Stabity Stab Stab

A young soldier, just before battle, told his sergeant that he didn’t have a rifle.
“That’s no problem, son,” said the sergeant. “Here, take this broom. Just point it at the Germans, and go ‘Bangety Bang Bang’.”
“But what about a bayonet, Sarge?” asked the young (and gullible) recruit.
The sergeant pulls a piece of straw from the end of the broom, and attaches it to the handle end. “Here, use this... just go, ‘Stabity Stab Stab’.”

The recruit ends up alone on the battlefield, holding just his broom. Suddenly, a German soldier charges at him.
The recruit points the broom. “Bangety Bang Bang!” The German falls dead. More Germans appear. The recruit, amazed at his good luck, goes “Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!” He mows down the enemy by the dozens.
Finally, the battlefield is clear, except for one German soldier walking slowly toward him. “Bangety Bang Bang!” shouts the recruit.
The German keeps coming.
“Bangety Bang Bang!” repeats the recruit, to no avail. He gets desperate. “Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!”

It’s no use. The German keeps coming. He stomps the recruit into the ground, and says...
“Tankety Tank Tank.”

What happens when both sides have no weapons...

QuotaBills
Gun Control: Using both hands - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

An army marches on its stomach. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Police do not belong in war zones. - Daniel K Moran

Love is a kind of military service. - Ovid

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

If we don't end war, war will end us. - H G Wells

To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war. - Winston Churchill

He everywhere sought excuses for stirring up war. - Livy

In war there is no second prize for the runner-up. - Omar Bradley

Free speech is a great idea, but we're in a war. - Lindsey Graham

Of all times in time of war the press should be free. - William Borah

France has lost the battle, but France has not lost the war. - Charles de Gaulle

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? - Mae West

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. - Sun Tzu

World War II was the last government program that really worked. - George Will

Mankind must put an end to war, or war will put an end to mankind. - John F Kennedy

It is well that war is so terrible, or we should grow too fond of it. - Robert E Lee

When starting and waging war it is not right that matters, but victory. - Adolf Hitler

Your heaviest artillery will be your will to live. Keep that big gun going. - Norman Cousins

You can get a lot farther with a kind word and a gun than a kind word alone. - Al Capone

Two armies that fight each other is like one large army that commits suicide. - Henri Barbusse

When I take a gun in hand, the safest place for a pheasant is just opposite the muzzle. - Sydney Smith

'Jihad' can mean holy war to extremists, but it means struggle to the average Muslim. - Feisal Abdul Rauf

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

It no longer makes economic sense to send an advertising message to the many in hopes of persuading the few. - M. Lawrence Light

Only when holiness and worship meet can evil be conquered. For that, only the Christian message has the answer. - Ravi Zacharias

The policemen or soldiers are only a gun in the establishments hand. They make the racist secure in his racism. - Huey Newton

In July of 2004, I came out strongly against the war with Iraq because it was going to destabilize the Middle East. - Donald Trump

Only think of two things - the gun and the tape. When you hear the one, just run like hell until you break the other. - Sam Mussabini

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun. - P G Wodehouse

But here's what I've learned in this war, in this country, in this city: to love the miracle of having been born. - Oriana Fallaci

I find capitalism repugnant. It is filthy, it is gross, it is alienating... because it causes war, hypocrisy and competition. - Fidel Castro

The only difference between a pigeon and the American farmer today is that a pigeon can still make a deposit on a John Deere. - Jim Hightower

Maybe I couldn’t be dafter,
But I keep wondering if this time we settle our differences before a war instead of after. - Ogden Nash

The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular. - Jay Leno

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

Once we have a war there is only one thing to do. It must be won. For defeat brings worse things than any that can ever happen in war. - Ernest Hemingway

I not only knew Houdini, but we had a very lovely relationship. I really though we had something going, and then the son of a gun disappeared. - Betty White

Today is yesterday's victory, yesterday is tomorrow's conquest, and tomorrow is today's war. Though I face death, I am not fearsome. - Nadège Richards

see also Army, Military & Stress Sections
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German Efficiency
German Electrician (PG)
German Forest
Grouchy German
HeidleBurger
Rare Photo of 1940 Tour de France
Urgent World War I Message
Young German Fan

04-Dec-2020