Q: What is out on the lawn all summer and is Irish?
A: Paddy ’O’Furniture.
Q: What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
A: A sham rock.
Q: Why do frogs like St. Patrick’s Day?
A: Because they wear green.
Q: When is an Irish Potato not an Irish Potato?
A: When it’s a French fry.
Q: What does it mean when you find a lucky horseshoe?
A: Some unlucky horse is going barefoot.
Q: Why did the elephant wear green sneakers instead of red ones?
A: The red ones were in the wash.
Q: Why is an Irish river rich?
A: Because it has two banks.
Q: What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green?
A: A Jolly Green Giant.
My soul is still Irish. - Ciaran Hinds
I'm Irish. We think sideways. - Spike Milligan
I'm just a true Irish boy at heart. - Colin Farrell
Yes, I am an Irish lass through and through. - Erin Andrews
Ireland is the old sow that eats her farrow. - James Joyce
Being Irish, I always had this love of words. - Kenneth Branagh
There are not many Irish people playing tennis. - Goran Ivanisevic
My dad's Irish music was such a huge influence. - Dido Armstrong
I had that stubborn streak, the Irish in me I guess. - Gregory Peck
I'm Irish and Cherokee Indian. I can't faint. - Lynn Collins
I have a thing for red-haired Irish boys, as we know. - Sandra Bullock
Yelling Irish, you can sound like an angry Leprechaun. - Norman Reedus
The Irish ignore anything they can't drink or punch. - James Boswell
Where would the Irish be without someone to be Irish at? - Elizabeth Bowen
I've had Irish skin from the time I was a young girl. - Lara Flynn Boyle
Bless your little Irish heart and every other Irish part. - Irish Blessings
Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown
You think the Welsh are friendly, but the Irish are fabulous. - Bonnie Tyler
The Irish forgive their great men when they are safely buried. - Unknown
I miss Irish milk. Probably not as much as Superquinn sausages. - Tristan MacManus
God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying
Irish Alzheimer's - you forget everything except the grudges. - Unknown
Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett
In Ireland, a writer is looked upon as a failed conversationalist. - Unknown
We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill
Irish people are educated not only about artistry but local history. - Fiona Shaw
Even when they have nothing, the Irish emit a kind of happiness, a joy. - Fiona Shaw
Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
Being Irish is very much a part of who I am. I take it everywhere with me. - Colin Farrell
I come from an Irish Catholic family, and hell-raising is part of the DNA. - Brian Dennehy
The Irish and British, they love satire, it's a large part of the culture. - Ben Nicholson
Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead
Wherever you go and whatever you do, may the luck of the Irish be there with you. - Irish Blessings
I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe
I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. - Orson Welles
I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader
At the heart of the Irish economy has always been the philosophy of tax competitiveness. - Bono
I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke
I had a very happy childhood, which is unsuitable if you're going to be an Irish writer. - Maeve Binchy
The Irish do not want anyone to wish them well; they want everyone to wish their enemies ill. - Harold Nicolson
The trouble with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, with absolutely no talent. - Hugh Leonard
I have a difficult time doing an Irish accent; even now, it kind of fades slowly into Scottish. - Robin Williams
I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke
I'm proud of my Irish heritage and culture and this show will feature a lot of Irish dancing. - Michael Flatley
The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet. - Oliver Herford
I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon
What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland
I think I'm going to keep my Irish accent forever now in any movie I make, because chicks dig it. - Chris O'Dowd
I think Paul McGuinness and U2 created the Irish music industry. It certainly wasn't there before that. - Van Morrison
In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue
If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
We've never been cool, we're hot. Irish people are Italians who can't dress, Jamaicans who can't dance. - Bono
Irish poets, learn your trade, sing whatever is well made, scorn the sort now growing up all out of shape from toe to top. - William Butler Yeats
For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor
Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt
That's what the holidays are for - for one person to tell the stories and another to dispute them. Isn't that the Irish way? - Lara Flynn Boyle
Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown
Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien
Irish & St. Patrick’s Day
Going Green for Ireland
Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey!
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Weather Forecasting
St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
St. Patrick’s Dog
Teddy Bear Dance
What’s Under The Kilt?
An Evening Prayer
Why Stand In Line?
How Twins Are Made
Ups and Downs