Julia’s wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement. Her mother, who had recently gone through a
nasty divorce, had just found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother-of-the-bride ever!
A week later, Julia was horrified to learn that her father’s new young wife had bought the exact same dress! Julia asked her step-mother to exchange it, but she refused.
“Absolutely not. I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I’m wearing it,” she replied peevishly.
Julia told her mother, who graciously said, “Never mind sweetheart. I’ll get another dress. After all, it’s your special day.”
That weekend, Julia and her Mom went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress. When they stopped for lunch, Julia asked her mother, “Aren’t you going to return the other dress? You really don’t have another occasion where you could wear it.”
Her mother just smiled and replied, “Of course I do, dear. I’m wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the
wedding!”
You rarely meet a wino with perfect pitch. - George Carlin
Every good and perfect gift comes from above. - Bible
Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller
Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg
Remind yourself that it's okay not to be perfect. - Unknown
In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner
There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb
Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx
In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. - Groucho Marx
Gossip is just news running ahead of itself in a red satin dress. - Liz Smith
I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills. - Groucho Marx
Why should I tolerate a perfect stranger at the bedside of my mind? - Vladimir Nabokov
Practice does not make perfect. Only perfect practice makes perfect. - Vince Lombardi
There is not so variable a thing in nature as a lady's head-dress. - Joseph Addison
Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine
Calamity is the perfect glass wherein we truly see and know ourselves. - William D'Avenant
There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown
Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor
College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel
I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger
Cinderella never asked for a prince. She asked for a night off and a dress. - Kiera Cass
The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud
Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert
Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect. - Owens L. Pomeroy
Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby
A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children. - Dave Barry
Be humble enough to admit you're not perfect, but determined enough to strive to be perfect. - Unknown
The clothes in themselves do not make a statement. The woman makes the statement and the dress helps. - Jean Muir
Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash
Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller
We've never been cool, we're hot. Irish people are Italians who can't dress, Jamaicans who can't dance. - Bono
The reason birds can fly and we can't is simply because they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings. - J.M. Barrie
If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor
A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney
Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash
It reminds me why I chose Dauntless in the first place: not because they are perfect, but because they are alive. Because they are free. - Veronica Roth
You don't need endless time and perfect conditions. Do it now. Do it today. Do it for twenty minutes and watch your heart start beating. - Barbara Sher
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx
Every good and perfect gift comes from above. - Bible
Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller
Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg
Remind yourself that it's okay not to be perfect. - Unknown
In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner
There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb
Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx
In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. - Groucho Marx
Gossip is just news running ahead of itself in a red satin dress. - Liz Smith
I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills. - Groucho Marx
Why should I tolerate a perfect stranger at the bedside of my mind? - Vladimir Nabokov
Practice does not make perfect. Only perfect practice makes perfect. - Vince Lombardi
There is not so variable a thing in nature as a lady's head-dress. - Joseph Addison
Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine
Calamity is the perfect glass wherein we truly see and know ourselves. - William D'Avenant
There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown
Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor
College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel
I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger
Cinderella never asked for a prince. She asked for a night off and a dress. - Kiera Cass
The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud
Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert
Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect. - Owens L. Pomeroy
Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby
A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children. - Dave Barry
Be humble enough to admit you're not perfect, but determined enough to strive to be perfect. - Unknown
The clothes in themselves do not make a statement. The woman makes the statement and the dress helps. - Jean Muir
Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash
Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller
We've never been cool, we're hot. Irish people are Italians who can't dress, Jamaicans who can't dance. - Bono
The reason birds can fly and we can't is simply because they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings. - J.M. Barrie
If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor
A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney
Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash
It reminds me why I chose Dauntless in the first place: not because they are perfect, but because they are alive. Because they are free. - Veronica Roth
You don't need endless time and perfect conditions. Do it now. Do it today. Do it for twenty minutes and watch your heart start beating. - Barbara Sher
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx
see also Clothing, Shopping & Wedding Sections
Wedding Cake for the Submissive Husband
Wedding Dress Dog Train
Wedding Dress For Sale
 Parent Signature |  Bread Additive |  Dates For Everyone |  Tree of Dreams |  Temporarily Insane Boat Ride |
 Exit Door |  Handicap Motorcyclist |  New Canada Bill |  Staff Teeth |  Funnel Farm |
 Buffalo Prod |  Meat Pie |  Where Nobody Speeds |  A Fish Called Wanda - Uncut Version |  Point Of View |
21-Nov-2019 |