In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation of Easter and Passover holidays. He decided to contact his lawyer about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the
constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while atheists had no holiday to celebrate.
The case was brought before a wise judge. After listening to the long passionate presentation by the lawyer, the Judge banged his gavel and declared, “Case Dismissed.”
The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said, “Your Honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? Christians have Christmas, Easter and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah... yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays.”
The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, “Obviously your client is too confused to even know about, much less celebrate, his own atheists’ holiday!”
The lawyer pompously said, “Your Honor, we are unaware of any such holiday for atheists. Just when might that holiday be, your Honor?”
The judge said, “Well it comes every year on exactly the same date... April 1st. Since our calendar sets April 1st as “April Fools Day,” consider Psalm 14:1 and Psalm 53 which state, “The fool says in his heart, there is no God.” Thus, in my opinion, if your client says there is no God, then by scripture he is a fool, thus April 1st is his holiday!”
and drinking to the future ...
Judge me when you are perfect. - Unknown
Lose your cool - play the fool. - W. Andrew Welker
Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers
A flagrant violation of international law. - Unknown
What do you call a lawyer gone bad? Senator. - Marvin Lebman
Where there's a will there's a lawsuit. - Addison Mizner
Tomorrow is only found in the calendar of fools. - Og Mandino
The wise person questions himself, the fool others. - Henri Arnold
The police are recruited from the criminal classes. - Gore Vidal
The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - William Shakespeare
A fox should not be on the jury at a goose's trial. - Thomas Fuller
The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws. - Tacitus
The power of the lawyer is in the uncertainty of the law. - Jeremy Bentham
Canada is the homeland of equality, justice and tolerance. - Kim Campbell
Who is more foolish? The fool or the fool who follows him? - Obi Wan Kenobi
I've never been in love. I've always been a lawyer. - Unknown
People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus
Do not judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins. - Native American Proverb
He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. - Jim Elliot
A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions. - Wilson Mizner
I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman
Time is money, especially when you're talking to a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe-kster
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. - Ernest Hemingway
The four absolutes we all have in our minds: love, justice, evil, and forgiveness. - Ravi Zacharias
To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt. - Elizabeth C Stanton
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him. - Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall
Lawyers are like rhinoceroses: thick skinned, short-sighted, and always ready to charge. - David Mellor
What right does Congress have to go around making laws just because they deem it necessary? - Marion Barry
Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere
Law enforcement cannot succeed without the sustained, and informed, interest of all citizens. - Lyndon B Johnson
As to lawyers, their profession is supported by the indiscriminate defense of right and wrong. - Junius
The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools. - Herbert Spencer
Zymurgy’s Law of Volunteer Labour: People are always available for work in the past tense - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
It never hurts a fool to appear before an audience, for his capacity is not a capacity for feeling. - Dale Breckenridge Carnegie
We lawyers learn to study the faces of our witnesses, to form quick judgments, and to act upon them. - Lyman Abbott
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters. - Frank Lloyd Wright
There's a lot of fake people in the world, but before you judge them, make sure you're not one of them. - Unknown
I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry
Some lawyers are like unto the camel, which, before drinking out of a brook, maketh the water turbid with his foot. - Adolphus W Ward
A diamond was laying in the street covered with dirt. Many fools passed by. Someone who knew diamonds picked it up. - Kabir
Knowledge is a deadly friend when no one sets the rules;
The fate of all mankind I see is in the hand of fools. - King Crimson
Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe
The greatest advantage I know of being thought a wit by the world is that it gives one the greater freedom of playing the fool. - Jonathan Swift
Laws are like spiders' webs which, if anything small falls into them they ensnare it, but large things break through and escape. - Solon
A judge who likes every outcome he reaches is very likely a bad judge, stretching for results he prefers rather than those the law demands. - Neil Gorsuch
A lawyer's performance in the courtroom is responsible for about 25 percent of the outcome; the remaining 75 percent depends on the facts. - Melvin Belli
Most people ask questions because they want to know the answer; lawyers are trained never to ask questions unless they already know the answer. - Lani Guinier
Music is amoral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything. - Plato
see also Lawyer & Religious Sections
Atheist Nativity Scene
Bible Reference - Emergency Contact Numbers
Center Of The Bible
God’s Little Instructions
Psalm 23
Justice Is Blind
Legal Assistance For All
Legal Exhibit
Psalm 109
Psalm 129
Psalm 404
Youth Pastor’s Last Speech
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21-Jan-2021 |