Women’s Cellphone

Women should be obscene and not heard. - Groucho Marx

When women go wrong, men go right after them. - Mae West

I think Queen Elizabeth II is a charming woman. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Once made equal to man, woman becomes his superior. - Socrates

Jade: A semi-precious stone or a semi-precious woman - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

I hate women because they always know where things are. - Voltaire

I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman. - Jack Nicholson

A great city is that which has the greatest men and women. - Walt Whitman

I like women, I don't understand them, but I like them. - Sean Connery

My first day as a woman and I am already having hot flushes. - Robin Williams

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

Amazing women don't have hot flashes. We have power surges. - Unknown

There is no force more powerful than a woman determined to rise. - Unknown

If it’s the Psychic Network, why do they need a phone number? - Robin Williams

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

I love men, not because they are men, but because they are not women. - Queen Christina of Sweden

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands. - H L Mencken

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him. - Groucho Marx

She knew what all smart women knew: Laughter made you live better and longer. - Gail Parent

Menopause is our chance to say, "I am woman - open a freaking window." - Unknown

If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blanket back to your side. - Stuart Turner

Women over thirty are at their best, but men over thirty are too old to recognize it. - Jean-Paul Belmondo

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson

A woman's heart should be so close to God that a man should have to chase Him to find her. - C S Lewis

You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you. - Groucho Marx

Some old women and men grow bitter with age. The more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. - George D. Prentice

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with the word 'Guess' on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?" - Arnold Schwarzenegger

I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everything. - Oscar Wilde

I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick. - Sarah Palin

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong? - George Carlin

I think being a woman is like being Irish. Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the same. - Iris Murdoch

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

I believe there's an Almighty, and I believe the Almighty's great gift to each man and woman in this world is the desire to be free. - George W Bush

A woman with confidence is hypnotic. A smile is mesmerizing. Presence, openness, a sense of humor - these are all things that make a woman attractive. - Jessica Ortner