Women’s Cellphone

Woman was God's second mistake. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

I married beneath me. All women do. - Lady Nancy Astor

Well-behaved women seldom make history. - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone. - W H Auden

A man thinks he knows, but a woman knows better. - Indian Proverb

Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood. - Oscar Wilde

A woman can keep one secret - the secret of her age. - Voltaire

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it. - George Carlin

He has a woman's name and wears makeup. How original. - Alice Cooper

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce. - Mark Twain

A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. - Woodrow Wyatt

Amazing women don't have hot flashes. We have power surges. - Unknown

Honesty is probably the sexiest thing a man can give to a woman. - Debra Messing

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age. - George Burns

If it’s the Psychic Network, why do they need a phone number? - Robin Williams

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. - Unknown

Every woman dreams of her own political career and her own place in life. - Raisa M. Gorbachev

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him. - Groucho Marx

A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea. - Honore de Balzac

The testimony of a woman has only half the value of the testimony of a man. - Iranian Penal Code

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

The most beautiful makeup for a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy. - Yves St. Laurent

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. - Oscar Wilde

You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, which doesn't say much for you. - Groucho Marx

One of the few articles of clothing that a man won't try to remove from a woman is an apron. - Marilyn Vos Savant

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied. - Oscar Wilde

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. - Rita Rudner

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my face.
That's the price she has to pay. - Groucho Marx

A woman's dress should be like a barbed-wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view. - Sophia Loren

The next woman who gets hold of me is gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars. - Jack Nicholson

No woman is worth more than a fiver unless you're in love with her. Then she is worth all she costs you. - W Somerset Maugham

All of the women on 'The Apprentice' flirted with me - consciously or unconsciously. That's to be expected. - Donald Trump

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner