Little Johnny’s Worm Experiment

Ask Johnny where the experiment went wrong

Little Johnny watched the science teacher start an experiment with worms.

Four worms were placed into four separate jars:
The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a jar of sperm.
The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil.

After one day, these were the results:
The first worm in alcohol - dead.
Second worm in cigarette smoke - dead.
Third worm in sperm - dead.
Fourth worm in soil - alive.

So the Science teacher asked the class, “What can you learn from this experiment?”

Little Johnny quickly raised his hand and said, “As long as you drink, smoke and have sex, you won’t have worms.”

To teach is to learn twice. - Joseph Joubert

Learn what you are and be such. - Pindar

We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Murdoch

Every runner is an experiment of one. - George Sheehan

Astrology is a disease, not a science. - Maimonides

The wisest mind has something yet to learn. - George Santanaya

Learn to let go. That is the key to happiness. - Buddha

Thought, unassisted by learning, is dangerous. - Confucius

When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. - Buddha

Life can be fun if you learn to enjoy the adventure. - Unknown

If you learn from defeat, you haven't really lost. - Zig Ziglar

Books have led some to learning and others to madness. - Petrarch

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction. - Steven Wright

The early bird gets the worm. The early worm gets eaten. - Norman Augustine

You ain't gonna learn what you don't wanna know. - Jerry Garcia

Let the others have the charisma. I've got the class. - George H.W. Bush

It was so hot today I saw a robin dipping his worm in Nestea. - Johnny Carson

He who has imagination without learning, has wings and no feet. - Joseph Joubert

I realized my mission in life was to learn more, not earn more. - Surya Das

Learn to value yourself, which means: fight for your happiness. - Ayn Rand

Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty. - Mark Twain

Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition. - Alan Turing

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. - Mahatma Gandhi

The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and let it come in. - Morrie Schwartz

We learn the most from imperfect relationships - things like forgiveness and compassion. - Andrea Thompson

There are no mistakes, no coincidences. All events are blessings given to us to learn from. - Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else. - Unknown

Everyone should experience defeat at least once during their career. You learn a lot from it. - Lou Holtz

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows. - Doug Larson

If a young person has any idealism at all, it's strongest about the time he finishes college. - Sargent Shriver

Football: A sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture - Daffynitions

I think every day is Groundhog's Day. I get to learn from my mistakes and be better every day. - Ashton Kutcher

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader. - John Quincy Adams

Bring me a worm that can comprehend a man, and then I will show you a man who can comprehend the triune God. - John Wesley

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

If you learn to listen for clues as to how I feel instead of what I say, you will be able to understand me much better. - Mara Botonis

It does not make any difference how beautiful your guess is if it disagrees with experiment it is wrong. That is all there is to it. - Richard P Feynman

If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can't do this. - Spencer Silver

Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden

In learning to know other things, and other minds, we become more intimately acquainted with ourselves, and are to ourselves better worth knowing. - Philip Gilbert Hamilton

see also   School  Section
Additions to the Periodic Table of Elements
Atom Trust
Children’s Science Exam Answers
Chimera Genetics
Comprehending Engineers
Einstein Seeds
Famous Equations
Genetic Science
Hazardous Materials Data Sheet for Woman
Law of Emotion
Periodic Table Shower
Professor Kisses
Redneck Engineering Exam
Science Fiction Recipes
Science World
Scientific Hunting
Singapore SkyPark
The Ig Nobel Awards
Who Needs Physics?
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