CEAD MILE FAILTE ROMHAT!

A Hundred Thousand Welcome To You!

Happy St. Patrick’s Day to all our Irish Friends!


The Fert
You have to know Robbie Burns poetry (Ode To A Mouse) to understand this one!

Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie
Lurks in yer belly efter the feastie
Just as ye sit doon among yer kin
There sterts to stir an enormous wind
The neeps and tatties and mushy peas
stert workin like a gentle breeze
but soon the puddin wi the sauncie face
will have ye blawin all ower the place
Nae matter whit the hell ye dae
a’bodys gonnae have tae pay
even if ye try to stifle
It’s like a bullet oot a rifle
Hawd yer bum tight tae the chair
tae try and stop the leakin air
shify yersel fae cheek tae cheek
Prae tae God it doesnae reek
But aw yer efforts go assunder
oot it comes like a clap a thunder
Ricochets aroon the room
michty me a sonic boom
God almighty it fairly reeks
Hope I huvnae shit ma breeks
tae the bog I better scurry
aw whit the hell, it’s no ma worry
A’body roon aboot me chokin
wan or two are nearly bokin
I’ll feel better for a while
Cannae help but raise a smile
Wis him! I shout with accusin glower
alas too late, he’s just keeled ower
Ye dirty bugger they shout and stare
A dinnae feel welcome any mair
Where e’re ye go let yer wind gan’ free
sounds like just the job fur me
whit a fuss at rabbie’s perty
ower the sake o’ won wee ferty

QuotaBills
No man is an Ireland. - Richard Daley

I'm Irish. We think sideways. - Spike Milligan

Everyone is wise until he speaks. - Irish Drinking Toast

Ireland is the old sow that eats her farrow. - James Joyce

When Irish eyes are smiling, watch your step. - Gerald Kersh

I'm Irish. I think about death all the time. - Jack Nicholson

Our Irish blunders are never blunders of the heart. - Maria Edgeworth

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

Yelling Irish, you can sound like an angry Leprechaun. - Norman Reedus

Where would the Irish be without someone to be Irish at? - Elizabeth Bowen

I've had Irish skin from the time I was a young girl. - Lara Flynn Boyle

The Irish forgive their great men when they are safely buried. - Unknown

I miss Irish milk. Probably not as much as Superquinn sausages. - Tristan MacManus

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett

In Ireland, a writer is looked upon as a failed conversationalist. - Unknown

Even when they have nothing, the Irish emit a kind of happiness, a joy. - Fiona Shaw

I had an Irish Catholic education. Horrible nuns, vindictive and cruel. - John Lydon

The Irish are a very fair people, they never speak well of one another. - Unknown

I've heard some duff Irish accents. The worst must be Mickey Rourke. - James Nesbitt

Being Irish is very much a part of who I am. I take it everywhere with me. - Colin Farrell

I come from an Irish Catholic family, and hell-raising is part of the DNA. - Brian Dennehy

The Irish and British, they love satire, it's a large part of the culture. - Ben Nicholson

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader

At the heart of the Irish economy has always been the philosophy of tax competitiveness. - Bono

There are only two kinds of people in the world: the Irish and those who wish they were. - Irish Saying

The Irish don't know what they want and are prepared to fight to the death to get it. - Sidney Littlewood

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

I had a very happy childhood, which is unsuitable if you're going to be an Irish writer. - Maeve Binchy

Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle

Definition of an Irish fact: That which tells you not what is the case but what you want to hear. - Hugh Kenner

The curse of the Irish is not that they don't know the words to a song - its that they know them all. - Susan Dooley

I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris

I was freelancing for years in Cork and around. I also wrote freelance pieces for 'The Irish Times.' - Kevin Barry

For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor

When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien


see also   Irish  &  St. Patrick’s Day   Sections
Going Green for Ireland
Green Beards
Irish Alzheimers
Irish Bar
Irish Birth Control
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Diplomacy
Irish Dock Overboard Oh-Nos
Irish Drink
Irish Exam
Irish Flood
Irish Rugby Fans
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Sunblock
Irish Weather Forecasting
Irish Virgin
Irish Weather Forecasting
Irishman’s First Baseball Game
Little Leprechaun
St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
St. Patrick’s Day Riddles
St. Patrick’s Dog
Swimming Buddies
Teddy Bear Dance
What’s Under The Kilt?

 

Take The Bus Home

Bent Car Sculpture

International Truck Bed

Strong Man

Snowbound Train

Not Without A Washer

Why Men Shouldn't Write Advice Columns

Washing Machine Cat

Ruined Bacon

Kellogg's Fire

Tip Discount

Staff Meeting

Prince Bag

Ice Cream Clouds

Sun Dial Fail
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24-Jan-2020