Exhausting Gyne Work

Top marks for pulling out a car engine


A gynaecologist was getting tired of his job and decided to switch careers. He’d always enjoyed tinkering with engines, so he enrolled in a school for car mechanics.

When the class ended the students were given their final exam: strip a car engine completely and reassemble it in perfect working order.

The gynaecologist did his best - and was amazed to find he scored 150%.

“How could that be?” he asked.

“Well,” said the instructor, “I gave you 50% for taking the engine apart. Next, I gave you 50% for reassembling it - a fantastic job, really. And then I gave you a 50% bonus for doing it all through the exhaust pipe.”


QuotaBills
Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

A canter is the cure for all evil. - Benjamin Disraeli

We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut

Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I could eat my body weight in sushi. - Mikey Way

I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West

No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror. - Danny Zuker

Psychoanalysis is the disease it claims to cure. - Karl Kraus

The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

Life without liberty is like a body without spirit. - Khalil Gibran

Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul. - Unknown

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

Dancing: The Highest Intelligence in the Freest Body. - Isadora Duncan

There is no physician who can cure the disease of love. - African Proverb

There is no cure for death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

For broken dreams, the cure is dream again; and deeper. - C S Lewis

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body. - Seneca

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

Never ever lose your head. Its the best part of your body. - Art Rooney

The best cure for unrequited love: get to know them better. - Alain de Botton

You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go. - Bill Watterson

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen

Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live. - Jim Rohn

Of all ills that one endures, hope is a cheap and universal cure. - Abraham Cowley

There is but one temple in the universe and that is the body of man. - Novalis

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield

If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger. - Frank Lloyd Wright

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

The body is your temple. Keep it pure and clean for the soul to reside in. - B.K. Iyengar

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk

We have so many words for states of mind, and so few words for the states of the body. - Jeanne Moreau

The cure for a broken heart is simple, my lady. A hot bath and a good night's sleep. - Margaret George

Seafood is one of the easiest things to digest - a bratwurst is really hard on the body. - Joey Chestnut

The patient does not care about your science; what he wants to know is, can you cure him? - Martin H. Fischer

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

To cure the British disease with socialism was like trying to cure leukemia with leeches. - Margaret Thatcher

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

My body is like breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I don't think about it, I just have it. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

The human mind treats a new idea the way the body treats a strange protein: it rejects it. - P.B. Medawar

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them. - Sylvia Plath

Twists are wonderful for whittling your waist, stretching your back, and detoxifying the body. - Mandy Ingber

Genuine feelings cannot be produced, nor can they be eradicated. The body sticks to the facts. - Alice Miller

Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser

Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records. - Unknown

My tastes are not those of the king, who has none, except for hunting and mechanic's labour. - Marie Antoinette

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

A lot of what passes for depression these days is nothing more than a body saying that it needs work. - Geoffrey Norman

They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten

Yoga is really trying to liberate us from shame about our bodies. To love your body is a very important thing. - Rodney Yee

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Health is your greatest wealth, so experiencing a marathon and seeing what you're capable of is really special. - Christy Turlington

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Perfect freedom is as necessary to the health and vigor of commerce as it is to the health and vigor of citizenship. - Patrick Henry

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

We are, as a species, addicted to story. Even when the body goes to sleep, the mind stays up all night, telling itself stories. - John Gottschall

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

There is a great difference between mind and body insomuch as body is by nature always divisible, and the mind is entirely indivisible. - Rene Descartes

A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair

Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid

Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. - Bible

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle


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20-Jan-2021