Catholic Math

Little Johnny was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything; tutors, flash cards, special learning centers, in short, everything they could think of. Finally in a last ditch effort, they took Johnny down & enrolled him in the local Catholic school.

After the first day, little Johnny came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn’t kiss his mother hello. Instead, he went straight to his room & started studying. Books & papers were spread out all over the room and little Johnny was hard at work. His mother was amazed. She called him down to dinner and to her shock, the minute he was done he marched back to his room without a word and in no time he was back hitting the books as hard as before.

This went on for sometime, day after day while the mother tried to understand what made all the difference. Finally, little Johnny brought home his report card. He quietly laid it on the table and went up to his room and hit the books. With great trepidation, his mom looked at it and to her surprise, little Johnny got an A in math.

She could no longer hold her curiosity. She went to his room and said, “Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?”
Little Johnny looked at her and shook his head, no.
“Well then,” she replied, “was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms? WHAT was it?”
Little Johnny looked at her and said, “Well, on the first day of school, when I saw that guy on the wall nailed to the big plus sign, I knew they weren’t fooling around.”

QuotaBills
Mathematics: the only subject that counts. - Unknown

I go to school the youth to learn the future. - Robert Frost

I graduated first in my class from alibi school. - Jeffrey McDaniel

I am an expert in Higher Level Math: You + God = Enough - Zig Ziglar

Math, it's a puzzle to me. I love figuring out puzzles. - Maya Lin

A college education shows a man how little other people know. - T.C. Hailburton

Mathematics has given economics rigor, but alas, also mortis. - Robert Heilbroner

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra. - Fran Lebowitz

I am a great fan of science, but I cannot do a quadratic equation. - Terry Pratchett

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board. - Mark Twain

I was a great student at a great school, Wharton School of Finance. - Donald Trump

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

Mathematics consists of proving the most obvious thing in the least obvious way. - George Polya

Perhaps the most surprising thing about mathematics is that it is so surprising. - E.C. Titchmarsh

Someone told me that each equation I included in the book would halve the sales. - Stephen Hawking

Film is one of the three universal languages, the other two: mathematics and music. - Frank Capra

For the things of this world cannot be made known without a knowledge of mathematics. - Roger Bacon

When I was in high school, I earned the pimple award and every other gross-out award. - Jack Nicholson

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

If I feel unhappy, I do mathematics to become happy. If I am happy, I do mathematics to keep happy. - Alfred Renyi

At the end of the day if you want to entertain people, you've got to take your ego out of the equation. - Paul Feig

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. - Mark Twain

I played basketball in high school, and I love watching sports - I'll watch everything except maybe hockey. - Andy Roddick

Mathematics is the only science where one never knows what one is talking about nor whether what is said is true. - Bertrand Russell

We women know how to take care of everybody so well. But the one person we have written out of the equation is us. - Suze Orman

The most painful thing about mathematics is how far away you are from being able to use it after you have learned it. - James Newman

Mathematics is like checkers in being suitable for the young, not too difficult, amusing, and without peril to the state. - Plato

Mathematics is indeed dangerous in that it absorbs students to such a degree that it dulls their senses to everything else. - Prinz zu Hohlenlohe-Ingelfingen Kraft

A formal manipulator in mathematics often experiences the discomforting feeling that his pencil surpasses him in intelligence. - Howard Eves

I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. - George Foreman

Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true. - Rene Descartes

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

You can't be afraid of getting old. Old is good, if you're gathering in life. Our band is good at understanding that equation. - Bruce Springsteen

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

When I finished school, I took one of those career-aptitude tests, and based on my verbal ability score, they suggested I become a mime. - Tim Cavanagh

Mathematics is not a careful march down a well-cleared highway, but a journey into a strange wilderness where the explorers often get lost. - W.S. Anglin

Mathematics began to seem too much like puzzle solving. Physics is puzzle solving, too, but of puzzles created by nature, not by the mind of man. - Maria G. Mayer

If it's green, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it has numbers, it's math. If it doesn't work, it's technology. - Unknown

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04-Apr-2020