Stabity Stab Stab
Fighting a losing cause with whatever you’ve got

A young soldier, just before battle, told his sergeant that he didn’t have a rifle.
“That’s no problem, son,” said the sergeant. “Here, take this broom. Just point it at the Germans, and go ‘Bangety Bang Bang’.”
“But what about a bayonet, Sarge?” asked the young (and gullible) recruit.
The sergeant pulls a piece of straw from the end of the broom, and attaches it to the handle end. “Here, use this... just go, ‘Stabity Stab Stab’.”

The recruit ends up alone on the battlefield, holding just his broom. Suddenly, a German soldier charges at him.
The recruit points the broom. “Bangety Bang Bang!” The German falls dead. More Germans appear. The recruit, amazed at his good luck, goes “Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!” He mows down the enemy by the dozens.
Finally, the battlefield is clear, except for one German soldier walking slowly toward him. “Bangety Bang Bang!” shouts the recruit.
The German keeps coming.
“Bangety Bang Bang!” repeats the recruit, to no avail. He gets desperate. “Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!”

It’s no use. The German keeps coming. He stomps the recruit into the ground, and says...
“Tankety Tank Tank.”


What happens when both sides have no weapons...

QuotaBills
Salivation Army - Archie Bunker

Leave the gun, take the cannoli. - The Godfather

Drill Sergeant: An army dentist. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Getting no message is also a message. - Unknown

How is it possible to have a civil war? - George Carlin

The army is the true nobility of our country. - Napoleon III

Make love, not war... or get married and do both. - Unknown

When the rich make war it's the poor that die. - Jean-Paul Sartre

You furnish the pictures. I'll furnish the war. - William Randolph Hearst

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

Free speech is a great idea, but we're in a war. - Lindsey Graham

Of all times in time of war the press should be free. - William Borah

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography. - Ambrose Bierce

You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war. - Albert Einstein

Shooting Star: A famous actor who uses his gun too often - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Political War: One in which everyone shoots from the lip - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Sometimes by losing a battle you find a new way to win the war. - Donald Trump

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. - Sun Tzu

In peace sons bury their fathers, but in war fathers bury their sons. - Croesus

It is well that war is so terrible, or we should grow too fond of it. - Robert E Lee

A standing army is one of the greatest mischiefs that can possibly happen. - James Madison

Your heaviest artillery will be your will to live. Keep that big gun going. - Norman Cousins

Two armies that fight each other is like one large army that commits suicide. - Henri Barbusse

I am a story teller. If I wanted to send a message I would have written a sermon. - Phillip Pullman

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown

It's better to have a gun and need it, than to not have a gun and not need it. - Ricky

He's talking another war, an old war, ya know, 1812, the one between the states. - Archie Bunker

I still believe that love is all you need. I don't know a better message than that. - Paul McCartney

When I take a gun in hand, the safest place for a pheasant is just opposite the muzzle. - Sydney Smith

Message boards are like going to a Halloween masquerade party. Everybody has a screen name. - John Mackey

During World War II children were not allowed to trick or treat because there was a sugar shortage. - Linda Bozzo

He's not a war hero. He's a war hero because he was captured. I like people that weren't captured. - Donald Trump

Only think of two things - the gun and the tape. When you hear the one, just run like hell until you break the other. - Sam Mussabini

Maybe the answer to Selective Service is to start everyone off in the army and draft them for civilian life as needed. - Bill Vaughan

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

Does America really need to be the best at everything? You already dominate the world in economics, military power and obesity. - Trevor Noah

Maybe I couldn’t be dafter,
But I keep wondering if this time we settle our differences before a war instead of after. - Ogden Nash

We discern across the centuries a commanding and versatile intelligence, wielding with equal force the sword of war and of justice. - Winston Churchill

If God has given you a message, go and give it to the people as God has given it to you. It is a stupid thing to try to be eloquent. - Dwight L. Moody

I not only knew Houdini, but we had a very lovely relationship. I really though we had something going, and then the son of a gun disappeared. - Betty White


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08-Dec-2021