing which we receive with so much reluctance as advice. - Joseph Addison

I'm Southern, so alligator tail is pretty interesting and yummy. - LeAnn Rimes

Gentleman Farmer: One who has more hay in the bank thank in the barn - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison

Don't taunt the alligator until after you've crossed the creek. - Dan Rather

"Be Yourself" is about the worst advice you can give to people. - Mark Twain

The farmer allows walkers across the field for free, but the bull charges. - Unknown

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile - hoping that it will eat him last. - Winston Churchill

Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't. - Erica Jong

The summer movies are coming out! My advice: just stay home and burn a good book. - Stephen Colbert

Advice is seldom welcome; and those who want it the most always like it the least. - Philip Dormer Stanhope (Earl of Chesterfield)

When advice is freely given, the receiver is free to use it as he or she sees fit. - Harvey Mackay

The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself. - Oscar Wilde

Never give advice unless you have walked the walk, because anybody can talk the talk. - Valencia Mackie

Good advice is always certain to be ignored, but that's no reason not to give it. - Agatha Christie

There would be no sense in saying you trusted Jesus if you would not take his advice. - C S Lewis

People advising others often forget that the same advice applies to their life as well. - Anuj Somany

A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends. - Kin Hubbard

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. - Bill Bryson

My advice to myself and to everyone else, particularly young people, is to turn on, tune in and drop out. - Timothy Leary

Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis

Wall Street is the only place that people ride to in a Rolls Royce to get advice from those who take the subway. - Warren Buffett

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

After all, when a stone is dropped into a pond, the water continues quivering even after the stone has sunk to the bottom. - Arthur Golden

The only difference between a pigeon and the American farmer today is that a pigeon can still make a deposit on a John Deere. - Jim Hightower

Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right path, the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands. - Anne Frank

My advice to young wrestlers is that your surroundings really make a difference. You want to put yourself in good, positive surroundings. - Dan Gable

My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate - that's my philosophy. - Thornton Wilder

An expert is somebody who is more than fifty miles from home, has no responsibility for implementing the advice he gives, and shows slides. - Edwin Meese

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz


see also   Crocodile  &  Farm   Sections
3 Frogs
Alligator Molesting
Alligator Path
Aussie Boat Ride
Aussie Winter Crocs
Biking in Florida
Croc Lunge
Croc Surfing
Crocs Shoes
Farmer’s Hole
Florida Sewer Rat
Gator Baiter
Real Crocodile Leather
Redneck Manicure
Reptile Ride

 

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31-May-2020