A gynaecologist was getting tired of his job and decided to switch careers. He’d always enjoyed tinkering with engines, so he enrolled in a school for car mechanics.
When the class ended the students were given their final exam: strip a car engine completely and reassemble it in perfect working order.
The gynaecologist did his best - and was amazed to find he scored 150%.
“How could that be?” he asked.
“Well,” said the instructor, “I gave you 50% for taking the engine apart. Next, I gave you 50% for reassembling it - a fantastic job, really. And then I gave you a 50% bonus for doing it all through the exhaust pipe.”
The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous
Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster
I could eat my body weight in sushi. - Mikey Way
A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb
I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali
Happiness is health and a short memory. - Unknown
The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron
Psychoanalysis is the disease it claims to cure. - Karl Kraus
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
You can't cure stupid, but you can sedate it. - Unknown
The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore
My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck
As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul. - Unknown
I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia
After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields
Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North
You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body. - C S Lewis
What air is to the body, to feel understood is to the heart. - Stephen Covey
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid
The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen
Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb
There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana
Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live. - Jim Rohn
Of all ills that one endures, hope is a cheap and universal cure. - Abraham Cowley
Food for the body is not enough. There must be food for the soul. - Dorothy Day
The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. - Dorothy Parker
That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson
Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette
I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders. - Rodney Dangerfield
If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger. - Frank Lloyd Wright
Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown
Mental will is a muscle that needs exercise, just like muscles of the body. - Lynn Jennings
Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham
To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
My favorite thing about the human body is that we're all basically doughnuts. - Tyler Oakley
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx
A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh
People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders
There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland
But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi
People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca
We have so many words for states of mind, and so few words for the states of the body. - Jeanne Moreau
When the body of the people is possessed of the supreme power, it is called a democracy. - Charles de Secondat
You have to look for teachers. If you want to be a mechanic, go hang out with mechanics. - Robert Kiyosaki
The cure for a broken heart is simple, my lady. A hot bath and a good night's sleep. - Margaret George
The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer
To cure the British disease with socialism was like trying to cure leukemia with leeches. - Margaret Thatcher
Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope
Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer
Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison
The human mind treats a new idea the way the body treats a strange protein: it rejects it. - P.B. Medawar
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
The most important pieces of equipment you need for doing yoga are your body and your mind. - Rodney Yee
I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne
Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger
Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha
Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon
I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail
I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer
Tattoos have a power and magic all their own. They decorate the body but they also enhance the soul. - Michelle Delio
For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones
My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well been documented, are various other parts of my body. - Donald Trump
An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten
I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw
If you do a good job for others, you heal yourself at the same time, because a dose of joy is a spiritual cure. - Ed Sullivan
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno
Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw
The soul is placed in the body like a rough diamond, and must be polished, or the luster of it will never appear. - Daniel Defoe
Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain
Health is your greatest wealth, so experiencing a marathon and seeing what you're capable of is really special. - Christy Turlington
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke
It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler
The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer
You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie
A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body - let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel. - Unknown
Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw
Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul. - John Muir
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan
There is a great difference between mind and body insomuch as body is by nature always divisible, and the mind is entirely indivisible. - Rene Descartes
There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman
If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do. - George S Patton
Behind my smile is a broken heart; behind my laugh I'm falling apart; behind my eyes are tears at night; behind my body is a soul trying to fight. - Unknown
Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous
Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster
I could eat my body weight in sushi. - Mikey Way
A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb
I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali
Happiness is health and a short memory. - Unknown
The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron
Psychoanalysis is the disease it claims to cure. - Karl Kraus
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
You can't cure stupid, but you can sedate it. - Unknown
The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore
My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck
As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul. - Unknown
I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia
After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields
Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North
You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body. - C S Lewis
What air is to the body, to feel understood is to the heart. - Stephen Covey
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid
The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen
Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb
There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana
Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live. - Jim Rohn
Of all ills that one endures, hope is a cheap and universal cure. - Abraham Cowley
Food for the body is not enough. There must be food for the soul. - Dorothy Day
The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. - Dorothy Parker
That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson
Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette
I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders. - Rodney Dangerfield
If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger. - Frank Lloyd Wright
Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown
Mental will is a muscle that needs exercise, just like muscles of the body. - Lynn Jennings
Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham
To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
My favorite thing about the human body is that we're all basically doughnuts. - Tyler Oakley
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx
A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh
People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders
There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland
But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi
People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca
We have so many words for states of mind, and so few words for the states of the body. - Jeanne Moreau
When the body of the people is possessed of the supreme power, it is called a democracy. - Charles de Secondat
You have to look for teachers. If you want to be a mechanic, go hang out with mechanics. - Robert Kiyosaki
The cure for a broken heart is simple, my lady. A hot bath and a good night's sleep. - Margaret George
The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer
To cure the British disease with socialism was like trying to cure leukemia with leeches. - Margaret Thatcher
Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope
Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer
Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison
The human mind treats a new idea the way the body treats a strange protein: it rejects it. - P.B. Medawar
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
The most important pieces of equipment you need for doing yoga are your body and your mind. - Rodney Yee
I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne
Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger
Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha
Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon
I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail
I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer
Tattoos have a power and magic all their own. They decorate the body but they also enhance the soul. - Michelle Delio
For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones
My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well been documented, are various other parts of my body. - Donald Trump
An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten
I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw
If you do a good job for others, you heal yourself at the same time, because a dose of joy is a spiritual cure. - Ed Sullivan
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno
Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw
The soul is placed in the body like a rough diamond, and must be polished, or the luster of it will never appear. - Daniel Defoe
Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain
Health is your greatest wealth, so experiencing a marathon and seeing what you're capable of is really special. - Christy Turlington
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke
It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler
The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer
You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie
A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body - let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel. - Unknown
Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw
Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul. - John Muir
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan
There is a great difference between mind and body insomuch as body is by nature always divisible, and the mind is entirely indivisible. - Rene Descartes
There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman
If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do. - George S Patton
Behind my smile is a broken heart; behind my laugh I'm falling apart; behind my eyes are tears at night; behind my body is a soul trying to fight. - Unknown
see also Car, Doctor & Mechanical Sections
Acceptable Doctors Sign
Car Surgeon
Colon Celery
Colorectal Exam For Dogs
Colorectal Surgeon Praise
Constipated Mathematician
First Proctologist Exam (PG)
German Flatulence Control
Japanese Diving Platform
Proctologist Call
Proctologist’s Second-Hand Prescription
 Jarred Cat |  Frog Waltz |  SinkHole Pickup |  Always Use Your Mirrors |  Johnny On The Pot's Plumber Truck |
 Wrench Wheel |  Bonsai Fruit Tree |  Bussines Gaurd |  Saxy Shoe |  Mayweather Momma |
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26-May-2020 |