Little Johnny’s Worm Experiment

Ask Johnny where the experiment went wrong


Little Johnny watched the science teacher start an experiment with worms.

Four worms were placed into four separate jars:
The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a jar of sperm.
The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil.

After one day, these were the results:
The first worm in alcohol - dead.
Second worm in cigarette smoke - dead.
Third worm in sperm - dead.
Fourth worm in soil - alive.

So the Science teacher asked the class, “What can you learn from this experiment?”

Little Johnny quickly raised his hand and said, “As long as you drink, smoke and have sex, you won’t have worms.”




QuotaBills
All life is an experiment. - Oliver Wendell Homes Jr.

The early worm gets caught. - John Igo

The world is run by C students. - Al McGuire

A man must learn to forgive himself. - Arthur Davis Ficke

Education is a system of imposed ignorance. - Noam Chomsky

What we learn with pleasure we never forget. - Alfred Mercier

There is little you can learn from doing nothing. - Zig Ziglar

Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness. - Woody Allen

We are all worms, but I do believe I am a glow-worm. - Winston Churchill

Time goes by fast when you're avoiding homework. - Unknown

The hardest part of growing up is learning how to wait. - Leo Rosten

Men love to wonder, and that is the seed of our science. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

My joy in learning is partly that it enables me to teach. - Seneca

True science teaches, above all, to doubt and be ignorant. - Miguel de Unamuno

You can lead a boy to college but you cannot make him think. - Elbert Hubbard

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain

I had an Irish Catholic education. Horrible nuns, vindictive and cruel. - John Lydon

Our ability lies not in what we know but in what we are willing to learn. - Unknown

No science is immune to the infection of politics and the corruption of power. - Jacob Bronowski

Be open to learning new lessons even if they contradict the lessons you learned yesterday. - Ellen Degeners

I was the class clown so I was used to performing and fooling around in front of my friends. - Dominic Monaghan

The test and the use of man's education is that he finds pleasure in the exercise of his mind. - Jacques Martin Barzun

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I used the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. - Fred Allen

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country. - Kurt Vonnegut

Education can get you the only thing that really matters in today's world - an assigned parking space. - Gene Perret

Life is a classroom. Only those who are willing to be lifelong learners will move to the head of the class. - Zig Ziglar

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. - Mark Twain

To try and fail is at least to learn. To fail to try is to suffer the inestimable loss of what might have been. - Chester Bernard

Curious learning not only makes unpleasant things less unpleasant but also makes pleasant things more pleasant. - Bertrand Russell

The learning and knowledge that we have, is, at the most, but little compared with that of which we are ignorant. - Plato

Mistakes are the stepping stones to wisdom. We learn from trial and error; we become wise by understanding problems. - Leon Brown

All our science, measured against reality, is primitive and childlike - and yet it is the most precious thing we have. - Albert Einstein

You can only learn from the second-raters. The first-raters are out of range; you can't see how they get their effects. - Unknown

I try to learn from the past, but I plan for the future by focusing exclusively on the present. That's where the fun is. - Donald Trump

You don't have to be a genius or a visionary or even a college graduate to be successful. You just need a framework and a dream. - Michael Dell

I remind myself every morning: nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I'm going to learn, I must do it by listening. - Larry King

Never try to be better than someone else. Learn from others, and try to be the best you can be. Success is the by-product of that preparation. - John Wooden

Coaching is unlocking people's potential to maximize their own performance. It is more often helping them to learn rather than teaching them. - John Whitmore

In learning to know other things, and other minds, we become more intimately acquainted with ourselves, and are to ourselves better worth knowing. - Philip Gilbert Hamilton

Every job I do, I like to think it makes me better, or I learn things. It's all about how much something's going to stretch me or test me. - Daniel Radcliffe


see also   School  Section
Additions to the Periodic Table of Elements
Atom Trust
Children’s Science Exam Answers
Chimera Genetics
Comprehending Engineers
Einstein Seeds
Engine-eering
Famous Equations
Genetic Science
Hazardous Materials Data Sheet for Woman
Law of Emotion
Nitrate
Periodic Table Shower
Professor Kisses
Redneck Engineering Exam
Science Fiction Recipes
Science World
Scientific Hunting
Singapore SkyPark
The Ig Nobel Awards
Who Needs Physics?
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06-Jul-2020