My uncle John was in the fertilized egg business when I was young. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and 8 or 10 roosters whose job was to fertilize the eggs. My uncle kept records and any rooster or pullet that didn’t perform well went into the pot and was replaced.
Now this took an awful lot of time. So my uncle got a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by listening to the bells. My uncle’s favorite rooster was old Brewster. A very fine specimen he was, but his bell had not rung all morning. Uncle John went to investigate. Several roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-ringing, but Brewster had his bell in his beak so it couldn’t ring. He’d sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.
Uncle was so proud of Brewster he entered him in the county fair. Brewster was an overnight sensation. The judges not only awarded him the No Bell Prize, but also the Pullet Surprise.
Farming is a profession of hope. - Brian Brett
Friccastewing a chicken on the hotplate - Archie Bunker
I'm too drunk to taste this chicken. - Colonel Sanders
The thicker the hay, the easier it is mowed. - Alaric the Goth
Maybe I should just go home and ride my tractor. - Chuck Grassley
The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup. - Bob Hope
Do not count your chickens before they are hatched. - Aesop
There's going to be a real ding-dong when the bell goes. - David Coleman
Eating and reading are two pleasures that combine admirably. - C S Lewis
A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. - Unknown
Writing is conscience, scruple, and the farming of our ancestors. - Edward Dahlberg
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn't cook it! - Gordon Ramsay
We better not, ya know, kill our chickens before they cross the road. - Archie Bunker
Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not. - Thomas Jefferson
It was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times. - Unknown
Work and pray, live on hay, you'll get pie in the sky when you die. - Joe Hill
Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?" - Steven Wright
I used to practice my speeches on my tractor while I plowed my daddy's field. - Jim Hunt
We need more young people involved in farming because the future needs real food. - Helena Sylvester
Anytime you suffer a setback or disappointment, put your head down and plow ahead. - Les Brown
Don't let your dreams rust! Listen to your youthful bells ringing loud inside of you. - Bernard Kelvin Clive
If a farmer fills his barn with grain, he gets mice; if he leaves it empty, he gets actors. - Bill Vaughan
This momentous question, like a fire bell in the night, awakened and filled me with terror. - Thomas Jefferson
I unfortunately still crave chicken McNuggets and bacon, which is the meat candy of the world. - Katy Perry
The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow
Life on a farm is a school of patience. You can't hurry the crops or make an ox in two days. - Haneri Liogier
It is only the farmer who faithfully plants seeds in the Spring, who reaps a harvest in the Autumn. - B C Forbes
True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. - Erich Segal
When tillage begins, other arts follow. The farmers, therefore, are the founders of human civilization. - Daniel Webster
The attempt to combine wisdom and power has only rarely been successful, and then only for a short while. - Albert Einstein
I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright
I'm working on a second cookbook and am working on my love story, 'Black Heels to Tractor Wheels.' - Ree Drummond
Poverty is an anomaly to rich people. It is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell. - Walter Bagehot
Bruce Lee's fast pace, Jet Li's pretty style and Jet Li's acrobatics combine with Muay Thai for my own style. - Tony Jaa
Tension: 1. The price you pay for being a race horse instead of a plow horse; 2. What the sergeant shouts to his soldiers. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The difference between involvement and commitment is like an eggs and ham breakfast: the chicken was involved, the pig was committed. - Unknown
It's life, isn't it? You plow ahead and make a hit. And you plow on and someone passes you. Then someone passes them. Time levels. - Katharine Hepburn
What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell
Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin
Friccastewing a chicken on the hotplate - Archie Bunker
I'm too drunk to taste this chicken. - Colonel Sanders
The thicker the hay, the easier it is mowed. - Alaric the Goth
Maybe I should just go home and ride my tractor. - Chuck Grassley
The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup. - Bob Hope
Do not count your chickens before they are hatched. - Aesop
There's going to be a real ding-dong when the bell goes. - David Coleman
Eating and reading are two pleasures that combine admirably. - C S Lewis
A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. - Unknown
Writing is conscience, scruple, and the farming of our ancestors. - Edward Dahlberg
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn't cook it! - Gordon Ramsay
We better not, ya know, kill our chickens before they cross the road. - Archie Bunker
Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not. - Thomas Jefferson
It was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times. - Unknown
Work and pray, live on hay, you'll get pie in the sky when you die. - Joe Hill
Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?" - Steven Wright
I used to practice my speeches on my tractor while I plowed my daddy's field. - Jim Hunt
We need more young people involved in farming because the future needs real food. - Helena Sylvester
Anytime you suffer a setback or disappointment, put your head down and plow ahead. - Les Brown
Don't let your dreams rust! Listen to your youthful bells ringing loud inside of you. - Bernard Kelvin Clive
If a farmer fills his barn with grain, he gets mice; if he leaves it empty, he gets actors. - Bill Vaughan
This momentous question, like a fire bell in the night, awakened and filled me with terror. - Thomas Jefferson
I unfortunately still crave chicken McNuggets and bacon, which is the meat candy of the world. - Katy Perry
The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow
Life on a farm is a school of patience. You can't hurry the crops or make an ox in two days. - Haneri Liogier
It is only the farmer who faithfully plants seeds in the Spring, who reaps a harvest in the Autumn. - B C Forbes
True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. - Erich Segal
When tillage begins, other arts follow. The farmers, therefore, are the founders of human civilization. - Daniel Webster
The attempt to combine wisdom and power has only rarely been successful, and then only for a short while. - Albert Einstein
I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright
I'm working on a second cookbook and am working on my love story, 'Black Heels to Tractor Wheels.' - Ree Drummond
Poverty is an anomaly to rich people. It is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell. - Walter Bagehot
Bruce Lee's fast pace, Jet Li's pretty style and Jet Li's acrobatics combine with Muay Thai for my own style. - Tony Jaa
Tension: 1. The price you pay for being a race horse instead of a plow horse; 2. What the sergeant shouts to his soldiers. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The difference between involvement and commitment is like an eggs and ham breakfast: the chicken was involved, the pig was committed. - Unknown
It's life, isn't it? You plow ahead and make a hit. And you plow on and someone passes you. Then someone passes them. Time levels. - Katharine Hepburn
What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell
Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin
see also Farm Section
Cat Nap
Chick Incubator
Family Reunion
Flamingo Imposter
Hen Pecked
Mom Lookout
Once Is Never Enough
Rooster Retirement
Super Hen
 Open Drive Through |  Secret Revealed |  Tired Flagpole |  Bent Car Sculpture |  Cow Jacket |
 Thanks For Noticing |  Overflow Truck Garden |  Beach Sign Training |  Encouraging Seal |  GMC Pool |
 Nature Calls |  You're Home Early |  New Nail Gun |  Long Noodles |  EMS Upgrade |
 No Pot Of Gold |  Graduation Swag |  Monkeypox |  Pre-Dinner Photography |  Curses, Foiled Again |
24-May-2022 |