Q: What is out on the lawn all summer and is Irish?
A: Paddy ’O’Furniture.
Q: What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
A: A sham rock.
Q: Why do frogs like St. Patrick’s Day?
A: Because they wear green.
Q: When is an Irish Potato not an Irish Potato?
A: When it’s a French fry.
Q: What does it mean when you find a lucky horseshoe?
A: Some unlucky horse is going barefoot.
Q: Why did the elephant wear green sneakers instead of red ones?
A: The red ones were in the wash.
Q: Why is an Irish river rich?
A: Because it has two banks.
Q: What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green?
A: A Jolly Green Giant.
The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley
I'm just a true Irish boy at heart. - Colin Farrell
Ireland is the old sow that eats her farrow. - James Joyce
You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb
I had that stubborn streak, the Irish in me I guess. - Gregory Peck
I'm Irish and Cherokee Indian. I can't faint. - Lynn Collins
Yelling Irish, you can sound like an angry Leprechaun. - Norman Reedus
I am Irish as a person, but I feel Jewish as an actor. - Harrison Ford
An Irishman's heart is nothing but his imagination. - George Bernard Shaw
The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery
Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown
You think the Welsh are friendly, but the Irish are fabulous. - Bonnie Tyler
My Irish derivation has nothing to do with me. Why should it? - Carroll O'Connor
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge
You know it's summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer. - Hal Roach
I miss Irish milk. Probably not as much as Superquinn sausages. - Tristan MacManus
God is good to the Irish, but no one else is; not even the Irish. - Unknown
Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett
The Irish are a fair people, they never speak well of one another. - Samuel Johnson
It is a symbol of Irish art. The cracked looking-glass of a servant. - James Joyce
Irish Americans are no more Irish than Black Americans are Africans. - Bob Geldof
Irish people are educated not only about artistry but local history. - Fiona Shaw
Even when they have nothing, the Irish emit a kind of happiness, a joy. - Fiona Shaw
The Irish are a very fair people, they never speak well of one another. - Unknown
Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty
Like an Irishman's obligation, all on the one side, and always yours. - English saying
Being Irish is very much a part of who I am. I take it everywhere with me. - Colin Farrell
I come from an Irish Catholic family, and hell-raising is part of the DNA. - Brian Dennehy
What's the use of being Irish if the world doesn't break your heart? - Unknown
Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness
The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers
If you put an Irishman on a spit, you can always get another Irishman to baste him. - George Bernard Shaw
I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. - Orson Welles
I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke
I'm Irish. That means I'm Catholic. But, truth is, now I'm a retired Christian. - Peter O'Toole
I had a very happy childhood, which is unsuitable if you're going to be an Irish writer. - Maeve Binchy
Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse
I think the genetics of being Irish are that you sort of prefer when it's rainy and cloudy. - Kate Flannery
Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle
An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown
The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet. - Oliver Herford
I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon
I think I'm going to keep my Irish accent forever now in any movie I make, because chicks dig it. - Chris O'Dowd
The problem with being Irish is having 'Riverdance' on your back. It's a burden at times. - Roddy Doyle
Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy. - William Butler Yeats
I'm Irish on St. Patrick's Day. I'm Italian on Columbus Day. I'm a New Yorker every day. - Tamara Tunie
The curse of the Irish is not that they don't know the words to a song - its that they know them all. - Susan Dooley
I was freelancing for years in Cork and around. I also wrote freelance pieces for 'The Irish Times.' - Kevin Barry
I'm a big fan of the Irish accent. After a couple of drinks, I start to get a bit of an Irish lilt, too. - Emily Ratajkowski
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine
In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue
As I told Piers Morgan, 'Catholics have confession, whereas Northern Irish Protestants only have interviews.' - James Nesbitt
May you always walk in sunshine. May you never want for more. May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door. - Irish Blessings
The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad.
For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad. - G K Chesterton
I think being a woman is like being Irish. Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the same. - Iris Murdoch
When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown
I'm Irish, so I'm used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I'll call it dinner. - Liam Neeson
Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien
Franklin D. Roosevelt: "Why do you Irish always answer a question with a question?",
New York Mayor Al Smith: "Do we now?" - Franklin D Roosevelt
Irish & St. Patrick’s Day
Going Green for Ireland
Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey!
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Weather Forecasting
St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
St. Patrick’s Dog
Teddy Bear Dance
What’s Under The Kilt?
Hummers Only Look Tough
Slim People Bathroom
Leaning Tower Of Pisa Dog
Victorian Bathing Machine
Slap Me Into Next Year
Is This Really Happening?!