Jewish Samurai
Search for the new Chief Samurai

Once upon a time a powerful Emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new Chief Samurai. After a year, only three applied for the job: a Japanese, a Chinese and a Jewish Samurai.

“Demonstrate your skills!” commanded the Emperor.
The Japanese samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box and released a fly. He drew his samurai sword and * Swish! * the fly fell to the floor, neatly divided in two!
“What a feat!” said the Emperor.

“Number Two Samurai, show me what you can do.”
The Chinese samurai smiled confidently, stepped forward and opened a tiny box, releasing a fly. He drew his samurai sword and * Swish! * Swish! * The fly fell to the floor neatly quartered!
“That is skill!” nodded the Emperor.

“How are you going to top that, Number three Samurai?”
Number Three Samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box releasing one fly, drew his samurai sword and * Swoooooosh! * flourished his sword so mightily that a gust of wind blew through the room. But the fly was still buzzing around!

In disappointment, the Emperor said, “What kind of skill is that? The fly isn’t even dead.”

“Dead, schmead,” replied the Jewish Samurai. “Dead is easy. Circumcision... THAT takes skill!”



QuotaBills
Don't just fly, soar. - Walt Disney

If I cannot fly, let me sing. - Stephen Sondheim

The good of the people is the chief law. - Cicero

Would a fly without wings be called a walk? - George Carlin

I am the Roman Emperor and am above grammar. - Emperor Sigismund

Emperor Negro, who fiddled while Rome burned. - Archie Bunker

I rate enthusiasm even above professional skill. - Edward Appleton

Roasted pigeons will not fly into one's mouth. - Dutch Proverb

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. - Unknown

Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly. - G K Chesterton

Years fly by, but the heart stays in the same place. - Harlan Coben

Your wings already exist. All you have to do is fly. - Unknown

People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing. - Will Rogers

The chief business of the American people is business. - Calvin Coolidge

Luck is like having a rice dumpling fly into your mouth. - Japanese Proverb

I think being a dragon would be pretty awesome... you get to fly. - Josh Keaton

Marketing and innovation are the two chief functions of business. - Peter F Drucker

I have wings on the back of my shoulders and I'm ready to fly. - Pamela Laskin

Logic is like the sword - those who appeal to it shall perish by it. - Edward Gibbon

Tea should be as bitter as wormwood and as sharp as a two-edged sword. - Lemony Snicket

If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus. - Robin Williams

Giving your son a skill is better than giving him one thousand pieces of gold. - Chinese Proverb

Humour is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood. - Mary Hirsch

I know of only one bird (the parrot) that talks; and it can't fly very high. - Wilbur Wright

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. - Muhammad Ali

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly. - Lanston Hughes

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

You can't fly with the owls by night and expect to keep up with the eagles during the day. - Unknown

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows. - Doug Larson

So many tangles in life are ultimately hopeless that we have no appropriate sword other than laughter. - Gordon W Allport

Learn to close your eyes and trust. Learn to open your heart and love. Learn to take the risk and fly. - Maxime Lagace

Take your work, but never yourself, seriously. Pour in the love and whatever skill you have, and it will come out. - Chuck Jones

As the eagle was killed by the arrow winged with his own feather, so the hand of the world is wounded by its own skill. - Helen Keller

He who would learn to fly on day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

I'm a storyteller - that's the chief function of a director. And they're moving pictures, let's make 'em move! - Howard Hawks

We are faced with the paradoxical fact that education has become one of the chief obstacles to intelligence and freedom of thought. - Bertrand Russell

In this year, King Aethelstan, Lord of Warriors, ring-giver to men... won eternal glory, in battle with sword edges, around Brunaburh. - Unknown

The formulation of a problem is often more essential than its solution, which may be merely a matter of mathematical or experimental skill. - Albert Einstein

Emotion is the chief source of becoming conscious. There can be no transforming of lightness into dark, of apathy into movement without emotion. - Carl Jung


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16-Jan-2022