A gynaecologist was getting tired of his job and decided to switch careers. He’d always enjoyed tinkering with engines, so he enrolled in a school for car mechanics.
When the class ended the students were given their final exam: strip a car engine completely and reassemble it in perfect working order.
The gynaecologist did his best - and was amazed to find he scored 150%.
“How could that be?” he asked.
“Well,” said the instructor, “I gave you 50% for taking the engine apart. Next, I gave you 50% for reassembling it - a fantastic job, really. And then I gave you a 50% bonus for doing it all through the exhaust pipe.”
The cure for grief is motion. - Elbert Hubbard
The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid
A canter is the cure for all evil. - Benjamin Disraeli
I could eat my body weight in sushi. - Mikey Way
A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb
The human body is the best work of art. - Jess C. Scott
Happiness is health and a short memory. - Unknown
I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West
Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen
The best cure for the body is a quiet mind. - Napoleon Bonaparte
Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet
There is still no cure for the common birthday. - John Glenn
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. - Ben Franklin
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
You can't cure stupid, but you can sedate it. - Unknown
The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore
My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown
Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito
Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur
Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura
After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields
No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb
I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder
Never ever lose your head. Its the best part of your body. - Art Rooney
What air is to the body, to feel understood is to the heart. - Stephen Covey
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid
Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb
Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier
Of all ills that one endures, hope is a cheap and universal cure. - Abraham Cowley
The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. - Dorothy Parker
That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett
Your body is not a temple, it's an amusement park. Enjoy the ride. - Anthony Bourdain
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow
Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard
My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
The colder the X-Ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. - Steven Wright
Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire
I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind
Diabetes is all about insulin levels and sugar levels and what you put in your body. - Jay Cutler
One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk
The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer
When once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh
My body is like breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I don't think about it, I just have it. - Arnold Schwarzenegger
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope
I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a King. - Elizabeth I
The most important pieces of equipment you need for doing yoga are your body and your mind. - Rodney Yee
Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them. - Sylvia Plath
Twists are wonderful for whittling your waist, stretching your back, and detoxifying the body. - Mandy Ingber
Instead of letting your hardships and failures discourage or exhaust you, let them inspire you. - Michelle Obama
Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha
I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail
I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer
Tattoos have a power and magic all their own. They decorate the body but they also enhance the soul. - Michelle Delio
A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald
For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones
My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau
If you would perfect your body, guard your mind.
If you would renew your body, beautify your mind. - James Allen
The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood
Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah
Yoga is really trying to liberate us from shame about our bodies. To love your body is a very important thing. - Rodney Yee
If you do a good job for others, you heal yourself at the same time, because a dose of joy is a spiritual cure. - Ed Sullivan
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain
Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope
There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
It's a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate. - Dave Barry
Concentrating on poses clears the mind, while focusing on the breath helps the body shift out of fight or flight mode. - Melanie Haiken
I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
There's a belonging problem in Hollywood. Who dictates who belongs? The very body who dictates that looks all one way. - Ava DuVernay
One of the greatest things about the sport of surfing is that you need only three things: your body, a surfboard, and a wave. - Naima Green
Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon
Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin
My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner
I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury
There is a great difference between mind and body insomuch as body is by nature always divisible, and the mind is entirely indivisible. - Rene Descartes
Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles
Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid
Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros
In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart
The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid
A canter is the cure for all evil. - Benjamin Disraeli
I could eat my body weight in sushi. - Mikey Way
A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb
The human body is the best work of art. - Jess C. Scott
Happiness is health and a short memory. - Unknown
I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West
Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen
The best cure for the body is a quiet mind. - Napoleon Bonaparte
Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet
There is still no cure for the common birthday. - John Glenn
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. - Ben Franklin
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
You can't cure stupid, but you can sedate it. - Unknown
The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore
My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown
Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito
Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur
Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura
After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields
No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb
I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder
Never ever lose your head. Its the best part of your body. - Art Rooney
What air is to the body, to feel understood is to the heart. - Stephen Covey
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid
Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb
Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier
Of all ills that one endures, hope is a cheap and universal cure. - Abraham Cowley
The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. - Dorothy Parker
That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett
Your body is not a temple, it's an amusement park. Enjoy the ride. - Anthony Bourdain
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow
Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard
My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
The colder the X-Ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. - Steven Wright
Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire
I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind
Diabetes is all about insulin levels and sugar levels and what you put in your body. - Jay Cutler
One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk
The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer
When once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh
My body is like breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I don't think about it, I just have it. - Arnold Schwarzenegger
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope
I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a King. - Elizabeth I
The most important pieces of equipment you need for doing yoga are your body and your mind. - Rodney Yee
Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them. - Sylvia Plath
Twists are wonderful for whittling your waist, stretching your back, and detoxifying the body. - Mandy Ingber
Instead of letting your hardships and failures discourage or exhaust you, let them inspire you. - Michelle Obama
Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha
I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail
I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer
Tattoos have a power and magic all their own. They decorate the body but they also enhance the soul. - Michelle Delio
A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald
For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones
My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau
If you would perfect your body, guard your mind.
If you would renew your body, beautify your mind. - James Allen
The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood
Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah
Yoga is really trying to liberate us from shame about our bodies. To love your body is a very important thing. - Rodney Yee
If you do a good job for others, you heal yourself at the same time, because a dose of joy is a spiritual cure. - Ed Sullivan
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain
Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope
There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
It's a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate. - Dave Barry
Concentrating on poses clears the mind, while focusing on the breath helps the body shift out of fight or flight mode. - Melanie Haiken
I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
There's a belonging problem in Hollywood. Who dictates who belongs? The very body who dictates that looks all one way. - Ava DuVernay
One of the greatest things about the sport of surfing is that you need only three things: your body, a surfboard, and a wave. - Naima Green
Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon
Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin
My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner
I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury
There is a great difference between mind and body insomuch as body is by nature always divisible, and the mind is entirely indivisible. - Rene Descartes
Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles
Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid
Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros
In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart
see also Car, Doctor & Mechanical Sections
Acceptable Doctors Sign
Car Surgeon
Colon Celery
Colorectal Exam For Dogs
Colorectal Surgeon Praise
Constipated Mathematician
First Proctologist Exam (PG)
German Flatulence Control
Japanese Diving Platform
Proctologist Call
Proctologist’s Second-Hand Prescription
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09-Aug-2020 |