Little Johnny asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, so she said yes. When he went to wipe his fanny, there was no toilet paper... so he used his hand.
When he got back to class, his teacher asked, “What do you have in your hand?”
Little Johnny said, “A little leprechaun, and if I open my hand he’ll get scared away.”
He was then sent to the principals office and the principal asked him, “What do you
have in your hand?”
So Little Johnny said, “A little leprechaun, and if I open my hands he’ll get scared away.”
He was then sent home and his Mom asked him, “What do you have in your hand?”
So Little Johnny said, “Mom, it’s a little leprechaun, and if I open my hands he’ll get scared away.”
He was sent to his room until his Dad came in and said, “What do you have in your hand?”
So again Little Johnny said, “A little leprechaun, and if I open my hands he’ll get scared away.”
Then his Dad got really mad and yelled, “Open your hands NOW!”
And Little Johnny said, “Oh great Dad, now look what you did - you scared the crap out of him!”
No man is an Ireland. - Richard Daley
Everyone is wise until he speaks. - Irish Drinking Toast
Paddy O Furniture: Irish lawn chairs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I'm just a true Irish boy at heart. - Colin Farrell
To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy
Yes, I am an Irish lass through and through. - Erin Andrews
Ireland is the old sow that eats her farrow. - James Joyce
The Danes and the Irish have a great simpatico. - Pierce Brosnan
Our Irish blunders are never blunders of the heart. - Maria Edgeworth
My dad's Irish music was such a huge influence. - Dido Armstrong
An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy
Where would the Irish be without someone to be Irish at? - Elizabeth Bowen
The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery
Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown
My Irish derivation has nothing to do with me. Why should it? - Carroll O'Connor
There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge
I'm from durable stock. I'm made to work. I'm Irish. - Mary McCormack
God is good to the Irish, but no one else is; not even the Irish. - Unknown
Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett
Irish Americans are no more Irish than Black Americans are Africans. - Bob Geldof
Even when they have nothing, the Irish emit a kind of happiness, a joy. - Fiona Shaw
The Irish are a very fair people, they never speak well of one another. - Unknown
Being Irish is very much a part of who I am. I take it everywhere with me. - Colin Farrell
The Irish and British, they love satire, it's a large part of the culture. - Ben Nicholson
I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe
My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey
Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse
I think the genetics of being Irish are that you sort of prefer when it's rainy and cloudy. - Kate Flannery
I'm proud of my Irish heritage and culture and this show will feature a lot of Irish dancing. - Michael Flatley
The problem with being Irish is having 'Riverdance' on your back. It's a burden at times. - Roddy Doyle
Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy. - William Butler Yeats
"Burn everything British," he once advised his Irish countrymen, "except their coal." - Jonathan Swift
That's the Irish people all over - they treat a joke as a serious thing, and a serious thing as a joke. - Sean O'Casey
I was freelancing for years in Cork and around. I also wrote freelance pieces for 'The Irish Times.' - Kevin Barry
The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson
If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde
May you always walk in sunshine. May you never want for more. May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door. - Irish Blessings
We've never been cool, we're hot. Irish people are Italians who can't dress, Jamaicans who can't dance. - Bono
For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor
Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown
Everyone is wise until he speaks. - Irish Drinking Toast
Paddy O Furniture: Irish lawn chairs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I'm just a true Irish boy at heart. - Colin Farrell
To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy
Yes, I am an Irish lass through and through. - Erin Andrews
Ireland is the old sow that eats her farrow. - James Joyce
The Danes and the Irish have a great simpatico. - Pierce Brosnan
Our Irish blunders are never blunders of the heart. - Maria Edgeworth
My dad's Irish music was such a huge influence. - Dido Armstrong
An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy
Where would the Irish be without someone to be Irish at? - Elizabeth Bowen
The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery
Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown
My Irish derivation has nothing to do with me. Why should it? - Carroll O'Connor
There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge
I'm from durable stock. I'm made to work. I'm Irish. - Mary McCormack
God is good to the Irish, but no one else is; not even the Irish. - Unknown
Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett
Irish Americans are no more Irish than Black Americans are Africans. - Bob Geldof
Even when they have nothing, the Irish emit a kind of happiness, a joy. - Fiona Shaw
The Irish are a very fair people, they never speak well of one another. - Unknown
Being Irish is very much a part of who I am. I take it everywhere with me. - Colin Farrell
The Irish and British, they love satire, it's a large part of the culture. - Ben Nicholson
I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe
My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey
Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse
I think the genetics of being Irish are that you sort of prefer when it's rainy and cloudy. - Kate Flannery
I'm proud of my Irish heritage and culture and this show will feature a lot of Irish dancing. - Michael Flatley
The problem with being Irish is having 'Riverdance' on your back. It's a burden at times. - Roddy Doyle
Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy. - William Butler Yeats
"Burn everything British," he once advised his Irish countrymen, "except their coal." - Jonathan Swift
That's the Irish people all over - they treat a joke as a serious thing, and a serious thing as a joke. - Sean O'Casey
I was freelancing for years in Cork and around. I also wrote freelance pieces for 'The Irish Times.' - Kevin Barry
The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson
If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde
May you always walk in sunshine. May you never want for more. May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door. - Irish Blessings
We've never been cool, we're hot. Irish people are Italians who can't dress, Jamaicans who can't dance. - Bono
For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor
Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown
see also Irish, Little Johnny & St. Patrick’s Day Sections
Going Green for Ireland
Green Beards
Irish Alzheimers
Irish Bar
Irish Birth Control
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Drink
Irish Exam
Irish Flood
Irish Rugby Fans
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Virgin
Irish Weather Forecasting
St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
St. Patrick’s Day Riddles
St. Patrick’s Dog
Swimming Buddies
Teddy Bear Dance
The Fert
What’s Under The Kilt?
 Young or Old Swimmer? |  Japanese Keyboard |  Baby Peephole |  Exit Not Found |  Cat Burglar |
 Foot Race |  2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars |  Lockdown Advice |  Wii Way |  Odor Detector |
 Associate Demonstration |  Biden in the Oval Office |  Poor Fishing Day |  Mustache Breeze |  Chain Weave Hairstyle |
21-Jan-2021 |