Little Johnny asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, so she said yes. When he went to wipe his fanny, there was no toilet paper... so he used his hand.
When he got back to class, his teacher asked, “What do you have in your hand?”
Little Johnny said, “A little leprechaun, and if I open my hand he’ll get scared away.”
He was then sent to the principals office and the principal asked him, “What do you
have in your hand?”
So Little Johnny said, “A little leprechaun, and if I open my hands he’ll get scared away.”
He was then sent home and his Mom asked him, “What do you have in your hand?”
So Little Johnny said, “Mom, it’s a little leprechaun, and if I open my hands he’ll get scared away.”
He was sent to his room until his Dad came in and said, “What do you have in your hand?”
So again Little Johnny said, “A little leprechaun, and if I open my hands he’ll get scared away.”
Then his Dad got really mad and yelled, “Open your hands NOW!”
And Little Johnny said, “Oh great Dad, now look what you did - you scared the crap out of him!”
Everyone is wise until he speaks. - Irish Drinking Toast
Paddy O Furniture: Irish lawn chairs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Being Irish, I always had this love of words. - Kenneth Branagh
There are not many Irish people playing tennis. - Goran Ivanisevic
The Danes and the Irish have a great simpatico. - Pierce Brosnan
I'm Irish. I think about death all the time. - Jack Nicholson
My dad's Irish music was such a huge influence. - Dido Armstrong
You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb
The Irish are a very popular race - with themselves. - Brendan Behan
The Irish ignore anything they can't drink or punch. - James Boswell
Where would the Irish be without someone to be Irish at? - Elizabeth Bowen
If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks. - Brendan Behan
Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown
You think the Welsh are friendly, but the Irish are fabulous. - Bonnie Tyler
My Irish derivation has nothing to do with me. Why should it? - Carroll O'Connor
I'm an Irish Catholic and I have a long iceberg of guilt. - Edna O'Brien
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett
The Irish are a fair people, they never speak well of one another. - Samuel Johnson
In Ireland, a writer is looked upon as a failed conversationalist. - Unknown
Irish Americans are no more Irish than Black Americans are Africans. - Bob Geldof
The Irish are a very fair people, they never speak well of one another. - Unknown
Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty
I've heard some duff Irish accents. The worst must be Mickey Rourke. - James Nesbitt
What's the use of being Irish if the world doesn't break your heart? - Unknown
Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead
Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness
The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers
I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader
I am who I am: an Irish Catholic kid, working class from Long Island. And I made it big. - Bill O'Reilly
I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke
The Irish are the only men who know how to cry for the dirty polluted blood of all the world. - Norman Mailer
I think the genetics of being Irish are that you sort of prefer when it's rainy and cloudy. - Kate Flannery
Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson
I had to have some balls to be Irish Catholic in South London. Most of that time I spent fighting. - Pierce Brosnan
I'm Irish on St. Patrick's Day. I'm Italian on Columbus Day. I'm a New Yorker every day. - Tamara Tunie
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine
In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue
With such riches as I have in life, you're always nervous. Being Irish, you're waiting for something to knock it sideways. - Pierce Brosnan
see also Irish, Little Johnny & St. Patrick’s Day Sections
Going Green for Ireland
Green Beards
Irish Alzheimers
Irish Bar
Irish Birth Control
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Drink
Irish Exam
Irish Flood
Irish Rugby Fans
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Virgin
Irish Weather Forecasting
St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
St. Patrick’s Day Riddles
St. Patrick’s Dog
Swimming Buddies
Teddy Bear Dance
The Fert
What’s Under The Kilt?
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30-Oct-2020 |