Little Leprechaun

Irish ingenuity

What happens when you scare a national legend


Little Johnny asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, so she said yes. When he went to wipe his fanny, there was no toilet paper... so he used his hand.

When he got back to class, his teacher asked, “What do you have in your hand?”
Little Johnny said, “A little leprechaun, and if I open my hand he’ll get scared away.”

He was then sent to the principals office and the principal asked him, “What do you have in your hand?”
So Little Johnny said, “A little leprechaun, and if I open my hands he’ll get scared away.”

He was then sent home and his Mom asked him, “What do you have in your hand?”
So Little Johnny said, “Mom, it’s a little leprechaun, and if I open my hands he’ll get scared away.”

He was sent to his room until his Dad came in and said, “What do you have in your hand?”
So again Little Johnny said, “A little leprechaun, and if I open my hands he’ll get scared away.”
Then his Dad got really mad and yelled, “Open your hands NOW!”

And Little Johnny said, “Oh great Dad, now look what you did - you scared the crap out of him!”

QuotaBills
No man is an Ireland. - Richard Daley

Everyone is wise until he speaks. - Irish Drinking Toast

Paddy O Furniture: Irish lawn chairs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm just a true Irish boy at heart. - Colin Farrell

To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy

Yes, I am an Irish lass through and through. - Erin Andrews

Ireland is the old sow that eats her farrow. - James Joyce

The Danes and the Irish have a great simpatico. - Pierce Brosnan

Our Irish blunders are never blunders of the heart. - Maria Edgeworth

My dad's Irish music was such a huge influence. - Dido Armstrong

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

Where would the Irish be without someone to be Irish at? - Elizabeth Bowen

The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

My Irish derivation has nothing to do with me. Why should it? - Carroll O'Connor

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

I'm from durable stock. I'm made to work. I'm Irish. - Mary McCormack

God is good to the Irish, but no one else is; not even the Irish. - Unknown

Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett

Irish Americans are no more Irish than Black Americans are Africans. - Bob Geldof

Even when they have nothing, the Irish emit a kind of happiness, a joy. - Fiona Shaw

The Irish are a very fair people, they never speak well of one another. - Unknown

Being Irish is very much a part of who I am. I take it everywhere with me. - Colin Farrell

The Irish and British, they love satire, it's a large part of the culture. - Ben Nicholson

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey

Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse

I think the genetics of being Irish are that you sort of prefer when it's rainy and cloudy. - Kate Flannery

I'm proud of my Irish heritage and culture and this show will feature a lot of Irish dancing. - Michael Flatley

The problem with being Irish is having 'Riverdance' on your back. It's a burden at times. - Roddy Doyle

Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy. - William Butler Yeats

"Burn everything British," he once advised his Irish countrymen, "except their coal." - Jonathan Swift

That's the Irish people all over - they treat a joke as a serious thing, and a serious thing as a joke. - Sean O'Casey

I was freelancing for years in Cork and around. I also wrote freelance pieces for 'The Irish Times.' - Kevin Barry

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

May you always walk in sunshine. May you never want for more. May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door. - Irish Blessings

We've never been cool, we're hot. Irish people are Italians who can't dress, Jamaicans who can't dance. - Bono

For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown


see also   Irish,  Little Johnny  &  St. Patrick’s Day   Sections
Going Green for Ireland
Green Beards
Irish Alzheimers
Irish Bar
Irish Birth Control
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Drink
Irish Exam
Irish Flood
Irish Rugby Fans
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Virgin
Irish Weather Forecasting
St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
St. Patrick’s Day Riddles
St. Patrick’s Dog
Swimming Buddies
Teddy Bear Dance
The Fert
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21-Jan-2021