A gynaecologist was getting tired of his job and decided to switch careers. He’d always enjoyed tinkering with engines, so he enrolled in a school for car mechanics.
When the class ended the students were given their final exam: strip a car engine completely and reassemble it in perfect working order.
The gynaecologist did his best - and was amazed to find he scored 150%.
“How could that be?” he asked.
“Well,” said the instructor, “I gave you 50% for taking the engine apart. Next, I gave you 50% for reassembling it - a fantastic job, really. And then I gave you a 50% bonus for doing it all through the exhaust pipe.”
The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Deliver: An organ in de body - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The cure for grief is motion. - Elbert Hubbard
Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb
Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Anatomical: Joe-ks about the body - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid
A canter is the cure for all evil. - Benjamin Disraeli
I could eat my body weight in sushi. - Mikey Way
I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali
The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard
Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
I've tried body surfing. It's nice. - Ziggy Marley
The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb
The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore
Be strong in body, clean in mind, lofty in ideals. - James Naismith
A room without books is like a body without a soul. - Marcus Tullius Cicero
I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia
Dancing: The Highest Intelligence in the Freest Body. - Isadora Duncan
Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson
Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb
There is no physician who can cure the disease of love. - African Proverb
For broken dreams, the cure is dream again; and deeper. - C S Lewis
I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder
He who enjoys good health is rich, though he knows it not. - Italian Proverb
You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body. - C S Lewis
The best cure for unrequited love: get to know them better. - Alain de Botton
You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go. - Bill Watterson
If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin
What air is to the body, to feel understood is to the heart. - Stephen Covey
A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer
The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley
Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb
Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Markus Herz
A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier
There is nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure. - Jack E Leonard
Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter
The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. - Dorothy Parker
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes
That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson
My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. - Red Skelton
There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel
The body is your temple. Keep it pure and clean for the soul to reside in. - B.K. Iyengar
In these times, God's people must trust him for rest of body and soul. - David Wilkerson
Mental will is a muscle that needs exercise, just like muscles of the body. - Lynn Jennings
To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire
Age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. - Unknown
Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham
Diabetes is all about insulin levels and sugar levels and what you put in your body. - Jay Cutler
First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin
One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk
We have so many words for states of mind, and so few words for the states of the body. - Jeanne Moreau
The patient does not care about your science; what he wants to know is, can you cure him? - Martin H. Fischer
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope
The human mind treats a new idea the way the body treats a strange protein: it rejects it. - P.B. Medawar
Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee
Instead of letting your hardships and failures discourage or exhaust you, let them inspire you. - Michelle Obama
My tastes are not those of the king, who has none, except for hunting and mechanic's labour. - Marie Antoinette
The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin
Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce
I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer
A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald
To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons
My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well been documented, are various other parts of my body. - Donald Trump
Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman
What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease. - Alexander Pope
Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain
There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
It's a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate. - Dave Barry
Concentrating on poses clears the mind, while focusing on the breath helps the body shift out of fight or flight mode. - Melanie Haiken
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke
There's a belonging problem in Hollywood. Who dictates who belongs? The very body who dictates that looks all one way. - Ava DuVernay
You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon
A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body - let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel. - Unknown
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain
I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright
Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles
I'm building a glass pyramid over the Egyptian escalator where my body will be mummified, so my customers can come and see me forever. - Mohamed Al-Fayed
Getting wrapped up in worries is bad for your body and spirit. That's when you must short out your logic circuits and reboot your heart. - Pokemon
My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield
Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler
In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart
Deliver: An organ in de body - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The cure for grief is motion. - Elbert Hubbard
Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb
Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Anatomical: Joe-ks about the body - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid
A canter is the cure for all evil. - Benjamin Disraeli
I could eat my body weight in sushi. - Mikey Way
I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali
The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard
Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
I've tried body surfing. It's nice. - Ziggy Marley
The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb
The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore
Be strong in body, clean in mind, lofty in ideals. - James Naismith
A room without books is like a body without a soul. - Marcus Tullius Cicero
I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia
Dancing: The Highest Intelligence in the Freest Body. - Isadora Duncan
Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson
Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb
There is no physician who can cure the disease of love. - African Proverb
For broken dreams, the cure is dream again; and deeper. - C S Lewis
I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder
He who enjoys good health is rich, though he knows it not. - Italian Proverb
You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body. - C S Lewis
The best cure for unrequited love: get to know them better. - Alain de Botton
You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go. - Bill Watterson
If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin
What air is to the body, to feel understood is to the heart. - Stephen Covey
A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer
The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley
Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb
Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Markus Herz
A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier
There is nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure. - Jack E Leonard
Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter
The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. - Dorothy Parker
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes
That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson
My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. - Red Skelton
There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel
The body is your temple. Keep it pure and clean for the soul to reside in. - B.K. Iyengar
In these times, God's people must trust him for rest of body and soul. - David Wilkerson
Mental will is a muscle that needs exercise, just like muscles of the body. - Lynn Jennings
To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire
Age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. - Unknown
Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham
Diabetes is all about insulin levels and sugar levels and what you put in your body. - Jay Cutler
First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin
One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk
We have so many words for states of mind, and so few words for the states of the body. - Jeanne Moreau
The patient does not care about your science; what he wants to know is, can you cure him? - Martin H. Fischer
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope
The human mind treats a new idea the way the body treats a strange protein: it rejects it. - P.B. Medawar
Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee
Instead of letting your hardships and failures discourage or exhaust you, let them inspire you. - Michelle Obama
My tastes are not those of the king, who has none, except for hunting and mechanic's labour. - Marie Antoinette
The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin
Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce
I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer
A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald
To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons
My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well been documented, are various other parts of my body. - Donald Trump
Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman
What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease. - Alexander Pope
Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain
There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
It's a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate. - Dave Barry
Concentrating on poses clears the mind, while focusing on the breath helps the body shift out of fight or flight mode. - Melanie Haiken
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke
There's a belonging problem in Hollywood. Who dictates who belongs? The very body who dictates that looks all one way. - Ava DuVernay
You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon
A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body - let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel. - Unknown
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain
I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright
Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles
I'm building a glass pyramid over the Egyptian escalator where my body will be mummified, so my customers can come and see me forever. - Mohamed Al-Fayed
Getting wrapped up in worries is bad for your body and spirit. That's when you must short out your logic circuits and reboot your heart. - Pokemon
My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield
Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler
In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart
see also Car, Doctor & Mechanical Sections
Acceptable Doctors Sign
Car Surgeon
Colon Celery
Colorectal Exam For Dogs
Colorectal Surgeon Praise
Constipated Mathematician
First Proctologist Exam (PG)
German Flatulence Control
Japanese Diving Platform
Proctologist Call
Proctologist’s Second-Hand Prescription
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