Never Underestimate The Power of Seniors

If you’re going to have a Senior Moment, make it memorable


[This is a true account as recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida…]

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice: “I have a gun, and I know how to use it.  Get out of the car!”

The four men didn’t wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why - for the same reason she did not understand why there was a football, a frisbee and two 12 packs in the front seat... A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.

She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn’t stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed.




QuotaBills
Old age comes at a bad time. - Sue Banducci

To stop aging, keep on raging. - Michael Forbes

Old age is the verdict of life. - Amelia E Barr

Cherish youth, but trust old age. - Pueblo Proverb

Police do not belong in war zones. - Daniel K Moran

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

Old age is like underwear, it creeps up on you. - Unknown

If stress burned calories, I'd be a supermodel. - Unknown

Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur

Police Station: A place where sleeping is all right in a pinch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

Reality: The leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. - Lily Tomlin

Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up. - John Wagner

Cherish all your happy moments: they make a fine cushion for old age. - Christopher Morley

In youth we run into difficulties; in old age difficulties run into us. - Josh Billings

Young men soon give, and soon forget, affronts; old age is slow in both. - Joseph Addison

A diamond is just a piece of coal that handles stress exceptionally well. - Unknown

Advanced old age is when you sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going. - Eliakim Katz

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young. - Dorothy Canfield Fisher

Stress depletes willpower, which diminishes your ability to control those emotions. - Roy F Baumeister

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

Police: The only people who are paid to go around pinching people in the wrong places - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

More people would live to a ripe old age if they weren't too busy providing for it. - Unknown

Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young. - Fred Astaire

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

You can lead audiences to a half-dressed, aging pop star but you can't make them watch. - Megan Basham

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson

My comfort is, that old age, that ill layer-up of beauty, can do no more spoil upon my face. - William Shakespeare

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

Old age has its pleasures, which, though different, are not less than the pleasures of youth. - W Somerset Maugham

I'm learning in my old age that the only thing you can do to keep your sanity is to stay in the moment. - Willem Dafoe

While we drink, and call for garlands, for perfumes and for maidens, old age is creeping on us unperceived. - Juvenal

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

One should never make one's debut in a scandal. One should reserve that to give interest to one's old age. - Oscar Wilde

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase

I'm being kidnapped by a comforter, sheet and pillow. No need to call the police for I will be released by morning. - Unknown

Old age has a great sense of calm and freedom. When the passions have relaxed their hold you have escaped, not from one master, but from many. - Plato

To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay

When you have police officers who abuse citizens, you erode public confidence in law enforcement. That makes the job of good police officers unsafe. - Mary F Berry


see also   Aging  &  Police  Sections
Aging Cyclist
Aging Mermaid
Bird Walker
Boy Scout Scooter
Camel Walkers
Cold One
Dance While You Can
Dear Crossing
Elderly Rocker
Florida’s Retired Bikers
Grandma’s Controller
Harley Half Ton
iPhone Dock
It’s Never Too Late, Harley
Jogging Bike
Just Like Grandpa
Newfie Senior Scooter
Once A Kid, Always A Kid
Onward, My Noble Steed!
Racing Grandpa
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Scooter Duo
Scooter Races
Seatbelt Extender
Senior’s Paddle Surfboard
Snow Tires for Seniors
Treadmill Workout
Walker Buddies

 

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17-Oct-2021