A gynaecologist was getting tired of his job and decided to switch careers. He’d always enjoyed tinkering with engines, so he enrolled in a school for car mechanics. Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken Deliver: An organ in de body - Daffynitions joe-ks.com The cure for grief is motion. - Elbert Hubbard The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet I've tried body surfing. It's nice. - Ziggy Marley A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb You can't cure stupid, but you can sedate it. - Unknown The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. - Joseph Addison Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson A fit, healthy body - that is the best fashion statement. - Jess C. Scott Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris I have the body of an 18-year-old. I keep it in the fridge. - Spike Milligan What air is to the body, to feel understood is to the heart. - Stephen Covey Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Of all ills that one endures, hope is a cheap and universal cure. - Abraham Cowley Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome There is nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure. - Jack E Leonard The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham Lake: Large body of water into which a kid will jump should his friends do so - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured. - B.K. Iyengar When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham Grave: A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student - Daffynitions joe-ks.com The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams We have so many words for states of mind, and so few words for the states of the body. - Jeanne Moreau You have to look for teachers. If you want to be a mechanic, go hang out with mechanics. - Robert Kiyosaki Seafood is one of the easiest things to digest - a bratwurst is really hard on the body. - Joey Chestnut The patient does not care about your science; what he wants to know is, can you cure him? - Martin H. Fischer Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben To cure the British disease with socialism was like trying to cure leukemia with leeches. - Margaret Thatcher Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison The human mind treats a new idea the way the body treats a strange protein: it rejects it. - P.B. Medawar We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul. - Oscar Wilde I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip The world was made for the body. The body was made for the soul. And the soul was made for God. - Ravi Zacharias My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown I don't know why they call it heartbreak. It feels like every part of my body is broken too. - Unknown Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov If you do a good job for others, you heal yourself at the same time, because a dose of joy is a spiritual cure. - Ed Sullivan The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno Even if you don't have time for a big workout, stretching in the morning and night really changes your body. - Erin Heatherton Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child A designer is an emerging synthesis of artist, inventor, mechanic, objective economist and evolutionary strategist. - R. Buckminster Fuller There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. - George Carlin One of the greatest things about the sport of surfing is that you need only three things: your body, a surfboard, and a wave. - Naima Green The twelve notes in each octave and the variety of rhythm offer me opportunities that all of human genius will never exhaust. - Igor Stravinsky We are, as a species, addicted to story. Even when the body goes to sleep, the mind stays up all night, telling itself stories. - John Gottschall I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner There is a great difference between mind and body insomuch as body is by nature always divisible, and the mind is entirely indivisible. - Rene Descartes When a woman puts on a heel, she has a different posture, a different attitude. She really stands up and has a consciousness of her body. - Christian Louboutin When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. - Bible Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart see also Car, Doctor & Mechanical Sections Acceptable Doctors Sign Car Surgeon Colon Celery Colorectal Exam For Dogs Colorectal Surgeon Praise Constipated Mathematician First Proctologist Exam (PG) German Flatulence Control Japanese Diving Platform Proctologist Call Proctologist’s Second-Hand Prescription |
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