Never Underestimate The Power of Seniors

If you’re going to have a Senior Moment, make it memorable


[This is a true account as recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida…]

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice: “I have a gun, and I know how to use it.  Get out of the car!”

The four men didn’t wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why - for the same reason she did not understand why there was a football, a frisbee and two 12 packs in the front seat... A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.

She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn’t stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed.




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Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

To stop aging, keep on raging. - Michael Forbes

Cherish youth, but trust old age. - Pueblo Proverb

I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown

The gods bestowed on him the gift of perpetual old age. - Oscar Wilde

The old age of an eagle is better than the youth of a sparrow. - Proverb

Police Station: A place where sleeping is all right in a pinch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

Reality: The leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. - Lily Tomlin

Cherish all your happy moments: they make a fine cushion for old age. - Christopher Morley

The tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is young. - Oscar Wilde

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill

In youth we run into difficulties; in old age difficulties run into us. - Josh Billings

I suppose real old age begins when one looks backward rather than forward. - May Sarton

God will never give you anything you can't handle, so don't stress. - Kelly Clarkson

Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one. - Hans Selye

We look forward to a disorderly, vigorous, unhonored and disreputable old age. - Don Marquis

The police are not here to create disorder, they;re here to preserve disorder. - Richard J Daley

Old age takes away what we've inherited and gives us what we've earned. - Gerald Brenan

Advanced old age is when you sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going. - Eliakim Katz

Youth is the time of getting, middle age of improving, and old age of spending. - Anne Bradstreet

Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young. - Dorothy Canfield Fisher

Stress depletes willpower, which diminishes your ability to control those emotions. - Roy F Baumeister

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. - Ronnie Corbett

A police force, wherever they are, is made up of amazing people, and I respect them a great deal. - Nancy McKeon

There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. - Bill Bryson

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do about it. - Golda Meir

When it comes to old age we're all in the same boat, only some of us have been aboard a little longer. - Leo Probst

I'm learning in my old age that the only thing you can do to keep your sanity is to stay in the moment. - Willem Dafoe

You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain

The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm. - Aldous Huxley

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain

One should never make one's debut in a scandal. One should reserve that to give interest to one's old age. - Oscar Wilde

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase

Not one of them who took up in his youth with his opinion that there are no gods ever continued until old age faithful to his conviction. - Plato

Aging: 1. A supposed ripening into wisdom that most Westerners attempt to delay as long as possible; 2. A one-way street with no stoplights. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When you have police officers who abuse citizens, you erode public confidence in law enforcement. That makes the job of good police officers unsafe. - Mary F Berry


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22-May-2022