Little Johnny asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, so she said yes. When he went to wipe his fanny, there was no toilet paper... so he used his hand.
When he got back to class, his teacher asked, “What do you have in your hand?”
Little Johnny said, “A little leprechaun, and if I open my hand he’ll get scared away.”
He was then sent to the principals office and the principal asked him, “What do you
have in your hand?”
So Little Johnny said, “A little leprechaun, and if I open my hands he’ll get scared away.”
He was then sent home and his Mom asked him, “What do you have in your hand?”
So Little Johnny said, “Mom, it’s a little leprechaun, and if I open my hands he’ll get scared away.”
He was sent to his room until his Dad came in and said, “What do you have in your hand?”
So again Little Johnny said, “A little leprechaun, and if I open my hands he’ll get scared away.”
Then his Dad got really mad and yelled, “Open your hands NOW!”
And Little Johnny said, “Oh great Dad, now look what you did - you scared the crap out of him!”
I'm Irish. We think sideways. - Spike Milligan
To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy
The Danes and the Irish have a great simpatico. - Pierce Brosnan
I come from a long line of staunch Irish Catholics. - Robert Vaughn
Our Irish blunders are never blunders of the heart. - Maria Edgeworth
You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb
I had that stubborn streak, the Irish in me I guess. - Gregory Peck
I have a thing for red-haired Irish boys, as we know. - Sandra Bullock
Bless your little Irish heart and every other Irish part. - Irish Blessings
There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge
God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying
I'm from durable stock. I'm made to work. I'm Irish. - Mary McCormack
Irish Alzheimer's - you forget everything except the grudges. - Unknown
God is good to the Irish, but no one else is; not even the Irish. - Unknown
Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett
The Irish are a fair people, they never speak well of one another. - Samuel Johnson
We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill
It is a symbol of Irish art. The cracked looking-glass of a servant. - James Joyce
Irish Americans are no more Irish than Black Americans are Africans. - Bob Geldof
Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis. - Brendan Behan
Being Irish is very much a part of who I am. I take it everywhere with me. - Colin Farrell
I come from an Irish Catholic family, and hell-raising is part of the DNA. - Brian Dennehy
Wherever you go and whatever you do, may the luck of the Irish be there with you. - Irish Blessings
I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. - Orson Welles
There are only two kinds of people in the world: the Irish and those who wish they were. - Irish Saying
I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke
The Irish do not want anyone to wish them well; they want everyone to wish their enemies ill. - Harold Nicolson
I have a difficult time doing an Irish accent; even now, it kind of fades slowly into Scottish. - Robin Williams
I think the genetics of being Irish are that you sort of prefer when it's rainy and cloudy. - Kate Flannery
What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland
The curse of the Irish is not that they don't know the words to a song - its that they know them all. - Susan Dooley
I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris
I think Paul McGuinness and U2 created the Irish music industry. It certainly wasn't there before that. - Van Morrison
That's the Irish people all over - they treat a joke as a serious thing, and a serious thing as a joke. - Sean O'Casey
I was freelancing for years in Cork and around. I also wrote freelance pieces for 'The Irish Times.' - Kevin Barry
I'm a big fan of the Irish accent. After a couple of drinks, I start to get a bit of an Irish lilt, too. - Emily Ratajkowski
As I told Piers Morgan, 'Catholics have confession, whereas Northern Irish Protestants only have interviews.' - James Nesbitt
The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad.
For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad. - G K Chesterton
With such riches as I have in life, you're always nervous. Being Irish, you're waiting for something to knock it sideways. - Pierce Brosnan
Franklin D. Roosevelt: "Why do you Irish always answer a question with a question?",
New York Mayor Al Smith: "Do we now?" - Franklin D Roosevelt
To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy
The Danes and the Irish have a great simpatico. - Pierce Brosnan
I come from a long line of staunch Irish Catholics. - Robert Vaughn
Our Irish blunders are never blunders of the heart. - Maria Edgeworth
You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb
I had that stubborn streak, the Irish in me I guess. - Gregory Peck
I have a thing for red-haired Irish boys, as we know. - Sandra Bullock
Bless your little Irish heart and every other Irish part. - Irish Blessings
There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge
God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying
I'm from durable stock. I'm made to work. I'm Irish. - Mary McCormack
Irish Alzheimer's - you forget everything except the grudges. - Unknown
God is good to the Irish, but no one else is; not even the Irish. - Unknown
Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett
The Irish are a fair people, they never speak well of one another. - Samuel Johnson
We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill
It is a symbol of Irish art. The cracked looking-glass of a servant. - James Joyce
Irish Americans are no more Irish than Black Americans are Africans. - Bob Geldof
Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis. - Brendan Behan
Being Irish is very much a part of who I am. I take it everywhere with me. - Colin Farrell
I come from an Irish Catholic family, and hell-raising is part of the DNA. - Brian Dennehy
Wherever you go and whatever you do, may the luck of the Irish be there with you. - Irish Blessings
I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. - Orson Welles
There are only two kinds of people in the world: the Irish and those who wish they were. - Irish Saying
I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke
The Irish do not want anyone to wish them well; they want everyone to wish their enemies ill. - Harold Nicolson
I have a difficult time doing an Irish accent; even now, it kind of fades slowly into Scottish. - Robin Williams
I think the genetics of being Irish are that you sort of prefer when it's rainy and cloudy. - Kate Flannery
What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland
The curse of the Irish is not that they don't know the words to a song - its that they know them all. - Susan Dooley
I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris
I think Paul McGuinness and U2 created the Irish music industry. It certainly wasn't there before that. - Van Morrison
That's the Irish people all over - they treat a joke as a serious thing, and a serious thing as a joke. - Sean O'Casey
I was freelancing for years in Cork and around. I also wrote freelance pieces for 'The Irish Times.' - Kevin Barry
I'm a big fan of the Irish accent. After a couple of drinks, I start to get a bit of an Irish lilt, too. - Emily Ratajkowski
As I told Piers Morgan, 'Catholics have confession, whereas Northern Irish Protestants only have interviews.' - James Nesbitt
The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad.
For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad. - G K Chesterton
With such riches as I have in life, you're always nervous. Being Irish, you're waiting for something to knock it sideways. - Pierce Brosnan
Franklin D. Roosevelt: "Why do you Irish always answer a question with a question?",
New York Mayor Al Smith: "Do we now?" - Franklin D Roosevelt
see also Irish, Little Johnny & St. Patrick’s Day Sections
Going Green for Ireland
Green Beards
Irish Alzheimers
Irish Bar
Irish Birth Control
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Drink
Irish Exam
Irish Flood
Irish Rugby Fans
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Virgin
Irish Weather Forecasting
St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
St. Patrick’s Day Riddles
St. Patrick’s Dog
Swimming Buddies
Teddy Bear Dance
The Fert
What’s Under The Kilt?
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17-Oct-2021 |