For his wife’s birthday party, a Doctor ordered a cake with this inscription: Physician, heal thyself. - Luke 4:23 Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken Chocolate cake is the bomb! - Scarlett Pomers Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Drill Sergeant: An army dentist. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. - George Burns Fashion saves a lot more lives than doctors. - Bruno Gehard The doctors X-rayed my head an found nothing. - Dizzy Dean New Year's Day is every man's birthday. - Charles Lamb A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker Why do the best doctors have the sickest patients? - Unknown Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it. - Boris Johnson Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson Though physician to others, yet himself full of sores. - Latin Proverb Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts. - Homer Simpson Psychiatrist: an M.D. who can't stand the sight of blood. - Unknown Jockey: What a dentist uses when you won't open your mouth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth. - George D. Prentice Be kind to your dentist because he has "fillings" too. - Unknown My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. - Red Skelton She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. - Groucho Marx "Let 'em eat cake," to quote the late Mark Antonette. - Archie Bunker Operation: A surgical job taking minutes to do and years to describe - Daffynitions joe-ks.com The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter Doctors think a lot of patients are cured who have simply quit in disgust. - Don Herold Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley Doctors automatically know what's wrong with you. They have a sick sense. - Beau M To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? - George Carlin A psychiatrist is a man who goes to Les Folies Bergere and looks at the audience. - Mervyn Stockwood I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley As a child, I always chose a false nose and some face paint and a wig for my birthday. - Ashley Jensen Virus is a Latin word used by doctors to mean 'your guess is as good as mine'. - Bob Hope Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan We have always said that advertising is just the icing on the cake. It is not the cake. - Meg Whitman Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you're exactly the same. - Audrey Hepburn Life is not over because you have diabetes. Make the most of what you have, be grateful. - Dale Evans Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. - Laurence J Peter A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne Let your entrance into the sick room decrease, not increase, the irritability of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown You're getting old when the only thing you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it. - Felix Severn My physician has become warden of my medically imprisoned body, pharmaceuticals the bars on my cell. - Grey E. Livingston If Joan of Arc could turn the tide of an entire war before her 18th birthday, you can get out of bed. - E. Jean Carroll To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece. - Ludwig Erhard Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons You know when you eat too many sweets and get diabetes? Paparazzi are the diabetes of materialistic culture. - Shirley MacLaine If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer My heart, which is so full to overflowing, has often been solaced and refreshed by music when sick and weary. - Martin Luther For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. - Steven Wright Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson Dear Diamond, We all know who is really a girl's best friend. Yours sincerely, Chocolate Cake - Unknown I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers Albert Schweitzer's philosophy is that a sick, miserable African of today can be a strong healthy cannibal tomorrow. - Joe E Lewis The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer Pride: 1. A disease that makes everyone sick but the one who has it; 2. Pride is what we have - vanity is what others have. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com I like to eat pizza and spaghetti pomodoro, and I'm crazy for dessert. I like all of them: cassata, cheesecake, biscuits. - Stefano Gabbana Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. - Will Advise A physician's physiology has much the same relation to his power of healing as a cleric's divinity has to his power of influencing conduct. - Samuel Butler In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart see also Birthday, Doctor & Marriage Sections Bacon Birthday Cake Big Birthday Surprise Birthday Dog Blonde’s Birthday Task Cake Message Centennial Puff Cheap Birthday Card Crowded Birthday Party DJ Birthday Doctor Types Family Birthday Reminder Hippy Birthday Jurassic Judah Perfect Birthday Excuse Redneck Birthday Cake Shark Week Birthday Cake “Underneath That” Cake Woodcutter Birthday Cake |
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