Q: What is out on the lawn all summer and is Irish?
A: Paddy ’O’Furniture.
Q: What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
A: A sham rock.
Q: Why do frogs like St. Patrick’s Day?
A: Because they wear green.
Q: When is an Irish Potato not an Irish Potato?
A: When it’s a French fry.
Q: What does it mean when you find a lucky horseshoe?
A: Some unlucky horse is going barefoot.
Q: Why did the elephant wear green sneakers instead of red ones?
A: The red ones were in the wash.
Q: Why is an Irish river rich?
A: Because it has two banks.
Q: What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green?
A: A Jolly Green Giant.
No man is an Ireland. - Richard Daley
Everyone is wise until he speaks. - Irish Drinking Toast
The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley
I'm just a true Irish boy at heart. - Colin Farrell
Yes, I am an Irish lass through and through. - Erin Andrews
When Irish eyes are smiling, watch your step. - Gerald Kersh
There are not many Irish people playing tennis. - Goran Ivanisevic
The Irish are a very popular race - with themselves. - Brendan Behan
I had that stubborn streak, the Irish in me I guess. - Gregory Peck
I'm Irish and Cherokee Indian. I can't faint. - Lynn Collins
I have a thing for red-haired Irish boys, as we know. - Sandra Bullock
I am Irish as a person, but I feel Jewish as an actor. - Harrison Ford
The Irish ignore anything they can't drink or punch. - James Boswell
Where would the Irish be without someone to be Irish at? - Elizabeth Bowen
The heart of an Irishman is nothing but his imagination. - George Bernard Shaw
I've had Irish skin from the time I was a young girl. - Lara Flynn Boyle
Bless your little Irish heart and every other Irish part. - Irish Blessings
If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks. - Brendan Behan
You think the Welsh are friendly, but the Irish are fabulous. - Bonnie Tyler
I'm an Irish Catholic and I have a long iceberg of guilt. - Edna O'Brien
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge
God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying
Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett
In Ireland, a writer is looked upon as a failed conversationalist. - Unknown
We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill
Irish people are educated not only about artistry but local history. - Fiona Shaw
Like an Irishman's obligation, all on the one side, and always yours. - English saying
Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis. - Brendan Behan
Wherever you go and whatever you do, may the luck of the Irish be there with you. - Irish Blessings
The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers
If you put an Irishman on a spit, you can always get another Irishman to baste him. - George Bernard Shaw
An Irishman can be worried by the consciousness that there is nothing to worry about. - Austin O'Malley
I am who I am: an Irish Catholic kid, working class from Long Island. And I made it big. - Bill O'Reilly
I'm Irish. That means I'm Catholic. But, truth is, now I'm a retired Christian. - Peter O'Toole
I had a very happy childhood, which is unsuitable if you're going to be an Irish writer. - Maeve Binchy
The trouble with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, with absolutely no talent. - Hugh Leonard
Irish boomerang: It doesn't come back, it just sings sad songs about how much it wants to. - Unknown
I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke
An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown
I'm proud of my Irish heritage and culture and this show will feature a lot of Irish dancing. - Michael Flatley
Definition of an Irish fact: That which tells you not what is the case but what you want to hear. - Hugh Kenner
The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet. - Oliver Herford
What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland
The problem with being Irish is having 'Riverdance' on your back. It's a burden at times. - Roddy Doyle
"Burn everything British," he once advised his Irish countrymen, "except their coal." - Jonathan Swift
The curse of the Irish is not that they don't know the words to a song - its that they know them all. - Susan Dooley
I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris
An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off the earth. - Unknown
In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue
If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
As I told Piers Morgan, 'Catholics have confession, whereas Northern Irish Protestants only have interviews.' - James Nesbitt
We've never been cool, we're hot. Irish people are Italians who can't dress, Jamaicans who can't dance. - Bono
The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad.
For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad. - G K Chesterton
If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft
Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt
It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody. - Brendan Behan
With such riches as I have in life, you're always nervous. Being Irish, you're waiting for something to knock it sideways. - Pierce Brosnan
Franklin D. Roosevelt: "Why do you Irish always answer a question with a question?",
New York Mayor Al Smith: "Do we now?" - Franklin D Roosevelt
Irish & St. Patrick’s Day
Going Green for Ireland
Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey!
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Weather Forecasting
St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
St. Patrick’s Dog
Teddy Bear Dance
What’s Under The Kilt?
Patience and Wisdom
Dead Sea Burgers
I Will Never Understand Fashion
Family Planning Advice
Cracks Me Up
Anger Release Machine
Palm Sunday Social Distancing Service