Exhausting Gyne Work

Top marks for pulling out a car engine


A gynaecologist was getting tired of his job and decided to switch careers. He’d always enjoyed tinkering with engines, so he enrolled in a school for car mechanics.

When the class ended the students were given their final exam: strip a car engine completely and reassemble it in perfect working order.

The gynaecologist did his best - and was amazed to find he scored 150%.

“How could that be?” he asked.

“Well,” said the instructor, “I gave you 50% for taking the engine apart. Next, I gave you 50% for reassembling it - a fantastic job, really. And then I gave you a 50% bonus for doing it all through the exhaust pipe.”


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The cure for grief is motion. - Elbert Hubbard

The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

A canter is the cure for all evil. - Benjamin Disraeli

I could eat my body weight in sushi. - Mikey Way

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

The human body is the best work of art. - Jess C. Scott

Happiness is health and a short memory. - Unknown

I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West

Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen

The best cure for the body is a quiet mind. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

There is still no cure for the common birthday. - John Glenn

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. - Ben Franklin

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

You can't cure stupid, but you can sedate it. - Unknown

The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore

My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

Never ever lose your head. Its the best part of your body. - Art Rooney

What air is to the body, to feel understood is to the heart. - Stephen Covey

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb

Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

Of all ills that one endures, hope is a cheap and universal cure. - Abraham Cowley

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. - Dorothy Parker

That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett

Your body is not a temple, it's an amusement park. Enjoy the ride. - Anthony Bourdain

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

The colder the X-Ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. - Steven Wright

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

Diabetes is all about insulin levels and sugar levels and what you put in your body. - Jay Cutler

One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

When once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh

My body is like breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I don't think about it, I just have it. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a King. - Elizabeth I

The most important pieces of equipment you need for doing yoga are your body and your mind. - Rodney Yee

Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them. - Sylvia Plath

Twists are wonderful for whittling your waist, stretching your back, and detoxifying the body. - Mandy Ingber

Instead of letting your hardships and failures discourage or exhaust you, let them inspire you. - Michelle Obama

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

Tattoos have a power and magic all their own. They decorate the body but they also enhance the soul. - Michelle Delio

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

If you would perfect your body, guard your mind.
If you would renew your body, beautify your mind. - James Allen

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood

Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah

Yoga is really trying to liberate us from shame about our bodies. To love your body is a very important thing. - Rodney Yee

If you do a good job for others, you heal yourself at the same time, because a dose of joy is a spiritual cure. - Ed Sullivan

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

It's a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate. - Dave Barry

Concentrating on poses clears the mind, while focusing on the breath helps the body shift out of fight or flight mode. - Melanie Haiken

I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

There's a belonging problem in Hollywood. Who dictates who belongs? The very body who dictates that looks all one way. - Ava DuVernay

One of the greatest things about the sport of surfing is that you need only three things: your body, a surfboard, and a wave. - Naima Green

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury

There is a great difference between mind and body insomuch as body is by nature always divisible, and the mind is entirely indivisible. - Rene Descartes

Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles

Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid

Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros

In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart


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09-Aug-2020