Farmer’s Pond Advice for Youngsters

Farmer gives young women something to “pond”er over


The old farmer had a large pond in the back, fixed up nicely with picnic tables, a barbecue pit, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening, the old guy decided to go down to the pond and look it over. He hadn’t been there for a while. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. As he approached, he made the women aware of his presence.

At once, they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave.”

The old man frowned, “I did not come down here to watch you young ladies swim naked, or to make you get out of the pond naked.”

Holding up the bucket, he said, “I’m here to feed the alligator.”

Moral: Old age and treachery will triumph over youth and skill...


QuotaBills
Whatever your advice, make it brief. - Horace

I always advise people never to give advice. - P G Wodehouse

Don't give advice unless you're asked. - Amy Alcott

Generosity gives assistance, rather than advice. - Marquis de Vauvenargues

One can give advice comfortably from a safe port. - Johann Von Schiller

See you later, alligator. After a while, crocodile. - Bill Haley

A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice. - Edgar Watson Howe

Many receive advice, but only the wise profit from it. - Syrus

A consultant is an ordinary man away from home giving advice. - Oscar Wilde

There is nothing which we receive with so much reluctance as advice. - Joseph Addison

Gentleman Farmer: One who has more hay in the bank thank in the barn - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Advice is like kissing: it costs nothing and is a pleasant thing to do. - H.W. Shaw

Never worry about criticism from people you would never take advice from. - Unknown

The farmer allows walkers across the field for free, but the bull charges. - Unknown

Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take. - Josh Billings

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't. - Erica Jong

The summer movies are coming out! My advice: just stay home and burn a good book. - Stephen Colbert

Advice is seldom welcome; and those who want it the most always like it the least. - Philip Dormer Stanhope (Earl of Chesterfield)

When advice is freely given, the receiver is free to use it as he or she sees fit. - Harvey Mackay

My first advice on how not to grow old would be to choose your ancestors carefully. - Bertrand Russell

Advice from your friends is like the weather, some of it is good, some of it is bad. - Unknown

God made Adam first because he didn't want any advice from Eve how to make Adam. - Unknown

Abundance: 1. Big party held in a bakery; 2. A social event held in a farm building. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never give advice unless you have walked the walk, because anybody can talk the talk. - Valencia Mackie

I spent most of my 20s with these alligator wrestlers in the swamps of South Florida. - Karen Russell

People advising others often forget that the same advice applies to their life as well. - Anuj Somany

A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends. - Kin Hubbard

Life on a farm is a school of patience. You can't hurry the crops or make an ox in two days. - Haneri Liogier

If the rain spoils our picnic, but saves a farmer's crop, who are we to say it shouldn't rain? - Tom Barrett

The best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it. - Harry S Truman

My advice to myself and to everyone else, particularly young people, is to turn on, tune in and drop out. - Timothy Leary

Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis

Wall Street is the only place that people ride to in a Rolls Royce to get advice from those who take the subway. - Warren Buffett

When a man won't listen to his conscience, it's usually because he doesn't want advice from a total stranger. - Lindsey Stewart

Everyone has their preferred stroller, their preferred crib, their preferred Moses basket. And they have advice on that too! - Tori Spelling

Here's good advice for practice: go into partnership with nature; she does more than half the work and asks none of the fee. - Martin H. Fischer

An expert is somebody who is more than fifty miles from home, has no responsibility for implementing the advice he gives, and shows slides. - Edwin Meese

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown


see also   Crocodile  &  Farm   Sections
3 Frogs
Alligator Molesting
Alligator Path
Aussie Boat Ride
Aussie Winter Crocs
Biking in Florida
Croc Lunge
Croc Surfing
Crocs Shoes
Farmer’s Hole
Florida Sewer Rat
Gator Baiter
Real Crocodile Leather
Redneck Manicure
Reptile Ride

 

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18-Jan-2022