Birthday Dog

Every dog has his day. - Unknown

Happiness is a warm puppy. - Charles Schulz

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. - Ernestine Ulmer

A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb

How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffett

The dog represents all that is best in man. - Etienne Charlet

He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

I am putting real plums into an imaginary cake. - Mary McCarthy

Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Life is too short not to order the bacon dessert. - George Takei

The cinema is not a slice of life, but a piece of cake. - Alfred Hitchcock

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

A lot of movies are about life, mine are like a slice of cake. - Alfred Hitchcock

False Economy: using only 30 candles on her 40th birthday cake - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

"Let 'em eat cake," to quote the late Mark Antonette. - Archie Bunker

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman

There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Ben Williams

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. - Bob Hope

A great empire, like a great cake, is most easily diminished at the edges. - Benjamin Franklin

The trees in Siberia are miles apart - that's why the dogs are so fast. - Bob Hope

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. - Josh Billings

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

Observe your dog: if he's fat, then you're not getting enough exercise. - Evan Esar

On my 85th birthday, I felt like a 20-year-old. But there wasn't one around. - Milton Berle

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

We're really just the frosting on a cake and we don't know what's inside the cake. - Adam Riess

Everything slows down with age. Except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips. - John Wagner

I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown

You're getting old when the only thing you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it. - Felix Severn

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

I remember when the candle shop burned won. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday." - Steven Wright

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece. - Ludwig Erhard

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. - Steven Wright

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit. - George Burns

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

I like to eat pizza and spaghetti pomodoro, and I'm crazy for dessert. I like all of them: cassata, cheesecake, biscuits. - Stefano Gabbana

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.' - Jerry Seinfeld

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash