“Hello, is this the FBI?”
“Yes. What do you want?”
“I'm calling to report about my neighbor Billy Bob Smith. He's hiding marijuana inside his firewood.”
“Thank you very much for the call, sir.”
The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swore at Billy Bob and left.
The phone rings at Billy Bob's house.
“Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?”
“Yeah!”
“Did they chop your firewood?”
“Yep.”
“Happy Birthday, Bubba.”
A light heart lives long. - William Shakespeare
Light tomorrow with today. - Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Yes, I speak Spanish: MARGARITA. - Unknown
Wine and children speak the truth. - Greek Proverb
Speak softly and wear a loud shirt. - Hawaiian Proverb
Music is the universal language of mankind. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Luminary: One who throws light upon a subject - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The measure of intelligence is the ability to change. - Albert Einstein
Don't speak unless you can improve on the silence. - Spanish Proverb
When people are proud of their speech, be proud of your silence. - Luqman
Every time you have to speak, you are auditioning for leadership. - James Humes
It is not clear that intelligence has any long-term survival value. - Stephen Hawking
To deceive a diplomat speak the truth, he has no experience with it. - Greek Proverb
If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? - Unknown
I have a feeling my Check Liver Light may come on this weekend. - Unknown
Light is the greatest disinfectant in nature and also in organizations. - Stephen Covey
Truth will ultimately prevail where there is pains to being it to light. - George Washington
Be enthusiastic as a leader. You can't light a fire with a wet match. - Unknown
Dreams say what they mean, but they don't say it in daytime language. - Gail Godwin
Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine
We cannot hold a torch to light another's path without brightening our own. - Unknown
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. - Ernest Hemingway
You don't have to be smart to laugh at farts, but you have to be stupid not to. - Louis C.K.
Good marketing makes the company look smart. Great marketing makes the customer feel smart. - Joe Chernov
The same hot lightning that burns your blood with passion–– cools your fears with peace. - Aberjhani
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. - Plato
Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee
Oh say can you see, by the dawn's early light. What so proudly we hailed. Of thee I sing. - Archie Bunker
The less I know about a subject, the more confidence I have; and the more light I throw on it. - Mark Twain
Though everyone has an equal right to speak, not all have earned an equal right to be taken seriously. - Hubert Humphrey
I think people need to be educated to the fact that marijuana is not a drug. Marijuana is a flower. God put it here. - Willie Nelson
If an animal does something, we call it instinct. If we do the same thing for the same reason, we call it intelligence. - Will Cuppy
If you maintain a healthy diet, or at least are smart about your food choices, you'll still see the pounds come off. - Misty May-Treanor
The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless. - Unknown
When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. - Norm Crosby
Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another. - Napoleon Hill
If I were a flower,
humming bird would be my favourite bee
And If I were blind,
the light of darkness I'd love to see - Munia Khan
I'm off the diet, but not the treadmill. I speak as someone who's attempted to lose weight and get fit thrice before in my life. - Ronnie Screwvala
If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. - Will Advise
Light tomorrow with today. - Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Yes, I speak Spanish: MARGARITA. - Unknown
Wine and children speak the truth. - Greek Proverb
Speak softly and wear a loud shirt. - Hawaiian Proverb
Music is the universal language of mankind. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Luminary: One who throws light upon a subject - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The measure of intelligence is the ability to change. - Albert Einstein
Don't speak unless you can improve on the silence. - Spanish Proverb
When people are proud of their speech, be proud of your silence. - Luqman
Every time you have to speak, you are auditioning for leadership. - James Humes
It is not clear that intelligence has any long-term survival value. - Stephen Hawking
To deceive a diplomat speak the truth, he has no experience with it. - Greek Proverb
If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? - Unknown
I have a feeling my Check Liver Light may come on this weekend. - Unknown
Light is the greatest disinfectant in nature and also in organizations. - Stephen Covey
Truth will ultimately prevail where there is pains to being it to light. - George Washington
Be enthusiastic as a leader. You can't light a fire with a wet match. - Unknown
Dreams say what they mean, but they don't say it in daytime language. - Gail Godwin
Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine
We cannot hold a torch to light another's path without brightening our own. - Unknown
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. - Ernest Hemingway
You don't have to be smart to laugh at farts, but you have to be stupid not to. - Louis C.K.
Good marketing makes the company look smart. Great marketing makes the customer feel smart. - Joe Chernov
The same hot lightning that burns your blood with passion–– cools your fears with peace. - Aberjhani
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. - Plato
Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee
Oh say can you see, by the dawn's early light. What so proudly we hailed. Of thee I sing. - Archie Bunker
The less I know about a subject, the more confidence I have; and the more light I throw on it. - Mark Twain
Though everyone has an equal right to speak, not all have earned an equal right to be taken seriously. - Hubert Humphrey
I think people need to be educated to the fact that marijuana is not a drug. Marijuana is a flower. God put it here. - Willie Nelson
If an animal does something, we call it instinct. If we do the same thing for the same reason, we call it intelligence. - Will Cuppy
If you maintain a healthy diet, or at least are smart about your food choices, you'll still see the pounds come off. - Misty May-Treanor
The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless. - Unknown
When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. - Norm Crosby
Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another. - Napoleon Hill
If I were a flower,
humming bird would be my favourite bee
And If I were blind,
the light of darkness I'd love to see - Munia Khan
I'm off the diet, but not the treadmill. I speak as someone who's attempted to lose weight and get fit thrice before in my life. - Ronnie Screwvala
If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. - Will Advise
see also Redneck Section
Bright People
Conservative Plant
Cow Return
Cowcycle
First Shipment
Ottawa White Smoke
Pipe Talk
Puntastic
Seattle After Pot Was Legalized
Stay Off The Grass
Tearable Puns
Tridgeridoo
 Mandeville Mascot |  Morning After Dog |  Thanks Granny |  Redneck Hands-Free Driving |  No Passing Lanes |
 One-Knight Stands |  Live Long Street |  Texas Car Wash |  1934 Modern Home |  Breakfast Cupcakes |
 Microsoft Messenger - Prototype |  Five Firm Brakes Tire |  Dark Side Bus Stop |  Only in Las Vegas |  Sailing Duck |
23-Sep-2021 |