For his wife’s birthday party, a Doctor ordered a cake with this inscription:
You are not getting older.
You are just getting better.
Asked how he wanted the message arranged, he said, “Just put ‘You are not getting older’ at the top and ‘You are just getting better’ at the bottom.”
It wasn’t until the good Doctor was ready to serve the cake that he discovered that the cake read:
YOU ARE NOT GETTING OLDER AT THE TOP.
YOU ARE JUST GETTING BETTER AT THE BOTTOM.
I told you I was sick. - B.P. Roberts
Physician, heal thyself. - Luke 4:23
Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous
Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I think I can wipe out diabetes. - Robert Atkins
Good doctors make poor patients. - Unknown
Drill Sergeant: An army dentist. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Dentist Office: A filling station - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I'm not much of a cake person. - Daniel Radcliffe
Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. - Ernestine Ulmer
Live everyday like its your birthday. - Paris Hilton
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
The last birthday that's any good is 23. - Andy Rooney
Fashion saves a lot more lives than doctors. - Bruno Gehard
Better a lucky physician than a learned one. - English Proverb
The doctors X-rayed my head an found nothing. - Dizzy Dean
Space ails us moderns: we are sick with space. - Robert Frost
I am putting real plums into an imaginary cake. - Mary McCarthy
I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde
The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb
She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith
When I first found out I had diabetes I denied it. - Nell Carter
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck
A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb
Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing. - Johnny Depp
Psychiatrist: an M.D. who can't stand the sight of blood. - Unknown
I eat cake because it's somebody's birthday somewhere. - Unknown
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined. - Samuel Goldwyn
Writing is only the frosting on my cake. I'm whole without it. - Tabitha King
She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. - Groucho Marx
"Let 'em eat cake," to quote the late Mark Antonette. - Archie Bunker
I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. - Unknown
The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. - Joseph Heller
Observation, Reason, Human Understanding, Courage; these make the physician. - Martin H. Fischer
Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley
To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
It is said to be the manner of hypochondriacs to change often their physician. - William Cullen
I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
He's the best physician that knows the worthlessness of the most medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? - George Carlin
When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie? - Lisa Loeb
I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren
If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman
If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley
The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst
Virus is a Latin word used by doctors to mean 'your guess is as good as mine'. - Bob Hope
I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan
The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard
I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost
Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce
A bad review is like baking a cake with all the best ingredients and having someone sit on it. - Danielle Steel
We're really just the frosting on a cake and we don't know what's inside the cake. - Adam Riess
Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser
A physician buries his mistakes, a dentist pulls them out, but a teacher has to live with them. - Unknown
A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown
When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown
Diabetes occurs at twice the rate in the African American community as it does in white Americans. - Xavier Becerra
Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce
I remember when the candle shop burned won. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday." - Steven Wright
I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly
To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine
Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou
Psychiatry is the art of teaching people how to stand on their own two feet while reclining on couches. - Sigmund Freud
I was determined to share my positive approach and not let diabetes stand in the way of enjoying my life. - Paula Deen
One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman
Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. - Steven Wright
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown
People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit. - George Burns
'Tis not always in a physician's power to cure the sick; at times the disease is stronger than trained art. - Ovid
The public needs to know - they need to know as much about atrial fibrillation as they do about cancer and diabetes. - Barry Manilow
My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year. - Steven Wright
It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler
Each patient ought to feel somewhat the better after the physician's visit, irrespective of the nature of the illness. - Warfield Theobald Longcope
The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer
I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray
I like to eat pizza and spaghetti pomodoro, and I'm crazy for dessert. I like all of them: cassata, cheesecake, biscuits. - Stefano Gabbana
Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
Trying to manage diabetes is hard because if you don't, there are consequences you'll have to deal with later in life. - Bryan Adams
How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner
You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.' - Jerry Seinfeld
It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin
It's a piece of cake until you get to the top. You find you can't stop playing the game the way you've always played it. - Richard M Nixon
Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown
With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer
My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield
I'm going to make people happy. I'm going to make them forget about their cancer. I'm going to make them forget about their diabetes. - Dick Dale
Physician, heal thyself. - Luke 4:23
Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous
Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I think I can wipe out diabetes. - Robert Atkins
Good doctors make poor patients. - Unknown
Drill Sergeant: An army dentist. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Dentist Office: A filling station - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I'm not much of a cake person. - Daniel Radcliffe
Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. - Ernestine Ulmer
Live everyday like its your birthday. - Paris Hilton
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
The last birthday that's any good is 23. - Andy Rooney
Fashion saves a lot more lives than doctors. - Bruno Gehard
Better a lucky physician than a learned one. - English Proverb
The doctors X-rayed my head an found nothing. - Dizzy Dean
Space ails us moderns: we are sick with space. - Robert Frost
I am putting real plums into an imaginary cake. - Mary McCarthy
I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde
The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb
She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith
When I first found out I had diabetes I denied it. - Nell Carter
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck
A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb
Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing. - Johnny Depp
Psychiatrist: an M.D. who can't stand the sight of blood. - Unknown
I eat cake because it's somebody's birthday somewhere. - Unknown
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined. - Samuel Goldwyn
Writing is only the frosting on my cake. I'm whole without it. - Tabitha King
She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. - Groucho Marx
"Let 'em eat cake," to quote the late Mark Antonette. - Archie Bunker
I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. - Unknown
The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. - Joseph Heller
Observation, Reason, Human Understanding, Courage; these make the physician. - Martin H. Fischer
Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley
To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
It is said to be the manner of hypochondriacs to change often their physician. - William Cullen
I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
He's the best physician that knows the worthlessness of the most medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? - George Carlin
When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie? - Lisa Loeb
I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren
If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman
If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley
The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst
Virus is a Latin word used by doctors to mean 'your guess is as good as mine'. - Bob Hope
I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan
The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard
I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost
Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce
A bad review is like baking a cake with all the best ingredients and having someone sit on it. - Danielle Steel
We're really just the frosting on a cake and we don't know what's inside the cake. - Adam Riess
Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser
A physician buries his mistakes, a dentist pulls them out, but a teacher has to live with them. - Unknown
A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown
When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown
Diabetes occurs at twice the rate in the African American community as it does in white Americans. - Xavier Becerra
Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce
I remember when the candle shop burned won. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday." - Steven Wright
I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly
To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine
Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou
Psychiatry is the art of teaching people how to stand on their own two feet while reclining on couches. - Sigmund Freud
I was determined to share my positive approach and not let diabetes stand in the way of enjoying my life. - Paula Deen
One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman
Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. - Steven Wright
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown
People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit. - George Burns
'Tis not always in a physician's power to cure the sick; at times the disease is stronger than trained art. - Ovid
The public needs to know - they need to know as much about atrial fibrillation as they do about cancer and diabetes. - Barry Manilow
My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year. - Steven Wright
It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler
Each patient ought to feel somewhat the better after the physician's visit, irrespective of the nature of the illness. - Warfield Theobald Longcope
The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer
I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray
I like to eat pizza and spaghetti pomodoro, and I'm crazy for dessert. I like all of them: cassata, cheesecake, biscuits. - Stefano Gabbana
Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
Trying to manage diabetes is hard because if you don't, there are consequences you'll have to deal with later in life. - Bryan Adams
How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner
You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.' - Jerry Seinfeld
It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin
It's a piece of cake until you get to the top. You find you can't stop playing the game the way you've always played it. - Richard M Nixon
Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown
With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer
My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield
I'm going to make people happy. I'm going to make them forget about their cancer. I'm going to make them forget about their diabetes. - Dick Dale
see also Birthday, Doctor & Marriage Sections
Bacon Birthday Cake
Big Birthday Surprise
Birthday Dog
Blonde’s Birthday Task
Cake Message
Centennial Puff
Cheap Birthday Card
Crowded Birthday Party
DJ Birthday
Doctor Types
Family Birthday Reminder
Hippy Birthday
Jurassic Judah
Perfect Birthday Excuse
Redneck Birthday Cake
Shark Week Birthday Cake
“Underneath That” Cake
Woodcutter Birthday Cake
 Crowd Surfing - Expert Level |  Dream The Impossible |  When Life Gets You Down |  Redneck Estate Sale |  How To Tweet Others |
 Nutella Soother |  Autumn Camouflage |  Go Play Outside |  Be Someone |  Arkansas Divorce Application |
 Three Finger Carrot |  Braided Horse Tail |  Owl Glove |  Far North Cable Guys |  Openish Hours |
 Lead Sled Dog |  Pet Food Tester |  Gold Bar Carrot Cake |  Looking For A Mate |  Food For Thought |
 Kanye Twitty |  Skull Tentacles |  Ukrainian Cattle Car |  CreepEye |  Canadian Whiskey |
24-Oct-2021 |