A patient steps into the proctologist’s office for his first exam. The Doctor told him to have a seat in the examination room and that he would be with him in just a few minutes.
When the man sat down and began observing the tools. He noticed there were three items on a stand next to the exam table: a tube of K-Y jelly, a rubber glove, and a beer.
When the Doctor finally came in the man said, “Look Doc, I’m a little confused. This is my first exam. I know what the K-Y is for, and I know what the glove is for, but can you tell me what the BEER is for?”
At that the Doctor became noticeably outraged and stormed over to the the door. The doc flung the door open and yelled to his nurse... “Darnit, Catherine - I said a BUTT LIGHT!”
Asphalt: Rectum trouble. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut
The sexual act was never constipated. - Archie Bunker
College is a refuge from hasty judgment. - Robert Frost
Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen
I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly
Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V
Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown
I've won at every level, except college and pro. - Shaquille O'Neal
I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. - Mark Twain
You can lead a boy to college but you cannot make him think. - Elbert Hubbard
A college education shows a man how little other people know. - T.C. Hailburton
The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley
There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini
URL: What you don't want the doc to say at your yearly exam - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Those who go to college and never get out are called professors. - George Givot
I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald
Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie
Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown
College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel
College Education: A four-year plan for confusing a young mind methodically. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick
When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell
There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland
I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope
Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
If a young person has any idealism at all, it's strongest about the time he finishes college. - Sargent Shriver
Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon
I learned law so well, the day I graduated I used the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. - Fred Allen
I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw
You don't have to be a genius or a visionary or even a college graduate to be successful. You just need a framework and a dream. - Michael Dell
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner
A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair
All of my friends who have younger siblings who are going to college or high school - my number one piece of advice is: You should learn how to program. - Mark Zuckerberg
Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man's lifetime income - which he then spends sending his son to college. - Bill Vaughan
Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated. - Garry Trudeau
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam. - George Carlin
I wish I had thrown out the bathroom scale at age 16. Weighing yourself every morning is like waking up and asking Dick Cheney to validate your sense of inner worth. - Anne Lamott
We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut
The sexual act was never constipated. - Archie Bunker
College is a refuge from hasty judgment. - Robert Frost
Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen
I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly
Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V
Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown
I've won at every level, except college and pro. - Shaquille O'Neal
I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. - Mark Twain
You can lead a boy to college but you cannot make him think. - Elbert Hubbard
A college education shows a man how little other people know. - T.C. Hailburton
The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley
There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini
URL: What you don't want the doc to say at your yearly exam - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Those who go to college and never get out are called professors. - George Givot
I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald
Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie
Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown
College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel
College Education: A four-year plan for confusing a young mind methodically. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick
When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell
There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland
I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope
Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
If a young person has any idealism at all, it's strongest about the time he finishes college. - Sargent Shriver
Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon
I learned law so well, the day I graduated I used the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. - Fred Allen
I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw
You don't have to be a genius or a visionary or even a college graduate to be successful. You just need a framework and a dream. - Michael Dell
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner
A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair
All of my friends who have younger siblings who are going to college or high school - my number one piece of advice is: You should learn how to program. - Mark Zuckerberg
Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man's lifetime income - which he then spends sending his son to college. - Bill Vaughan
Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated. - Garry Trudeau
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam. - George Carlin
I wish I had thrown out the bathroom scale at age 16. Weighing yourself every morning is like waking up and asking Dick Cheney to validate your sense of inner worth. - Anne Lamott
see also Doctor Section
Acceptable Doctors Sign
Colon Celery
Colorectal Exam For Dogs
Colorectal Surgeon Praise
Constipated Mathematician
Dog Proctologist
Fart Facts
German Flatulence Control
Menopause Sucks
One Wee Scottish Farty
Proctologist Call
Proctologist’s Second-Hand Prescription
Psychiatrist’s Patient Advice
Singing Gynecologist
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20-Sep-2021 |