Jewish Samurai
Search for the new Chief Samurai

Once upon a time a powerful Emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new Chief Samurai. After a year, only three applied for the job: a Japanese, a Chinese and a Jewish Samurai.

“Demonstrate your skills!” commanded the Emperor.
The Japanese samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box and released a fly. He drew his samurai sword and * Swish! * the fly fell to the floor, neatly divided in two!
“What a feat!” said the Emperor.

“Number Two Samurai, show me what you can do.”
The Chinese samurai smiled confidently, stepped forward and opened a tiny box, releasing a fly. He drew his samurai sword and * Swish! * Swish! * The fly fell to the floor neatly quartered!
“That is skill!” nodded the Emperor.

“How are you going to top that, Number three Samurai?”
Number Three Samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box releasing one fly, drew his samurai sword and * Swoooooosh! * flourished his sword so mightily that a gust of wind blew through the room. But the fly was still buzzing around!

In disappointment, the Emperor said, “What kind of skill is that? The fly isn’t even dead.”

“Dead, schmead,” replied the Jewish Samurai. “Dead is easy. Circumcision... THAT takes skill!”



QuotaBills
Hire character. Train skill. - Peter Schutz

You're beautiful, like a May fly. - Ernest Hemingway

The good of the people is the chief law. - Cicero

Thanks, Darth Obvious. Or is it Emperor Palpable? - Chuck Wendig

Roasted pigeons will not fly into one's mouth. - Dutch Proverb

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. - Unknown

Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly. - G K Chesterton

Years fly by, but the heart stays in the same place. - Harlan Coben

The chief business of the American people is business. - Calvin Coolidge

When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece. - John Ruskin

Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side. - Archie Bunker

Making good decisions is a crucial skill at every level. - Peter F Drucker

Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it. - Henny Youngman

I'm Jewish, so I don't know much about Easter eggs. - Simon Kinberg

He imagines a necessary joy in things that must fly to eat. - Wendell Berry

If God wanted us to fly, he would have given us air tickets. - Mel Brooks

The sky is the limit only for those who aren't afraid to fly. - Bob Bello

I think being a dragon would be pretty awesome... you get to fly. - Josh Keaton

In the long run, the sword will always be conquered by the spirit. - Napoleon Bonaparte

On average it takes 10,000 hours of practice to truly master a skill. - Malcolm Gladwell

Tea should be as bitter as wormwood and as sharp as a two-edged sword. - Lemony Snicket

We laugh, we cry, we make time fly. We are best friends, my mom and I. - Unknown

Luke, I don't want to lose you to the Emperor the way I lost Vader. - Obi Wan Kenobi

Laughter is, after speech, the chief thing that holds society together. - Max Eastman

If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus. - Robin Williams

If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport. - Jonathan Winters

Now that I've found the way to fly, which direction should I go into the night? - Ally Condie

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. - Muhammad Ali

This is a Jewish cake - they give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed. - Archie Bunker

A great athlete does not come from muscle, speed, and skill, but from the mind first. - Dan E. Welker

Man's chief enemy is his own unruly nature and the dark forces pent up within him. - Ernst Jones

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

There are two ways to conquer and enslave a nation. One is by the sword. The other is by debt. - John Adams

The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what you want most for what you want right now. - Zig Ziglar

A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. - Samuel Johnson

As the eagle was killed by the arrow winged with his own feather, so the hand of the world is wounded by its own skill. - Helen Keller

The reason birds can fly and we can't is simply because they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings. - J.M. Barrie

Luke, you can destroy the Emperor. He has foreseen this. It is your destiny. Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son. - Darth Vader

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet. - Rumi


see also   Armed Forces,   Medical  &  Nationality  Sections
Bread Shortage for Jewish Customer
Jewish-Chinese Night before Christmas
Jewish Fire Department
Jewish Holiday
Jewish Humour
Jewish Mother-In-Law
Portable Samurai
Samurai Sudoku

 

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25-May-2020