Farmer’s Pond Advice for Youngsters

Farmer gives young women something to “pond”er over


The old farmer had a large pond in the back, fixed up nicely with picnic tables, a barbecue pit, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening, the old guy decided to go down to the pond and look it over. He hadn’t been there for a while. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. As he approached, he made the women aware of his presence.

At once, they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave.”

The old man frowned, “I did not come down here to watch you young ladies swim naked, or to make you get out of the pond naked.”

Holding up the bucket, he said, “I’m here to feed the alligator.”

Moral: Old age and treachery will triumph over youth and skill...


QuotaBills
Organic Farm: Tilling like it is - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I always advise people never to give advice. - P G Wodehouse

Never trust the advice of a man in difficulties. - Aesop

One can give advice comfortably from a safe port. - Johann Von Schiller

Many receive advice, but only the wise profit from it. - Syrus

A good farm is recognized as good partly by its beauty. - Wendell Berry

Wise men don't need advice. Fools don't take it. - Benjamin Franklin

Farm: What a city man dreams of at 5 P.M., never at 5 A.M. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice. - Unknown

The patient has the right to accept your advice or to ignore it. - Martin H. Fischer

I'm Southern, so alligator tail is pretty interesting and yummy. - LeAnn Rimes

Gentleman Farmer: One who has more hay in the bank thank in the barn - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer. - Will Rodgers

"Be Yourself" is about the worst advice you can give to people. - Mark Twain

The farmer allows walkers across the field for free, but the bull charges. - Unknown

A good farmer is nothing more nor less than a handyman with a sense of humus. - E.B. White

Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem

Advice is seldom welcome; and those who want it the most always like it the least. - Philip Dormer Stanhope (Earl of Chesterfield)

Advice from your friends is like the weather, some of it is good, some of it is bad. - Unknown

God made Adam first because he didn't want any advice from Eve how to make Adam. - Unknown

Never give advice unless you have walked the walk, because anybody can talk the talk. - Valencia Mackie

There would be no sense in saying you trusted Jesus if you would not take his advice. - C S Lewis

A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends. - Kin Hubbard

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

If a farmer fills his barn with grain, he gets mice; if he leaves it empty, he gets actors. - Bill Vaughan

He is bad that will not take advice, but he is a thousand times worse that takes every advice. - Unknown

The first farmer was the first man, and all historic nobility rests on possession and use of land. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is only the farmer who faithfully plants seeds in the Spring, who reaps a harvest in the Autumn. - B C Forbes

You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot. - Phyllis Diller

If the rain spoils our picnic, but saves a farmer's crop, who are we to say it shouldn't rain? - Tom Barrett

My advice to myself and to everyone else, particularly young people, is to turn on, tune in and drop out. - Timothy Leary

I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis

After all, when a stone is dropped into a pond, the water continues quivering even after the stone has sunk to the bottom. - Arthur Golden

My advice to young wrestlers is that your surroundings really make a difference. You want to put yourself in good, positive surroundings. - Dan Gable

An expert is somebody who is more than fifty miles from home, has no responsibility for implementing the advice he gives, and shows slides. - Edwin Meese

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown


see also   Crocodile  &  Farm   Sections
3 Frogs
Alligator Molesting
Alligator Path
Aussie Boat Ride
Aussie Winter Crocs
Biking in Florida
Croc Lunge
Croc Surfing
Crocs Shoes
Farmer’s Hole
Florida Sewer Rat
Gator Baiter
Real Crocodile Leather
Redneck Manicure
Reptile Ride

 

Dog Laundry - Hung Out To Dry

Ahead Of You

Only in Montana

Paper Lunge

FireFox vs. Windows

'Pick Your Nose' Cup

Playing Mantis

XL Cup of Tea

Dogue

Geek Gravestone

Split Personality

Wine Day

Smirnoff Women

Front Bum

Wine Wheels
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

01-Oct-2020