Atheist Holiday

U.S. court case sets new Atheist Holiday


In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation of Easter and Passover holidays. He decided to contact his lawyer about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while atheists had no holiday to celebrate.

The case was brought before a wise judge. After listening to the long passionate presentation by the lawyer, the Judge banged his gavel and declared, “Case Dismissed.”

The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said, “Your Honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? Christians have Christmas, Easter and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah... yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays.”

The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, “Obviously your client is too confused to even know about, much less celebrate, his own atheists’ holiday!”

The lawyer pompously said, “Your Honor, we are unaware of any such holiday for atheists. Just when might that holiday be, your Honor?”

The judge said, “Well it comes every year on exactly the same date... April 1st. Since our calendar sets April 1st as “April Fools Day,” consider Psalm 14:1 and Psalm 53 which state, “The fool says in his heart, there is no God.” Thus, in my opinion, if your client says there is no God, then by scripture he is a fool, thus April 1st is his holiday!”


Inner peace achieved through forgiveness - letting go of the past,
and drinking to the future ...

QuotaBills
Lord, what fools these mortals be! - William Shakespeare

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Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb

He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb

Judge a man by the reputation of his enemies. - Arabian Proverb

Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance. - Unknown

There's a strong criminal relement up there. - Archie Bunker

Tomorrow is only found in the calendar of fools. - Og Mandino

Mother-In-Law Sandwich: Cold shoulder and tongue - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

A fox should not be on the jury at a goose's trial. - Thomas Fuller

Wise men profit more from fools than fools from wise men. - Cato

If you laid all our laws end to end, there would be no end. - Arthur Baer

You shall judge a man by his foes as well as by his friends. - Joseph Conrad

We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. - Japanese Proverb

Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown

Do not judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins. - Native American Proverb

A good trumpeter has the power to rouse fools into making slaughter. - Virgil

The best use of laws is to teach men to trample bad laws under their feet. - Wendell Phillips

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. - Sally Field

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful one a criminal. - Erich Fromm

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? How many can you afford? - Blanche Knott

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

The heart of a fool is in his mouth, but the mouth of a wise man is in his heart. - Benjamin Franklin

A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost

Lawyers are operators of toll bridges which anyone in search of justice must pass. - Jane Bryant Quinn

Anyone who works is a fool. I don't work - I merely inflict myself on the public. - Robert Morley

Justice is the insurance we have on our lives, and obedience is the premium we pay for it. - William Penn

Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day

Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again. - Nelson Mandela

Self-preservation is the first law of nature, but self-sacrifice is the highest rule of grace. - Unknown

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France

Whatever their other contributions to our society, lawyers could be an important source of protein. - Guindon

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. - Edsgar Dijkstra

The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right. - Mark Twain

Why don't you ever hear of a lawyer getting attacked by a shark at the beach? Professional courtesy. - Thomas F Shubnell

It is better to remain silent at the risk of being thought a fool, than to talk and remove all doubt of it. - Maurice Switzer

Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws. - Plato

Honest and peace-loving people shun the Courts and are prepared to suffer loss rather than fall into a Lawyer's clutches. - Peter De Noronha

Men became scientific because they expected law in nature and they expected law in nature because they believed in a lawgiver. - Ravi Zacharias

Written laws are like spider's webs; they will catch the weak and poor, but would be torn in pieces by the rich and powerful. - Anacharsis

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. - Bertrand Russell

Judge: 1. A law student who marks his own examination papers; 2. A lawyer who once knew a politician; 3. A man in a trying position. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

Lawyers are doubters, skeptics; not in a bad sense. But they never know any thing absolutely and utterly without qualifications or modifications. - G N Tillman

The Post Office just recalled their newest stamps. They had a picture of lawyers on them, and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on. - Marvin Lebman

What we lawyers want to do is to substitute courts for carnage, dockets for rockets, briefs for bombs, warrants for warheads, mandates for missiles. - George Rhyne

There is only one categorical imperative: Act only according to that maxim by which you can at the same time will that it should become universal law. - Immanuel Kant


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28-May-2022