St. Patrick’s Day Riddles

What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?


Q:  What is out on the lawn all summer and is Irish?
A:  Paddy ’O’Furniture.

Q:  What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
A:  A sham rock.

Q:  Why do frogs like St. Patrick’s Day?
A:  Because they wear green.

Q:  When is an Irish Potato not an Irish Potato?
A:  When it’s a French fry.

Q:  What does it mean when you find a lucky horseshoe?
A:  Some unlucky horse is going barefoot.

Q:  Why did the elephant wear green sneakers instead of red ones?
A:  The red ones were in the wash.

Q:  Why is an Irish river rich?
A:  Because it has two banks.

Q:  What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green?
A:  A Jolly Green Giant.


QuotaBills
My soul is still Irish. - Ciaran Hinds

There are not many Irish people playing tennis. - Goran Ivanisevic

I'm Irish. I think about death all the time. - Jack Nicholson

I come from a long line of staunch Irish Catholics. - Robert Vaughn

Our Irish blunders are never blunders of the heart. - Maria Edgeworth

The Irish are a very popular race - with themselves. - Brendan Behan

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

I'm Irish and Cherokee Indian. I can't faint. - Lynn Collins

I have a thing for red-haired Irish boys, as we know. - Sandra Bullock

Yelling Irish, you can sound like an angry Leprechaun. - Norman Reedus

I am Irish as a person, but I feel Jewish as an actor. - Harrison Ford

Where would the Irish be without someone to be Irish at? - Elizabeth Bowen

The heart of an Irishman is nothing but his imagination. - George Bernard Shaw

The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

My Irish derivation has nothing to do with me. Why should it? - Carroll O'Connor

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

The Irish forgive their great men when they are safely buried. - Unknown

I'm from durable stock. I'm made to work. I'm Irish. - Mary McCormack

The Irish are a fair people, they never speak well of one another. - Samuel Johnson

In Ireland, a writer is looked upon as a failed conversationalist. - Unknown

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

It is a symbol of Irish art. The cracked looking-glass of a servant. - James Joyce

Irish people are educated not only about artistry but local history. - Fiona Shaw

Even when they have nothing, the Irish emit a kind of happiness, a joy. - Fiona Shaw

Yancy is actually a Native-American name, but I'm Irish. Go figure. - Yancy Butler

Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty

I've heard some duff Irish accents. The worst must be Mickey Rourke. - James Nesbitt

Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis. - Brendan Behan

Being Irish is very much a part of who I am. I take it everywhere with me. - Colin Farrell

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

Wherever you go and whatever you do, may the luck of the Irish be there with you. - Irish Blessings

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

If you put an Irishman on a spit, you can always get another Irishman to baste him. - George Bernard Shaw

An Irishman can be worried by the consciousness that there is nothing to worry about. - Austin O'Malley

There are only two kinds of people in the world: the Irish and those who wish they were. - Irish Saying

The trouble with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, with absolutely no talent. - Hugh Leonard

I have a difficult time doing an Irish accent; even now, it kind of fades slowly into Scottish. - Robin Williams

I think the genetics of being Irish are that you sort of prefer when it's rainy and cloudy. - Kate Flannery

Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson

Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle

Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to. - Unknown

Definition of an Irish fact: That which tells you not what is the case but what you want to hear. - Hugh Kenner

I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

I think I'm going to keep my Irish accent forever now in any movie I make, because chicks dig it. - Chris O'Dowd

The problem with being Irish is having 'Riverdance' on your back. It's a burden at times. - Roddy Doyle

I'm Irish on St. Patrick's Day. I'm Italian on Columbus Day. I'm a New Yorker every day. - Tamara Tunie

The curse of the Irish is not that they don't know the words to a song - its that they know them all. - Susan Dooley

I think Paul McGuinness and U2 created the Irish music industry. It certainly wasn't there before that. - Van Morrison

I was freelancing for years in Cork and around. I also wrote freelance pieces for 'The Irish Times.' - Kevin Barry

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown

It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody. - Brendan Behan

That's what the holidays are for - for one person to tell the stories and another to dispute them. Isn't that the Irish way? - Lara Flynn Boyle

I'm Irish, so I'm used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I'll call it dinner. - Liam Neeson


see also   Irish  &  St. Patrick’s Day   Sections
Going Green for Ireland
Green Beards
Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey!
Irish Alzheimers
Irish Bar
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Drink
Irish Exam
Irish Flood
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Virgin
Irish Weather Forecasting
Little Leprechaun
St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
St. Patrick’s Dog
Swimming Buddies
Teddy Bear Dance
What’s Under The Kilt?
 

Waterslide Closet

Canadian Whiskey

Car-Eating Cow

Tea For Two

Paint Pants

Sea Sand Art

Grief Bacon

Respect For Grapes

Up Purriscope

Fresh Chicken

Ice Climbing Building

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Does Your Hedgehog Bite?

Lazy Line Painters

Vegan Brownies
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

18-Jan-2020