Atheist Holiday

U.S. court case sets new Atheist Holiday


In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation of Easter and Passover holidays. He decided to contact his lawyer about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while atheists had no holiday to celebrate.

The case was brought before a wise judge. After listening to the long passionate presentation by the lawyer, the Judge banged his gavel and declared, “Case Dismissed.”

The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said, “Your Honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? Christians have Christmas, Easter and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah... yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays.”

The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, “Obviously your client is too confused to even know about, much less celebrate, his own atheists’ holiday!”

The lawyer pompously said, “Your Honor, we are unaware of any such holiday for atheists. Just when might that holiday be, your Honor?”

The judge said, “Well it comes every year on exactly the same date... April 1st. Since our calendar sets April 1st as “April Fools Day,” consider Psalm 14:1 and Psalm 53 which state, “The fool says in his heart, there is no God.” Thus, in my opinion, if your client says there is no God, then by scripture he is a fool, thus April 1st is his holiday!”


Inner peace achieved through forgiveness - letting go of the past,
and drinking to the future ...

QuotaBills
Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope

A fool and his money are soon parted. - English Proverb

OK, if you can get an indepartial judge. - Archie Bunker

A jester unemployed is nobody's fool. - Danny Kaye

In law, nothing is certain but the expense. - Samuel Butler

Any fool can criticize, and many of them do. - Cyril Garbett

Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown

Mother-In-Law Sandwich: Cold shoulder and tongue - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You can fool too many people too much of the time. - James Thurber

Lawyers are the foot soldiers of our Constitution. - Rennard Strickland

A jury is composed of twelve men of average ignorance. - Herbert Spencer

Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

A fool is known by his speech; and a wise man by silence. - Pythagoras

Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw

I've never been in love. I've always been a lawyer. - Unknown

The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb

If you laid all our laws end to end, there would be no end. - Arthur Baer

No man really becomes a fool until he stops asking questions. - Charles P. Steinmetz

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

Sometimes the strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws. - Barbara Kingsolver

Lawyers are like beavers. They get in the mainstream and dam it up. - John Naisbitt

A society that has more justice is a society that needs less charity. - Ralph Nader

A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends. - Baltasar Gracian

I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn

A fellow who is always declaring he’s no fool usually has suspicions. - Wilson Miznor

A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool. - William Shakespeare

A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost

Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day

Disease is war with the laws of our being, and all war, as a great general has said, is hell. - Lewis G. Janes

He who will not reason, is a bigot; he who cannot is a fool; and he who dares not is a slave. - illiam Drummond

Lawyers get you out'n the kind of trouble you'd never get in if there was no lawyers. - Ken Alstad

Lawyers are the only civil delinquents whose judges must of necessity be chosen from themselves. - Charles C Colton

Beware of lawyers and consultants and people who do not take risks and who do not get their hands dirty. - Felix G Rohatyn

If the misery of the poor be caused not by the laws of nature, but by our institutions, great is our sin. - Charles Darwin

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it. - WC Fields

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters. - Frank Lloyd Wright

There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey

No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison

When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand

This hour we are stretching forth our hands with the desire to teach the world the true principles of mercy and justice. - Marcus Garvey

Honest and peace-loving people shun the Courts and are prepared to suffer loss rather than fall into a Lawyer's clutches. - Peter De Noronha

Anyone who takes it on himself, on his own authority, to break a bad law, thereby authorizes everyone else to break the good ones. - Denis Diderot

The great trial lawyers are the ones who help their jurors by providing them with the tools with which to reach the right verdict. - G Christopher Ritter

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too. - Anton Chekhov

As a rule man is a fool,
When it's hot he wants it cool,
When it's cool he wants it hot,
Always wanting what is not. - Unknown

While there is a lower class, I am in it; while there is a criminal element, I am of it; and while there is a soul in prison, I am not free. - Eugene V Debs

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. - Anatole France

Music is amoral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything. - Plato

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright


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08-May-2021