My uncle John was in the fertilized egg business when I was young. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and 8 or 10 roosters whose job was to fertilize the eggs. My uncle kept records and any rooster or pullet that didn’t perform well went into the pot and was replaced.
Now this took an awful lot of time. So my uncle got a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by listening to the bells. My uncle’s favorite rooster was old Brewster. A very fine specimen he was, but his bell had not rung all morning. Uncle John went to investigate. Several roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-ringing, but Brewster had his bell in his beak so it couldn’t ring. He’d sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.
Uncle was so proud of Brewster he entered him in the county fair. Brewster was an overnight sensation. The judges not only awarded him the No Bell Prize, but also the Pullet Surprise.
The name Pavlov rings a bell. - Unknown
Let's make hay while it lasts. - James Lovelock
The thicker the hay, the easier it is mowed. - Alaric the Goth
I take my vacation on the combine and tractor. - Jon Tester
Maybe I should just go home and ride my tractor. - Chuck Grassley
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? - George Carlin
Trying to squash a rumor is like trying to unring a bell. - Shana Alexander
I drove a tractor almost as soon as I could reach the pedals. - Sheri L. Dew
A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. - Unknown
Corn can't expect justice from a court composed of chickens. - African Proverb
Writing is conscience, scruple, and the farming of our ancestors. - Edward Dahlberg
It was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times. - Unknown
Work and pray, live on hay, you'll get pie in the sky when you die. - Joe Hill
We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen
Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?" - Steven Wright
A good farmer is nothing more nor less than a handyman with a sense of humus. - E.B. White
I love my squirrel and dumplings, but you can make it with chicken and dumplings. - Kay Robertson
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, and you will pay only the station-to-station rate. - Unknown
Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson
Don't let your dreams rust! Listen to your youthful bells ringing loud inside of you. - Bernard Kelvin Clive
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens? - Seymour Cray
Genetic Engineering: A recent attempt to formalize what farmers have been doing all along. - Unknown
This momentous question, like a fire bell in the night, awakened and filled me with terror. - Thomas Jefferson
I unfortunately still crave chicken McNuggets and bacon, which is the meat candy of the world. - Katy Perry
The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow
My brother thinks he's a chicken.
We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs. - Groucho Marx
The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown
Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland
True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. - Erich Segal
If the rain spoils our picnic, but saves a farmer's crop, who are we to say it shouldn't rain? - Tom Barrett
Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil and you're a thousand miles from the corn field. - Dwight D Eisenhower
I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis
I spend hours mowing the lawn in absolutely straight lines on my tractor. If it's not right, I do it again. - Britt Ekland
Poverty is an anomaly to rich people. It is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell. - Walter Bagehot
Bruce Lee's fast pace, Jet Li's pretty style and Jet Li's acrobatics combine with Muay Thai for my own style. - Tony Jaa
He who learns the rules of wisdom without conforming to them in his life is like a man who plows in his field but does not sow. - Saadi
I dream of the realization of the unity of Africa, whereby its leaders combine in their efforts to solve the problems of this continent. - Nelson Mandela
What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell
Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin
Let's make hay while it lasts. - James Lovelock
The thicker the hay, the easier it is mowed. - Alaric the Goth
I take my vacation on the combine and tractor. - Jon Tester
Maybe I should just go home and ride my tractor. - Chuck Grassley
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? - George Carlin
Trying to squash a rumor is like trying to unring a bell. - Shana Alexander
I drove a tractor almost as soon as I could reach the pedals. - Sheri L. Dew
A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. - Unknown
Corn can't expect justice from a court composed of chickens. - African Proverb
Writing is conscience, scruple, and the farming of our ancestors. - Edward Dahlberg
It was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times. - Unknown
Work and pray, live on hay, you'll get pie in the sky when you die. - Joe Hill
We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen
Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?" - Steven Wright
A good farmer is nothing more nor less than a handyman with a sense of humus. - E.B. White
I love my squirrel and dumplings, but you can make it with chicken and dumplings. - Kay Robertson
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, and you will pay only the station-to-station rate. - Unknown
Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson
Don't let your dreams rust! Listen to your youthful bells ringing loud inside of you. - Bernard Kelvin Clive
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens? - Seymour Cray
Genetic Engineering: A recent attempt to formalize what farmers have been doing all along. - Unknown
This momentous question, like a fire bell in the night, awakened and filled me with terror. - Thomas Jefferson
I unfortunately still crave chicken McNuggets and bacon, which is the meat candy of the world. - Katy Perry
The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow
My brother thinks he's a chicken.
We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs. - Groucho Marx
The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown
Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland
True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. - Erich Segal
If the rain spoils our picnic, but saves a farmer's crop, who are we to say it shouldn't rain? - Tom Barrett
Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil and you're a thousand miles from the corn field. - Dwight D Eisenhower
I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis
I spend hours mowing the lawn in absolutely straight lines on my tractor. If it's not right, I do it again. - Britt Ekland
Poverty is an anomaly to rich people. It is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell. - Walter Bagehot
Bruce Lee's fast pace, Jet Li's pretty style and Jet Li's acrobatics combine with Muay Thai for my own style. - Tony Jaa
He who learns the rules of wisdom without conforming to them in his life is like a man who plows in his field but does not sow. - Saadi
I dream of the realization of the unity of Africa, whereby its leaders combine in their efforts to solve the problems of this continent. - Nelson Mandela
What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell
Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin
see also Farm Section
Cat Nap
Chick Incubator
Family Reunion
Flamingo Imposter
Hen Pecked
Mom Lookout
Once Is Never Enough
Rooster Retirement
Super Hen
 Go Winterized |  Car Igloo |  Hen Pecked |  It's Movie Time |  In The Dog House |
 2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3) |  Diaper Change |  Palestinian Security Check |  Wurst-Case Scenario |  High-Rise Inifinity Pool |
 Winter Kayaking |  Balanced Family Life |  Closed Ahead |  Forgettable Fishing Trips |  I've Got Your Back |
 Dr Pepper Financing |  Wine Therapy |  Weakest Part |  Cycle Circles |  My New Diet |
20-Feb-2020 |