Understanding Women

Genie in a bottle - one wish 4U...


A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden, he said out loud, “Lord grant me one wish.” Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, “Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.”

The man said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want.”

The Lord said, “Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honour and glorify me.”

The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, “Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say “nothing”, and how I can make a woman truly happy.”

The Lord replied, “You want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge?”


QuotaBills
Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

Assumptions are the termites of relationships. - Henry Winkler

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

Love is a fair garden, and marriage a field of nettles. - Finnish Proverb

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

A bachelor is one who enjoys the chase but does not eat the game. - Unknown

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

I love romance. I'm a sucker for it. I love it so much. It's pathetic. - Drew Barrymore

People who have good relationships at home are more effective in the marketplace. - Zig Ziglar

Peppering your relationship with a dash of mystery can make it far more palatable. - Khang K. Nguyen

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. - Irwin Corey

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

A good marriage was one in which each person thought he or she was getting the better deal. - Anne Lamott

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever. - Helen Rowland

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

I have a great relationship with the blacks. I've always had a great relationship with the blacks. - Donald Trump

Romance is thinking about your significant other, when you are supposed to be thinking about something else. - Nicholas Sparks

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. - Judith Viorst


see also   Genie  &  Relationship  Sections
Understanding Women - Pocket Edition

A Mother’s Love
A Woman’s Mind
Bedside Non-Assistance
Before Online Dating
Everything Men Know About Women
Hormone Guide
Keyboard Wedding
Looking For Your Wife?
Looking Small
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
The Origin of the White Wedding Dress
When Men Shop For Groceries
Will To Live
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

Shimmy Car-nage

Sand Dive

Break Glass Adventure

Chinese Chicken Nuggets

Desert Road Bumps

Subway Swing

Fish Eye Lens

Horse Mask

Chocolate Filling

Mea Culpa Road

Pool Painters

Cocoon Stage

Eye For Coffee

Like No Udder

Egyptian Pyramid Scheme
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09-Apr-2020