Prize Rooster

Roosters with tiny bells


My uncle John was in the fertilized egg business when I was young. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and 8 or 10 roosters whose job was to fertilize the eggs. My uncle kept records and any rooster or pullet that didn’t perform well went into the pot and was replaced.

Now this took an awful lot of time. So my uncle got a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by listening to the bells. My uncle’s favorite rooster was old Brewster. A very fine specimen he was, but his bell had not rung all morning. Uncle John went to investigate. Several roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-ringing, but Brewster had his bell in his beak so it couldn’t ring. He’d sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

Uncle was so proud of Brewster he entered him in the county fair. Brewster was an overnight sensation. The judges not only awarded him the No Bell Prize, but also the Pullet Surprise.


QuotaBills
The name Pavlov rings a bell. - Unknown

Farmers are the salt of the earth. - Unknown

Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb

I take my vacation on the combine and tractor. - Jon Tester

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. - Unknown

The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup. - Bob Hope

Do not count your chickens before they are hatched. - Aesop

I had rather be on my farm than be emperor of the world. - George Washington

Trying to squash a rumor is like trying to unring a bell. - Shana Alexander

There's going to be a real ding-dong when the bell goes. - David Coleman

Farmers: Men successful only if they sell their farms to golf clubs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, farm boy. - Han Solo

Gentleman Farmer: One who has more hay in the bank thank in the barn - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We better not, ya know, kill our chickens before they cross the road. - Archie Bunker

If you want chicken soup, you've got to put a chicken in the pot. - Joe Segal

It was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times. - Unknown

The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer. - Will Rodgers

We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen

Never knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run away. Death hates that. - Matt Frewer

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem

I used to practice my speeches on my tractor while I plowed my daddy's field. - Jim Hunt

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

Underachiever: An employee who has squatters right on the far left side of the bell curve - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens? - Seymour Cray

If a farmer fills his barn with grain, he gets mice; if he leaves it empty, he gets actors. - Bill Vaughan

Of all sound of all bells... most solemn and touching is the peal which rings out the Old Year. - Charles Lamb

Life on a farm is a school of patience. You can't hurry the crops or make an ox in two days. - Haneri Liogier

The first farmer was the first man, and all historic nobility rests on possession and use of land. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland

I want the pilot flying me up in the air at 30,000 feet to make more than a guy working at Taco Bell. - Michael Moore

If the rain spoils our picnic, but saves a farmer's crop, who are we to say it shouldn't rain? - Tom Barrett

When tillage begins, other arts follow. The farmers, therefore, are the founders of human civilization. - Daniel Webster

Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil and you're a thousand miles from the corn field. - Dwight D Eisenhower

Some wish to live within the sound of church or chapel bell; I want to run a rescue shop within a yard of hell. - C.T. Studd

Poverty is an anomaly to rich people. It is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell. - Walter Bagehot

A rooster crows only when it sees the light. Put him in the dark and he'll never crow. I have seen the light and I'm crowing. - Muhammad Ali

I dream of the realization of the unity of Africa, whereby its leaders combine in their efforts to solve the problems of this continent. - Nelson Mandela

It's life, isn't it? You plow ahead and make a hit. And you plow on and someone passes you. Then someone passes them. Time levels. - Katharine Hepburn

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin


see also   Farm  Section
Cat Nap
Chick Incubator
Family Reunion
Flamingo Imposter
Hen Pecked
Mom Lookout
Once Is Never Enough
Rooster Retirement
Super Hen

 

New York's Morning Cup of Java

Pole Position

Before Political Correctness

Tooth Loss

Organic Compromise

Classic Ballet Ad

Redneck Air Conditioning Controls

End Of World Car Sale

Digging Up A Date

Tomato Sprouts

Shuttle Bus Driver

Tight FM Bandwidth

Boat Hurdles

Sign Model

In Stock Guarantee

Microslave: You're Not Going Anywhere Today

Homing Pigeon Sale

Extra Weight

Proof of Global Warming

Colgate Advertising Campaign
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

02-Dec-2021