Babcock Divorce

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

A good lawyer is a bad neighbor. - French Proverb

The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

Lawyers are guardians of the legal order. - Philip Wood

He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb

A lawyer and a cart wheel must be greased. - John R Beard

What do you call a lawyer gone bad? Senator. - Marvin Lebman

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries

The power of the lawyer is in the uncertainty of the law. - Jeremy Bentham

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I've never been in love. I've always been a lawyer. - Unknown

How many lawyer jokes are there? One, the rest are true stories. - Thomas F Shubnell

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

All the honesty in the world ain't legal tender for a loaf of bread. - Josh Billings

He who will always be his own lawyer will often have a fool for a client. - J Hunter

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset I'm not a widow. - Roseanne Barr

It's every lawyer's dream to help shape the law, not just react to it. - Alan Dershowitz

Washington, D.C.: Where the criminals cover their crimes by making them legal. - Frank Dane

Time is money, especially when you're talking to a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe-kster

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost

Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet. - Robin Williams

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

A lawyer is a gentleman that rescues your estate from your enemies and then keeps it to himself. - Henry P Brougham

There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy. - Goldie Hawn

In Hollywood, an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty per cent of publicity. - Lauren Bacall

Why don't you ever hear of a lawyer getting attacked by a shark at the beach? Professional courtesy. - Thomas F Shubnell

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

A lawyer's duty is to read the law well himself, then tell the people what it is, and let them act upon it. - Brigham Young

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. - Will Rogers

No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison

Now we got a lawyer, we got civilization, which I understand to mean that a man has a chance to get rich without working. - Sinclair Lewis

The main business of a lawyer is to take the romance, the mystery, the irony, the ambiguity out of everything he touches. - Antonin Scalia

What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele

If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it. - Scott Adams

Honest and peace-loving people shun the Courts and are prepared to suffer loss rather than fall into a Lawyer's clutches. - Peter De Noronha

It is the business of a lawyer to find a hole to creep out of any law that is in his way; and if there is no hole, to make one. - W Ouseley

A lawyer's performance in the courtroom is responsible for about 25 percent of the outcome; the remaining 75 percent depends on the facts. - Melvin Belli