1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.
2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? A) ’66 Ford Fairlane B) ’69 Chevrolet Chevelle C) ’64 Pontiac GTO
3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary to condense the product?
4. A woodcutter has a chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweiser Tallboys will it take to cut the trees?
5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the decrease in the ozone layer?
6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1 inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?
7. A man owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has 5 children. Can each of the children place a mobile home on the man’s land?
8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding down a steep grade on a secondary road at 45 mph. The brakes fail. Given the average traffic loading of secondary roads, how many people will swerve to avoid the truck before it crashes at the bottom of the mountain?
* For extra credit, how many of the vehicles that swerved will have mufflers and uncracked windshields?
9. A coal mine operates an NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?
10. How many generations will it take before cattle develop two legs shorter than the others because of grazing along a mountainside?
11. At a reduction in gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town that has been bypassed by the interstate to breed a country-western singer?
How Rednecks succeed at College
Engineering with fabric. - Jean Muir
See if he passed the literaracy test. - Archie Bunker
Architecture begins where engineering ends. - Walter Gropius
The writer is the engineer of the human soul. - Joseph Stalin
Most every dental school has discount dental services. - Matthew Lesko
I'll take a drug test, if you'll take an IQ test. - Fritz Hollings
The best intelligence test is what we do with our leisure. - Laurence J. Peter
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal. - Sigfried Hulzer
I don't want to send them to jail. I want to send them to school. - Adlai Stevenson
I will study and prepare myself… and someday my chance will come. - Abraham Lincoln
College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel
The test of a man or woman's breeding is how they behave in a quarrel. - George Bernard Shaw
High school is a lot like toilet paper: you only miss it when it's gone. - Unknown
I'm not buying my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did. - Yogi Berra
I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence
Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first and the lesson after. - Vernon S Law
A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year. - Marty Allen
Scientists discover the world that exists; engineers create the world that never was. - Theodore von Karman
The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness. - Robert M. Hutchins
I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son's school overcome a learning disability. - Jason Alexander
When I got outta High School I was driving a truck. I was just a poor boy from Memphis. - Elvis Presley
I must study politics and war that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. - John Adams
This is the first test of a gentleman: his respect for those who can be of no possible value to him. - William Lyon Phelps
We lawyers learn to study the faces of our witnesses, to form quick judgments, and to act upon them. - Lyman Abbott
I learned law so well, the day I graduated I used the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. - Fred Allen
True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country. - Kurt Vonnegut
Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns
I will only hire someone to work directly for me if I would work for that person. It's a pretty good test. - Mark Zuckerberg
Aftermath: 1. The period following algebra; 2. The horrible headache you have when you've finished the algebra test. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Not every puzzle is intended to be solved. Some are in place to test your limits. Others are, in fact, not puzzles at all. - Vera Nazarian
If you study a subject every day, for one hour a day, for five days a week - in five years you will become an expert in that area. - Earl Nightingale
A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh. - Conan O'Brien
When I finished school, I took one of those career-aptitude tests, and based on my verbal ability score, they suggested I become a mime. - Tim Cavanagh
I love to play hide and seek with my kid, but some days my goal is to find a hiding place where he can't find me until after high school. - Unknown
I was named the Class Clown in the high school yearbook, so I was always turning to comedy and laughter to heal and to get me through things. - Guillermo Diaz
I tell them that if they will occupy themselves with the study of mathematics they will find it the best remedy against the lusts of the flesh. - Thomas Mann
Whenever you are embarrassed, just remember that in 1999 NASA destroyed a $655 Million project because the engineers mistook kilograms and pounds. - Unknown
Historically the family has played the primary role in educating children for life, with the school providing supplemental scaffolding to the family. - Stephen Covey
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam. - George Carlin
In this knowledge-worker age, it's now increasingly tied to doing well in school so you can get into better grad schools so you can get better jobs - so the pressure to do well is really high. - Stephen Covey
College, Engineering & Redneck Sections
Anything To Pass The Exam
Apocryphal Metaphors from Student Essays
Children’s Science Exam Answers
Inspiring School Exams
Men's Wedding Photos
Help For Dead Children
Canine Golf Caddy
Dubai Ski Hill
Eat Your Vegetables
Spill Proof Cup
Balanced Food Delivery
Gone To Market