Cheating U.S. Politician in 2004
How To Win An Election

Once upon a time, there was a Presidential election that was too close to call. Neither the Republican presidential candidate nor the Democratic presidential candidate had enough votes to win the election.

After much talk about ballot recounting & court challenges, a week-long ice fishing competition between the two candidates seemed the best way to settle things. The winner would be the candidate who caught the most fish at the end of the week.

After a lot of back and forth discussion, it was decided that the contest would take place on a cold, remote lake in Maine. There were to be no observers present, and both men were to be sent out separately on this remote lake and return daily with their catch for counting and verification. At the end of the first day, Kerry returns to the starting line with 10 fish. Soon, Bush returns and has zero fish. Well, everyone assumes he is just having a bad hair day or something and, hopefully, he will catch up the next day.

At the end of the second day, Kerry comes in with 20 fish and Bush comes in again with none. That evening, Bush’s campaign manager gets together secretly with Bush and says, “I think Kerry is a lowlife cheating son-of-a-gun. I want you to go out tomorrow and don’t even bother with fishing. Just spy on him and see if he is cheating in any way.”

The next night (after Kerry comes back with 50 fish), the campaign manager says to Bush, “Well, what about it, is Kerry cheating’?”

“He sure is,” Bush replied. “He’s cutting holes in the ice.”


QuotaBills
All politics is applesauce. - Will Rogers

Fishing Show: Reel-life TV. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Voting is a civic sacrament. - Theodore Hesburgh

Politics makes strange postmasters. - Kin Hubbard

Politics have no relation to morals. - Niccolo Machiavelli

Everybody knows politics is a contact sport. - Barrack Obama

You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld

Intelligence has nothing to do with politics. - Londo Molari

I have laid aside business, and gone a'fishing. - Izaak Walton

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

The art of government is the organization of idolatry. - George Bernard Shaw

If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal. - Emma Goldman

I know I can't cheat death, but I can cheat old age. - Darwin Deason

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves. - Bertrand de Jouvenel

An honest man in politics shines more than he would elsewhere. - Mark Twain

The Republicans aren't the only ones who want four more years. - Unknown

The sad duty of politics is to establish justice in a sinful world. - Reinhold Niebuhr

For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. - Bob Wells

Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty

You have to have been a Republican to know how good it is to be a Democrat. - Jackie Kennedy

What you need is somebody new - there's more than 1 fish in the woodpile. - Archie Bunker

No science is immune to the infection of politics and the corruption of power. - Jacob Bronowski

Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few. - George Bernard Shaw

My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government - he promised Dad he'd go straight. - John F Kennedy

Politics is for people who have a passion for changing life but lack a passion for living it. - Tom Robbins

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner. - James Bovard

What is the first part of politics? Education. The second? Education. And the third? Education. - Jules Michelet

A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them. - P.J. O'Rourke

I must study politics and war that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. - John Adams

I can remember when Democrats believed that it was the duty of America to fight for freedom over tyranny. - Zell Miller

The largest party in America is neither the Democrats nor the Republicans. It's the party of non-voters. - Robert Reich

Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you. - Pericles (430 B.C.)

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

One of the reasons people hate politics is that truth is rarely a politician's objective. Election and power are. - Cal Thomas

Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. - Mark Twain

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins. - Dave Barry

There is only one thing harder than looking for a dewdrop in the dew, and that is fishing for a clam in the clam chowder. - New England Proverb

The punishment which the wise suffer who refuse to take part in the government, is to live under the government of worse men. - Plato

I have long enjoyed the friendship and companionship of Republicans because I am by instinct a teacher, and I would like to teach them something. - Woodrow Wilson


see also   Fishing  &  Political  Sections
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27-Nov-2021