Exhausting Gyne Work

Top marks for pulling out a car engine


A gynaecologist was getting tired of his job and decided to switch careers. He’d always enjoyed tinkering with engines, so he enrolled in a school for car mechanics.

When the class ended the students were given their final exam: strip a car engine completely and reassemble it in perfect working order.

The gynaecologist did his best - and was amazed to find he scored 150%.

“How could that be?” he asked.

“Well,” said the instructor, “I gave you 50% for taking the engine apart. Next, I gave you 50% for reassembling it - a fantastic job, really. And then I gave you a 50% bonus for doing it all through the exhaust pipe.”


QuotaBills
The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster

I could eat my body weight in sushi. - Mikey Way

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

Happiness is health and a short memory. - Unknown

The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

Psychoanalysis is the disease it claims to cure. - Karl Kraus

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

You can't cure stupid, but you can sedate it. - Unknown

The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore

My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul. - Unknown

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North

You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body. - C S Lewis

What air is to the body, to feel understood is to the heart. - Stephen Covey

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen

Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live. - Jim Rohn

Of all ills that one endures, hope is a cheap and universal cure. - Abraham Cowley

Food for the body is not enough. There must be food for the soul. - Dorothy Day

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. - Dorothy Parker

That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson

Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette

I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders. - Rodney Dangerfield

If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

Mental will is a muscle that needs exercise, just like muscles of the body. - Lynn Jennings

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

My favorite thing about the human body is that we're all basically doughnuts. - Tyler Oakley

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

We have so many words for states of mind, and so few words for the states of the body. - Jeanne Moreau

When the body of the people is possessed of the supreme power, it is called a democracy. - Charles de Secondat

You have to look for teachers. If you want to be a mechanic, go hang out with mechanics. - Robert Kiyosaki

The cure for a broken heart is simple, my lady. A hot bath and a good night's sleep. - Margaret George

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

To cure the British disease with socialism was like trying to cure leukemia with leeches. - Margaret Thatcher

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison

The human mind treats a new idea the way the body treats a strange protein: it rejects it. - P.B. Medawar

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

The most important pieces of equipment you need for doing yoga are your body and your mind. - Rodney Yee

I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

Tattoos have a power and magic all their own. They decorate the body but they also enhance the soul. - Michelle Delio

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well been documented, are various other parts of my body. - Donald Trump

An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten

I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw

If you do a good job for others, you heal yourself at the same time, because a dose of joy is a spiritual cure. - Ed Sullivan

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

The soul is placed in the body like a rough diamond, and must be polished, or the luster of it will never appear. - Daniel Defoe

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain

Health is your greatest wealth, so experiencing a marathon and seeing what you're capable of is really special. - Christy Turlington

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie

A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body - let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel. - Unknown

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul. - John Muir

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan

There is a great difference between mind and body insomuch as body is by nature always divisible, and the mind is entirely indivisible. - Rene Descartes

There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman

If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do. - George S Patton

Behind my smile is a broken heart; behind my laugh I'm falling apart; behind my eyes are tears at night; behind my body is a soul trying to fight. - Unknown


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26-May-2020