My uncle John was in the fertilized egg business when I was young. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and 8 or 10 roosters whose job was to fertilize the eggs. My uncle kept records and any rooster or pullet that didn’t perform well went into the pot and was replaced.
Now this took an awful lot of time. So my uncle got a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by listening to the bells. My uncle’s favorite rooster was old Brewster. A very fine specimen he was, but his bell had not rung all morning. Uncle John went to investigate. Several roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-ringing, but Brewster had his bell in his beak so it couldn’t ring. He’d sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.
Uncle was so proud of Brewster he entered him in the county fair. Brewster was an overnight sensation. The judges not only awarded him the No Bell Prize, but also the Pullet Surprise.
The name Pavlov rings a bell. - Unknown
Farmers are the salt of the earth. - Unknown
Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb
I take my vacation on the combine and tractor. - Jon Tester
Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. - Unknown
The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup. - Bob Hope
Do not count your chickens before they are hatched. - Aesop
I had rather be on my farm than be emperor of the world. - George Washington
Trying to squash a rumor is like trying to unring a bell. - Shana Alexander
There's going to be a real ding-dong when the bell goes. - David Coleman
Farmers: Men successful only if they sell their farms to golf clubs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, farm boy. - Han Solo
Gentleman Farmer: One who has more hay in the bank thank in the barn - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
We better not, ya know, kill our chickens before they cross the road. - Archie Bunker
If you want chicken soup, you've got to put a chicken in the pot. - Joe Segal
It was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times. - Unknown
The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer. - Will Rodgers
We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen
Never knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run away. Death hates that. - Matt Frewer
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem
I used to practice my speeches on my tractor while I plowed my daddy's field. - Jim Hunt
I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner
Underachiever: An employee who has squatters right on the far left side of the bell curve - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens? - Seymour Cray
If a farmer fills his barn with grain, he gets mice; if he leaves it empty, he gets actors. - Bill Vaughan
Of all sound of all bells... most solemn and touching is the peal which rings out the Old Year. - Charles Lamb
Life on a farm is a school of patience. You can't hurry the crops or make an ox in two days. - Haneri Liogier
The first farmer was the first man, and all historic nobility rests on possession and use of land. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown
Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland
I want the pilot flying me up in the air at 30,000 feet to make more than a guy working at Taco Bell. - Michael Moore
If the rain spoils our picnic, but saves a farmer's crop, who are we to say it shouldn't rain? - Tom Barrett
When tillage begins, other arts follow. The farmers, therefore, are the founders of human civilization. - Daniel Webster
Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil and you're a thousand miles from the corn field. - Dwight D Eisenhower
Some wish to live within the sound of church or chapel bell; I want to run a rescue shop within a yard of hell. - C.T. Studd
Poverty is an anomaly to rich people. It is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell. - Walter Bagehot
A rooster crows only when it sees the light. Put him in the dark and he'll never crow. I have seen the light and I'm crowing. - Muhammad Ali
I dream of the realization of the unity of Africa, whereby its leaders combine in their efforts to solve the problems of this continent. - Nelson Mandela
It's life, isn't it? You plow ahead and make a hit. And you plow on and someone passes you. Then someone passes them. Time levels. - Katharine Hepburn
Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin
Farmers are the salt of the earth. - Unknown
Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb
I take my vacation on the combine and tractor. - Jon Tester
Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. - Unknown
The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup. - Bob Hope
Do not count your chickens before they are hatched. - Aesop
I had rather be on my farm than be emperor of the world. - George Washington
Trying to squash a rumor is like trying to unring a bell. - Shana Alexander
There's going to be a real ding-dong when the bell goes. - David Coleman
Farmers: Men successful only if they sell their farms to golf clubs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, farm boy. - Han Solo
Gentleman Farmer: One who has more hay in the bank thank in the barn - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
We better not, ya know, kill our chickens before they cross the road. - Archie Bunker
If you want chicken soup, you've got to put a chicken in the pot. - Joe Segal
It was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times. - Unknown
The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer. - Will Rodgers
We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen
Never knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run away. Death hates that. - Matt Frewer
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem
I used to practice my speeches on my tractor while I plowed my daddy's field. - Jim Hunt
I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner
Underachiever: An employee who has squatters right on the far left side of the bell curve - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens? - Seymour Cray
If a farmer fills his barn with grain, he gets mice; if he leaves it empty, he gets actors. - Bill Vaughan
Of all sound of all bells... most solemn and touching is the peal which rings out the Old Year. - Charles Lamb
Life on a farm is a school of patience. You can't hurry the crops or make an ox in two days. - Haneri Liogier
The first farmer was the first man, and all historic nobility rests on possession and use of land. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown
Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland
I want the pilot flying me up in the air at 30,000 feet to make more than a guy working at Taco Bell. - Michael Moore
If the rain spoils our picnic, but saves a farmer's crop, who are we to say it shouldn't rain? - Tom Barrett
When tillage begins, other arts follow. The farmers, therefore, are the founders of human civilization. - Daniel Webster
Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil and you're a thousand miles from the corn field. - Dwight D Eisenhower
Some wish to live within the sound of church or chapel bell; I want to run a rescue shop within a yard of hell. - C.T. Studd
Poverty is an anomaly to rich people. It is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell. - Walter Bagehot
A rooster crows only when it sees the light. Put him in the dark and he'll never crow. I have seen the light and I'm crowing. - Muhammad Ali
I dream of the realization of the unity of Africa, whereby its leaders combine in their efforts to solve the problems of this continent. - Nelson Mandela
It's life, isn't it? You plow ahead and make a hit. And you plow on and someone passes you. Then someone passes them. Time levels. - Katharine Hepburn
Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin
see also Farm Section
Cat Nap
Chick Incubator
Family Reunion
Flamingo Imposter
Hen Pecked
Mom Lookout
Once Is Never Enough
Rooster Retirement
Super Hen
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02-Dec-2021 |