St. Patrick’s Day Riddles

What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?


Q:  What is out on the lawn all summer and is Irish?
A:  Paddy ’O’Furniture.

Q:  What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
A:  A sham rock.

Q:  Why do frogs like St. Patrick’s Day?
A:  Because they wear green.

Q:  When is an Irish Potato not an Irish Potato?
A:  When it’s a French fry.

Q:  What does it mean when you find a lucky horseshoe?
A:  Some unlucky horse is going barefoot.

Q:  Why did the elephant wear green sneakers instead of red ones?
A:  The red ones were in the wash.

Q:  Why is an Irish river rich?
A:  Because it has two banks.

Q:  What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green?
A:  A Jolly Green Giant.


QuotaBills
No man is an Ireland. - Richard Daley

Everyone is wise until he speaks. - Irish Drinking Toast

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

I'm just a true Irish boy at heart. - Colin Farrell

Yes, I am an Irish lass through and through. - Erin Andrews

When Irish eyes are smiling, watch your step. - Gerald Kersh

There are not many Irish people playing tennis. - Goran Ivanisevic

The Irish are a very popular race - with themselves. - Brendan Behan

I had that stubborn streak, the Irish in me I guess. - Gregory Peck

I'm Irish and Cherokee Indian. I can't faint. - Lynn Collins

I have a thing for red-haired Irish boys, as we know. - Sandra Bullock

I am Irish as a person, but I feel Jewish as an actor. - Harrison Ford

The Irish ignore anything they can't drink or punch. - James Boswell

Where would the Irish be without someone to be Irish at? - Elizabeth Bowen

The heart of an Irishman is nothing but his imagination. - George Bernard Shaw

I've had Irish skin from the time I was a young girl. - Lara Flynn Boyle

Bless your little Irish heart and every other Irish part. - Irish Blessings

If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks. - Brendan Behan

You think the Welsh are friendly, but the Irish are fabulous. - Bonnie Tyler

I'm an Irish Catholic and I have a long iceberg of guilt. - Edna O'Brien

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett

In Ireland, a writer is looked upon as a failed conversationalist. - Unknown

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

Irish people are educated not only about artistry but local history. - Fiona Shaw

Like an Irishman's obligation, all on the one side, and always yours. - English saying

Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis. - Brendan Behan

Wherever you go and whatever you do, may the luck of the Irish be there with you. - Irish Blessings

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

If you put an Irishman on a spit, you can always get another Irishman to baste him. - George Bernard Shaw

An Irishman can be worried by the consciousness that there is nothing to worry about. - Austin O'Malley

I am who I am: an Irish Catholic kid, working class from Long Island. And I made it big. - Bill O'Reilly

I'm Irish. That means I'm Catholic. But, truth is, now I'm a retired Christian. - Peter O'Toole

I had a very happy childhood, which is unsuitable if you're going to be an Irish writer. - Maeve Binchy

The trouble with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, with absolutely no talent. - Hugh Leonard

Irish boomerang: It doesn't come back, it just sings sad songs about how much it wants to. - Unknown

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

I'm proud of my Irish heritage and culture and this show will feature a lot of Irish dancing. - Michael Flatley

Definition of an Irish fact: That which tells you not what is the case but what you want to hear. - Hugh Kenner

The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet. - Oliver Herford

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

The problem with being Irish is having 'Riverdance' on your back. It's a burden at times. - Roddy Doyle

"Burn everything British," he once advised his Irish countrymen, "except their coal." - Jonathan Swift

The curse of the Irish is not that they don't know the words to a song - its that they know them all. - Susan Dooley

I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris

An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off the earth. - Unknown

In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

As I told Piers Morgan, 'Catholics have confession, whereas Northern Irish Protestants only have interviews.' - James Nesbitt

We've never been cool, we're hot. Irish people are Italians who can't dress, Jamaicans who can't dance. - Bono

The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad.
For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad. - G K Chesterton

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody. - Brendan Behan

With such riches as I have in life, you're always nervous. Being Irish, you're waiting for something to knock it sideways. - Pierce Brosnan

Franklin D. Roosevelt: "Why do you Irish always answer a question with a question?",
New York Mayor Al Smith: "Do we now?" - Franklin D Roosevelt


see also   Irish  &  St. Patrick’s Day   Sections
Going Green for Ireland
Green Beards
Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey!
Irish Alzheimers
Irish Bar
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Drink
Irish Exam
Irish Flood
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Virgin
Irish Weather Forecasting
Little Leprechaun
St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
St. Patrick’s Dog
Swimming Buddies
Teddy Bear Dance
What’s Under The Kilt?
 

Patience and Wisdom

Submarine Racing

Dead Sea Burgers

Sick Statue

I Will Never Understand Fashion

Courtesy Option

Ab Enhancer

Family Planning Advice

Cracks Me Up

Anger Release Machine

Closing Time

Palm Sunday Social Distancing Service

Beach Breakfast

Bicycle Dining

Shark Bike
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05-Apr-2020