Atheist Holiday

U.S. court case sets new Atheist Holiday


In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation of Easter and Passover holidays. He decided to contact his lawyer about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while atheists had no holiday to celebrate.

The case was brought before a wise judge. After listening to the long passionate presentation by the lawyer, the Judge banged his gavel and declared, “Case Dismissed.”

The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said, “Your Honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? Christians have Christmas, Easter and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah... yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays.”

The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, “Obviously your client is too confused to even know about, much less celebrate, his own atheists’ holiday!”

The lawyer pompously said, “Your Honor, we are unaware of any such holiday for atheists. Just when might that holiday be, your Honor?”

The judge said, “Well it comes every year on exactly the same date... April 1st. Since our calendar sets April 1st as “April Fools Day,” consider Psalm 14:1 and Psalm 53 which state, “The fool says in his heart, there is no God.” Thus, in my opinion, if your client says there is no God, then by scripture he is a fool, thus April 1st is his holiday!”


Inner peace achieved through forgiveness - letting go of the past,
and drinking to the future ...

QuotaBills
Only a fool knows everything. - Maasai Proverb

Agree, for the law is costly. - William Camden

Common sense often makes good law. - William O Douglas

A fool and his money are soon parted. - English Proverb

OK, if you can get an indepartial judge. - Archie Bunker

Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish. - Thomas Fuller

Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown

Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker

Laws do not persuade just because they threaten. - Seneca

The worst form of injustice is pretended justice. - Plato

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - William Shakespeare

That's the spirit - one part brave, three parts fool. - Christopher Paolini

You shall judge a man by his foes as well as by his friends. - Joseph Conrad

A wise man learns by the mistakes of others, a fool by his own. - Latin Proverb

We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

A fishing rod is a stick with a hook at one end and a fool at the other. - Samuel Johnson

I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn

The best use of laws is to teach men to trample bad laws under their feet. - Wendell Phillips

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. - Sally Field

Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. - Bertrand Russell

Any fool can paint a picture, but it takes a wise man to be able to sell it. - Samuel Butler

The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful one a criminal. - Erich Fromm

Lawyers are like beavers: They get in the middle of the stream and dam it up. - Donald Rumsfeld

The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson

True peace is not merely the absence of tension; it is the presence of justice. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. - Ernest Hemingway

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him. - Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

Observe good faith and justice toward all nations. Cultivate peace and harmony with all. - George Washington

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright

The young man who has not wept is a savage, and the old man who will not laugh is a fool. - George Santayana

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. - Plato

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

Once in a lifetime the longed-for tidal wave of justice can rise up, and hope and history rhyme. - Seamus Heaney

The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right. - Mark Twain

Walk away from anything or anyone who takes away from your joy. Life is too short to put up with fools. - Unknown

He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but don't let that fool you, he really is an idiot. - Groucho Marx

I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan

If the misery of the poor be caused not by the laws of nature, but by our institutions, great is our sin. - Charles Darwin

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters. - Frank Lloyd Wright

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes. - Robert Frost

Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws. - Plato

When hungry, eat your rice; when tired, close your eyes. Fools may laugh at me, but wise men will know what I mean. - Lin-Chi

When you say justice, it doesn't have to be war. Justice could just be clearing a path for people to dream properly. - Kanye West

What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele

A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. - John F Kennedy

We discern across the centuries a commanding and versatile intelligence, wielding with equal force the sword of war and of justice. - Winston Churchill

Morality cannot be legislated, but behavior can be regulated. Judicial decrees may not change the heart, but they can restrain the heartless. - Martin Luther King Jr.


see also   Lawyer  &  Religious  Sections
Atheist Nativity Scene
Bible Reference - Emergency Contact Numbers
Center Of The Bible
God’s Little Instructions
Psalm 23
Justice Is Blind
Legal Assistance For All
Legal Exhibit
Psalm 109
Psalm 129
Psalm 404
Youth Pastor’s Last Speech

 

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20-Jan-2020