Border Smuggler

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, “What’s in the bags?” “Sand,” answers Juan. The guard says, “We’ll just see about that! Get off the bike.” The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man’s shoulders, and lets him cross the border. A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, “What have you got?” “Sand,” says Juan. The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to Juan, who crosses the border on his bicycle. This sequence of events if repeated every week for three years. Finally, Juan doesn’t show up one day and the guard meets him in a cantina in Mexico. “Hey, Buddy,” says the guard, “I know you are smuggling something. It’s driving me crazy. It’s all I think about. I can’t sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?” Juan sips his Corona and says, “Bicycles.” QuotaBills Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle. - Steven Wright A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn Those who trade liberty for security have neither. - John Adams A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem There is no security in this life. There is only opportunity. - Douglas MacAurthur A conquering army on the border will not be stopped by eloquence. - Otto von Bismarck Whenever I see an adult on a bicycle I have hope for the human race. - H G Wells We spend our time searching for security and hate it when we get it. - John Steinbeck Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving. - Albert Einstein Business is like riding a bicycle. Either you keep moving or you fall down. - John D. Wright He prefers the security of known misery to the misery of unfamiliar insecurity. - Sheldon B. Kopp Security is mostly a superstition. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. - Helen Keller It is true greatness to have in one the frailty of a man and the security of a god. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca I wear a fun sock when I travel to give the security staff a well-deserved chuckle. - Chelsea Peretti Real joy seems to me almost as unlike security or prosperity as it is unlike agony. - C S Lewis A gorilla with a cellphone riding a bicycle is bound to generate some clever captions. - Steve Breen Life is like riding a bicycle. You don't fall off unless you plan to stop pedaling. - Claude Pepper A man's own good breeding is the best security against other people's ill manners. - Lord Chesterfield I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson I took lessons in bicycle riding. But I could only afford half of them. Now I can ride a unicycle. - Steven Wright I do not think there is any silver bullet to solving the technology side of the security equation. - John W. Thompson Hard work is the soundest investment. It provides a neat security for your widow's next husband. - Unknown My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death. - James F. Bymes The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can. - Terry Pratchett If you can't even acknowledge that you have to fix social security, that's not a very good starting point. - Rob Portman People confuse amassing money with security, but it is not so. What a pity to confuse real security with making money. - Billy Graham My best security is within the munitions of an immutable Jehovah, where His unalterable promises stand like giant walls of rock. - Charles H Spurgeon When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" - Steven Wright If you like the outdoors, Colorado is a big adventure playground for adults: it's great for skiing, cycling, climbing, and hiking. - Tyler Hamilton People are often quite surprised by the sport and leisure activities practised by the blind. For example, tandem cycling is very popular. - Andrea Bocelli In a world of complex threats, our security and leadership depends on all elements of our power - including strong and principled diplomacy. - Barack Obama Social Security's not the hard one to solve. Medicare, that is the gorilla in the room, and you've got to put all of it on the table. - Joe Biden see also   Cycling  &  Police  Sections African Pit Bull Alien Smuggling Best Retriever Border Agent Alert Border Patrol At Its Finest Borderline Stupidity Comfortable Guard Dog Garage Watchdog Getting a Hairdryer Through Customs Guard Dog For Sale Guard Dog Security - How Fast Can You Run? Hay For Sale Is There Life After Death? 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17-May-2022