Little Johnny watched the science teacher start an experiment with worms.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars:
The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a jar of sperm.
The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil.
After one day, these were the results:
The first worm in alcohol - dead.
Second worm in cigarette smoke - dead.
Third worm in sperm - dead.
Fourth worm in soil - alive.
So the Science teacher asked the class, “What can you learn from this experiment?”
Little Johnny quickly raised his hand and said, “As long as you drink, smoke and have sex, you won’t have worms.”
All life is an experiment. - Oliver Wendell Homes Jr.
The early worm gets caught. - John Igo
The world is run by C students. - Al McGuire
A man must learn to forgive himself. - Arthur Davis Ficke
Education is a system of imposed ignorance. - Noam Chomsky
What we learn with pleasure we never forget. - Alfred Mercier
There is little you can learn from doing nothing. - Zig Ziglar
Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness. - Woody Allen
We are all worms, but I do believe I am a glow-worm. - Winston Churchill
Time goes by fast when you're avoiding homework. - Unknown
The hardest part of growing up is learning how to wait. - Leo Rosten
Men love to wonder, and that is the seed of our science. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
My joy in learning is partly that it enables me to teach. - Seneca
True science teaches, above all, to doubt and be ignorant. - Miguel de Unamuno
You can lead a boy to college but you cannot make him think. - Elbert Hubbard
There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain
I had an Irish Catholic education. Horrible nuns, vindictive and cruel. - John Lydon
Our ability lies not in what we know but in what we are willing to learn. - Unknown
No science is immune to the infection of politics and the corruption of power. - Jacob Bronowski
Be open to learning new lessons even if they contradict the lessons you learned yesterday. - Ellen Degeners
I was the class clown so I was used to performing and fooling around in front of my friends. - Dominic Monaghan
The test and the use of man's education is that he finds pleasure in the exercise of his mind. - Jacques Martin Barzun
I learned law so well, the day I graduated I used the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. - Fred Allen
True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country. - Kurt Vonnegut
Education can get you the only thing that really matters in today's world - an assigned parking space. - Gene Perret
Life is a classroom. Only those who are willing to be lifelong learners will move to the head of the class. - Zig Ziglar
It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. - Mark Twain
To try and fail is at least to learn. To fail to try is to suffer the inestimable loss of what might have been. - Chester Bernard
Curious learning not only makes unpleasant things less unpleasant but also makes pleasant things more pleasant. - Bertrand Russell
The learning and knowledge that we have, is, at the most, but little compared with that of which we are ignorant. - Plato
Mistakes are the stepping stones to wisdom. We learn from trial and error; we become wise by understanding problems. - Leon Brown
All our science, measured against reality, is primitive and childlike - and yet it is the most precious thing we have. - Albert Einstein
You can only learn from the second-raters. The first-raters are out of range; you can't see how they get their effects. - Unknown
I try to learn from the past, but I plan for the future by focusing exclusively on the present. That's where the fun is. - Donald Trump
You don't have to be a genius or a visionary or even a college graduate to be successful. You just need a framework and a dream. - Michael Dell
I remind myself every morning: nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I'm going to learn, I must do it by listening. - Larry King
Never try to be better than someone else. Learn from others, and try to be the best you can be. Success is the by-product of that preparation. - John Wooden
Coaching is unlocking people's potential to maximize their own performance. It is more often helping them to learn rather than teaching them. - John Whitmore
In learning to know other things, and other minds, we become more intimately acquainted with ourselves, and are to ourselves better worth knowing. - Philip Gilbert Hamilton
Every job I do, I like to think it makes me better, or I learn things. It's all about how much something's going to stretch me or test me. - Daniel Radcliffe
The early worm gets caught. - John Igo
The world is run by C students. - Al McGuire
A man must learn to forgive himself. - Arthur Davis Ficke
Education is a system of imposed ignorance. - Noam Chomsky
What we learn with pleasure we never forget. - Alfred Mercier
There is little you can learn from doing nothing. - Zig Ziglar
Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness. - Woody Allen
We are all worms, but I do believe I am a glow-worm. - Winston Churchill
Time goes by fast when you're avoiding homework. - Unknown
The hardest part of growing up is learning how to wait. - Leo Rosten
Men love to wonder, and that is the seed of our science. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
My joy in learning is partly that it enables me to teach. - Seneca
True science teaches, above all, to doubt and be ignorant. - Miguel de Unamuno
You can lead a boy to college but you cannot make him think. - Elbert Hubbard
There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain
I had an Irish Catholic education. Horrible nuns, vindictive and cruel. - John Lydon
Our ability lies not in what we know but in what we are willing to learn. - Unknown
No science is immune to the infection of politics and the corruption of power. - Jacob Bronowski
Be open to learning new lessons even if they contradict the lessons you learned yesterday. - Ellen Degeners
I was the class clown so I was used to performing and fooling around in front of my friends. - Dominic Monaghan
The test and the use of man's education is that he finds pleasure in the exercise of his mind. - Jacques Martin Barzun
I learned law so well, the day I graduated I used the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. - Fred Allen
True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country. - Kurt Vonnegut
Education can get you the only thing that really matters in today's world - an assigned parking space. - Gene Perret
Life is a classroom. Only those who are willing to be lifelong learners will move to the head of the class. - Zig Ziglar
It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. - Mark Twain
To try and fail is at least to learn. To fail to try is to suffer the inestimable loss of what might have been. - Chester Bernard
Curious learning not only makes unpleasant things less unpleasant but also makes pleasant things more pleasant. - Bertrand Russell
The learning and knowledge that we have, is, at the most, but little compared with that of which we are ignorant. - Plato
Mistakes are the stepping stones to wisdom. We learn from trial and error; we become wise by understanding problems. - Leon Brown
All our science, measured against reality, is primitive and childlike - and yet it is the most precious thing we have. - Albert Einstein
You can only learn from the second-raters. The first-raters are out of range; you can't see how they get their effects. - Unknown
I try to learn from the past, but I plan for the future by focusing exclusively on the present. That's where the fun is. - Donald Trump
You don't have to be a genius or a visionary or even a college graduate to be successful. You just need a framework and a dream. - Michael Dell
I remind myself every morning: nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I'm going to learn, I must do it by listening. - Larry King
Never try to be better than someone else. Learn from others, and try to be the best you can be. Success is the by-product of that preparation. - John Wooden
Coaching is unlocking people's potential to maximize their own performance. It is more often helping them to learn rather than teaching them. - John Whitmore
In learning to know other things, and other minds, we become more intimately acquainted with ourselves, and are to ourselves better worth knowing. - Philip Gilbert Hamilton
Every job I do, I like to think it makes me better, or I learn things. It's all about how much something's going to stretch me or test me. - Daniel Radcliffe
see also School Section
Additions to the Periodic Table of Elements
Atom Trust
Children’s Science Exam Answers
Chimera Genetics
Comprehending Engineers
Einstein Seeds
Engine-eering
Famous Equations
Genetic Science
Hazardous Materials Data Sheet for Woman
Law of Emotion
Nitrate
Periodic Table Shower
Professor Kisses
Redneck Engineering Exam
Science Fiction Recipes
Science World
Scientific Hunting
Singapore SkyPark
The Ig Nobel Awards
Who Needs Physics?
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06-Jul-2020 |