For his wife’s birthday party, a Doctor ordered a cake with this inscription:
You are not getting older.
You are just getting better.
Asked how he wanted the message arranged, he said, “Just put ‘You are not getting older’ at the top and ‘You are just getting better’ at the bottom.”
It wasn’t until the good Doctor was ready to serve the cake that he discovered that the cake read:
YOU ARE NOT GETTING OLDER AT THE TOP.
YOU ARE JUST GETTING BETTER AT THE BOTTOM.
Let them eat cake. - Marie Antoinette
Gangrene: To be feeling sick - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb
Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid
I'm not much of a cake person. - Daniel Radcliffe
Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. - Ernestine Ulmer
A party without cake is just a meeting. - Julia Child
No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez
Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer
Time is a physician that heals every grief. - Diphilus
The last birthday that's any good is 23. - Andy Rooney
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. - George Burns
Fashion saves a lot more lives than doctors. - Bruno Gehard
Better a lucky physician than a learned one. - English Proverb
Space ails us moderns: we are sick with space. - Robert Frost
There is still no cure for the common birthday. - John Glenn
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore
My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker
When I first found out I had diabetes I denied it. - Nell Carter
My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown
Though physician to others, yet himself full of sores. - Latin Proverb
After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields
A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb
The cinema is not a slice of life, but a piece of cake. - Alfred Hitchcock
There is no physician who can cure the disease of love. - African Proverb
Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North
A sweating ovary or a sick prostate explains most history. - Martin H. Fischer
I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman
If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid
False Economy: using only 30 candles on her 40th birthday cake - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Be kind to your dentist because he has "fillings" too. - Unknown
Writing is only the frosting on my cake. I'm whole without it. - Tabitha King
Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman
The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard
My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg. - Cilla Black
Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley
A nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me. - Audrey Hepburn
It is said to be the manner of hypochondriacs to change often their physician. - William Cullen
This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh
I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown
Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield
I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire
This is a Jewish cake - they give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed. - Archie Bunker
Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham
The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentist's drill. - Leonard Woolf
Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. - Laurence J Peter
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard
Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold
We're really just the frosting on a cake and we don't know what's inside the cake. - Adam Riess
Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser
Everything slows down with age. Except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips. - John Wagner
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown
When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield
My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau
I was determined to share my positive approach and not let diabetes stand in the way of enjoying my life. - Paula Deen
Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons
I always add a year to myself, so I'm prepared for my next birthday. So when I was 39, I was already 40. - Nicolas Cage
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. - Steven Wright
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno
Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
I was diagnosed with diabetes at age 18. I didn't know what it was, so I went to the library and looked it up. - Ron Santo
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields
'Tis not always in a physician's power to cure the sick; at times the disease is stronger than trained art. - Ovid
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year. - Steven Wright
I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson
The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker
The only weapon with which the unconscious patient can immediately retaliate upon the incompetent surgeon is hemorrhage. - William Stewart Halsted
The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler
It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler
Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci
Each patient ought to feel somewhat the better after the physician's visit, irrespective of the nature of the illness. - Warfield Theobald Longcope
To the person with a toothache, even if the world is tottering, there is nothing more important than a visit to a dentist. - George Bernard Shaw
'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz
I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray
Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins
It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker
Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
If you're trying to create a company, it's like baking a cake. You have to have all the ingredients in the right proportion. - Elon Musk
I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed. - James Thurber
A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer
My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield
The physician should look upon the patient as a besieged city and try to rescue him with every means that art and science place at his command. - Alexander of Tralles
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler
Gangrene: To be feeling sick - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb
Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid
I'm not much of a cake person. - Daniel Radcliffe
Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. - Ernestine Ulmer
A party without cake is just a meeting. - Julia Child
No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez
Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer
Time is a physician that heals every grief. - Diphilus
The last birthday that's any good is 23. - Andy Rooney
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. - George Burns
Fashion saves a lot more lives than doctors. - Bruno Gehard
Better a lucky physician than a learned one. - English Proverb
Space ails us moderns: we are sick with space. - Robert Frost
There is still no cure for the common birthday. - John Glenn
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore
My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker
When I first found out I had diabetes I denied it. - Nell Carter
My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown
Though physician to others, yet himself full of sores. - Latin Proverb
After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields
A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb
The cinema is not a slice of life, but a piece of cake. - Alfred Hitchcock
There is no physician who can cure the disease of love. - African Proverb
Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North
A sweating ovary or a sick prostate explains most history. - Martin H. Fischer
I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman
If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid
False Economy: using only 30 candles on her 40th birthday cake - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Be kind to your dentist because he has "fillings" too. - Unknown
Writing is only the frosting on my cake. I'm whole without it. - Tabitha King
Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman
The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard
My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg. - Cilla Black
Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley
A nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me. - Audrey Hepburn
It is said to be the manner of hypochondriacs to change often their physician. - William Cullen
This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh
I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown
Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield
I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire
This is a Jewish cake - they give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed. - Archie Bunker
Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham
The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentist's drill. - Leonard Woolf
Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. - Laurence J Peter
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard
Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold
We're really just the frosting on a cake and we don't know what's inside the cake. - Adam Riess
Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser
Everything slows down with age. Except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips. - John Wagner
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown
When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield
My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau
I was determined to share my positive approach and not let diabetes stand in the way of enjoying my life. - Paula Deen
Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons
I always add a year to myself, so I'm prepared for my next birthday. So when I was 39, I was already 40. - Nicolas Cage
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. - Steven Wright
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno
Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
I was diagnosed with diabetes at age 18. I didn't know what it was, so I went to the library and looked it up. - Ron Santo
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields
'Tis not always in a physician's power to cure the sick; at times the disease is stronger than trained art. - Ovid
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year. - Steven Wright
I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson
The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker
The only weapon with which the unconscious patient can immediately retaliate upon the incompetent surgeon is hemorrhage. - William Stewart Halsted
The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler
It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler
Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci
Each patient ought to feel somewhat the better after the physician's visit, irrespective of the nature of the illness. - Warfield Theobald Longcope
To the person with a toothache, even if the world is tottering, there is nothing more important than a visit to a dentist. - George Bernard Shaw
'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz
I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray
Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins
It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker
Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
If you're trying to create a company, it's like baking a cake. You have to have all the ingredients in the right proportion. - Elon Musk
I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed. - James Thurber
A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer
My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield
The physician should look upon the patient as a besieged city and try to rescue him with every means that art and science place at his command. - Alexander of Tralles
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler
see also Birthday, Doctor & Marriage Sections
Bacon Birthday Cake
Big Birthday Surprise
Birthday Dog
Blonde’s Birthday Task
Cake Message
Centennial Puff
Cheap Birthday Card
Crowded Birthday Party
DJ Birthday
Doctor Types
Family Birthday Reminder
Hippy Birthday
Jurassic Judah
Perfect Birthday Excuse
Redneck Birthday Cake
Shark Week Birthday Cake
“Underneath That” Cake
Woodcutter Birthday Cake
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05-Jun-2020 |