Redneck Lawn Mower Repair

Follow the grain in your own wood. - Howard Thurman

Log On: Makin' the wood stove hotter - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Newly Hatched Termites: Babes in the wood - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Maintenance is as much art as it is science. - Unknown

Tweezers: A tool for removing wood splinters - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Chop your own wood, and it will warm you twice. - Henry Ford

Dialogue: Changing the colour of a piece of wood - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Whittle By Whittle: How to carve a statue out of wood - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining. - John F Kennedy

A chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up. - Brigham Young

Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself. - Harrison Ford

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. - Frederick Douglass

I can look at the knot in a piece of wood until it frightens me. - William Blake

The shortest distance between two points is usually under repair. - Unknown

Xylophonist: A superstitious person who goes around knocking on wood - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Boat: A hole in the water surrounded by wood into which one pours money - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The mind is not a vessel that needs filling but wood that needs igniting. - Plutarch

Athlete: A dignified bunch of muscles, unable to split wood or sift ashes - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. - Tim Allen

From such crooked wood as that which man is made of, nothing straight can be fashioned. - Immanuel Kant

Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. - Zen Buddhist Saying

It's easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult. Choose your words wisely. - Unknown

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Steven Wright

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference. - Robert Frost

Wood: That remarkable material which burns so easily in a forest and with such difficulty in a fireplace - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The average auto owner drives so blamed reckless I'm glad that he does git robbed when he pays a repair bill. - Kin Hubbard

There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan

A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. - James Dent

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Fiber: Edible wood-pulp said to aid digestion and prolong life, so that we might enjoy another six or eight years in which to consume wood-pulp - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Some primal termite knocked on wood,
And tasted it, and found it good;
That is why your Cousin May
Fell through the parlor floor today. - Ogden Nash

I'm always tinkering with something - suddenly I'll think I can work with wood, but then I'll realize I can't, so I go back to sewing. - Melissa McCarthy