Stabity Stab Stab

A young soldier, just before battle, told his sergeant that he didn’t have a rifle.
“That’s no problem, son,” said the sergeant. “Here, take this broom. Just point it at the Germans, and go ‘Bangety Bang Bang’.”
“But what about a bayonet, Sarge?” asked the young (and gullible) recruit.
The sergeant pulls a piece of straw from the end of the broom, and attaches it to the handle end. “Here, use this... just go, ‘Stabity Stab Stab’.”

The recruit ends up alone on the battlefield, holding just his broom. Suddenly, a German soldier charges at him.
The recruit points the broom. “Bangety Bang Bang!” The German falls dead. More Germans appear. The recruit, amazed at his good luck, goes “Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!” He mows down the enemy by the dozens.
Finally, the battlefield is clear, except for one German soldier walking slowly toward him. “Bangety Bang Bang!” shouts the recruit.
The German keeps coming.
“Bangety Bang Bang!” repeats the recruit, to no avail. He gets desperate. “Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!”

It’s no use. The German keeps coming. He stomps the recruit into the ground, and says...
“Tankety Tank Tank.”

What happens when both sides have no weapons...

QuotaBills
Salivation Army - Archie Bunker

Gun Control: Using both hands - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Drill Sergeant: An army dentist. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love is a kind of military service. - Ovid

War hath no fury like a non-combatant. - Charles E Montague

How is it possible to have a civil war? - George Carlin

Great is the guilt of an unnecessary war. - John Adams

A war still rages over the legacy of the 1960s. - Camille Paglia

Make love, not war... or get married and do both. - Unknown

I now close my military career and just fade away. - Douglas MacArthur

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography. - Ambrose Bierce

War does not determine who is right - only who is left. - Bertrand Russell

Shooting Star: A famous actor who uses his gun too often - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

War is only a cowardly escape from the problems of peace. - Thomas Mann

I am all fro conversations, but you need to have a message. - Renee Blodgett

When starting and waging war it is not right that matters, but victory. - Adolf Hitler

You can get a lot farther with a kind word and a gun than a kind word alone. - Al Capone

Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime. - Ernest Hemingway

If you have a gun you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank you can rob everyone. - Unknown

I still believe that love is all you need. I don't know a better message than that. - Paul McCartney

If it weren't for the Japanese and Germans, we wouldn't have any good war movies. - Stanley Ross

I just want you to know that when we talk about war we're really talking about peace. - George W Bush

Disease is war with the laws of our being, and all war, as a great general has said, is hell. - Lewis G. Janes

'Jihad' can mean holy war to extremists, but it means struggle to the average Muslim. - Feisal Abdul Rauf

Like trying a man's finger for having pulled the trigger of a gun which murdered someone. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn't have as many monuments to unveil. - Kin Hubbard

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives. - Billy Connolly

For a war to be just three conditions are necessary - public authority, just cause, right motive. - Ernest Hemingway

Bob War: (Southern) A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: 'Boy, stay away from that bob war fence.' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If Joan of Arc could turn the tide of an entire war before her 18th birthday, you can get out of bed. - E. Jean Carroll

Only when holiness and worship meet can evil be conquered. For that, only the Christian message has the answer. - Ravi Zacharias

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. - Albert Einstein

Every happening, great and small, is a parable whereby God speaks to us, and the art of life is to get the message. - Malcolm Muggeridge

The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular? - David Sarnoff

When you say justice, it doesn't have to be war. Justice could just be clearing a path for people to dream properly. - Kanye West

It takes but one positive thought when given a chance to survive and thrive to overpower an entire army of negative thoughts. - Robert H. Schuller

I find capitalism repugnant. It is filthy, it is gross, it is alienating... because it causes war, hypocrisy and competition. - Fidel Castro

Does America really need to be the best at everything? You already dominate the world in economics, military power and obesity. - Trevor Noah

We discern across the centuries a commanding and versatile intelligence, wielding with equal force the sword of war and of justice. - Winston Churchill

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17-May-2022