The Perfect Dress

Best way to rehearse for a dress run


Julia’s wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement. Her mother, who had recently gone through a nasty divorce, had just found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother-of-the-bride ever!

A week later, Julia was horrified to learn that her father’s new young wife had bought the exact same dress! Julia asked her step-mother to exchange it, but she refused.

“Absolutely not. I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I’m wearing it,” she replied peevishly.

Julia told her mother, who graciously said, “Never mind sweetheart. I’ll get another dress. After all, it’s your special day.”

That weekend, Julia and her Mom went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress. When they stopped for lunch, Julia asked her mother, “Aren’t you going to return the other dress? You really don’t have another occasion where you could wear it.”

Her mother just smiled and replied, “Of course I do, dear. I’m wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding!”


QuotaBills
You rarely meet a wino with perfect pitch. - George Carlin

Every good and perfect gift comes from above. - Bible

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

Remind yourself that it's okay not to be perfect. - Unknown

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. - Groucho Marx

Gossip is just news running ahead of itself in a red satin dress. - Liz Smith

I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills. - Groucho Marx

Why should I tolerate a perfect stranger at the bedside of my mind? - Vladimir Nabokov

Practice does not make perfect. Only perfect practice makes perfect. - Vince Lombardi

There is not so variable a thing in nature as a lady's head-dress. - Joseph Addison

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

Calamity is the perfect glass wherein we truly see and know ourselves. - William D'Avenant

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Cinderella never asked for a prince. She asked for a night off and a dress. - Kiera Cass

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect. - Owens L. Pomeroy

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children. - Dave Barry

Be humble enough to admit you're not perfect, but determined enough to strive to be perfect. - Unknown

The clothes in themselves do not make a statement. The woman makes the statement and the dress helps. - Jean Muir

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

We've never been cool, we're hot. Irish people are Italians who can't dress, Jamaicans who can't dance. - Bono

The reason birds can fly and we can't is simply because they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings. - J.M. Barrie

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash

It reminds me why I chose Dauntless in the first place: not because they are perfect, but because they are alive. Because they are free. - Veronica Roth

You don't need endless time and perfect conditions. Do it now. Do it today. Do it for twenty minutes and watch your heart start beating. - Barbara Sher

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx


see also   Clothing,  Shopping  &  Wedding  Sections
Wedding Cake for the Submissive Husband
Wedding Dress Dog Train
Wedding Dress For Sale

 

Parent Signature

Bread Additive

Dates For Everyone

Tree of Dreams

Temporarily Insane Boat Ride

Exit Door

Handicap Motorcyclist

New Canada Bill

Staff Teeth

Funnel Farm

Buffalo Prod

Meat Pie

Where Nobody Speeds

A Fish Called Wanda - Uncut Version

Point Of View
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

21-Nov-2019