Farmer’s Pond Advice for Youngsters

Farmer gives young women something to “pond”er over


The old farmer had a large pond in the back, fixed up nicely with picnic tables, a barbecue pit, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening, the old guy decided to go down to the pond and look it over. He hadn’t been there for a while. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. As he approached, he made the women aware of his presence.

At once, they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave.”

The old man frowned, “I did not come down here to watch you young ladies swim naked, or to make you get out of the pond naked.”

Holding up the bucket, he said, “I’m here to feed the alligator.”

Moral: Old age and treachery will triumph over youth and skill...


QuotaBills
Organic Farm: Tilling like it is - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never trust the advice of a man in difficulties. - Aesop

See you later, alligator. After a while, crocodile. - Bill Haley

A good farm is recognized as good partly by its beauty. - Wendell Berry

Free Advice: The kind that costs you nothing unless you act upon it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm Southern, so alligator tail is pretty interesting and yummy. - LeAnn Rimes

Gentleman Farmer: One who has more hay in the bank thank in the barn - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison

The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer. - Will Rodgers

The best way to succeed in life is to act on the advice you give others. - Amish Saying

The farmer allows walkers across the field for free, but the bull charges. - Unknown

Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take. - Josh Billings

A good farmer is nothing more nor less than a handyman with a sense of humus. - E.B. White

Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

The summer movies are coming out! My advice: just stay home and burn a good book. - Stephen Colbert

Advice is seldom welcome; and those who want it the most always like it the least. - Philip Dormer Stanhope (Earl of Chesterfield)

My advice would be if you want to pursue a career in the music business, don't. - Simon Cowell

The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself. - Oscar Wilde

Advice from your friends is like the weather, some of it is good, some of it is bad. - Unknown

Never give advice unless you have walked the walk, because anybody can talk the talk. - Valencia Mackie

I spent most of my 20s with these alligator wrestlers in the swamps of South Florida. - Karen Russell

There would be no sense in saying you trusted Jesus if you would not take his advice. - C S Lewis

Every father should remember one day his son will follow his example, not his advice. - Charles Kettering

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice. - Bill Cosby

People advising others often forget that the same advice applies to their life as well. - Anuj Somany

A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends. - Kin Hubbard

Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it. - Gordon R. Dickson

Don't ever give anybody your best advice, because they're not going to follow it. - Jack Nicholson

The first farmer was the first man, and all historic nobility rests on possession and use of land. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

If the rain spoils our picnic, but saves a farmer's crop, who are we to say it shouldn't rain? - Tom Barrett

"Quit now, you'll never make it." If you disregard this advice, you'll be halfway there. - David Zucker

I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis

Everyone has their preferred stroller, their preferred crib, their preferred Moses basket. And they have advice on that too! - Tori Spelling

The only difference between a pigeon and the American farmer today is that a pigeon can still make a deposit on a John Deere. - Jim Hightower

Here's good advice for practice: go into partnership with nature; she does more than half the work and asks none of the fee. - Martin H. Fischer

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right path, the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands. - Anne Frank

My advice to young wrestlers is that your surroundings really make a difference. You want to put yourself in good, positive surroundings. - Dan Gable

My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate - that's my philosophy. - Thornton Wilder

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz


see also   Crocodile  &  Farm   Sections
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07-Jul-2022