Atheist Holiday

U.S. court case sets new Atheist Holiday


In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation of Easter and Passover holidays. He decided to contact his lawyer about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while atheists had no holiday to celebrate.

The case was brought before a wise judge. After listening to the long passionate presentation by the lawyer, the Judge banged his gavel and declared, “Case Dismissed.”

The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said, “Your Honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? Christians have Christmas, Easter and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah... yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays.”

The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, “Obviously your client is too confused to even know about, much less celebrate, his own atheists’ holiday!”

The lawyer pompously said, “Your Honor, we are unaware of any such holiday for atheists. Just when might that holiday be, your Honor?”

The judge said, “Well it comes every year on exactly the same date... April 1st. Since our calendar sets April 1st as “April Fools Day,” consider Psalm 14:1 and Psalm 53 which state, “The fool says in his heart, there is no God.” Thus, in my opinion, if your client says there is no God, then by scripture he is a fool, thus April 1st is his holiday!”


Inner peace achieved through forgiveness - letting go of the past,
and drinking to the future ...

QuotaBills
Lord, what fools these mortals be! - William Shakespeare

Generosity is the flower of justice. - Nathaniel Hawthorne

The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno

We judge of man's wisdom by his hope. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is better to be a fool than to be dead. - Robert Louis Stevenson

To live outside the law, you must be honest. - Bob Dylan

Any fool can criticize, and many of them do. - Cyril Garbett

Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker

It is not wisdom but authority that makes a law. - Thomas Hobbes

A jury is composed of twelve men of average ignorance. - Herbert Spencer

The power of the lawyer is in the uncertainty of the law. - Jeremy Bentham

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens

The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb

People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus

It is better to weep with wise men than to laugh with fools. - Spanish Proverb

Wise people learn when they can.
Fools learn when they must. - Arthur Wellesley Wellington

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx

We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. - Japanese Proverb

A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends. - Baltasar Gracian

So I will say it with relish. Give me a hamburger but hold the lawsuit. - S.I. Hayakawa

I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. - Bertrand Russell

You cannot live without the lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate

Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. - Mark Twain

A wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can from a mountain top. - Unknown

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright

He that has no fools, knaves, nor beggars in his family was begot by a flash of lightning. - Thomas Fuller

A criminal remains a criminal whether he uses a convict's suit or a monarch's crown. - Victor Hugo

Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. - Plato

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. - Malcolm S Forbes

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France

The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht

The zombies were like Canadians, in that they looked enough like real people at first, to fool you. - Kelly Link

Those who will not reason are bigots, those who cannot are fools, and those who dare not are slaves. - George Gordon

In a litigation-happy society, clear agreements often prevent small disagreements form becoming big ones. - Harvey Mackay

I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan

If the misery of the poor be caused not by the laws of nature, but by our institutions, great is our sin. - Charles Darwin

Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. - Brendan Behan

There's a lot of fake people in the world, but before you judge them, make sure you're not one of them. - Unknown

I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry

When hungry, eat your rice; when tired, close your eyes. Fools may laugh at me, but wise men will know what I mean. - Lin-Chi

The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger

When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand

Anyone who takes it on himself, on his own authority, to break a bad law, thereby authorizes everyone else to break the good ones. - Denis Diderot

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. - Bertrand Russell

We are all the fools of time and terror: Days Steal on us and steal from us; yet we live, Loathing our life, and dreading still to die. - George Gordon Byron

Too many young folk have an addiction to superficial things and not enough conviction for substantial things like justice, truth and love. - Cornel West

Morality cannot be legislated, but behavior can be regulated. Judicial decrees may not change the heart, but they can restrain the heartless. - Martin Luther King Jr.

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. - Anatole France


see also   Lawyer  &  Religious  Sections
Atheist Nativity Scene
Bible Reference - Emergency Contact Numbers
Center Of The Bible
God’s Little Instructions
Psalm 23
Justice Is Blind
Legal Assistance For All
Legal Exhibit
Psalm 109
Psalm 129
Psalm 404
Youth Pastor’s Last Speech

 

Troll Convention

Christmas Coat

Reach For The Mountain Top

Dehydrated Water

Eavestrough Help

Negotiations Texas Style

Boom Bag

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Grampoline

Scarf Fashion

Not Alone

Goodbye Tattoo

Family Exercise

Bulge That All Women Love

Hand Drawn

Learn To Fly

Rosella Ring

Orthodox Weapon

Antler Car

Wicked Stawm
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

16-Dec-2019