Cannibalizing The Useful Staff

Corporate Cannibals


A large corporation recently hired several cannibals.

“You are all part of our team now,” said the HR rep during the welcoming briefing. “You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please - don’t eat any of the other employees.”
The cannibals promised they would not.

Four weeks later their boss remarked, “You’re all working very hard, and I’m satisfied with your work. However, one of our secretaries has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?”

The cannibals all shook their heads no. After the boss had left, the leader of the cannibals said to the others, “Which one of you morons ate the secretary?”

A hand rose hesitantly.

“You fool,” the leader continued. “For four weeks we’ve been eating managers and no one noticed anything. But NO-OOOOO… you had to go and eat someone important!”


QuotaBills
Joy is the serious business of Heaven. - C S Lewis

Strong people don't need strong leaders. - Ella Baker

I must follow my people. Am I not their leader? - Benjamin Disraeli

Now I know what a ghost is. Unfinished business. - Salman Rushdie

Greatness is a road leading towards the unknown. - Charles de Gaulle

It's every man's business to see justice done. - Arthur Conan Doyle

In any business, the number-one competitor is inertia. - Dave Chilton

Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other. - John F Kennedy

Leadership does not always wear the harness of compromise. - Woodrow Wilson

The only way I can get a leading-man role is if I write it. - John Cleese

We need a leader that wrote "The Art of the Deal". - Donald Trump

Would you want to do business with a person who was 99% honest? - Sydney Madwed

The true test of leadership is how well you function in a crisis. - Brian Tracy

Followers will never know how hard the leader tries to create a path. - Unknown

To be successful in show business, all you need are fifty good breaks. - Walter Matthau

Stories are the single most powerful weapon in a leader's arsenal. - Howard Gardner

When a business decides that success has been attained, progress stops. - Thomas Watson

I am not yet ready to be czar. I know nothing of the business of ruling. - Nicholas II

To err is human. To blame it on somebody else shows management potential. - Unknown

Being positive in a negative situation is not naive, it's leadership. - Ralph Marston

Whenever you see a successful business, someone once made a courageous decision. - Peter F Drucker

As we look ahead into the next century, leaders will be those who empower others. - Bill Gates

Business is so bad, even the accounts that don't intend to pay ain't buying. - Unknown

The best leaders incentivize, inspire and empower their teams to be creative and innovative. - Michael Bloomberg

The gambling known as business looks with severe disfavor upon the business known as gambling. - Ambrose Bierce

The task of the leader is to get their people from where they are to where they have not been. - Henry Kissinger

Leadership is the art of getting others to want to do something you are convinced should be done. - Vance Packard

Be passionate about the culture and the business, and remain positive, because it inspires others. - Barry Libert

One of the most important tasks of a manager is to eliminate his people's excuses for failure. - Robert Townsend

One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow

Business is a sprint until you find an opportunity, then it's the patience of a marathon runner. - Robert Herjavec

There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. You can't do any business from there. - Colonel Harland Sanders

Great leaders are not defined by the absence of weakness, but rather by the presence of clear strengths. - John Zenger

I believe that if ever I had to practice cannibalism, I might manage if there were enough tarragon around. - James Beard

It doesn't take a majority to make a rebellion; it takes only a few determined leaders and a sound cause. - H L Mencken

A good manager is a man who isn't worried about his own career but the careers of those who work for him. - H.M.S. Burns

The best leaders identify what promises they are being held to, manage expectations, and honor those promises. - Bob Anderson

Becoming a leader is synonymous with becoming yourself. It is precisely that simple and it is also that difficult. - Warren Bennis

No one has timing like Milton Berle. He has absolutely the finest timing of any comedian in the business. There's no one like him. - Sid Caesar

A leader is best when people barely know that he exists. When his work is done and his aim fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.' - Lao Tzu


see also   Business  Section
Canada - World Leader of Northern-ness
Cheerless Leader
College in a Nutshell
Dog Marathon
Duckling Dog
Follow The Leader
How Is Your Day Going?
Indian Weather Forecasting
Leading a Remote Life
Leading By Example
Moroff Manager
Ring Leader
Self Confidence
Street Cheerleader
Yoga Leadership

 

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02-Dec-2020