Q: What is out on the lawn all summer and is Irish?
A: Paddy ’O’Furniture.
Q: What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
A: A sham rock.
Q: Why do frogs like St. Patrick’s Day?
A: Because they wear green.
Q: When is an Irish Potato not an Irish Potato?
A: When it’s a French fry.
Q: What does it mean when you find a lucky horseshoe?
A: Some unlucky horse is going barefoot.
Q: Why did the elephant wear green sneakers instead of red ones?
A: The red ones were in the wash.
Q: Why is an Irish river rich?
A: Because it has two banks.
Q: What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green?
A: A Jolly Green Giant.
I am very proud to be Irish. - Philip Treacy
Paddy O Furniture: Irish lawn chairs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I'm just a true Irish boy at heart. - Colin Farrell
To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy
Ireland is the old sow that eats her farrow. - James Joyce
Being Irish, I always had this love of words. - Kenneth Branagh
The Danes and the Irish have a great simpatico. - Pierce Brosnan
My dad's Irish music was such a huge influence. - Dido Armstrong
You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb
I had that stubborn streak, the Irish in me I guess. - Gregory Peck
I'm Irish and Cherokee Indian. I can't faint. - Lynn Collins
I have a thing for red-haired Irish boys, as we know. - Sandra Bullock
The heart of an Irishman is nothing but his imagination. - George Bernard Shaw
If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks. - Brendan Behan
The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery
You think the Welsh are friendly, but the Irish are fabulous. - Bonnie Tyler
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
I miss Irish milk. Probably not as much as Superquinn sausages. - Tristan MacManus
God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying
I'm from durable stock. I'm made to work. I'm Irish. - Mary McCormack
Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett
Irish Americans are no more Irish than Black Americans are Africans. - Bob Geldof
Irish people are educated not only about artistry but local history. - Fiona Shaw
Yancy is actually a Native-American name, but I'm Irish. Go figure. - Yancy Butler
I've heard some duff Irish accents. The worst must be Mickey Rourke. - James Nesbitt
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
What's the use of being Irish if the world doesn't break your heart? - Unknown
The Irish and British, they love satire, it's a large part of the culture. - Ben Nicholson
Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness
If you put an Irishman on a spit, you can always get another Irishman to baste him. - George Bernard Shaw
An Irishman can be worried by the consciousness that there is nothing to worry about. - Austin O'Malley
I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. - Orson Welles
We Irish will never achieve anything; but we are the greatest talkers since the Greeks. - Oscar Wilde
At the heart of the Irish economy has always been the philosophy of tax competitiveness. - Bono
The Irish don't know what they want and are prepared to fight to the death to get it. - Sidney Littlewood
I had a very happy childhood, which is unsuitable if you're going to be an Irish writer. - Maeve Binchy
The Irish are the only men who know how to cry for the dirty polluted blood of all the world. - Norman Mailer
The Irish do not want anyone to wish them well; they want everyone to wish their enemies ill. - Harold Nicolson
The trouble with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, with absolutely no talent. - Hugh Leonard
I have a difficult time doing an Irish accent; even now, it kind of fades slowly into Scottish. - Robin Williams
I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke
I'm proud of my Irish heritage and culture and this show will feature a lot of Irish dancing. - Michael Flatley
Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to. - Unknown
I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon
Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy. - William Butler Yeats
The curse of the Irish is not that they don't know the words to a song - its that they know them all. - Susan Dooley
I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris
I think Paul McGuinness and U2 created the Irish music industry. It certainly wasn't there before that. - Van Morrison
That's the Irish people all over - they treat a joke as a serious thing, and a serious thing as a joke. - Sean O'Casey
I was freelancing for years in Cork and around. I also wrote freelance pieces for 'The Irish Times.' - Kevin Barry
An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off the earth. - Unknown
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine
If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde
As I told Piers Morgan, 'Catholics have confession, whereas Northern Irish Protestants only have interviews.' - James Nesbitt
May you always walk in sunshine. May you never want for more. May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door. - Irish Blessings
Irish poets, learn your trade, sing whatever is well made, scorn the sort now growing up all out of shape from toe to top. - William Butler Yeats
That's what the holidays are for - for one person to tell the stories and another to dispute them. Isn't that the Irish way? - Lara Flynn Boyle
Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown
Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien
Franklin D. Roosevelt: "Why do you Irish always answer a question with a question?",
New York Mayor Al Smith: "Do we now?" - Franklin D Roosevelt
Irish & St. Patrick’s Day
Going Green for Ireland
Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey!
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Weather Forecasting
St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
St. Patrick’s Dog
Teddy Bear Dance
What’s Under The Kilt?
Redneck's Lo-Tech Mobile Phone
Border Agent Alert
Leading By Example
Wired For Coffee
Chip and Dip
Cat Couch Nap
Redneck Trophy Fish
'None Of The Above' Election Option
I've Got Your Back