Q: What is out on the lawn all summer and is Irish?
A: Paddy ’O’Furniture.
Q: What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
A: A sham rock.
Q: Why do frogs like St. Patrick’s Day?
A: Because they wear green.
Q: When is an Irish Potato not an Irish Potato?
A: When it’s a French fry.
Q: What does it mean when you find a lucky horseshoe?
A: Some unlucky horse is going barefoot.
Q: Why did the elephant wear green sneakers instead of red ones?
A: The red ones were in the wash.
Q: Why is an Irish river rich?
A: Because it has two banks.
Q: What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green?
A: A Jolly Green Giant.
No man is an Ireland. - Richard Daley
My soul is still Irish. - Ciaran Hinds
I'm Irish. We think sideways. - Spike Milligan
Paddy O Furniture: Irish lawn chairs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I'm just a true Irish boy at heart. - Colin Farrell
To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy
There are not many Irish people playing tennis. - Goran Ivanisevic
I'm Irish. I think about death all the time. - Jack Nicholson
The Irish are a very popular race - with themselves. - Brendan Behan
I had that stubborn streak, the Irish in me I guess. - Gregory Peck
An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy
I'm Irish and Cherokee Indian. I can't faint. - Lynn Collins
I've had Irish skin from the time I was a young girl. - Lara Flynn Boyle
Bless your little Irish heart and every other Irish part. - Irish Blessings
The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery
Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown
My Irish derivation has nothing to do with me. Why should it? - Carroll O'Connor
There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge
The Irish forgive their great men when they are safely buried. - Unknown
I miss Irish milk. Probably not as much as Superquinn sausages. - Tristan MacManus
God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying
I'm from durable stock. I'm made to work. I'm Irish. - Mary McCormack
In Ireland, a writer is looked upon as a failed conversationalist. - Unknown
Irish Americans are no more Irish than Black Americans are Africans. - Bob Geldof
Even when they have nothing, the Irish emit a kind of happiness, a joy. - Fiona Shaw
Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty
Like an Irishman's obligation, all on the one side, and always yours. - English saying
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
Being Irish is very much a part of who I am. I take it everywhere with me. - Colin Farrell
What's the use of being Irish if the world doesn't break your heart? - Unknown
The Irish and British, they love satire, it's a large part of the culture. - Ben Nicholson
Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead
Wherever you go and whatever you do, may the luck of the Irish be there with you. - Irish Blessings
The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers
My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey
The Irish don't know what they want and are prepared to fight to the death to get it. - Sidney Littlewood
I had a very happy childhood, which is unsuitable if you're going to be an Irish writer. - Maeve Binchy
The Irish do not want anyone to wish them well; they want everyone to wish their enemies ill. - Harold Nicolson
I have a difficult time doing an Irish accent; even now, it kind of fades slowly into Scottish. - Robin Williams
Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson
Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle
The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet. - Oliver Herford
I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon
I think I'm going to keep my Irish accent forever now in any movie I make, because chicks dig it. - Chris O'Dowd
I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris
I think Paul McGuinness and U2 created the Irish music industry. It certainly wasn't there before that. - Van Morrison
That's the Irish people all over - they treat a joke as a serious thing, and a serious thing as a joke. - Sean O'Casey
I was freelancing for years in Cork and around. I also wrote freelance pieces for 'The Irish Times.' - Kevin Barry
An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off the earth. - Unknown
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
May you always walk in sunshine. May you never want for more. May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door. - Irish Blessings
We've never been cool, we're hot. Irish people are Italians who can't dress, Jamaicans who can't dance. - Bono
The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad.
For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad. - G K Chesterton
Irish poets, learn your trade, sing whatever is well made, scorn the sort now growing up all out of shape from toe to top. - William Butler Yeats
If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft
Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt
It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan
I'm Irish, so I'm used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I'll call it dinner. - Liam Neeson
Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien
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Irish Blessings and Sayings
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