![]() Things that are complimentary at the local bar Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King A wounded deer leaps the highest. - Emily Dickinson Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker Deer hunters will do anything for a buck. - Unknown Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson Avoid fruit and nuts. You are what you eat. - Jim Davis Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Beer: The method of turning grain into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com God gives the nuts, but He does not crack them. - German proverb Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin I used to look like a deer in headlights on the red carpet. - Emily Blunt What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts. - Homer Simpson What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II Deer hunting would be fine sport, if only the deer had guns. - W S Gilbert I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw Everyone, in some small sacred sanctuary of the self, is nuts. - Leo Rosten A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II Doughnuts: 1. Rolling Scones; 2. The only nuts with holes in them. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com In heaven there is no beer... That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown If you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport. - Elayne Boosler In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer. - Philip II In my cosmology, indigenous wild deer are more important than exotic ornamental shrubs. - Elizabeth M. Thomas You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown The fabled musk deer searches the world over for the source of the scent which comes from itself. - Ramakrishna Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin Grammar: 1. Lives with granpar; 2. The difference between Feeling Your Nuts and Feeling You’re Nuts. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown see also Bartender & Pun Sections Kegerator |
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