A gynaecologist was getting tired of his job and decided to switch careers. He’d always enjoyed tinkering with engines, so he enrolled in a school for car mechanics.
When the class ended the students were given their final exam: strip a car engine completely and reassemble it in perfect working order.
The gynaecologist did his best - and was amazed to find he scored 150%.
“How could that be?” he asked.
“Well,” said the instructor, “I gave you 50% for taking the engine apart. Next, I gave you 50% for reassembling it - a fantastic job, really. And then I gave you a 50% bonus for doing it all through the exhaust pipe.”
Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin
Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous
Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster
I could eat my body weight in sushi. - Mikey Way
A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb
No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror. - Danny Zuker
There is still no cure for the common birthday. - John Glenn
False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
You can't cure stupid, but you can sedate it. - Unknown
My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker
Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates
A room without books is like a body without a soul. - Marcus Tullius Cicero
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck
Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. - Joseph Addison
Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur
Dancing: The Highest Intelligence in the Freest Body. - Isadora Duncan
The only parts left of my original body are my elbows. - Phyllis Diller
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction. - Steven Wright
There is no physician who can cure the disease of love. - African Proverb
There is no cure for death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana
Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton
I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder
Never ever lose your head. Its the best part of your body. - Art Rooney
Happiness is not being pained in body or troubled in mind. - Thomas Jefferson
If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid
Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans
Food for the body is not enough. There must be food for the soul. - Dorothy Day
Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter
The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. - Dorothy Parker
I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders. - Rodney Dangerfield
Your body is not a temple, it's an amusement park. Enjoy the ride. - Anthony Bourdain
Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
In these times, God's people must trust him for rest of body and soul. - David Wilkerson
A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker
In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero
Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham
Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown
When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell
Age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. - Unknown
There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland
Diabetes is all about insulin levels and sugar levels and what you put in your body. - Jay Cutler
The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley
Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams
People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca
The patient does not care about your science; what he wants to know is, can you cure him? - Martin H. Fischer
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben
Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul. - Oscar Wilde
Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
The word 'hackathon' was born out of 'marathon' for a reason. It's exhausting. - Neil Blumenthal
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin
What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith
Tattoos have a power and magic all their own. They decorate the body but they also enhance the soul. - Michelle Delio
A lot of what passes for depression these days is nothing more than a body saying that it needs work. - Geoffrey Norman
For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones
The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer
To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine
If you would perfect your body, guard your mind.
If you would renew your body, beautify your mind. - James Allen
They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey
The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain
My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well been documented, are various other parts of my body. - Donald Trump
Yoga is really trying to liberate us from shame about our bodies. To love your body is a very important thing. - Rodney Yee
What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease. - Alexander Pope
The soul is placed in the body like a rough diamond, and must be polished, or the luster of it will never appear. - Daniel Defoe
When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham
Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht
Concentrating on poses clears the mind, while focusing on the breath helps the body shift out of fight or flight mode. - Melanie Haiken
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck
One of the greatest things about the sport of surfing is that you need only three things: your body, a surfboard, and a wave. - Naima Green
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins
Science may have found a cure for most evils, but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all - the apathy of human beings. - Helen Keller
I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin
My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
I don't know what's more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or the acting like you know what you're doing. - Jim Gaffigan
Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes
Getting wrapped up in worries is bad for your body and spirit. That's when you must short out your logic circuits and reboot your heart. - Pokemon
Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. - Bible
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler
Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous
Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster
I could eat my body weight in sushi. - Mikey Way
A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb
No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror. - Danny Zuker
There is still no cure for the common birthday. - John Glenn
False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
You can't cure stupid, but you can sedate it. - Unknown
My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker
Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates
A room without books is like a body without a soul. - Marcus Tullius Cicero
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck
Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. - Joseph Addison
Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur
Dancing: The Highest Intelligence in the Freest Body. - Isadora Duncan
The only parts left of my original body are my elbows. - Phyllis Diller
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction. - Steven Wright
There is no physician who can cure the disease of love. - African Proverb
There is no cure for death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana
Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton
I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder
Never ever lose your head. Its the best part of your body. - Art Rooney
Happiness is not being pained in body or troubled in mind. - Thomas Jefferson
If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid
Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans
Food for the body is not enough. There must be food for the soul. - Dorothy Day
Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter
The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. - Dorothy Parker
I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders. - Rodney Dangerfield
Your body is not a temple, it's an amusement park. Enjoy the ride. - Anthony Bourdain
Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
In these times, God's people must trust him for rest of body and soul. - David Wilkerson
A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker
In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero
Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham
Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown
When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell
Age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. - Unknown
There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland
Diabetes is all about insulin levels and sugar levels and what you put in your body. - Jay Cutler
The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley
Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams
People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca
The patient does not care about your science; what he wants to know is, can you cure him? - Martin H. Fischer
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben
Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul. - Oscar Wilde
Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
The word 'hackathon' was born out of 'marathon' for a reason. It's exhausting. - Neil Blumenthal
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin
What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith
Tattoos have a power and magic all their own. They decorate the body but they also enhance the soul. - Michelle Delio
A lot of what passes for depression these days is nothing more than a body saying that it needs work. - Geoffrey Norman
For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones
The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer
To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine
If you would perfect your body, guard your mind.
If you would renew your body, beautify your mind. - James Allen
They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey
The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain
My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well been documented, are various other parts of my body. - Donald Trump
Yoga is really trying to liberate us from shame about our bodies. To love your body is a very important thing. - Rodney Yee
What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease. - Alexander Pope
The soul is placed in the body like a rough diamond, and must be polished, or the luster of it will never appear. - Daniel Defoe
When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham
Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht
Concentrating on poses clears the mind, while focusing on the breath helps the body shift out of fight or flight mode. - Melanie Haiken
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck
One of the greatest things about the sport of surfing is that you need only three things: your body, a surfboard, and a wave. - Naima Green
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins
Science may have found a cure for most evils, but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all - the apathy of human beings. - Helen Keller
I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin
My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
I don't know what's more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or the acting like you know what you're doing. - Jim Gaffigan
Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes
Getting wrapped up in worries is bad for your body and spirit. That's when you must short out your logic circuits and reboot your heart. - Pokemon
Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. - Bible
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler
see also Car, Doctor & Mechanical Sections
Acceptable Doctors Sign
Car Surgeon
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Colorectal Surgeon Praise
Constipated Mathematician
First Proctologist Exam (PG)
German Flatulence Control
Japanese Diving Platform
Proctologist Call
Proctologist’s Second-Hand Prescription
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25-Oct-2020 |