For his wife’s birthday party, a Doctor ordered a cake with this inscription:
You are not getting older.
You are just getting better.
Asked how he wanted the message arranged, he said, “Just put ‘You are not getting older’ at the top and ‘You are just getting better’ at the bottom.”
It wasn’t until the good Doctor was ready to serve the cake that he discovered that the cake read:
YOU ARE NOT GETTING OLDER AT THE TOP.
YOU ARE JUST GETTING BETTER AT THE BOTTOM.
Physician, heal thyself. - Luke 4:23
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken
Chocolate cake is the bomb! - Scarlett Pomers
Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster
Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Drill Sergeant: An army dentist. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid
A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. - George Burns
Fashion saves a lot more lives than doctors. - Bruno Gehard
The doctors X-rayed my head an found nothing. - Dizzy Dean
New Year's Day is every man's birthday. - Charles Lamb
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker
Why do the best doctors have the sickest patients? - Unknown
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck
Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito
My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it. - Boris Johnson
Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson
Though physician to others, yet himself full of sores. - Latin Proverb
Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb
I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman
What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts. - Homer Simpson
Psychiatrist: an M.D. who can't stand the sight of blood. - Unknown
Jockey: What a dentist uses when you won't open your mouth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth. - George D. Prentice
Be kind to your dentist because he has "fillings" too. - Unknown
My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. - Red Skelton
She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. - Groucho Marx
"Let 'em eat cake," to quote the late Mark Antonette. - Archie Bunker
Operation: A surgical job taking minutes to do and years to describe - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard
The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter
Doctors think a lot of patients are cured who have simply quit in disgust. - Don Herold
Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley
Doctors automatically know what's wrong with you. They have a sick sense. - Beau M
To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh
I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? - George Carlin
A psychiatrist is a man who goes to Les Folies Bergere and looks at the audience. - Mervyn Stockwood
I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren
First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin
If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley
As a child, I always chose a false nose and some face paint and a wig for my birthday. - Ashley Jensen
Virus is a Latin word used by doctors to mean 'your guess is as good as mine'. - Bob Hope
Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis
I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan
We have always said that advertising is just the icing on the cake. It is not the cake. - Meg Whitman
Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you're exactly the same. - Audrey Hepburn
Life is not over because you have diabetes. Make the most of what you have, be grateful. - Dale Evans
Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. - Laurence J Peter
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne
Let your entrance into the sick room decrease, not increase, the irritability of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser
A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams
The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire
When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown
You're getting old when the only thing you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it. - Felix Severn
My physician has become warden of my medically imprisoned body, pharmaceuticals the bars on my cell. - Grey E. Livingston
If Joan of Arc could turn the tide of an entire war before her 18th birthday, you can get out of bed. - E. Jean Carroll
To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine
A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece. - Ludwig Erhard
Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons
You know when you eat too many sweets and get diabetes? Paparazzi are the diabetes of materialistic culture. - Shirley MacLaine
If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
My heart, which is so full to overflowing, has often been solaced and refreshed by music when sick and weary. - Martin Luther
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. - Steven Wright
Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson
Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker
The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
Albert Schweitzer's philosophy is that a sick, miserable African of today can be a strong healthy cannibal tomorrow. - Joe E Lewis
The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer
Pride: 1. A disease that makes everyone sick but the one who has it; 2. Pride is what we have - vanity is what others have. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I like to eat pizza and spaghetti pomodoro, and I'm crazy for dessert. I like all of them: cassata, cheesecake, biscuits. - Stefano Gabbana
Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin
Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty
Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown
If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. - Will Advise
A physician's physiology has much the same relation to his power of healing as a cleric's divinity has to his power of influencing conduct. - Samuel Butler
In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken
Chocolate cake is the bomb! - Scarlett Pomers
Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster
Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Drill Sergeant: An army dentist. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid
A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. - George Burns
Fashion saves a lot more lives than doctors. - Bruno Gehard
The doctors X-rayed my head an found nothing. - Dizzy Dean
New Year's Day is every man's birthday. - Charles Lamb
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker
Why do the best doctors have the sickest patients? - Unknown
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck
Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito
My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it. - Boris Johnson
Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson
Though physician to others, yet himself full of sores. - Latin Proverb
Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb
I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman
What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts. - Homer Simpson
Psychiatrist: an M.D. who can't stand the sight of blood. - Unknown
Jockey: What a dentist uses when you won't open your mouth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth. - George D. Prentice
Be kind to your dentist because he has "fillings" too. - Unknown
My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. - Red Skelton
She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. - Groucho Marx
"Let 'em eat cake," to quote the late Mark Antonette. - Archie Bunker
Operation: A surgical job taking minutes to do and years to describe - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard
The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter
Doctors think a lot of patients are cured who have simply quit in disgust. - Don Herold
Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley
Doctors automatically know what's wrong with you. They have a sick sense. - Beau M
To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh
I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? - George Carlin
A psychiatrist is a man who goes to Les Folies Bergere and looks at the audience. - Mervyn Stockwood
I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren
First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin
If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley
As a child, I always chose a false nose and some face paint and a wig for my birthday. - Ashley Jensen
Virus is a Latin word used by doctors to mean 'your guess is as good as mine'. - Bob Hope
Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis
I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan
We have always said that advertising is just the icing on the cake. It is not the cake. - Meg Whitman
Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you're exactly the same. - Audrey Hepburn
Life is not over because you have diabetes. Make the most of what you have, be grateful. - Dale Evans
Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. - Laurence J Peter
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne
Let your entrance into the sick room decrease, not increase, the irritability of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser
A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams
The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire
When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown
You're getting old when the only thing you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it. - Felix Severn
My physician has become warden of my medically imprisoned body, pharmaceuticals the bars on my cell. - Grey E. Livingston
If Joan of Arc could turn the tide of an entire war before her 18th birthday, you can get out of bed. - E. Jean Carroll
To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine
A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece. - Ludwig Erhard
Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons
You know when you eat too many sweets and get diabetes? Paparazzi are the diabetes of materialistic culture. - Shirley MacLaine
If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
My heart, which is so full to overflowing, has often been solaced and refreshed by music when sick and weary. - Martin Luther
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. - Steven Wright
Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson
Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker
The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
Albert Schweitzer's philosophy is that a sick, miserable African of today can be a strong healthy cannibal tomorrow. - Joe E Lewis
The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer
Pride: 1. A disease that makes everyone sick but the one who has it; 2. Pride is what we have - vanity is what others have. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I like to eat pizza and spaghetti pomodoro, and I'm crazy for dessert. I like all of them: cassata, cheesecake, biscuits. - Stefano Gabbana
Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin
Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty
Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown
If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. - Will Advise
A physician's physiology has much the same relation to his power of healing as a cleric's divinity has to his power of influencing conduct. - Samuel Butler
In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart
see also Birthday, Doctor & Marriage Sections
Bacon Birthday Cake
Big Birthday Surprise
Birthday Dog
Blonde’s Birthday Task
Cake Message
Centennial Puff
Cheap Birthday Card
Crowded Birthday Party
DJ Birthday
Doctor Types
Family Birthday Reminder
Hippy Birthday
Jurassic Judah
Perfect Birthday Excuse
Redneck Birthday Cake
Shark Week Birthday Cake
“Underneath That” Cake
Woodcutter Birthday Cake
 Ants Know When Something Is Fake |  Think Outside |  Despicable Wood Stove |  Engineering Flowchart |  Egotist |
 Hunter's Dream Wedding |  Paddy Field Canal |  Grow A Boyfriend |  Mars Images |  Drumset Motorcycle |
 Brick Shoes |  Custer's Last Stand? |  Hand Held Tourist |  Curly Heels |  Bottle Sneakret |
 Removed Posts |  Second Hand Work |  Ostrich Fill Up |  Calory Bomb |  Interuption Charge |
 Reach For Your Dreams |  Perception |  Jeopardy Measuring Cup |  All We Have To Do Is Stand Up |  Vacuum Extender |
30-Jun-2022 |