Farmer’s Pond Advice for Youngsters

Farmer gives young women something to “pond”er over


The old farmer had a large pond in the back, fixed up nicely with picnic tables, a barbecue pit, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening, the old guy decided to go down to the pond and look it over. He hadn’t been there for a while. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. As he approached, he made the women aware of his presence.

At once, they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave.”

The old man frowned, “I did not come down here to watch you young ladies swim naked, or to make you get out of the pond naked.”

Holding up the bucket, he said, “I’m here to feed the alligator.”

Moral: Old age and treachery will triumph over youth and skill...


QuotaBills
Whatever your advice, make it brief. - Horace

The worst men often give the best advice. - Francis Bacon

One can give advice comfortably from a safe port. - Johann Von Schiller

Many receive advice, but only the wise profit from it. - Syrus

A good farm is recognized as good partly by its beauty. - Wendell Berry

Wise men don't need advice. Fools don't take it. - Benjamin Franklin

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? - George Carlin

Advice is like mushrooms. The wrong kind can prove fatal. - Charles E McKenzie

Farm: What a city man dreams of at 5 P.M., never at 5 A.M. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

No farmer ever plowed a field by turning it over in his mind. - George E. Woodbury

Biplane: The advice I got from my mother on purchasing underwear. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm Southern, so alligator tail is pretty interesting and yummy. - LeAnn Rimes

Gentleman Farmer: One who has more hay in the bank thank in the barn - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Don't taunt the alligator until after you've crossed the creek. - Dan Rather

"Be Yourself" is about the worst advice you can give to people. - Mark Twain

The farmer allows walkers across the field for free, but the bull charges. - Unknown

Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take. - Josh Billings

A good farmer is nothing more nor less than a handyman with a sense of humus. - E.B. White

Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

When advice is freely given, the receiver is free to use it as he or she sees fit. - Harvey Mackay

The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself. - Oscar Wilde

God made Adam first because he didn't want any advice from Eve how to make Adam. - Unknown

Abundance: 1. Big party held in a bakery; 2. A social event held in a farm building. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I spent most of my 20s with these alligator wrestlers in the swamps of South Florida. - Karen Russell

There would be no sense in saying you trusted Jesus if you would not take his advice. - C S Lewis

Every father should remember one day his son will follow his example, not his advice. - Charles Kettering

People advising others often forget that the same advice applies to their life as well. - Anuj Somany

Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it. - Gordon R. Dickson

Don't ever give anybody your best advice, because they're not going to follow it. - Jack Nicholson

It is only the farmer who faithfully plants seeds in the Spring, who reaps a harvest in the Autumn. - B C Forbes

If the rain spoils our picnic, but saves a farmer's crop, who are we to say it shouldn't rain? - Tom Barrett

The best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it. - Harry S Truman

My advice to myself and to everyone else, particularly young people, is to turn on, tune in and drop out. - Timothy Leary

"Quit now, you'll never make it." If you disregard this advice, you'll be halfway there. - David Zucker

Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Wall Street is the only place that people ride to in a Rolls Royce to get advice from those who take the subway. - Warren Buffett

When a man won't listen to his conscience, it's usually because he doesn't want advice from a total stranger. - Lindsey Stewart

Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right path, the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands. - Anne Frank

My advice to young wrestlers is that your surroundings really make a difference. You want to put yourself in good, positive surroundings. - Dan Gable

An expert is somebody who is more than fifty miles from home, has no responsibility for implementing the advice he gives, and shows slides. - Edwin Meese


see also   Crocodile  &  Farm   Sections
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Alligator Molesting
Alligator Path
Aussie Boat Ride
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Biking in Florida
Croc Lunge
Croc Surfing
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Real Crocodile Leather
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17-Oct-2021