A gynaecologist was getting tired of his job and decided to switch careers. He’d always enjoyed tinkering with engines, so he enrolled in a school for car mechanics.
When the class ended the students were given their final exam: strip a car engine completely and reassemble it in perfect working order.
The gynaecologist did his best - and was amazed to find he scored 150%.
“How could that be?” he asked.
“Well,” said the instructor, “I gave you 50% for taking the engine apart. Next, I gave you 50% for reassembling it - a fantastic job, really. And then I gave you a 50% bonus for doing it all through the exhaust pipe.”
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken
The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Deliver: An organ in de body - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
A canter is the cure for all evil. - Benjamin Disraeli
I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali
Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen
Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman
The best cure for the body is a quiet mind. - Napoleon Bonaparte
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
I've tried body surfing. It's nice. - Ziggy Marley
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. - Ben Franklin
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates
My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. - WC Fields
As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
For broken dreams, the cure is dream again; and deeper. - C S Lewis
A fit, healthy body - that is the best fashion statement. - Jess C. Scott
Never ever lose your head. Its the best part of your body. - Art Rooney
Happiness is not being pained in body or troubled in mind. - Thomas Jefferson
The best cure for unrequited love: get to know them better. - Alain de Botton
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid
Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler
Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb
Food for the body is not enough. There must be food for the soul. - Dorothy Day
Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome
There is nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure. - Jack E Leonard
That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson
I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald
The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller
Your body is not a temple, it's an amusement park. Enjoy the ride. - Anthony Bourdain
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow
Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke
Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your health. - Unknown
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
In these times, God's people must trust him for rest of body and soul. - David Wilkerson
Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings
Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield
When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx
Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham
No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild
It is not the body's posture, but the heart's attitude that counts when we pray. - Billy Graham
The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben
To cure the British disease with socialism was like trying to cure leukemia with leeches. - Margaret Thatcher
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman
My body is like breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I don't think about it, I just have it. - Arnold Schwarzenegger
The human mind treats a new idea the way the body treats a strange protein: it rejects it. - P.B. Medawar
A body of men holding themselves accountable to nobody ought not to be trusted by anybody. - Thomas Paine
The most important pieces of equipment you need for doing yoga are your body and your mind. - Rodney Yee
I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker
Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter
My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Steven Wright
Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records. - Unknown
The world was made for the body. The body was made for the soul. And the soul was made for God. - Ravi Zacharias
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin
I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall
What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith
The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer
If you would perfect your body, guard your mind.
If you would renew your body, beautify your mind. - James Allen
They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood
If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine
Yoga is really trying to liberate us from shame about our bodies. To love your body is a very important thing. - Rodney Yee
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman
The soul is placed in the body like a rough diamond, and must be polished, or the luster of it will never appear. - Daniel Defoe
Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child
A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history. - Mahatma Gandhi
A designer is an emerging synthesis of artist, inventor, mechanic, objective economist and evolutionary strategist. - R. Buckminster Fuller
Health is your greatest wealth, so experiencing a marathon and seeing what you're capable of is really special. - Christy Turlington
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
Perfect freedom is as necessary to the health and vigor of commerce as it is to the health and vigor of citizenship. - Patrick Henry
There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden
It's a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate. - Dave Barry
I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck
One of the greatest things about the sport of surfing is that you need only three things: your body, a surfboard, and a wave. - Naima Green
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner
A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair
Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles
Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler
The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Deliver: An organ in de body - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
A canter is the cure for all evil. - Benjamin Disraeli
I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali
Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen
Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman
The best cure for the body is a quiet mind. - Napoleon Bonaparte
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
I've tried body surfing. It's nice. - Ziggy Marley
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. - Ben Franklin
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates
My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. - WC Fields
As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
For broken dreams, the cure is dream again; and deeper. - C S Lewis
A fit, healthy body - that is the best fashion statement. - Jess C. Scott
Never ever lose your head. Its the best part of your body. - Art Rooney
Happiness is not being pained in body or troubled in mind. - Thomas Jefferson
The best cure for unrequited love: get to know them better. - Alain de Botton
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid
Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler
Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb
Food for the body is not enough. There must be food for the soul. - Dorothy Day
Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome
There is nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure. - Jack E Leonard
That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson
I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald
The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller
Your body is not a temple, it's an amusement park. Enjoy the ride. - Anthony Bourdain
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow
Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke
Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your health. - Unknown
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
In these times, God's people must trust him for rest of body and soul. - David Wilkerson
Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings
Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield
When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx
Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham
No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild
It is not the body's posture, but the heart's attitude that counts when we pray. - Billy Graham
The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben
To cure the British disease with socialism was like trying to cure leukemia with leeches. - Margaret Thatcher
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman
My body is like breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I don't think about it, I just have it. - Arnold Schwarzenegger
The human mind treats a new idea the way the body treats a strange protein: it rejects it. - P.B. Medawar
A body of men holding themselves accountable to nobody ought not to be trusted by anybody. - Thomas Paine
The most important pieces of equipment you need for doing yoga are your body and your mind. - Rodney Yee
I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker
Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter
My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Steven Wright
Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records. - Unknown
The world was made for the body. The body was made for the soul. And the soul was made for God. - Ravi Zacharias
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin
I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall
What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith
The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer
If you would perfect your body, guard your mind.
If you would renew your body, beautify your mind. - James Allen
They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood
If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine
Yoga is really trying to liberate us from shame about our bodies. To love your body is a very important thing. - Rodney Yee
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman
The soul is placed in the body like a rough diamond, and must be polished, or the luster of it will never appear. - Daniel Defoe
Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child
A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history. - Mahatma Gandhi
A designer is an emerging synthesis of artist, inventor, mechanic, objective economist and evolutionary strategist. - R. Buckminster Fuller
Health is your greatest wealth, so experiencing a marathon and seeing what you're capable of is really special. - Christy Turlington
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
Perfect freedom is as necessary to the health and vigor of commerce as it is to the health and vigor of citizenship. - Patrick Henry
There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden
It's a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate. - Dave Barry
I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck
One of the greatest things about the sport of surfing is that you need only three things: your body, a surfboard, and a wave. - Naima Green
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner
A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair
Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles
Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler
see also Car, Doctor & Mechanical Sections
Acceptable Doctors Sign
Car Surgeon
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17-Oct-2021 |