Farmer’s Pond Advice for Youngsters

Farmer gives young women something to “pond”er over


The old farmer had a large pond in the back, fixed up nicely with picnic tables, a barbecue pit, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening, the old guy decided to go down to the pond and look it over. He hadn’t been there for a while. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. As he approached, he made the women aware of his presence.

At once, they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave.”

The old man frowned, “I did not come down here to watch you young ladies swim naked, or to make you get out of the pond naked.”

Holding up the bucket, he said, “I’m here to feed the alligator.”

Moral: Old age and treachery will triumph over youth and skill...


QuotaBills
The worst men often give the best advice. - Francis Bacon

I always advise people never to give advice. - P G Wodehouse

Don't give advice unless you're asked. - Amy Alcott

One can give advice comfortably from a safe port. - Johann Von Schiller

Wise men don't need advice. Fools don't take it. - Benjamin Franklin

Farm: What a city man dreams of at 5 P.M., never at 5 A.M. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

No farmer ever plowed a field by turning it over in his mind. - George E. Woodbury

There is nothing which we receive with so much reluctance as advice. - Joseph Addison

Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, farm boy. - Han Solo

I'm Southern, so alligator tail is pretty interesting and yummy. - LeAnn Rimes

Don't taunt the alligator until after you've crossed the creek. - Dan Rather

Some quick advice for success in life: Don't be afraid, be amazing. - Cuthbert Soup

Never worry about criticism from people you would never take advice from. - Unknown

The farmer allows walkers across the field for free, but the bull charges. - Unknown

Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take. - Josh Billings

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile - hoping that it will eat him last. - Winston Churchill

Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't. - Erica Jong

Advice is seldom welcome; and those who want it the most always like it the least. - Philip Dormer Stanhope (Earl of Chesterfield)

Every father should remember one day his son will follow his example, not his advice. - Charles Kettering

People advising others often forget that the same advice applies to their life as well. - Anuj Somany

A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends. - Kin Hubbard

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

If a farmer fills his barn with grain, he gets mice; if he leaves it empty, he gets actors. - Bill Vaughan

Life on a farm is a school of patience. You can't hurry the crops or make an ox in two days. - Haneri Liogier

The first farmer was the first man, and all historic nobility rests on possession and use of land. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot. - Phyllis Diller

My advice to myself and to everyone else, particularly young people, is to turn on, tune in and drop out. - Timothy Leary

"Quit now, you'll never make it." If you disregard this advice, you'll be halfway there. - David Zucker

Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis

Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else; this is not a piece of advice, it is merely a custom. - Mark Twain

When a man won't listen to his conscience, it's usually because he doesn't want advice from a total stranger. - Lindsey Stewart

After all, when a stone is dropped into a pond, the water continues quivering even after the stone has sunk to the bottom. - Arthur Golden

The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about. - Evan Esar

My advice to young wrestlers is that your surroundings really make a difference. You want to put yourself in good, positive surroundings. - Dan Gable

My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate - that's my philosophy. - Thornton Wilder

An expert is somebody who is more than fifty miles from home, has no responsibility for implementing the advice he gives, and shows slides. - Edwin Meese

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown


see also   Crocodile  &  Farm   Sections
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Alligator Molesting
Alligator Path
Aussie Boat Ride
Aussie Winter Crocs
Biking in Florida
Croc Lunge
Croc Surfing
Crocs Shoes
Farmer’s Hole
Florida Sewer Rat
Gator Baiter
Real Crocodile Leather
Redneck Manicure
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22-Jan-2021