Never Underestimate The Power of Seniors

If you’re going to have a Senior Moment, make it memorable


[This is a true account as recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida…]

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice: “I have a gun, and I know how to use it.  Get out of the car!”

The four men didn’t wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why - for the same reason she did not understand why there was a football, a frisbee and two 12 packs in the front seat... A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.

She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn’t stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed.




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Old age comes at a bad time. - Sue Banducci

Old age is no place for sissies. - Bette Davis

Cherish youth, but trust old age. - Pueblo Proverb

I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

Old age is like underwear, it creeps up on you. - Unknown

To me, old age is always fifteen years older than I am. - Bernard Baruch

Fourty is the old age of youth; 50 is the youth of old age. - Victor Hugo

Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man. - Leon Trotsky

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

Too much homework can cause stress, depression and even lower grades. - Unknown

Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill

In youth we run into difficulties; in old age difficulties run into us. - Josh Billings

Young men soon give, and soon forget, affronts; old age is slow in both. - Joseph Addison

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson

A diamond is just a piece of coal that handles stress exceptionally well. - Unknown

I suppose real old age begins when one looks backward rather than forward. - May Sarton

God will never give you anything you can't handle, so don't stress. - Kelly Clarkson

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan

Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one. - Hans Selye

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too. - Lionel Kauffman

More people would live to a ripe old age if they weren't too busy providing for it. - Unknown

Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young. - Fred Astaire

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson

When grace is joined with wrinkles, it is adorable. There is an unspeakable dawn in happy old age. - Victor Hugo

There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. - Bill Bryson

To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent - that is to triumph over old age. - Thomas Bailey Aldrich

While we drink, and call for garlands, for perfumes and for maidens, old age is creeping on us unperceived. - Juvenal

Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week. - Maggie Kuhn

Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read. - George Burns

The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm. - Aldous Huxley

I'm grateful that I never was that senior athlete who realized she'd done nothing but train all her life. - Clara Hughes

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase

Transformation also means looking for ways to stop pushing yourself so hard professionally or inviting so much stress. - Gail Sheehy

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay


see also   Aging  &  Police  Sections
Aging Cyclist
Aging Mermaid
Bird Walker
Boy Scout Scooter
Camel Walkers
Cold One
Dance While You Can
Dear Crossing
Elderly Rocker
Florida’s Retired Bikers
Grandma’s Controller
Harley Half Ton
iPhone Dock
It’s Never Too Late, Harley
Jogging Bike
Just Like Grandpa
Newfie Senior Scooter
Once A Kid, Always A Kid
Onward, My Noble Steed!
Racing Grandpa
Scooter Down
Scooter Duo
Scooter Races
Seatbelt Extender
Senior’s Paddle Surfboard
Snow Tires for Seniors
Treadmill Workout
Walker Buddies

 

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Tie Wrap Bumper

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Painfull Skydive

You Are Grounded

Discrimination

Mountain Flock

Tea Bait

One Of Those Days

Nanosecond Moments

Fishing Addiction

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Centaur of Tymfi

Swiss Spaghetti Harvest

Trudeau Trips
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02-Apr-2020