Atheist Holiday

U.S. court case sets new Atheist Holiday


In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation of Easter and Passover holidays. He decided to contact his lawyer about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while atheists had no holiday to celebrate.

The case was brought before a wise judge. After listening to the long passionate presentation by the lawyer, the Judge banged his gavel and declared, “Case Dismissed.”

The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said, “Your Honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? Christians have Christmas, Easter and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah... yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays.”

The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, “Obviously your client is too confused to even know about, much less celebrate, his own atheists’ holiday!”

The lawyer pompously said, “Your Honor, we are unaware of any such holiday for atheists. Just when might that holiday be, your Honor?”

The judge said, “Well it comes every year on exactly the same date... April 1st. Since our calendar sets April 1st as “April Fools Day,” consider Psalm 14:1 and Psalm 53 which state, “The fool says in his heart, there is no God.” Thus, in my opinion, if your client says there is no God, then by scripture he is a fool, thus April 1st is his holiday!”


Inner peace achieved through forgiveness - letting go of the past,
and drinking to the future ...

QuotaBills
Criminal Lawer: A redundancy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope

Justice delayed is justice denied. - William Gladstone

Don't judge a cat by its coat. - Magdalena VandenBerg

A fool and his money are soon parted. - English Proverb

All children are essentially criminal. - Denis Diderot

A fool and her money are soon courted. - Helen Rowland

Don't judge folks by their relatives. - Unknown

Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them. - Samuel Palmer

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish. - Euripides

Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker

The wise person questions himself, the fool others. - Henri Arnold

The police are recruited from the criminal classes. - Gore Vidal

The law must be stable, but it must not stand still. - Roscoe Pound

A learned fool is more foolish than an ignorant one. - Moliere

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries

To the wise, life is a problem; to the fool, a solution. - Marcus Aurelius

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw

Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect. - Unknown

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

It should be possible to explain the laws of physics to a barmaid. - Albert Einstein

Don't judge someone just because they sin differently than you. - Unknown

Do not judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins. - Native American Proverb

Books should be tried by a judge and jury as though they were crimes. - Samuel Butler

The misfortune of the wise is better than the prosperity of the fool. - Epicurus

We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. - Jim Elliot

Fortune, seeing that she could not make fools wise, has made them lucky. - Michel de Montaigne

True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people together. - Unknown

The duty of a judge is to administer justice, but his practice is to delay it. - Jean de la Bruyere

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey, he is obligated to do so. - Thomas Jefferson

A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost

A criminal remains a criminal whether he uses a convict's suit or a monarch's crown. - Victor Hugo

A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. - Agatha Christie

It never hurts a fool to appear before an audience, for his capacity is not a capacity for feeling. - Dale Breckenridge Carnegie

He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but don't let that fool you, he really is an idiot. - Groucho Marx

In a litigation-happy society, clear agreements often prevent small disagreements form becoming big ones. - Harvey Mackay

I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan

Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. - Oscar Wilde

This hour we are stretching forth our hands with the desire to teach the world the true principles of mercy and justice. - Marcus Garvey

When the monetary damages are smaller, lawyers will find themselves less zealous in their pursuit of what they call justice. - Dean O'Hare

A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. - John F Kennedy

Bakinmyday: A law passed in the early 1900s that made it mandatory to build all schools at least 15 miles from all future grandfathers - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

As a rule man is a fool,
When it's hot he wants it cool,
When it's cool he wants it hot,
Always wanting what is not. - Unknown

A lawyer's performance in the courtroom is responsible for about 25 percent of the outcome; the remaining 75 percent depends on the facts. - Melvin Belli

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright

When you have police officers who abuse citizens, you erode public confidence in law enforcement. That makes the job of good police officers unsafe. - Mary F Berry


see also   Lawyer  &  Religious  Sections
Atheist Nativity Scene
Bible Reference - Emergency Contact Numbers
Center Of The Bible
God’s Little Instructions
Psalm 23
Justice Is Blind
Legal Assistance For All
Legal Exhibit
Psalm 109
Psalm 129
Psalm 404
Youth Pastor’s Last Speech

 

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23-Oct-2021