Never Underestimate The Power of Seniors

If you’re going to have a Senior Moment, make it memorable


[This is a true account as recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida…]

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice: “I have a gun, and I know how to use it.  Get out of the car!”

The four men didn’t wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why - for the same reason she did not understand why there was a football, a frisbee and two 12 packs in the front seat... A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.

She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn’t stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed.




QuotaBills
Old age is the verdict of life. - Amelia E Barr

Old age is no place for sissies. - Bette Davis

Police do not belong in war zones. - Daniel K Moran

Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur

Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternative. - Maurice Chevalier

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves. - Phyllis Diller

The old age of an eagle is better than the youth of a sparrow. - Proverb

Never have I enjoyed youth so thoroughly as I have in my old age. - George Santayana

Reality: The leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. - Lily Tomlin

Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up. - John Wagner

Old age at least gives me an excuse for not being very good at things. - Thomas Sowell

Young men soon give, and soon forget, affronts; old age is slow in both. - Joseph Addison

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

A diamond is just a piece of coal that handles stress exceptionally well. - Unknown

I suppose real old age begins when one looks backward rather than forward. - May Sarton

Sleeping is my drug; my bed is my dealer; and my alarm clock is the police. - Unknown

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

Sure I'm for helping the elderly. I'm going to be old myself some day. - Lillian Carter

The police force cannot be completely independent of the executive government. - P Chidambaram

Old age takes away what we've inherited and gives us what we've earned. - Gerald Brenan

Advanced old age is when you sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going. - Eliakim Katz

W.C. Fields has a profound respect for old age. Especially when it's bottled. - Gene Fowler

Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young. - Dorothy Canfield Fisher

Stress depletes willpower, which diminishes your ability to control those emotions. - Roy F Baumeister

Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young. - Fred Astaire

There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward. - John Mortimer

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

A police force, wherever they are, is made up of amazing people, and I respect them a great deal. - Nancy McKeon

There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. - Bill Bryson

In youth the days are short and the years are long; in old age the years are short and the days are long. - Nikita I Panin

Autumn is really the best of the seasons; and I'm not sure that old age isn't the best part of life. - C S Lewis

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

In old age we are like a batch of letters that someone has sent. We are no longer in the post, we have arrived. - Knut Hamsun

You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain

One should never make one's debut in a scandal. One should reserve that to give interest to one's old age. - Oscar Wilde

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

Animals are not our selfie props. If there's any risk that your photo is going to hurt or stress an animal, it's not worth it. - Angela Henderson

Old age has a great sense of calm and freedom. When the passions have relaxed their hold you have escaped, not from one master, but from many. - Plato

When you have police officers who abuse citizens, you erode public confidence in law enforcement. That makes the job of good police officers unsafe. - Mary F Berry


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24-Sep-2020