Prize Rooster

Roosters with tiny bells


My uncle John was in the fertilized egg business when I was young. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and 8 or 10 roosters whose job was to fertilize the eggs. My uncle kept records and any rooster or pullet that didn’t perform well went into the pot and was replaced.

Now this took an awful lot of time. So my uncle got a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by listening to the bells. My uncle’s favorite rooster was old Brewster. A very fine specimen he was, but his bell had not rung all morning. Uncle John went to investigate. Several roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-ringing, but Brewster had his bell in his beak so it couldn’t ring. He’d sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

Uncle was so proud of Brewster he entered him in the county fair. Brewster was an overnight sensation. The judges not only awarded him the No Bell Prize, but also the Pullet Surprise.


QuotaBills
Farmers are the salt of the earth. - Unknown

Let's make hay while it lasts. - James Lovelock

Deviled Eggs: What wicked chickens lay - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm too drunk to taste this chicken. - Colonel Sanders

The thicker the hay, the easier it is mowed. - Alaric the Goth

Maybe I should just go home and ride my tractor. - Chuck Grassley

Do not count your chickens before they are hatched. - Aesop

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? - George Carlin

Trying to squash a rumor is like trying to unring a bell. - Shana Alexander

Eating and reading are two pleasures that combine admirably. - C S Lewis

No farmer ever plowed a field by turning it over in his mind. - George E. Woodbury

Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, farm boy. - Han Solo

Gentleman Farmer: One who has more hay in the bank thank in the barn - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We better not, ya know, kill our chickens before they cross the road. - Archie Bunker

Work and pray, live on hay, you'll get pie in the sky when you die. - Joe Hill

A good farmer is nothing more nor less than a handyman with a sense of humus. - E.B. White

I used to practice my speeches on my tractor while I plowed my daddy's field. - Jim Hunt

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

My mother is no spring chicken although she has got as many chemicals in her as one. - Edna Everage

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

Put one foot in front of the other and keep going. Put blinders on and plow right ahead. - George Lucas

Don't let your dreams rust! Listen to your youthful bells ringing loud inside of you. - Bernard Kelvin Clive

Genetic Engineering: A recent attempt to formalize what farmers have been doing all along. - Unknown

This momentous question, like a fire bell in the night, awakened and filled me with terror. - Thomas Jefferson

I unfortunately still crave chicken McNuggets and bacon, which is the meat candy of the world. - Katy Perry

In times of great stress or adversity, plow your anger and your energy into something positive. - Lee Iacocca

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland

I'm going to the Colonel next. I'm gonna get a big bucket of chicken chests and smashed potatoes. - Archie Bunker

Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil and you're a thousand miles from the corn field. - Dwight D Eisenhower

The attempt to combine wisdom and power has only rarely been successful, and then only for a short while. - Albert Einstein

I'm working on a second cookbook and am working on my love story, 'Black Heels to Tractor Wheels.' - Ree Drummond

I spend hours mowing the lawn in absolutely straight lines on my tractor. If it's not right, I do it again. - Britt Ekland

Any processed chicken from any place - I'll order it in a heartbeat. I'm very picky about my pork, though. - David Chang

Poverty is an anomaly to rich people. It is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell. - Walter Bagehot

The only difference between a pigeon and the American farmer today is that a pigeon can still make a deposit on a John Deere. - Jim Hightower

He who learns the rules of wisdom without conforming to them in his life is like a man who plows in his field but does not sow. - Saadi

I dream of the realization of the unity of Africa, whereby its leaders combine in their efforts to solve the problems of this continent. - Nelson Mandela

It's life, isn't it? You plow ahead and make a hit. And you plow on and someone passes you. Then someone passes them. Time levels. - Katharine Hepburn

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin


see also   Farm  Section
Cat Nap
Chick Incubator
Family Reunion
Flamingo Imposter
Hen Pecked
Mom Lookout
Once Is Never Enough
Rooster Retirement
Super Hen

 

Bright Bookshelf

Saddle Surprise

Politicians Be Like

Senior Aerobics

Foiled Again

Redneck Beer Hunter

Pair Produce

Potting Pot

Ice Cream Burqa

Dog Soother

Fourk

Women's Outhouse

Crocodile Floor

Hummer Carriage

Antler Switch Plate

Redneck Cotter Pin

Redneck Bulldozer

Your Fly Is Down

Chili Rub

Tire Rotation
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04-Jun-2020