Q: What is out on the lawn all summer and is Irish?
A: Paddy ’O’Furniture.
Q: What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
A: A sham rock.
Q: Why do frogs like St. Patrick’s Day?
A: Because they wear green.
Q: When is an Irish Potato not an Irish Potato?
A: When it’s a French fry.
Q: What does it mean when you find a lucky horseshoe?
A: Some unlucky horse is going barefoot.
Q: Why did the elephant wear green sneakers instead of red ones?
A: The red ones were in the wash.
Q: Why is an Irish river rich?
A: Because it has two banks.
Q: What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green?
A: A Jolly Green Giant.
I am very proud to be Irish. - Philip Treacy
I'm just a true Irish boy at heart. - Colin Farrell
Ireland is the old sow that eats her farrow. - James Joyce
I come from a long line of staunch Irish Catholics. - Robert Vaughn
Our Irish blunders are never blunders of the heart. - Maria Edgeworth
The Irish are a very popular race - with themselves. - Brendan Behan
I have a thing for red-haired Irish boys, as we know. - Sandra Bullock
Yelling Irish, you can sound like an angry Leprechaun. - Norman Reedus
I am Irish as a person, but I feel Jewish as an actor. - Harrison Ford
An Irishman's heart is nothing but his imagination. - George Bernard Shaw
Where would the Irish be without someone to be Irish at? - Elizabeth Bowen
Bless your little Irish heart and every other Irish part. - Irish Blessings
The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery
My Irish derivation has nothing to do with me. Why should it? - Carroll O'Connor
I'm an Irish Catholic and I have a long iceberg of guilt. - Edna O'Brien
There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge
The Irish forgive their great men when they are safely buried. - Unknown
Irish Alzheimer's - you forget everything except the grudges. - Unknown
Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett
The Irish are a fair people, they never speak well of one another. - Samuel Johnson
We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill
It is a symbol of Irish art. The cracked looking-glass of a servant. - James Joyce
Irish Americans are no more Irish than Black Americans are Africans. - Bob Geldof
Irish people are educated not only about artistry but local history. - Fiona Shaw
Even when they have nothing, the Irish emit a kind of happiness, a joy. - Fiona Shaw
I had an Irish Catholic education. Horrible nuns, vindictive and cruel. - John Lydon
Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty
Like an Irishman's obligation, all on the one side, and always yours. - English saying
I come from an Irish Catholic family, and hell-raising is part of the DNA. - Brian Dennehy
What's the use of being Irish if the world doesn't break your heart? - Unknown
If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit
Wherever you go and whatever you do, may the luck of the Irish be there with you. - Irish Blessings
I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe
If you put an Irishman on a spit, you can always get another Irishman to baste him. - George Bernard Shaw
I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader
I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke
The Irish do not want anyone to wish them well; they want everyone to wish their enemies ill. - Harold Nicolson
Irish boomerang: It doesn't come back, it just sings sad songs about how much it wants to. - Unknown
I have a difficult time doing an Irish accent; even now, it kind of fades slowly into Scottish. - Robin Williams
I think the genetics of being Irish are that you sort of prefer when it's rainy and cloudy. - Kate Flannery
Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle
An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown
I'm proud of my Irish heritage and culture and this show will feature a lot of Irish dancing. - Michael Flatley
What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland
I think I'm going to keep my Irish accent forever now in any movie I make, because chicks dig it. - Chris O'Dowd
I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris
I think Paul McGuinness and U2 created the Irish music industry. It certainly wasn't there before that. - Van Morrison
That's the Irish people all over - they treat a joke as a serious thing, and a serious thing as a joke. - Sean O'Casey
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine
If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
As I told Piers Morgan, 'Catholics have confession, whereas Northern Irish Protestants only have interviews.' - James Nesbitt
We've never been cool, we're hot. Irish people are Italians who can't dress, Jamaicans who can't dance. - Bono
If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft
I think being a woman is like being Irish. Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the same. - Iris Murdoch
It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody. - Brendan Behan
With such riches as I have in life, you're always nervous. Being Irish, you're waiting for something to knock it sideways. - Pierce Brosnan
It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan
That's what the holidays are for - for one person to tell the stories and another to dispute them. Isn't that the Irish way? - Lara Flynn Boyle
Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien
Irish & St. Patrick’s Day
Going Green for Ireland
Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey!
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Weather Forecasting
St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
St. Patrick’s Dog
Teddy Bear Dance
What’s Under The Kilt?
Take Away Food
History Doesn't Repeat Itself
Irish Pub Restroom
Instant Engine Starting Down Under
Brick Road Laying in The Netherlands